July 31, 2008, - 3:28 pm

Do the Math: ICE’s Dumb Illegal Alien “Self-Deportation” Plan – Select Aliens Have Only 1 in 20 Chance of Being Caught

By Debbie Schlussel
They say that people who become lawyers are those who were bad in math and science. And Julie Myers a/k/a “The ICE Princess”, an incompetent lawyer and even more incompetent head of our nation’s immigration enforcement agency, is Exhibit A of that.
Yesterday, The ICE Princess–the airhead chieftess of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE)–went on Spanish TV (but not Arabic or Islamic TV, like, say, Al-Jazeera) and announced a new “voluntary, self-deportation” program with a name as stupid as the idea: “Operation Scheduled Departure.”
The only Operation Scheduled Departure that I look forward to is the date Ms. Blackface Expert leaves ICE (sadly, on that day, her incompetent high school grad temporary replacement, John Torres, takes over–sleep with him and you’ll move up quickly).

illegalaliens.jpgjuliemyersdietcoke.jpg

(Julie Myers Diet Coke by David Lunde/Lundesigns)

If illegal aliens do the math, they won’t participate in this ICE program, which allows illegal aliens with final deportation orders to voluntarily leave the country, without ICE arresting and picking them up. Don’t we already have laws on the books that say, de facto, “leave before we catch you”?
And here’s the thing. There are 550,000 illegal aliens who have received final orders of deportation and who don’t have criminal records. Right now there are 31,000 illegal aliens who’ve been rounded up and remain in ICE detention facilities.
If ICE can only locate and detain 31,000 of the 550,000, that means if you are an illegal alien on the loose with a final deportation order, you only have an 5.6% chance of being detained. And that’s being liberal. Illegal aliens probably have an even lesser chance of being picked up by one of ICE’s 84 fugitive teams.
With the 5.6% chance, that means ICE will only round up only 1 of every twenty illegal aliens with a final deportation order. If I’m an illegal alien in America with a final deportation order, I like my odds–A LOT!–and I’m not going to voluntarily leave . . . even if an airhead Blackface expert Valley Girl, who will be out of a job before I lose my meatpacking job, tells me I should.
The ICE Princess can’t do the math. But illegal aliens can, and I predict few will turn themselves in for “voluntary, self-deportation.”
I am, however, for the voluntary, self-deportation of Julie L. Myers.

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4 Responses

We have private corporations running a few schools & doing some of the work in Iraq. Why don’t we try a sample program of having private corporations round up illegal aliens; they can compete with ICE, like there is public/private competition in other areas in DoD and other agencies. Whoever does better will get the funding. Can’t be worse than what is happening now.

c f on July 31, 2008 at 10:57 pm

…So how many ‘acting’ supervisors are in your sacdom? Seems like management knows something we don’t. They are all bailing and leaving the dysfunctional agency to implode on itself.

q2thecore on July 31, 2008 at 11:11 pm

You have some good points cf. However, a group called the “Minutemen” was just watching, and doing it for nothing. These patriotic Americans were vilified and called “Vigilantes,” “Racists,” etc.
You’re right about a private posse rounding up illegals would work better than “Homeland Security.” But, to ensure they NEVER see daylight or the 40+mil illegals that are hidden out, HS have their heads purposely stuck up the “National Chamber of Commerce’s” arses.
I’ll stop here.

Jackson Pearson on August 1, 2008 at 2:13 am

This is the dumbest plan I ever heard of. Probably thunk up by Tracy Lembke.

sanantonioins on August 2, 2008 at 2:30 pm

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