August 13, 2010, - 4:22 pm

Weekend Box Office: “The Expendables,” “Eat, Pray, Love,” “Scott Pilgrim,” “City of Your Final Destination”

By Debbie Schlussel

It’s August, the graveyard of bad movies, where Hollywood sends all the duds to die a quick death.  So, it’s no surprise that I hated all of the new offerings at the box office this weekend, and it’s a panoply of Marxes in the ratings.  Even more annoying, the choices feature not just one arrogant, nutty member of the Roberts family, but two (Julia and Eric).

*  “The Expendables“:  When I met Sylvester Stallone in Detroit at a premiere (check out the photo of me and Sly) of “Rocky Balboa” (read my review), I asked him about the then-upcoming “Rambo” (read my review) and whether it would involve Rambo fighting off Muslims.  He told me no, but that it was a good idea.  So, when “Expendables” opened with a scene of  several aging former action stars shooting up Somalian Muslim pirates (including splitting one in half–yes, it’s that bloody, violent, and graphic–Do NOT Let Your Kids Go See This!), I thought I was gonna like this.  Wrong.

Written by Stallone, this flick is the same old bad ’80s action film in which America is the villain, with the CIA having colonized some Latino country (in this case, it’s a Latino island nation, called “Vilena”), installed some mass-murdering dictator and human rights abuser, and started a booming illegal drug trade there.  America has made Stallone wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, so why does he regurgitate this stale, anti-American crap?

I love action, and guys’ action flicks.  But, oy vey, this stank.  I’ve seen cheesy ninja movies that were better and far more interesting.  And then there’s the story, which I basically told you above.  Stallone and his aging action star types are part of a gang of mercenaries who are paid by the millions to shoot up and kill.  Bruce Willis (who makes a single cameo in the film, as does Arnold Schwarzenegger) is a CIA operative who hires the Expendables to go to Vilena to take it back from the rogue CIA agent (Eric Roberts) who stole the whole illegal drug trade away from the rest of the CIA.  While there, Stallone meets the artist daughter of the dictator and comes back to save her.

I’m making it sound way better than it actually is.  It’s just awful.  And did I really need to see Mickey Rourke cry?  Come on.  If you wanna see a lot of unbelievable action, shooting, blood, and dismemberment by moldy, oldy has-beens, this is your movie.  For me, watching the 64-year-old Stallone hang onto a speeding airplane flying through a storm of bullets was like watching Roger Moore as James Bond in his senior citizen days.  And just as credible.  As in, not very.  It was like I was watching the action star version of Adam Sandler’s awful “Grown Ups” (read my review).  Both Sandler and Stallone brought together a whole bunch of their friends to a summer getaway for fun, an easy pay-day, a tax write-off, and a bad script the respective stars wrote.

I’ll save you some time and money by telling you the only good line in the movie:

Bruce Willis (about Arnold Schwarzenegger):  What’s his f***in’ problem?

Sly Stallone:  He wants to be President.

Jason Statham, Randy Couture, Terry Crews (whose two good lines in the movie are reminiscent of his President Camacho act in “Idiocracy”), Jet Li, Steve Austin, and a very haggard Dolph Lundgren also star.

A waste of time and ten bucks.

TWO MARXES
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Watch the trailer . . .

*  “Eat Pray Love“:  The most self-absorbed, annoying, New Age feminist piece of tripe I’ve ever seen.  So insufferable and unbearable, I wanted to kill myself, rather than sit through another minute.

Julia Roberts plays a selfish middle-aged woman who’s never grown up and is extremely dissatisfied.  In other words, Julia Roberts plays Julia Roberts.  And it gets extremely tiresome watching this ever-worn and haggard prima donna actress frown, cry, eat, and pontificate, which is all that happens in this pointless me, me, me movie.

The story (based on the book of the same name, which Oprah turned into a mega-hit among America’s brain-addled women):  A middle-aged married woman has it all but feels unfulfilled.  So, she dumps her husband who loves her, has a fling with a 28-year-old (James Franco), then travels to Italy to eat pasta and sulk, to India to meditate at an ashram of some picture of an Indian guru woman who lives in New York (and is laughing all the way to the bank at these idiots), and then hang with a “wise man” in Bali, have sex with Javier Bardem, and try to be mean to him and dump him.  So much overwrought angst, so much unnecessary drama, so stupid.

