July 6, 2006, - 1:46 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
On last night’s “NBC Nightly News,” we heard former Clintonista dip . . . lomat to North Korea, Wendy Sherman, say that North Korean despotic leader Kim Jong Il is a huge Michael Jordan fan. She said that she, therefore, presented him with a signed basketball from Air Jordan.
She didn’t get much in return for that. But neither is the Bush Admin with its ever softening, completely wimpy pronouncements to Kim, reminiscent of then-UN Weapons Chief Inspector Hans Blix threatening to send a threatening letter to Kim in “Team America: World Police” (our rave review of that movie, here). (Amused by this impotence, Kim Jong Il feeds Blix to his pet sharks.)
So we have a better idea. Let the short man (Kim is a pudgy 5′ 3″) be towered over in person by new U.S. Envoy to N. Korea Michael Jordan. We think the man could get some results . . . or, at least, make Kim feel very unmasculine in the basketball giant’s presence.
Hey, if the Prez can enlist Graceland and the long-dead King (see here also) toward successful diplomacy, why not another pop culture icon, who happens to be alive and available?
We’d prefer our forces shooting down their Taepodong-2 missile tests. But since Bush doesn’t have the cojones to do it, maybe Michael Jordan can achieve something off the battlefield.
The Washington Post confirms Sherman’s basketball story and Stalinist murderer Kim Jong-Il’s love for his Airness, Michael Jordan and many other oddities of the World According to Kim:
His own bizarre story could make an interesting movie — a surreal epic with drunken orgies, exotic dancing, gourmet pizza, Michael Jordan, a crying contest, magical albino animals and a mummified corpse that reigns as “President for Eternity.”
Tags: basketball, Bush, envoy, Hans Blix, impotence, Jong-Il By Debbie Schlussel On, Kim Jong-Il, Kim Jong-Il By, King, leader, Michael Jordan, NBC, North Korea, President for Eternity., Special Envoy, Team America, The Washington Post, United Nations, Weapons Chief Inspector, Wendy Sherman, World Police