November 19, 2006, - 9:08 am

Honey, I Shrunk the Bride

By Debbie Schlussel
Only one reason to note the bizarro Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes marriage, yesterday, on this site: Bride Holmes, who usually towers over cruise even in flat shoes (she’s several inches taller) has suddenly shrunken a few inches for this official bridal shot. Yes, the vanity of Tom Cruise and other Hollywood stars like him goes even that low (well, to be fair, she’s the one going low–bending her knees and leaning down–to look shorter). “Now, Kate, after I jumped on that Oprah couch, it wouldn’t look good if you are taller than me in our wedding photos, so scoot down.” More smoke and mirrors from Hollywood.
By the way, just how does a Scientology wedding ceremony go, anyway?–”Does your e-meter take her e-meter ’til L. Ron Hubbard science fiction death do you part?” Just curious.

cruiseholmeswedding.jpg

Hey, look, in this pic, Tom Cruise is taller than Oprah, too (and she’s even wearing high heels) . . .
tomcruiseoprahjumping.jpg

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6 Responses

Painful to look at.

Jeremiah on November 19, 2006 at 3:50 pm

The “height scam” was also a BIG pet peeve with Nicole Kidman when she was married to this fag. Nicole Kidman admitted, after they were divorced, that she also had to hide the fact that she was taller than this “salami-smuggler”. She admitted that she had to accede to the demands of this domineering, mindless, cult-following scumbag and his $cientology handlers. Nicole had to wear flat shoes and bend her knees to make this gerbil-worshipping louse appear that he was dominant, via height.
The best thing that Katie could do is run as fast and as far away from this colon-climber as she can. Otherwise, she’d be no better off than marrying a Satan-worshipping, Muzlum cultist, who’d put just as many restictions on her as Timmy Cruise, and his $cientology $hitheads. (BTW, do some research and find out why every honest critic who knows anything about $cientology, uses “$”, when we spell it).
BTW, for the great unwashed: $cientology is a “religion” that was invented in the 1950′s by a science-fiction writer; L. Ron Hubbard.
In short; $cientology is a doctrine that revolves around Xenu (also Xemu) who was an alien ruler of the “Galactic Confederacy”, and who, 75 million years ago, brought billions of aliens to Earth in DC-8-like spacecraft, stacked them around volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs. Their souls then clustered together and stuck to the bodies of the living, and continue to wreak chaos and havoc today.
And, you mindless women (and men) wet yourselves every time you see this mindless, cult-worshipping airhead, Tom Cruise on the screen. You’re nothing but complete assholes, yourselves!
$cientology is a cult that uses intimidation tactics on its followers, as well as physical violence and psychological abuse to enforce its doctrines and to keep their members from defecting – it’s the same classic techniques used by all cults (btw, Islam employs the same tactics).
Too bad, Katie. Two years from now you’ll be filing divorce papers. However, Italy does not recognize $cientology marriages…and there was no civil ceremony performed in Los Angeles before you departed for Italy. Therefore, when it comes time to divorce this fruitcake, you’ll be shit-out-of-luck as far as money goes. As far as custody…well, you don’t have a prayer…just ask the mother of Michael Jackson’s kids.
What a mindless little twit you are.

Thee_Bruno on November 19, 2006 at 10:13 pm

Bruno,
You are spot-on! Why anyone cares about this pile of human waste is beyond me. Yet, apparently a gazillion people do! Otherwise, why does he get so much press? It’s a sad time we’re living in. $cientology needs to be exposed for what is is. If people knew more about it, Cruise would never sell another film, and Kirstie Alley would never sell another tV show, and Chick Corea would never sell another record.

Skippy on November 20, 2006 at 1:37 pm

According to imdb.com she is 5’9″ and he is 5’7″.

Atlantic1 on November 20, 2006 at 2:34 pm

And Oprah is 5’6″ (6 and 1/2 actually).

Atlantic1 on November 20, 2006 at 2:36 pm

This belongs on the “Who gives a shit” channel.

TonyDee on November 21, 2006 at 12:41 pm

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