Absolutely awful beyond belief.  And do you really wanna sit through a movie in which four–yup, FOUR!–men cry?  Uh, no thanks.  And how many frickin’ close-ups of this woman’s mouth and people eating did I need to see?  This movie will give you your life’s fill and then some.

Guys, if your female significant other tries to drag you to this, slit your wrists.  It’ll be less painful.

Julia Roberts once said that the word “Republican” is in the dictionary between “Reptile” and “Repulsive.”  No, honey, that’s where this movie is .  .  . along with the very has-been, self-righteous star of this long, boring, waste-of-time flick.

Stick a fork in it, you’re done.

While vast numbers of American women have already made the book a best seller, this movie is a national IQ test for the rest.  If you’re a woman and you  like it, you failed.  If you’re a guy and you like it, you’re gay.

Eat Pray . . . Shove it.

FOUR MARXES PLUS A BETTY FRIEDAN
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Watch the trailer . . .

* “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World“: More like me versus my urge to walk the heck out. Guess which one won? Well, after forcing myself to sit through 1.5 hours of this, my feet did the talkin’.

Michael Cera stars in one of the most pretentious, stupid, too cute movies I’ve seen in recent memory. He plays a band member who falls for a girl but first must fight off each of her seven “evil exes” with magical powers before he can win her as his. And I’m making this sound far more exciting and interesting than it is.  It’s supposed to be a “fantasy comedy.”  But it’s neither fantastic, nor humorous in the least.

Instead, it’s boring, appears to be written by a two-year-old, and I just couldn’t take it. The teens and 20-somethings who watched it in the audience at the late-night show I attended laughed non-stop at what was not funny and just plainly stupid. I felt like I was in the audience of “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.”

This is a national IQ test for teens and 20-somethings. If you like it, you fail. And sadly, far too many of them will. I predict it will be a hit. Because our next generation of American adults are mostly slackers and selfish morons. Hate to be a pessimist, but this garbage and the hype over it (the movie name is atop Twitter as I write this and has been for weeks) confirms my diagnosis.

THREE MARXES
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Watch the trailer . . .

* “The City of Your Final Destination“: One of the most boring arthouse movies I’ve ever seen. And that’s really saying something. Slower than slow. And utterly pointless.

An American grad student of Persian descent has a grant to write a book about an author who committed suicide at his compound in South America. The plan to write the book is rejected by the late author’s surviving family members, and the grad student needs their participation or the project is toast. The grad student’s aggressive, pushy girlfriend urges him to visit the family. He does and meets the dead author’s gay brother (Anthony Hopkins, who must’ve needed the dough), widow (Laura Linney–ditto), mistress, illegitimate daughter. There he climbs a ladder, gets stung by a bee, goes to the hospital, has an affair with the mistress, and discusses smuggling jewels for the gay brother. And the point is? I’m not sure . . . other than to occupy nearly two hours of my time that I’ll never get back.

THREE MARXES
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Watch the trailer . . .

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50 Responses

Given the Left’s unending attacks on religious freedom and people of faith (except Muslims, of course, who are constantly bent over backwards to), is it any wonder why we have women like the shallow, superficial type played by Julia Roberts in the “Eat Pray Love” tripe who follow huckster “gurus” and other New Age blarney?

Related to this, I read a newspaper article a couple of days ago where another woman who went to the same ashram as the “Eat Pray Love” author said her entire life was ruined for over a decade because she took that very route.

ConcernedPatriot on August 13, 2010 at 4:32 pm

    Good point! Feminism has made American women feel unfulfilled with marriage and family. Its probably done more damage to the female psyche and the family than any other movement in history.
    If you like self-indulgence, immaturity, adultery and the glamorous (ain’t that) single life, then “Eat, Pray, Love” is definitely your movie.

    Debbie’s right: women for whom the traditional family isn’t good enough and gays will love it. The rest of us can take a pass on it for good!

    NormanF on August 13, 2010 at 7:35 pm

Michael Cera sucks. He’s not a versatile actor. He plays the same shy, nerdy character in every movie he’s in.

