September 29, 2006, - 12:27 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
Gross! Oprah’s “O” Magazine picks “The Real Sexiest Men Alive” (“Real” is underlined in the mag) in its October 2006 issue. And all we can say is: BLECHHHHHHH!
Among her top 16 of allegedly “sexiest” men alive are far-left moonbat-in-chief blogger Markos Moulitsas Zuniga. Eeeuuuuwwww. What is sexy about him? Conspiracy theorists are sexy? Who knew? He’s number 7. Gushes annoying O Contributing Editor Aimee Lee Ball:
His wildly popular Daily Kos blog is arguably the most exciting new place for discourse about public policy issues like stem cell research and privacy that concern us all, or should. A little self-deprecation is so appealing (he calls himself a loudmouthed nerd), as is his mastery of his domain.
Uh, sorry, but the only mastery of any domain that Moulitsas reminds us of is that of the infamous “The Contest” episode of “Seinfeld” dealing with that “topic.”
And there are others of his ilk. Number 3 is testy, anti-Bush NBC White House correspondent David Gregory, he of White House press conference eruptions. Number 5 is leftist Senator Barack Obama. Number 10 is leftist economist and U.N. advisor Jeffrey D. Sachs–the Harvard academic who, along with Bono, wants U.S. taxpayers to forgive trillions in debt owed us by terror-host states like Sudan. Not sexy. Just absurd.
At number 14 is liberal, pan-Islamist Muslim commentator Fareed Zakaria. Because you always have to have your token unsexy Muslim apologist on any sexy list, right? Otherwise, CAIR will protest you. And finally, at number 16, is Patrick J. Fitzgerald. Why do the ambiguously gay chicks at House of Oprah think he’s sexy? Take a guess.
As special prosecutor investigating the outing of covert CIA operative Valerie Plame, he insisted on questioning George W. Bush. Being unafraid to speak truth to power and playing a mean game of rugby is an unbeatable sexy combination.
Uh, no it isn’t . . . except maybe to “women” like Oprah and Gayle, who don’t like men. And by the way, how did indicting Scooter Libby “speak truth to power,” when Fitzgerald knew all along that lib Richard Armitage outed Plame? Apparently railroading an innocent “neo-con” in Federal Court is extremely sexy in the World According to HOprah.
Here’s the complete list of geekiest liberal, er . . . “real sexiest” men alive:
1. Cory A. Booker–liberal Newark Mayor and Yale lawyer.
2. Larry Page and Sergey Brin–Google founders.
3. David Gregory
4. Albert Pujols–St. Louis Cardinals First Baseman (he should sue Oprah for listing him among these geeks; very uncool)
5. Barack Obama
6. James Nachtway–photographer of the African AIDS crisis
7. Markos Moulitsas Zuniga
8. Robert Egger–founded D.C. Central Soup Kitchen
9. Dr. Drew Pinsky–hosts sex radio show, used to host MTV sex show
10. Jeffrey D. Sachs
11. Larry Norton–Breast cancer researcher (also needs to sue Oprah)
12. Johann Olav Koss–Olympic gold medalist who uses sports as tool for kids in third world
13. Michael Arad–Architect designing politically correct Ground Zero Memorial with artsy fartsy pools and waterfalls and “living park” devoid of noting what really happened there
14. Fareed Zakaria
15. Alton Brown–Food Network chef
16. Patrick J. Fitzgerald
If these men are “sexy,” sex is dead. Sexiest men alive? More like, squirreliest. Yet another reason why Oprah Sucks.
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