July 6, 2006, - 1:46 pm

North Korea Hoop Dream: Enlist Michael Jordan to Stop Kim Jong-Il

By Debbie Schlussel
On last night’s “NBC Nightly News,” we heard former Clintonista dip . . . lomat to North Korea, Wendy Sherman, say that North Korean despotic leader Kim Jong Il is a huge Michael Jordan fan. She said that she, therefore, presented him with a signed basketball from Air Jordan.
She didn’t get much in return for that. But neither is the Bush Admin with its ever softening, completely wimpy pronouncements to Kim, reminiscent of then-UN Weapons Chief Inspector Hans Blix threatening to send a threatening letter to Kim in “Team America: World Police” (our rave review of that movie, here). (Amused by this impotence, Kim Jong Il feeds Blix to his pet sharks.)
So we have a better idea. Let the short man (Kim is a pudgy 5′ 3″) be towered over in person by new U.S. Envoy to N. Korea Michael Jordan. We think the man could get some results . . . or, at least, make Kim feel very unmasculine in the basketball giant’s presence.

kimjongilteamamerica.jpghansblixteamamerica.jpg

Hey, if the Prez can enlist Graceland and the long-dead King (see here also) toward successful diplomacy, why not another pop culture icon, who happens to be alive and available?
We’d prefer our forces shooting down their Taepodong-2 missile tests. But since Bush doesn’t have the cojones to do it, maybe Michael Jordan can achieve something off the battlefield.
***
The Washington Post confirms Sherman’s basketball story and Stalinist murderer Kim Jong-Il’s love for his Airness, Michael Jordan and many other oddities of the World According to Kim:

His own bizarre story could make an interesting movie — a surreal epic with drunken orgies, exotic dancing, gourmet pizza, Michael Jordan, a crying contest, magical albino animals and a mummified corpse that reigns as “President for Eternity.”

michaeljordan.jpg

American Special Envoy to North Korea?

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9 Responses

On the “300 Million Strong” post below, i think someone tried to insult me by saying i was a LIBERTARIAN…so i looked it up: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&rls=GGLD,GGLD:2004-47,GGLD:en&defl=en&q=define:Libertarian&sa=X&oi=glossary_definition&ct=title
Don’t sound all that bad to me, especially definitions 2 & 3!!!
So i guess NOW i’m supposed to come to the defense of Air Sambo???!!!!
Nigga pleeze…all THAT shows is that North Korea is chomping at the bit to become included into the Amerikkklan empire.

EminemsRevenge on July 6, 2006 at 3:14 pm

Maybe M&M would like it better in KKKorea.

Thee_Bruno on July 6, 2006 at 3:19 pm

Beats all seeing all those clowns in Flushing called Mets fans.

EminemsRevenge on July 6, 2006 at 5:15 pm

Send Jessie, he may repair accomplish something and repair ties between Koreans and blacks!

KOAJaps on July 6, 2006 at 7:18 pm

Oh and the Hebrew Nats were great! I had six. Boy ws I stuffed

KOAJaps on July 6, 2006 at 7:28 pm

M&M;
Did you take a poll of all those Oriental so-called “Mets fans” in Flushing?
Froot Loop.

Thee_Bruno on July 6, 2006 at 11:25 pm

KOJaps,
You were 47 3/4 franks short of Kobayashi’s record. Better luck next year.
Apparently, Kobayashi is the ‘King of All Japs’.
However, I do like your Prime Minister.

Thee_Bruno on July 6, 2006 at 11:28 pm

Bush was at Dunkin Donuts when the NK’s launched. I guess we really do live in a police state!

CornCoLeo on July 7, 2006 at 8:42 pm

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