M: AMEN, Bruthah! DS

Matthew on August 13, 2010 at 4:52 pm

“I predict it will be a hit.” Wouldn’t you prefer that a movie for which your criticism was that it is not funny and another which you call “cheesy”, beat “Eat, Pray, Love”?
“It was like I was watching the action star version of Adam Sandler’s awful ‘Grown Ups’”–wouldn’t say that is true. No, not true. I would like “The Expendables” to have many sequels, each time collecting different action stars, like the ones they could not get for this would be in the next, like Wesley Snipes and Jean-Claude Van Damme… imagine Harrison Ford, Tom Cruise, Jackie Chan, Carl Weathers and Mr. T together. Maybe have a scene where Mr. T comes through a doorway and points his finger at Stallone and yells, “I’m back! You thought I was gone didn’t ya?” Weathers puts his hand on Stallone’s shoulder and says, “Go for it! Beat him like you did last time.” Mr. T responds, “Oh no you don’t. My prediction? Pain. This time I got help.” Then Hulk Hogan appears through the doorway and says, “I’m gonna break your back, meatball.” A nice throwback moment.
No problem with “guys” crying, shows you care–a problem if something tragic would happen and they acted like the Terminator or smiled or even laughed (a what! moment–in “Blood Surf”, after seeing her husband eaten alive, a woman says, “Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy,” and then keeps going)… Good scene with Stallone crying in “First Blood”.

MH on August 13, 2010 at 5:23 pm

P.S. One of the credited screenwriters of “Eat Pray Love” was one Jennifer Salt (alas, no relation to the character played by “Skankelina” Jolie in the recent “Salt” flick).

ConcernedPatriot on August 13, 2010 at 5:24 pm

This is why so many guys in America have grown vaginas, starting with the POTUS. This nation used to be manly. Now we are wimpy sissies. Hollywood has helped poison the youth through their limp wristed, faggoty movies.

No tampons for me, folks. Let’s get back to “See a Muslim, kill a Muslim.”

Jgrant on August 13, 2010 at 5:28 pm

re: Michael Cera

When I saw the previews for the movie ‘Year One’, I thought he was a broad!

And in the Movie ‘Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist’, that effeminate bag-of-bones winds up with hottie Kat Dennings!

guitarguy on August 13, 2010 at 5:45 pm

    Me too! It took several viewings of the trailer before I figured out it was him. I did NOT go to see the movie and I’m not going to rent it.

    DavidJ on August 14, 2010 at 8:22 pm

If you want to see a bloodiest, then the expendables is for you. It’s exactly what it’s supposed to be….guys blowing $&!! Up! Who cares what the plot was. Grenade launcher + automatic shotgun + stupid explosions = good old fashion fun!
At least it was not dances with smurfs part 2

At

BradWood on August 13, 2010 at 6:12 pm

Wait Schlussel you don’t like Hitchiker’s Guide to The Galaxy? Are you trying to get every nerd to hate you?

CO on August 13, 2010 at 6:14 pm

Those 4 films are more examples of Hollywood NOT GETTING IT! FOUR OTHER MORE EXAMPLES OF ME WANTING THE BIG ONE TO STRIKE!

Bob Porrazzo on August 13, 2010 at 6:30 pm

Debbie your review on Julia Roberts movie was classic. By the way comparing this movie to tripe is doing tripe a disservice. “If you are a guy and you like it you’re gay” Awesome take.

Your wit and takes on society are far better than Dennis Miller.

CaliforniaScreaming on August 13, 2010 at 6:36 pm

Yup. The graveyard of bad movies. That’s why no one is around to watch ‘em in August. Every one’s on vacation!

NormanF on August 13, 2010 at 7:05 pm

Okay, Debbie, but tell us how you really feel about “Eat Pray Love.“

Quorum on August 13, 2010 at 7:07 pm

    She’s really telling us how she feels about Julia Roberts. Her acting hasn’t improved. I guess she needed the paycheck. So do a lot of past-the-prime stars.

    Her last good movie was “Pretty Woman” but then again you can only watch a hooker made into a princess so many times before it grows old!

    NormanF on August 13, 2010 at 7:41 pm

Something tells me that, the timing of the release notwithstanding, this “Eat Pray Love” is meant to propel Julia Roberts to another Oscar nomination for her, er, role. Regardless, I find the “Betty Friedan” added rating to be very apropos, indeed.

