May 17, 2006, - 2:06 pm

Low Class: Condoleeza Rice Says 1st Boyfriend is “Rocket Man”

By Debbie Schlussel
So the most pretentious, self-righteous pop star in the world (no, not you, Madonna), Bono, is the “guest editor” of Great Britain’s Independent, today. And most of the stories are about AIDS and Africa. That’s too bad, because we were really hoping for some investigative stories about:
* How much in taxes he pays in his native Ireland (zero) while he continues to soak American taxpayers to fund his pet African debt relief project
* Why he spent $1,700 for a first-class plane ticket for his favorite hat, while he continues to soak American taxpayers to fund his pet African debt relief project
* How much he personally has given to fund his pet African debt relief project (VERY little), while he continues soak American taxpayers to fund his pet African debt relief project
* How soaking American taxpayers to fund his pet African debt relief project helps fund terrorism

condoleezarice.jpg

Low Class: Why Clueless Condoleeza Likes “Rocket Man”

Also, in the paper, Bono asked Secretary of State Condoleeza Clueless to tell us the top 10 songs in her IPod while she works out. For someone who’s supposed to be dealing with the problems of the world as they affect the U.S., she spends an awful lot of time giving media interviews about her work-outs (on TV, in the now-defunct George Magazine, and now this, etc., etc., etc.).
We don’t care for Rice because of–among other things–her absurd statements like, “The Palestinian people’s . . . aspirations for peace and a peaceful life remain unchanged,” right after they chose HAMAS in their elections. And her praise of terrorist-state Libya. But one of her music choices makes her even less worthy of respect, Elton John’s “Rocket Man.”
It’s not the song. It’s her low-class editorial comment about why she likes the song:

It brings back memories of . . . my first boyfriend.

While we’re not going to ask what she means by that, we will say this: Get some class, Condo-girl. We figure that she made this sexual reference about a boyfriend to stop the everlasting rumors that the single, 51-year-old Rice is gay. But why dignify those by trying to respond with this VERY undignified response?
Then, she throws in that her all-time fave music is Mozart. Whatever. That’s not gonna bring her back from the gutter.
Great if she wants to be a phone sex operator, but not exactly the appropriate for a Secretary of State. Yet another reason why we laugh whenever anyone suggests this woman for Prez. Also in her music choices is Aretha Franklin’s “Respect,” but Condoleeza gets no R-E-S-P-E-C-T from us. Her other favorites:
* Kool & The Gang’s “Celebration” (Well, now we know she likes corny Bar Mitzvah party music.)
* Something she calls “Acid Rock” (What is that? Is that like the “Acid Jeans” which were in style for a day in 1983?)

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Print Friendly



Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

11 Responses

Shes’ going on MTV tomorrow to field questions about whether she wears thongs vs. briefs.
Then, it’s off to Emeril Live where she’ll prepare some of her favorite recipes such as Condoleezza Rice Pudding, Condoleezza Rice Pilaf, and Condoleezza Rice and Beans.
Then, it’s off to Ofrah’s Show where she’ll sing Rocket Man while jumping up and down on a couch.

Thee_Bruno on May 17, 2006 at 3:11 pm

Guess THIS http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y48/EminemsRevenge/madcondi.jpg does qualify Condi as a lesbo!!!
Coming from ME it’s more joke than LIBEL…but from an ALMOST journalist and alleged lawyer like YOU!!!
Guess you skipped your ETHICS class in law school Debs…but it’s refreshing to see that you’ve fallen to MY level.

EminemsRevenge on May 17, 2006 at 3:51 pm

I for one am appalled!

Manatoch on May 17, 2006 at 3:59 pm

uh, 3_bruno
did you forget to mention Condoleezza Rice a’Roni?
or is that not on todays menu?

louielouie on May 17, 2006 at 7:14 pm

Dear louielou-ass,
You would need three brain transplants to even start to be considered an asshole.

Thee_Bruno on May 17, 2006 at 8:20 pm

As much as I can’t stand women who go around talking about their sex lives, I’m glad she just ruined her chances of being elected president. (Acid rock would be like Jimi Hendrix if I’m not mistaken)

KnightoftheImpaler on May 17, 2006 at 10:20 pm

Acid rock is Jefferson Airplane in the Ina Gada Davita dudes…Hendrix was BLUES

EminemsRevenge on May 18, 2006 at 12:18 pm

Hendrix was acid rock with a blues base. And he was damned good at it. Its a shame he didn’t try to play a little more pure blues. He was probably the best blues/rock guitarist who ever lived. With the possible exception of Eric Clapton who played his share of acid rock in the 60′s & 70′s. Lately he has been playing with the great blues singers & guitarists of our times like B.B. King and Buddy Guy.
As far as Condi goes, I think she is probably one of the smartest women in American politics and in general today. In a debate she would shred Hillary and almost any other candidate the Democrats could field.

Architect on May 18, 2006 at 1:08 pm

With the exception of this comment which showed low class and brought up some pretty unpleasant imagery, Condoleeza Rice is usually pretty good as a politician. However she doesn’t seem to have any ideas of her own. It could be that she really does and her defense of the Bush administration’s most indefensible policies are just her being a good soldier, but more likely she’s just in it for the power. This comment could be the beginning of her downfall, as though being in the tough position of having to say the things she does with a straight face has taken its toll on her. Or maybe not. We’ll see.

KnightoftheImpaler on May 18, 2006 at 8:20 pm

Well,anyway,we know dat Condi & Shmono ain’t
musicians.Regarding serious musicians-the great jazz pianist Oscar Peterson claimed that Art Tatum almost caused him to break down and stop playing
and the late,great classical pianist Vladimir Horowitz claimed that Tatum reduced him to tears.
Tatum,who was blind in his left eye and almost blind in his right eye,could whip Bono “the musician’s” ass-even if he could see.

jaywilton on May 19, 2006 at 1:01 pm

Leave a Reply

* denotes required field