October 28, 2008, - 1:53 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
Remember Bono? He’s the guy who paid $1,700 to fly his favorite hat–yes, really, his hat!–First Class to a concert he played in Iraq in 2003.
Now, the U2 lead singer has been hired by the New York Times to lecture us in op-ed columns on topics like Africa and poverty.
Yeah, we really need a guy who wears $5,000 Chanel sunglasses, lives high on the hog, and wastes money to fly his hat First Class to lecture us about poverty. Just like we needed him to tell us–along with his stooge, fellow hypocrite, Mr. Angelina Jolie a/k/a Brad Pitt–that we, the American taxpayers are stingy and don’t give enough to charity.
Just like we needed Bono to tell us that we Americans should forgive trillions of dollars in debt owed to us by countries like Terrorist State Sudan (which hosted Bin Laden for years while he planned our destruction and blew up our embassies). This is all despite the fact that financial statistics consistently show that America is the most generous country there is and that American citizens, on average are more generous than anyone in the world.
I’ve had more than enough of limousine, private jet liberals–especially wasteful celebrity hypocrites–telling hard-working Americans how their money must be spent.
Sadly, Bono was courted by not just the Clintons but every high-ranking member of the Bush Administration, including the star-struck President, himself. They, Jesse Helms, and pseudo-conservative Laura Ingraham–also star-struck–repeatedly slobbered and gushed over this fraud in rose-colored (in his case, literally) glasses.
Here’s a quote Ingraham features on her website:
Ingraham is smart to see the value in talking about global and national issues with [U2's frontman Bono] who is, not only in the spotlight, but has the respect and admiration of so many listeners.
Bush, with Bono by his side, announced he was forgiving a good deal of American taxpayer money owed by Terrorist Sudan and other countries ruled by despots.
Yes, faux-conservatives like Bush and Ingraham–not liberals–legitimized left-wing phony Bono, which led him on the path to this new gig.
Would love to read an op-ed by Bono about how and why he doesn’t pay a dime of taxes in his native Ireland (under a tax break for artists and entertainers), and why he feels people who actually do pay their share here in America should pay for him to feel good in his has-been days.
I’d love to hear in an op-ed why Bono employed a convicted IRA terrorist as his bodyguard, or why–if he’s so concerned about the poor and downtrodden–right after the 9/11 attacks, he and U2 skipped a scheduled concert performance to raise money for the familes of fallen heroes’ and victims’ families, but then showed up to a paid gig at Madison Square Garden, lecturing concertgoers to have “empathy for Muslims. They go to church, too.” Really? And I thought it was a mosque. But what do I know?
More recently, Bono shilled for Gitmo Islamic terrorist David Hicks who worked for the Taliban pleaded guilty to trying to murder American soldiers in Afghanistan.
I’d also like to know why he–if he’s so concerned about the downtrodden–he pursued an extensive lawsuit against a destitute former assistant to get $5,000 in clothes he gave her twenty years ago.
Since his American concert tours are among the most successful in recent years, grossing upwards of $260 million, maybe he’ll write about just how much of that he, himself, gives to charity, instead of constantly schnoring [Yiddish for "mooching"] from America and calling them “stingy” and “cheap”.
Bono’s “Red” campaign to raise money for debt forgiveness and AIDS relief in Africa–with all of its fanfare on Oprah, at The Gap, and elsewhere–was a huge failure, just like his wife’s eco-friendly clothing line, Edun, is. I predict the third strike with his hypocrisy in print on the pages of the New York Fishwrap. Sadly, unlike in baseball, the three strikes won’t mean he’s out.
What’s next–the New York Times inviting Elizabeth Taylor and Baba Wawa to give us tips on how to have a successful marriage? Maybe George Michael and Clay Aiken can write about what it’s like to be a heterosexual on the pages of the “Newspaper of Record,” too.
I have an even better idea: Jeffrey Dahmer can arise from the dead and write the New York Times food column.
I repeatedly come back to the one-time quote from Kiss’ Gene Simmons a/k/a Chaim Witz, who unfortunately doesn’t take his own advice:
We don’t comment on whales and the rain forest. We don’t try to be ambassadors to Bosnia. Duh. You need a rock star for that? Some idiot who couldn’t tune a guitar six months ago is now an environmental specialist? I blame media for giving rock stars more credence than they deserve. Why don’t they ask Al Gore how to play bass?
Read some of my previous columns and posts on Bono:
* “Bush’s Absurd Rock Star Advisor”
* “Questions for Bono”
* “Not a Good Samaritan: TIME’s Phony Person of the Year”
* “Pop’s Bono Shills for Gitmo Terrorist”
* “Bono: Lawsuit Proves He’s Stingy, Petty (When It’s HIS Own Money)”