ConcernedPatriot on August 13, 2010 at 7:12 pm

A movie in the August graveyard? The Hollywood libs might just go for it to tell Debbie Schlussel what they really think! And yes, its the only kind of movie the late Betty Friedan and her ilk would have loved.

NormanF on August 13, 2010 at 7:43 pm

Brava DS. I enjoyed every word of review of the crap films!

I never knew that about August, but then again I am a movie snob and for the most part hate most American mainstream films.

That dopey Julia Roberts (a mentally ill person if there ever was one) film sound worse than Chinese water torture. Women like that as depicted in the film is the main reason why our Country is sliding down the suck-slide and why dumb broads have become mean and nasty and why so many American men need to wear Tampax these days.

Oh, and Michael Cera…he can only play a milquetoasty fan-boy mieskite ‘cuz that is who he is.

Skunky on August 13, 2010 at 8:10 pm

The only thing worse than a weekend of lousy movies is the predictability on Monday of the reporting of which movie made the most money. Is anyone else annoyed to derision (for a moment)when they announce the “top five” movies for the weekend as if you had nothing better to do?

T. Y. on August 13, 2010 at 8:55 pm

I just finished watching three of the four movies you reviewed today, Debbie. I couldn’t agree more with your comments about Julia Roberts. She is truly a disgusting creature. I guess her role in life is to act as an emissary from the Hollywood ruling class elite to teach us life lessons in order to better us as people. In Eat, Pray, Love she teaches us that:
1) Italians understand the art of “doing nothing.” That’s why they enjoy life more and are smarter than Americans who work too hard.
2) Women should eat more even if they get fat. They should not feel guilt about eating! Men don’t care anyway as long as women take their clothes off in the bedroom.
3) True happiness comes from helping the disadvantaged, especially if the disadvantaged includes a woman who once suffered in a bad marriage with a man who beat her.
And so on, and so on. A LOT of life lessons in this film how bad Americans are, how other cultures are superior, how women should leave marriages that are stale and boring, etc.

I guess I liked The Expendables better than you, thought it was easily better than The A-Team and The Losers put together. I’m not a great fan of Stallone, but this movie which he wrote and directed did a fine job of bringing together a lot of egos and giving the stars enough attention and decent lines to make them interesting as characters. Unlike The A-Team and Losers, I did not see this as anti-American or anti-CIA. The CIA didn’t install the South American dictator here; they recognized the problem when a rogue CIA agent went dirty and so hired mercenaries to clean up the mess. Unlike in the other movies, the CIA never hunted these good guys down and tried to kill them. Also, the code of ethics among the mercenaries was reasonable, conservative and uncomplicated: don’t let men beat up women and don’t turn a blind eye to really bad stuff. Finally, the acting was understated in a good way, there was much low-key humor (sometimes sly without becoming campy), and my only major complaint was that much of the action was blurry. I also liked the gruff wisdom of all the main players as opposed to the slick, hip, too-cool attitudes in Losers and A-Team.

All I’ll say about Scott Pilgrim vs.the World is that I thought that it was brilliant from start to finish. It was like a Kevin Smith (Clerks) or Howard Hawks film on speed. The dialogue was very quick, but far quicker than that were the sight gags, blazing graphics, unpredictable cartoons, strange action stunts and twists and turns in the plot. Although it’s true that the movie is gay-friendly and that Cera plays a feminized, unmanly nerd, the screenplay was far from politically correct (just recall the way that vegans were relentlessly ridiculed, for example).

Burke on August 14, 2010 at 12:55 am

A bit off topic maybe, but as a musician I get really annoyed at what most people might consider trivial. Anyone else notice (guitarguy?) that ‘Scott Pilgrim’ is holding a Rickenbacker BASS like he was playing the Eruption solo from VanHalen?
Minor things that take away from the realism in a movie.

