October 17, 2006, - 12:00 pm

Excited About the World Series? Don’t Be–Abu Moskowitz/ICE Princess Update

By Debbie Schlussel
I get e-mails from all over the country cheering on the Detroit Tigers in the World Series. And being a native Detroiter, I’m supposed to be in agreement with them.
Hate to sound like a party-pooper, but, if anything, the Tigers in the World Series means that for over a week, Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents in Michigan (and from as far away as Southern Ohio) will be pulled off the already strained job of investigating and arresting illegal aliens.
Instead, as happened during last year’s All-Star Game and this year’s Superbowl, ICE agents will be acting as Major League Baseball’s personal, overzealous trademark police. Their boss, Michigan/Ohio ICE Special Agent in Charge Brian Moskowitz a/k/a “Abu Moskowitz” will give them a handbook full of phrases, like “Detroit Baseball,” that should be undebatably in the public domain and whose use should be unfettered free speech. The agents, costumed as frat boys, will go all over the areas near Comerica Park a/k/a Taxpayer Park, harassing salesman–mostly Black–from trying to make an honest buck selling t-shirts and hats.

worldseriespic.jpgicebadge.jpg

A-Ha! So That’s Where All the Illegal Aliens Are

Not a single arrest will be made, not a single illegal alien caught, not a single tie to terrorist money-laundering uncovered. But what there will be is a lot of press for Abu Moskowitz and even his boss, that girl from the mall–Julie L. Myers a/k/a “The ICE Princess.” They will get their mugs all over ESPN.com, the pandering Detroit papers, and even watch for The ICE Princess to try to use this to get on FOX Sports Net. Finally, we have a candidate for “Worst Damn Sports Show Period.”
We’ll hear a lot of pap about how harassing these salespeople selling cheap t-shirts is counterterrorism, and how taking their shirts away will make us safer. Don’t believe the hype. We’ve seen it before. Abu M’s salivation over being on the pages of ESPN’s site, etc. It’s the same re-run, over and over again, with each different major sporting event that comes to town. We’ll probably even see a special ICE World Series pin, also paid for with your tax dollars . . . and improperly acquired World Series booty handed out to ICE agents, too.
Well, it won’t make us any safer. But World Series week is the week for illegal alien smugglers at the Michigan/Canada entry points to do their work unfettered. What will be safer will be the profits of gazillionaires like Detroit Tigers owner Mike Ilitch and the other mega-moolahed bunch of team owners. Major League Baseball Properties will be safe from terrorism (the terrorism of these harmless street vendors) come this World Series.
I’m glad that near-billionaire Ilitch will be able to afford more Grecian Formula for his toupee, courtesy of the ICE agents protecting his strange new ownership of such phrases as “Detroit Baseball,” “Hockeytown,” “D,” and other assorted letters and phrases that have been in the English alphabet and lexicon for at least decades. The way I saw him grabbing up the on-sale Grecian at a local drugstore, you’d think he, not the t-shirt vendors, needed to scrounge and scrape to eke out a life.
Outfielder Maglio Ordonez and Pitcher Kenny Rogers stand to make millions in endorsement deals, just by being in the World Series. They won’t pay a dime to guard the use of their names and images, though. Instead, you’ll be paying ICE agents–who should be going after illegal aliens–to do it. Gee, I wonder why this important national security task is not highlighted in the new ICE recruitment video.
Thanks, Abu Moskowitz. Thanks, The ICE Princess. We are now safe from t-shirts and hats invading the country with nefarious purposes. I feel so much better now. And by the way, get a new playbook. The old one you’re still using is far too predictable.
****
Here’s what the DebbieSchlussel.com World Series T-shirt would look like. Wonder if it would get confiscated by ICE:
gundog.jpg

“SAY NICE THINGS ABOUT DETROITISTAN”

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6 Responses

Exactly. The marginal profit lost to the teams and the players from the sale of these items is fractional and hence not a major problem for the Federal government. The police should be able to handle this. I am all for intellectual property and its protection, but it should be protected by its owners, not by the taxpayers.
Abu, ICE: Get back to work!–Taxpaying Citizen

lonewolf on October 17, 2006 at 1:29 pm

Time for a Minutemen North chapter for Eastern Michigan.
Nice thing about Detroit: that’s where the movie “Robocop” is set.

