December 14, 2006, - 2:32 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
Some producer of Damsel-in-Distress Movies of the Week for Lifetime must have insisted on inserting him/herself into a sports movie. Because that’s what “We Are Marshall” seemed like to me: “Lifetime Does Brian’s Song.”
While I’m prohibited from reviewing the movie until it’s released next week, I can tell you this: I’ve never seen more men crying repeatedly in one venue than on the screen during this movie.
This isn’t a sports movie or a football movie. It’s a Lifetime chick-flick melodrama with shoulder pads and jerseys thrown in as hapless accessories. It’s so overwrought and filled with sobbing, that I think Terry Bradshaw would feel right at home with his anti-depressants.
For the rest of America’s guys: stay away. “We Are Marshall” = We Are Girlie-Men. This is not a good tribute to the Marshall players who died in the plane crash. They’re probably turning over in their graves (and trying not to drown from the rivers of tears that are flooding the coffins). It’s no surprise that the movie was directed by “McG,” who also directed the “Charlie’s Angels” movies. That says it all.
For the record, I’m very familiar with the Marshall story. I’ve been to the Marshall campus, and was shown on ESPN standing on its football field to give bowl game baseball hats to the Marshall Football team, including then-quarterback Chad Pennington. (I was on the board of the NCAA Motor City Bowl, and the MAC champion plays in the bowl game. Several times, that was Marshall.) I doubt these guys will like this sappy sacharine.
Not one of the great football films. Not even close.
Tags: America, baseball, Chad Pennington, Charlie's Angels, Debbie Schlussel, football, Marshall, Marshall campus, McG, Quarterback, Some producer, sports movie, Terry Bradshaw, We Are Marshall