I really hate badly synched video AND badly lip synched vocals. Little things like that don’t bother most people but it drives musicians crazy! I do admire the artists who lip synch so well (like you find in some of the older videos on YouTube) that you don’t even realise there isn’t a microphone anywhere within ten feet of their lips. Not only does that take talent but goes to show the performer really cares about the audience enough to make the best impression.

theShadow on August 14, 2010 at 1:12 am

Expendables was truly awful. Even my husband thought it was total rip off. There were a bunch of “meatheads”, for lack of a better term, that were really loving it. Both my husband and I thought Salt was better by a mile. Some friends of mine reported back on Eat Pray Love, they recommended I NOT see it, said it was a bit of a snooze.

Maxi on August 14, 2010 at 12:19 pm

    hmmm…i guess me and my wife are one of those meatheads then…

    DR on August 14, 2010 at 5:17 pm

Michael Cera:You better find some range,or else you’ll end up your generation’s Robby Benson,only slightly more talented – Not necessarily a compliment.

Phineas on August 14, 2010 at 1:48 pm

I figured the movies were so bad that they had your Marx rating rating all the way. I think you need to include in your headline next time, “A Marx Moment” so you gives us heads up what your reviewed. I must say that I did not hear about The Expendables until a friend of mine ask me 2 weeks ago if I could not wait to see it. I know that I do not watch television as much or go to the movies as much, but I felt there was no advance previews or mention of this movie. I figured with names of Sly, Ahnold, Dolph, and Jet li that there would have been commercials like crazy. Oh well. The only other movie that i heard was the Julia Roberts’ Eat,Pray,Love which I have seen the book on selves of the bookstores I shop at. As soon as you mention that it had the Oprah Seal of Approval, Debbie I immediately knew that this is another wasted paper pages that could have been used for better reasons.

Mr tutee on August 14, 2010 at 4:57 pm

The Julia Roberts movie is really disturbing.
It’s the same old story. A woman has a good life and she says “screw it” I want to go find myself.
I’m a bit curious,where did she get the mega-bucks to go fly all over the world looking for herself.
Probably from the boring husband that loved her and worked his ass off to provide for her. I’m sure he would have liked to gallop all over the world instead of working hard, but he did what had to be done.

Most of us are just trying to survive and keep a roof over our heads and Hollywood makes a movie like this, pathetic.
I would love to see the bills that a trip like this would cost.
Hell, I couldn’t even afford the cost of eating out all the time much less all the airline tickets and hotel bills.

And why in the hell would you take advise from a guru that has lost most of his teeth? If the idiot doesn’t even know proper dental hygiene how do you expect him to give you the secrets of the universe and how to find happiness when he obviously can’t even find a toothbrush and floss.

smg45acp on August 14, 2010 at 5:11 pm

I saw “Scott Pilgrim” today, and I have to disagree with your review–the movie is far more clever than your review would indicate, with the main character moving from a selfish, self-absorbed nerd to a self-respecting man who learns to fight for what he wants. Along the way, the movie skewers everything from video games to vegans to cult movies like Kung Fu Hustle. And you missed the clear link between the evil exes and the baggage that everyone brings to relationships, something that most movies never deal with. I respect your views and your opinions, but I will have to disagree with the 3-Marx rating, especially for a movie that you didn’t finish. Michael Cera may not have much range, but he was perfectly cast for this role. I’m with poster Burke on this one–brilliantly done, from start to finish.

Anthony on August 15, 2010 at 12:46 am

Didn’t I tell you not to bother reviewing EAT PRAY LOVE? Show this movie at Guantanamo and it qualifies as torture. If I see it playing on airlines soon, I’ll be sick the entire flight.

Barry Popik on August 15, 2010 at 4:42 am

We stopped going to movies around 10 years ago after they started making many hate America movies. Also since the “left” took over the movie industry.

If there were still patriotic people in charge of the movie industry they would be making movies showing U.S. Marines fighting the Muslim terrorist in the Middle East (and all over the world) and being victorious.

Fred on August 15, 2010 at 4:18 pm

I couldn’t help but notice that you didn’t actually comment on Scott Pilgrim you just described the audience. In fact, most of your comments don’t go into why something was bad, in your opinion, but how the audience who sees it looks. That’s not very telling of the movie but your inability to criticize the movie. If you think it’s bad tell use why, don’t say it’s garbage at least make a flimsy excuse other then some pathetic whining about something that has no bearing on the quality of the film.

Mekhet on August 15, 2010 at 6:33 pm

To ‘The Shadow’….

