January 5, 2007, - 12:05 pm

The Candy Desk: The Cheap, Mooching Millionaires of the U.S. Senate Seek Free Sweets

By Debbie Schlussel
The front page of today’s Wall Street Journal bears an extensive article about how U.S. Senators are trying to figure out a way to get free candy. Really. I’m not kidding.
The story is about “The Candy Desk,” the desk on the floor of the U.S. Senate that belonged to defeated Senator Republican Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania. It is close to the door of the Senate chamber, and Santorum–being from the state of Hershey–got free candy from the Hershey Company and Just Born, Inc. (maker of Hot Tamales and Peanut Chews).
His desk was filled with candy, and the cheap millionaires of the Senate would always raid the desk for the candy. This is apparently a tradition begun by the late Senator George Murphy, in 1965, according to the U.S. Senate’s official website (WSJ reporter Sarah Lueck was in error, reporting it was 1968–but her article is very insightful regarding the absurdities of Senate moochers).

candydesk.jpg

The Candy Desk:

Symbol of U.S. Senate’s Mooching, Gluttonous, Cheapskate Ways

But, now, since Santorum’s gone, Senators are controlled by ethics rules barring U.S. Senators from getting more than $100 in free gifts from others. Since Santorum was from Pennsylvania, he fell under an exception to the rule, which allows Senators to exceed the dollar limit for products produced in their home states.
New Pennsylvania Senator Casey’s desk is too close to the middle of the Senate floor to allow him to have the candy desk. The new occupant, Republican Senator Craig Thomas of Wyoming. And his candy-selling constituents can’t afford to send the 400 pounds of free candy per year that Santorum got from Hershey et al, which was consumed by fat and happy (and apparently cheap) U.S. Senators. (100 gluttonous U.S. Senators consumed the equivalent of 38,000 Hershey’s kisses a year–or 3,800 kisses each.)
Two-thirds of the U.S. Senate are millionaires. They all make about $160,000 per year and get allowances for cars, gas, travel, a free office, and office staff.
And these people need free candy?! Come on. That they are spending so much time and energy to figure out how to get free candy–so much so that it’s a Wall Street Journal front-pager–should tell you a lot about why they never get anything good done, why they are out of touch with America on big issues like immigration, and why America is in trouble.
Yes, America. You’re country is being run by cheap, mooching millionaires wasting a lot of time figuring out how to get free candy.
Candy Desk for Elected Candy Asses.

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Print Friendly



Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

7 Responses

Who paid for Reagan’s jelly beans?

EminemsRevenge on January 5, 2007 at 1:59 pm

I love Hershey bars, especially if they are free.
I have to ask my Congressmen to bring me some.
And I think I’m going to lobby for Hershey. They need to open a “Candy Desk” in my State’s Senate.
Now that we have a woman in charge of the House of Representatives, can I get free sanitary napkins for the females of my family?

Independent Conservative on January 5, 2007 at 2:20 pm

Well . . . living in Wyoming gives us other options instead of candy. Wyoming has agriculture as one of it’s prime industries. The animals we ranchers raise do a grand job of creating piles of brown stuff. I wonder . . . where would they put that desk!??!!
On the other hand – none of the Senators need any freebies – doesn’t help them work better on our behalf now does it?!!

NDA96 on January 5, 2007 at 2:38 pm

Dear Independent Conservative:
I don’t think you’ll be seeing any free sanitary napkins in the mail but now that the “Pelosi-Palooza” has taken center stage, I’m sure there’ll be plenty of free condoms, birth control advice, and shuttle service to the nearest abortion clinic (without the parents’ consent) and other depraved acts of social lunacy which are the trademarks of the Democrats.

Gunny on January 5, 2007 at 2:40 pm

>>Dear Independent Conservative:
I don’t think you’ll be seeing any free sanitary napkins in the mail but now that the “Pelosi-Palooza” has taken center stage, I’m sure there’ll be plenty of free condoms, birth control advice, and shuttle service to the nearest abortion clinic (without the parents’ consent) and other depraved acts of social lunacy which are the trademarks of the Democrats.<< -Gunny
————————————————-
Damn! I’ll get all that and no sanitary napkins???
I thought sanitary napkins were one of Pelosi’s priorities. I thought that’s what she meant by “cleaning” of the House.
Oh well, we’ll have to wait when Hairy Clit’On becomes president. Then we can ask for sanitary napkins and douche bags.

Independent Conservative on January 5, 2007 at 3:12 pm

Liquor is quicker. Check out the desks of the distinguished representatives of the states of Tennessee and Kentucky.
Speaking of which, doesn’t Pelosi own a hugh California vineyard?

Shy Guy on January 7, 2007 at 4:56 am

“Liquor is quicker. Check out the desks of the distinguished representatives of the states of Tennessee and Kentucky.”
I guess Ted Kennedy ran for his seat in the wrong state!

WillPower on January 8, 2007 at 3:12 am

Leave a Reply

* denotes required field