January 24, 2011, - 10:45 am
Safe? Air Marshal Too Busy Picking Up Owen Wilson to Protect Plane
Federal Air Marshals are livid, and they’ve contacted me regarding this story that puts them in a bad light. One of their own was busy–on the taxpayer dime–picking up Owen Wilson, instead of protecting the plane. And it worked . . . for her. Federal Air Marshal Jade Duell just had Owen Wilson’s baby. Cha-ching!
Federal Air Marshal/Baby Mama Jade Duell Too Busy Having Fun w/ Owen Wilson to Keep Plane Safe
Owen met Jade Duell, a U.S. air marshal, while en route to film How Do You Know with Reese Witherspoon last year on a flight from L.A. to Washington, D.C.
Several Federal Air Marshals told me it’s against the rules to get celebrities’ phone numbers and try to pick up passengers . . . while they are supposed to be protecting the plane from Islamic terrorists. Jade Duell wasn’t put in First Class, courtesy of the federal government, to find a famous boyfriend who can pay gargantuan child support and make her set for life. She was in First Class to look for suspicious people trying to endanger the plane and use it as a weapon.
Said one Federal Air Marshal:
Screw being a Senior Federal Air Marshal …. I’m gonna find me a mooooovie star!
As the Air Marshals told me, male Federal Air Marshals would never get away with this. They’d lose their jobs. But Duell, a female and apparently Asian, is a “minority” on two counts. And they believe she is getting special treatment, all while their reputations as vigilant security on flights is being dragged through the mud in entertainment media story after story about Duell having met Wilson in First Class while she was supposed to be protecting a plane. A Federal Air Marshal notes:
If this was one of us (a dude), we would be shown the door so fast it might cause a black hole due to appear.
And the Air Marshals have a point. As you’ll recall, a few years ago, I wrote about a male Federal Air Marshal who was a fan of the ABC anti-male yenta hag-fest, “The View” (that should have been enough to take away his man-card . . . and his FAM badge). He gave his name and real job identity to Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Joy Behar, even though he knew they are airhead blabbermouths who wouldn’t use discretion. That very day, Hasselbeck blabbed his name, cover story, seat location, and flight on national TV. After I wrote about it, that Air Marshal was investigated by his agency. For now, there’s nothing happening to Duell for her obvious indiscretion.
I have my doubts about the effectiveness of female Federal Air Marshals to begin with. They aren’t strong, and can’t hold down a terrorist.
And, now, we know they are just simply too busy trying to get in the pants of–and get a payday from–the movie star in seat 1B. Memo to Jade Duell and other female Federal Air Marshals: your job is to guard the plane, not Owen Wilson. Your job is to guard the cockpit, not Owen Wilson’s . . . well, you get the point.
We have enough reason to know we’re less safe in the skies than we were before 9/11. Now, we’ll have to worry about the Federal Air Marshal–if there is even one on the plane–and whether she’s looking for the suspicious eyes of evil-doers or too busy looking into the eyes of Owen Wilson.

Tags: Baby mama, babymama, FAMS, federal air marshal, Federal Air Marshal Service, Jade Duell, Owen Wilson
John Q, it sounds like you did not fully understand the blog entry, or you are just doing a poorly conceived defense of Jade for personal reasons. If the latter, that is kind of you to try. If the former, keep in mind that the point of the blog entry is that FAMs themselves are critical of the behavior of FAMs who hook up with celebrities, and that the particulars of this case and the family’s exposing the case in the tabloids brought up a number of other violations of policy including relationships between FAMs and so on. It would be inappropriate to characterize this particular FAM as an “unsung hero” in any way. FAMs who do their jobs and follow their code of conduct are of course unsung heroes, just not this particular FAM. I wouldn’t be too worried about her, it sounds like she is getting everything she wanted out of the situation, and it sounds like her family will be taken care of in fine style as well. Bringing up 9/11 is laughable hyperbole considering all the FAMs who are doing their jobs with excellence every day, and have been since 9/11 and the advent of TSA; these good FAMS the very same FAMs who encouraged this blog entry exposing unprofessional FAMs to be written.
Mark on January 30, 2011 at 11:53 pm