Yes, I notice stuff like that….and it’s annoying.
I take notice of the guitars used in tv/movies….I want to see if the prop-guys are doing their homework.
‘The Buddy Holly Story’ shows a stratocaster that wasn’t in production while Buddy was alive. I may have spotted same issue in the Ike and Tina movie (w/Angela Bassett).
‘That Thing You Do’ shows the replacement bass-player playing a style that was unheard of in the early 60′s.
I spot stuff like that all the time.

guitarguy on August 15, 2010 at 6:37 pm

Regarding your review about Scott Pilgrim, why don’t you focus on writing ABOUT THE MOVIE instead of the audience? It may not be funny for you, but no joke is funny if you can’t understand it, right?S.P. is definitely a “nerdy” movie, and you need a little bit of knowledge about this universe to get it. It is not appealing to the big audience, but this does NOT make it a bad movie. Unfortunately your review can’t show why the movie is bad in your opinion, it just shows your ignorance.

Rafael on August 15, 2010 at 7:19 pm

I saw The Expendables yesterday. I liked it a tad, just a tad, better than you because I like Jason Statham from The Transporter movies. OK, and I think Charisma Carpenter is vavooooooom!!!!!!!!

I don’t know why Carpenter and Rourke were even in this movie. Both were wasted and neither contributed anything. Are they friends of Stallone who he just wanted to give a paycheck to? Jet Li did a tad more, but he was wasted, too.

It seemed it could have been a pretty cool movie if someone besides Stallone had been in charge of it, like Luc Besson. Stallone seems he wants to be the “sensitive” macho guy these days….blecch! I think only Statham saved this movie from total stinker for me….oh yeah, and seeing the gorgeous Charisma if only briefly!

I snuck over and saw Inception. I am a huge fan of Christoper Nolan, but I guess I have to see it yet again, or maybe 10 more times.

I’m still very confused. At this point I’m not sure if it’s the good kind of confused (like after The Prestige) or maybe it’s a big cloud of pretension. I’ll probably know after seeing it again.

One thing I agree with your review, Ellen Page is a lousy actress, totally overrated.

Jeff W. on August 15, 2010 at 11:43 pm

eat, drink and be merry as I call it has got to be the worst movie ever put on the screen. what has happened to the industry what is it about julia roberts= she has the talent of a screw driver and that is way too kind. what has happened to real acting and real story telling and women that are always so discontented that they have to take off to get answers truly terrible if she gets an award for this the world is surely coming to an end==don’t go to this movie eat, rink and be merry anywhere else instead.

john spangler on August 16, 2010 at 10:33 am

A little tangent, but somewhat related: I didn’t see it, but I was told that the author of the “Eat Pray Love” book appeared on “HOprah” the other day in connection with the movie – and basically said she no longer lives that life of “searching for herself” as was promoted in the book. So apparently on top of it all (including the “me-me” selfishness), this author – Elizabeth Gilbert – is a “Class A” hypocrite, and Oprah once again was essentially promoting a quack to bilk her gullible audience. Now what was that P.T. Barnum once said about there being one born every minute . . . ?

ConcernedPatriot on August 16, 2010 at 10:38 am

I wasn’t crazy about Cera being cast as Scott Plgrim but once I saw the movie he won me over. I don’t see how you can do a review for a movie you didn’t finish. As someone else points out, Scott becomes a better person by the end of the film. He’s a jerk-ass protagonist, a loser who doesn’t deserve either girl; he does become better by the end though.
Also, you are complaining that an audience was laughing at a comedy. Is it possible only you weren’t getting the jokes?