Jeremiah on October 17, 2006 at 1:50 pm

As a legacy Customs Special Agent, as well as a legacy Customs Inspector, I welcome the opportunity to provide a different perspective on Commercial Fraud Investigations within ICE.
I can see how many might see ICE’s work in this area might be totally misconstrued as serving only the interests of big business. Furhermore, I will NOT say that big business does not benefit, because they do. However, the American public DOES benefit when large scale commercial fraud schemes are identified, because the violations involved touch upon many different areas. For example:
SAFETY: ICE investigations have, over the years, identified many foreign-made and imported products that have borne fake safety testing labeling, such as UL (Underwriter’s Laboratories) or fire retardancy labeling. In identifying these fakes and frauds, ICE has spared the public the potential tragedy of deaths or serious injuries occuring as a result of these improperly labeled items.
TAXES: Those who engage in transborder commercial fraud (e.g. knock-offs of designer goods) also defraud the U.S. treasury of funds, both in the way of import duties AND income taxes on the sales of those goods. Less money in the coffers means less money to hire the staff and purchase the support materials for our war efforts overseas and our war on terror here at home.
MONEY LAUNDERING: It is well known that drug traffickers and terrorists utilize commercial fraud schemes (e.g. double invoicing, where two sets of books are kept regarding actual income vs. stated income) to launder millions upon millions of ill-gotten dollars for their benefit. Focused, long-term forensic investigations by seasoned and dedicated ICE agents have uncovered many of these dastardly deeds over the years, resulting in criminal arrests and forfeitures of millions of dollars to the U.S.
The problem here is, again, many are concerned that, given limited resources, ICE must choose between enforcing immigration law and customs law, neither of which are being served well because you have two missions withing one agency that are completely incompoatible with one another.
Well, one shouldn’t have to be sacrificed for the other – BOTH ARE EQUALLY AND CRITICALLY IMPORTANT !!! If this concerns you, like it should, please write to your Senator, your Congressman and the President and ask WHY Immigration and Customs are NOT separate entities, and how this is hurting national security.
THIS IS NOT LARGE SCALE COMMERCIAL FRAUD, AND MOST OF IT IS NOT EVEN FRAUD AT ALL. BUT IF IT WERE, THEN WHY WAS NOT A SINGLE VENDOR ARRESTED AND NOT A SINGLE INVESTIGATION LAUNCHED BY ICE FOR EITHER THE SUPERBOWL OR THE ALL-STAR GAME? ANSWER: BECAUSE THEY KNOW THESE ARE SOLE INDIVIDUALS SELLING A FEW T-SHIRTS, WHICH IN MOST CASES DO NOT EVEN APPROACH VIOLATING ANY VALID TRADEMARK. THAT’S WHY THIS WHOLE OPERATION IS A WASTE OF TIME AND MANPOWER FOR AN AGENCY THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE DOING REAL WORK AND DEPORTING ILLEGAL ALIENS.
DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL

4EVERCUSTOMS on October 17, 2006 at 9:56 pm

I think ICE hanging out at the World Series would bother me more if I believed they’d be doing anything useful otherwise. Heck, they’d probably just be at their office watching the game if they weren’t there in person.
Go Tigers!

Dan on October 18, 2006 at 12:40 am

Well, I didn’t use any of Mr. Ilitch’s trademarks. He may own some D’s, but not any Hebrew letters. Here are some Hebrew baseball caps for Detroit fans. I bet you’ve never seen an Olde English Daled before.
http://detroitdaled.com

Johan Amedeus Metesky on October 18, 2006 at 1:54 am

Dear Ms. Schlussel:
I have noted your response to your earlier post, and would like to respond.
When you and others say that ICE should “do its job” and “remove illegals”, precisely to WHICH division are we referring: the Office of Investigations (OI), the Office of Detention and Removal (DRO) or the Federal Protective Servive (FPS)?
With regards to the protection of Federal buildings and their occupants, FPS is charged with that responsibility. Not once, in my entire tenure within ICE, have I been asked to investigate a crime that occurred at a Federal building or a crime involving one of their occupants. By the way, FPS officers don’t even have BORDER enforcement authority anyway – Will someone please explain to me, then, what they are doing withing ICE (as were the Federal Air Marshals at one time, too)?
With regards to OI, their mandate, per OPM, is the conduct of complex singular and multi – agency/jurisdictional INVESTIGATIONS which IDENTIFY, DISRUPT and DISMANTLE CRIMINAL enterprises. With all due respect, unless we are looking at an organized smuggling venture or an organized conspiracy by a specific employer to hire illegals, the identification and removal of single-issue illegals hardly constitutes any element of the above definition. By their nature, the OVERWHELMING majority of immigration matters are ADMINISTRATIVE in nature, NOT criminal, and do NOT require a GS-13, GS-1811 series Special Agent to do this work (Besides, I’ve never deported anyone in my time, to date, as an ICE Special Agent).
Now, behind Curtain No. 3, is DRO, whose officers (GS-12, GS-1801 series) outnumber OI Special Agents by almost 75 %. These officers ARE the ones responsible for identifying, apprehending and deporting these illegal aliens that have everyone up in arms. But, guess what? Every DRO office has their own director, SEPARATE AND INDEPENDENT FROM ICE’s SPECIAL AGENT IN CHARGE IN THAT AREA. So, even if Abu Moskowitz in Detroit, Jesus Torres in Miami, Elissa Brown in Chicago, etc. told their respective DRO counterparts to round-up, incarcerate and deport illegals, the DRO directors can simply look at those SACs and say “F**k you. We’ll do whatever we want, and we’ll do it whenever we’re damn good and ready”.
So, you see, the anger here is misplaced. The types of investigations I cited above are EXACTLY the type of work that SUPPOSED to be done BY THE ENTITY THAT’S SUPPOSED TO DO IT !!! – NO MORE, NO LESS. THEY FIT THE DEFINITION OF THE JOB DESCRIPTION OF WHAT A SENIOR SPECIAL AGENT GETS PAID TO DO.
Therefore, if there are concerns about the identification and removal of aliens NOT part of a complex criminal enterprise, please address them to:
Field Office Director, Detroit
333 Mt. Elliott St.
Detroit, MI 48207
Phone: 313-568-6049

4EVERCUSTOMS on October 18, 2006 at 6:40 pm

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