September 5, 2006, - 9:22 am
By Debbie Schlussel
To read the papers, today, you’d think it was the Second Coming, tonight, on the “CBS Evening News.”
Yup, Queen Katie, the newly annointed Her Royal Highness of Girl Power Newsiness, takes her throne atop CBS, tonight. We’re not thrilled (Read my comments in USA Today upon Katie’s send-off from NBC’s “Today”).
We wonder if Queen Katie will use her valley girl vocab, including, “I’m stoked,” on the Evening News. Will she show us some of her well-known, past bodily “displays” (emphasis on the “splay” part of that word)? We’re referring to her on-air colonoscopy. Well, it wasn’t just any colonoscopy. Pre-photoshopping Katie’s figure to thinness a la CBS, she actually was thin once. And vanity overtakes sanity–she insisted on sexing it up beyond respectability for even a morning TV host. “Today Show” cameras showed us her thong underwear being slinked off her legs.
Even AARP Magazine didn’t show us that, last year, when she did a lot of very unanchorly cleavage shots for them, below.
Yes, tonight, CBS has the dubious distinction of coronating the very first news anchor to show us her thong underwear on live national television. (We’re not including “The Naked News,” of course.)
We predict that CBS will get a temporary bump, this week, as curious gawkers will want to see how Katie–thong (these days it’s a larger size needing photoshop) and all–fare. But, even that can’t be attributed to Katie because she’s had to convince the likes of Rush Limbaugh to create an artificial ratings bump for the gerontological network news show.
The CBS Evening News with Katie Couric, Thong et al.
Tags: CBS, Elmo Even, Katie Couric, Katie Tonight By Debbie Schlussel, morning TV host, NBC, Queen, the CBS Evening News, the Evening News, The Naked News, the Second Coming, USA Today