Jasmyn on August 22, 2010 at 12:48 pm

Regarding the misuse of guitar playing and lip-synching, while I don’t care myself, it’s nonetheless and example of general sloppiness which includes Hollywood’s whole mental sloppiness including political and dramatic. Similar is the omnipresent misuse of chess games in movies or television. Every single time someone is playing chess the games ends with one player making a move that goes across the board and the player says mate. In reality games are won 95 percent of the time by winning a dominate material advantage, so your opponent resigns. I’ve lost lots of tournament games, so I know what I’m talking about. Any player who ponders or overlooks one move mates isn’t much good. AND since we’re on the subject, how about the constant misuse of cooking fires. Contrary to Hollywood you don’t cook a cow by placing it three feet above a flame. You cook with coals, and lots of them. ALSO how about the misuse of rifles!!!!!! Wesley Snipes (a great action actor, who is a real man, unlike crybaby Denzel)in U. S. Marshals is blazing away with a sniper scope and still can’t hit crap. It’s a good movie though. And they never ever use a sling in Hollywood. You really can’t shoot a rifle without a sling. I learned this when I was 12 or so. So what’s hard about this??? The best use of a weapon was in Pulp Fiction when, for the first time, somebody (Travolta) accidently shoots a guy. Thanks Debbie!

David O. on August 23, 2010 at 7:06 pm

Your reviews are great. I don’t always agree with Debbie but I truly love that Eat Pray Love review. Not just a comment on the movie but a comment on todays feminism and masculinity. Way to go Debbie.

vincenzo on August 26, 2010 at 5:10 pm

They are all silly movies and shouldn’t be taken seriously. Don’t we go to movies anyway to enjoy things that we know will never happen. Sometimes a horribly bad movie is good(The Room). It’s just overly conservative people like you are too stuck up to like anything that isn’t bloating America’s ego or bashing the gay community and the Muslims. I can’t wait for America to fall and see the look on the conservatives faces. Same goes for Liberals, except where the Conservatives like to be obnoxious, Liberals are whiny, quiet and wimpy.

Loudman on December 4, 2010 at 3:20 pm

How the fuck does me liking Scott Pilgrim VS the world make me stupid? Its an awesome movie, and I’m a videographer and I thought the movie, plot, cinematography and acting was great. Fuck you and I hope you get raped and killed.
Cheerio.

Jake on December 4, 2010 at 4:26 pm

Hating on Scott Pilgrim AND The Guide in the SAME paragraph? Good golly.

http://i51.tinypic.com/29p5h6c.jpg

47 on December 8, 2010 at 1:38 am

* “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World“: More like me versus my urge to walk the heck out. Guess which one won? Well, after forcing myself to sit through 1.5 hours of this, my feet did the talkin’.

Michael Cera stars in one of the most pretentious, stupid, too cute movies I’ve seen in recent memory. He plays a band member who falls for a girl but first must fight off each of her seven “evil exes” with magical powers before he can win her as his. And I’m making this sound far more exciting and interesting than it is. It’s supposed to be a “fantasy comedy.” But it’s neither fantastic, nor humorous in the least.

Instead, it’s boring, appears to be written by a two-year-old, and I just couldn’t take it. The teens and 20-somethings who watched it in the audience at the late-night show I attended laughed non-stop at what was not funny and just plainly stupid. I felt like I was in the audience of “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.”

This is a national IQ test for teens and 20-somethings. If you like it, you fail. And sadly, far too many of them will. I predict it will be a hit. Because our next generation of American adults are mostly slackers and selfish morons. Hate to be a pessimist, but this garbage and the hype over it (the movie name is atop Twitter as I write this and has been for weeks) confirms my diagnosis.

Debbie Schlussel on December 11, 2010 at 11:17 pm

I am not a teen and I usually check your site before i rent a movie but seriously you need lighten up-this was just plain fun movie (scott pilgrim)
the only other movie that i know of that i have watched and disagreed with, was that one where the married owner of a factory
has affair with clepto girl–you liked it– was one of the worst i ever seen-looked like a failed pilot for tv series.

markcon on March 10, 2011 at 12:10 am

Wow debbie you’re so edgy.

What a joke.

Dave on April 2, 2011 at 10:10 am

Hey debbie, why are watching kids movies for? You’re a grown adult. Rating kids movies with marxes? What is wrong with you?

Gary on April 2, 2011 at 10:24 am

I figured she didn’t have much of a background. I did some research. I was right.

Dann on May 17, 2011 at 5:23 am

“Because our next generation of American adults are mostly slackers and selfish morons”

Well, fuck your shit, you old ugly bitch.

1337 on May 24, 2011 at 5:27 pm

Yo debbie, why you gotta talk shit? Go get laid a couple times, air that baby tunnel out.

Dick Van Dyke on May 24, 2011 at 5:44 pm

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