December 24, 2010, - 3:46 pm

Wknd Box Office: The King’s Speech, Gulliver’s Travels, I Love You Phillip Morris

By Debbie Schlussel

The only new movie I can recommend this weekend is “The King’s Speech.”  And there’s also the terrific “True Grit,” which opened on Wednesday (read my review).

*  “The King’s Speech“:  Read my full review.  The best movie of the 2010.  A masterpiece about King George VI of England and how he overcomes his stutter to rally the people of Great Britain behind the Allies’ efforts against the Nazis in World War II.  Also, a great tale about the friendship of men of class and dignity, regardless of their stature in life.  Again, read my complete review.
FOUR REAGANS PLUS
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Watch the trailer . . .

*  “Gulliver’s Travels“:  The best–and only–good part of this movie was the very cute animated short at the beginning.  Hollywood–in this case, Twentieth Century Fox a/k/a Rupert Murdoch and Prince Al-Waleed Bin Talal–ruined yet another classic and dumbed it down to make American kids and future generations even dumber.  Thanks, Jack Black (who stars and exec produces).  If I had kids, I would not take them to see this 3D dreck.  Instead, I’d buy them copies of the original Jonathan Swift novel.  It was a social commentary, not a stupid comedy full of dumb pop songs and stupid anti-war routines for kids. Swift is likely turning over in his grave.

The only thing that remains of the original is the name of the protagonist, Lemuel Gulliver.  But his character is now a moron slacker idiot, played by Jack Black, a loser in the mail room of a magazine.  (Hey, in the age of the internet, do they still have mail rooms and magazines?)  Gulliver desperately wants to date the travel editor (Amanda Peet), but for ten years, instead of making a move, he pines for her and never advances beyond delivering the company mail.  After a new hire becomes his boos in a day, he ends up trying to ask Peet out, but instead mumbles his way into writing a travel piece, after plagiarizing samples off the internet.  Soon, he finds himself in a mysterious island in the Bermuda Triangle, an island of little people, where he’s the giant, and soon the “magical ruler,” giving others dating tips (using Prince song lyrics), corrupting the princess, turning the island into a mini-Times Square, and charming everyone with dumb words, like “condish” (condition).

Not cute, not funny, not charming.  Not for your kids.  Oh, and that dumb anti-war number at the end, in which the Liliputian soldiers and their enemies since, “War, what is is good for?” . . . well, that’s kinda the same question I’d ask about this movie.  Jack Black’s “Gulliver’s Travels,” what is it good for?

Absolutely nothing . . . except filling Black’s bank account and draining yours by at least ten bucks and 1.5 hours.  The next time you think Rupert Murdoch is great for America, ask yourself what’s great about garbage like this?

FOUR MARXES PLUS AN OBAMA PLUS A BIN LADEN
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Watch the trailer . . .

*  “I Love You Phillip Morris“:  Yuck.  Jim Carrey plays a married religious Christian Texas police officer, who is rejected by his birth mother.  Then, he comes out of the closet as a gay man, then becomes a criminal con man and repeatedly breaks himself out of prison to show his love for another gay man he meets in prison, Phillip Morris (Ewan McGregor).  He repeatedly impersonates a lawyer, an accountant, and a dying AIDS patient, conning his way out of the big house and into big money.  And the point is . . .?  Couldn’t tell ya, other than to show us Jim Carrey repeatedly making out with and having sex with other men in prison, etc. and seeming to love it too much, in a role I always imagined he was perfect for (gay).

Otherwise, it’s sad, depressing, and a waste of time.  No thanks.  Next . . . .

FOUR MARXES PLUS AN OBAMA PLUS A BIN LADEN
karlmarxmovies.jpgkarlmarxmovies.jpgkarlmarxmovies.jpgkarlmarxmovies.jpgplus.jpgobamasmilingsmallerplus.jpgbinladensmaller

Watch the trailer . . .

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14 Responses

Yuck!!!! Horrible. I’ll never be able to watch a Jim Carrey movie again.

Ed on December 24, 2010 at 3:59 pm

Skipworthy to the max.

The only holiday movie worth paying the ten bucks tp see is “The King’s Speech.”

You heard it on this site and you’ll hear it nowhere else.

NormanF on December 24, 2010 at 4:57 pm

Skipworthy to the max.

The only holiday movie worth paying the ten bucks to see is “The King’s Speech.”

You heard it on this site and you’ll hear it nowhere else.

NormanF on December 24, 2010 at 4:58 pm

I get that for movies that are really AWFUL, four Marxes just won’t cut it, but could the “additional” rating be a bit more relevant to the trashy movie?

Anti-War movies, or movies showing that we’re no better than the “misunderstood” terrorist-supporting Muslims would logically have a Bin Laden rating.

Race baiting movies showing all white people as the devil totally deserve a Whoopi Goldberg or an Al Sharpton.

Feminazi flicks score Friedans, no?

But if you really hated Phillip Morris, how about 4 Marxes and a Liberace? 4 Marxes and a fairy?

Robert on December 25, 2010 at 2:44 am

I Love you Phillip Morris sounds like the usual Hollywood conformity passing itself off as edgy. The only stereotype that is not thrown in is the warmongering general with a cocaine habit who collects Third Reich memorabilia.

worry01 on December 25, 2010 at 8:24 am

    Don’t forget, the General must also be a closeted gay.

