December 14, 2006, - 2:32 pm

“We Are Marshall” = We Are Girlie-Men

By Debbie Schlussel
Some producer of Damsel-in-Distress Movies of the Week for Lifetime must have insisted on inserting him/herself into a sports movie. Because that’s what “We Are Marshall” seemed like to me: “Lifetime Does Brian’s Song.”
While I’m prohibited from reviewing the movie until it’s released next week, I can tell you this: I’ve never seen more men crying repeatedly in one venue than on the screen during this movie.
This isn’t a sports movie or a football movie. It’s a Lifetime chick-flick melodrama with shoulder pads and jerseys thrown in as hapless accessories. It’s so overwrought and filled with sobbing, that I think Terry Bradshaw would feel right at home with his anti-depressants.

wearemarshallmovieposter.jpg

For the rest of America’s guys: stay away. “We Are Marshall” = We Are Girlie-Men. This is not a good tribute to the Marshall players who died in the plane crash. They’re probably turning over in their graves (and trying not to drown from the rivers of tears that are flooding the coffins). It’s no surprise that the movie was directed by “McG,” who also directed the “Charlie’s Angels” movies. That says it all.
For the record, I’m very familiar with the Marshall story. I’ve been to the Marshall campus, and was shown on ESPN standing on its football field to give bowl game baseball hats to the Marshall Football team, including then-quarterback Chad Pennington. (I was on the board of the NCAA Motor City Bowl, and the MAC champion plays in the bowl game. Several times, that was Marshall.) I doubt these guys will like this sappy sacharine.
Not one of the great football films. Not even close.

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3 Responses

Movies I cried watching (I’m manly):
Brian’s Song (Original)
The Man in the Moon (Reese Witherspoon), okay this one isnt very manly but it got me.
I’ve cried watching a few war documentaries. Tough old guys breaking down always gets me.
I didnt cry during 9/11, just got really, really pissed off. Still do.
Thats about it that I can recall, other than personal tragedies and funerals.

dll2000 on December 14, 2006 at 4:01 pm

There arent really any great football films. I think writers and directors cant relate to the sport and what it really means to people.
Coaches are always crazy and dont care about the players, QB’s always skinny and wimpy, there is no proper illustration of the physical and time sacrifice involved in a successful football team, players are all given favorable treatment by teachers and the community and get away with murder, they are usually rapists. The communities that embrace football are sneered at as being hicks, hillbillies and drunks who lack proper priorities.
For many young boys in this country football is the first time in their lives that they are experience what work is, the first time in their lives that they hear the phrase “suck it up” after getting hurt, the time when they are seperated from their mommies and start to become men. They are outside practicing for 2-3 hours a day in the boiling heat and the freezing cold, running and banging heads and getting yelled at. All the while their peers are at home playing X-Box.
Its one of the last bastions against the major feminization of this country.

dll2000 on December 14, 2006 at 4:15 pm

Chad said he liked the movie when he reviewed it for his blog.

JAT on December 20, 2006 at 3:58 pm

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