    DavidJ on December 26, 2010 at 10:07 pm

Thanks Debbie for these reviews. Good to know the filth horrorwood is spitting out still digusts well-thinking people. I miss the time we’d beat up a fag till he choked on his blood. Lol. Disgusting how far we’ve come that faggots are now seen as ‘normal’. We need to set an example for our children.

Debbie_Fan on December 25, 2010 at 12:50 pm

I will never respect the British again after reading “The Secret War Against the Jews” By John Loftus and Mark Aarons. They were anti-Semitic to the core – and still are.. They sold the Jews out with the agreement they and the American’s made at the conference in Bermuda. What was the agreement they made? To “Take no action” in regard to the slaughter of Jews in Europe. Why? They sacrificed Jews to the war effort and because they wanted no Jewish immigration to America, England or Canada.
I’m disgusted with this romanticist take of WWII. Jews were betrayed and now after years of pogrom after pogrom and the gas chambers – comeuppance has come for the anti-Semites of Europe. Did they forget, ” Those who bless Israel are blessed and those who curse Israel are cursed?” I spit on them and have no pity for them. Read the book and you will know how I feel. Who gives a sh*t if the king hasa a effing stutter. May they all rot in hell …

M: John Loftus has long been exposed as a fraud, a liar, a conspiracy theorist, a 9/11 Truther, and a con artist. Please wake up to this phony and his “books,” which aren’t based in fact.
http://www.debbieschlussel.com/1022/saddam-tapes-or-not-i-wont-be-the-intelligence-summit-heres-why-cias-woolsey-deutch-cancel-too/
DS

moriah on December 25, 2010 at 10:44 pm

There is already a wonderful version of Gulliver’s Travels (1996) starring Ted Danson which can be streamed by anyone who belongs to Netflix. It is so faithful to the original work that it includes all six of the original voyages as well as a great deal of Swift’s sophisticated social commentary. I highly recommend it. It’s a great example of a classic being beautifully adapted.

As for the Jack Black film, I did not expect a faithful adaptation, and I didn’t get it. I did generally think, though, that the movie was cute, and I especially liked the English humor between princess Emily Blunt and her ridiculous suitor. 99% of the film, it seemed to me, was conservative or neutral (even if admittedly juvenile). That’s why the liberal anti-war song at the very close disappointed me.

I also saw I Love You Philip Morris. A recent study showed that liberals prefer TV programs about psychologically warped sociopaths (such as Dexter), and this film was catnip to that crowd. Or call it Catch Me If You Can for liberals, since Carrey plays a slick impostor whose moral shortcomings are supposed to make us (if we’re liberals) vicariously tingle with joy. I have to admit it was hard to sit through two hours of graphic intimacy between males, slams of Christian “hypocrisy,” and fawning admiration for a main character who continually lies, cheats, scams and betrays trusts for his own advantage, but it was all worth it for the chuckle I got at the end of the movie when information was conveyed on the screen that it was all Bush’s and Texas’s fault. Now that was funny.

I also saw the just released Casino Jack, a virulent attack against conservative Jews. It made the two movies Capitalism: A Love Story and Solondz’s recent Life During Wartime seem tame by comparison.

B: As someone (me) who knew and never liked the sleazy Jack Abramoff, who pandered to and represented extremist Muslims and cut illegal deals with Islamo-fascist Grover Norquist, it’s a huge stretch to say at all that “Casino Jack” is a slam on conservative Jews, unless you believe that all conservative Jews are like that (which the movie doesn’t imply), and I know you don’t think that. On the other hand, as I watched it, I certainly didn’t believe they’d make a movie like this about a Muslim, and if they did, his devout Islamic beliefs would be whitewashed out of the script. However, if anything, the movie soft-pedaled his crimes and lies (and his knowledge about the hit on Gus Boulos.) Jack Abramoff wasn’t at all about conservatism and his Judaism was total BS, especially given what he was really about. He was about ripping people off and whoring himself and his “services” out to whoever paid him millions. He was a huge sleazebag, about whom I warned many conservatives over the years, but they ignored me, so if it’s a slam on them, it’s deserved. Sadly, it’s too light and soft on them and on Jack Abramoff who did far too little time (and Grover did no time at all, sadly, and is still an admired and pandered to figure in the conservative world). It was a bad movie because it was boring, soft, and got most stuff wrong. But anything anti-Semitic was bred by this embarrassment to religious Jews like me, named Jack Abramoff. DS

Burke on December 25, 2010 at 11:10 pm

After a new hire becomes his boos in a day

I think you mean “his boss.” Otherwise, a great review, thanks, shavuah tov.

Miranda Rose Smith on December 26, 2010 at 4:29 am

Are there any in-jokes in I LOVE YOU, PHILLIP MORRIS about Phillip Morris Tobacco?

Miranda Rose Smith on December 26, 2010 at 5:06 am

Why do you not have kids that’s the saddest thing I read today
have kids i will say a prayer now that you, the Great Debbie Schlussel who is so amazing will be blessed with a lot of kids well maybe you’re not into it . . . this will cost me all my heart and i always pay.

Serge Lauper on December 28, 2010 at 1:46 am

I have no desire to see a movie about some privileged twit with a speech problem. Churchill was the hero of WWII, not the accidental King. And I don’t need a book to tell me that he didn’t lift a finger to help the Jews and was most likely an anti-Semite. No way is that movie better than The Social Network, about someone who made it without being born to royalty.

Ann on January 2, 2011 at 10:56 pm

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