May 22, 2009, - 12:03 am

Puh-leeze: Gay-Esque Dude Didn’t Lose “American Idol” b/c He’s Gay-Esque

By Debbie Schlussel
For the record, no, I do not watch that karaoke TV money machine otherwise known as “American Idol.” It’s a boring show complete with annoying profiles of people we’ll never ever see or hear from again and vapid, droning opinions by several judges, plus Simon. Yes, the only realist–Simon–was once worth watching, but even that is old and predictable. I watched the show the first season, when it debuted as summer filler, and frankly, that’s where it should have remained. It’s not any better than that. Once it became popular, it was no longer cool, just empty and trendy. Stick a fork in it. It’s done.
That said, the big controversy of the day over that show is ridiculous. I refer to the whining that Adam Lambert–the favorite to win the show–lost because he’s gay-esque and America is prejudiced against gays. I have to say “gay-esque” because even though he’s part of the Three Muthketeerth with George Michael and Elton John (and their guardian angels Liberace and Paul Lynde), we’re not allowed to admit we know he’s gay because he hasn’t come out officially (despite a gazillion photos of clearly gay activity).


Adam Lambert Lost to Underdog Kris Allen on “American Idol”

Yes, the flamboyant, effeminate, eye-liner and shimmer wearing Lambert was by far the superior singer to Kris Allen, the next nobody-to-not-become-a-somebody who won “American Idol.” There is no comparison in the quality and range of singing voices.
But the reason Lambert didn’t win is not because he’s a girly-man. That is just so much manufactured fiction. “American Idol” voters–the kind of voter you want far away from your ballot box in real American elections–are a gay-friendly type of crowd. They tend to be younger and have been raised to appreciate the value of lavender and pink, RuPaul videos, and two guys doing the tango at their wedding.
Lambert lost because for weeks–even if, like me, you couldn’t care less about the show–you couldn’t avoid media declarations and the pronouncements of all the annoying AI judges that Lambert is the winner. He was already anointed.
And, as much as we are so often sheep, Americans don’t like being told what to do (unless the person doing it is a biracial guy from Chicago and Hawaii by way of Kenya). They don’t like to go with conventional wisdom and coronations. They like to rebel against that.
And they rebelled against being told this guy–fruity pebble or not–was already their king and they should bow down. And Americans like underdogs, like Allen.
That’s why the guy–Lambert–lost. Not because America rejects gays. If you’re a good singer, we really don’t care what you do behind closed doors and with whom you do it. And we don’t wanna know (although with Lambert, it’s kinda in your face).
Now if Adam Lambert was on “Arab Idol,” well, then that would be a different story. And he’d be dead . . . or someone’s pet camel replacement of the week.

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12 Responses

As you don’t watch the show, I’ll add another reason why Adam didn’t win: he didn’t rock us out with his chosen song on that last night. Instead he chose “Mad World” which, while very good, was not what endeared everyone to him in the first place. He should have sung the Led Zepplin song.

Nathan Will Sheets on May 22, 2009 at 2:24 am

Pretty good assessment…
The Orthodox Jewish American ex-pat grandmothers kvelled all over him and will be disappointed when Israel airs the results Sat. night.
They dealt with his “proclivities” the same way you do,…sort of…
“So, what? He might not make anyone a grandmother anytime soon, but the boy can sing…”
…and they promptly adopted him.

Ben-Yehudah on May 22, 2009 at 4:20 am

Yesterday, some Hollywood stars were Twittering their messages, bemoaning the loss of Adam Lambert. One of them is Adrianne Curry who just called middle Americans a bunch of “f**king homophobes”. Classy statement from a nobody actress (she married to that Peter guy from the Brady Bunch).

Bobby's Brain on May 22, 2009 at 10:26 am

It is really simple…When Adam was bad he was AWFUL,Terrible, Horrible…you get the point.Take a listen to Ring Of Fire…God Awful…My dog Howled and My ears bled. Kris, on the other hand, never was that bad. His misses were just not that good.Not great…That is the difference. Adam took a couple of big risks and they did not pay off. Kris tended to play it safer. Also Danny Gokey fans probably switched to Kris,not because Adam was GAY,but because Kris was closer in singing style and personality to their favorite,Danny.

bnab on May 22, 2009 at 10:51 am

Right on Sister! I am getting sick and tired of this gay-ness thing being crammed down our throats! I agree Adam lost because the votes that were supposed to go to Danny Gokey went to Kris. IA is supposed to be a singing contest but just like any other contest where the votes come from the young turns into a popularity contest,,,not how good you sing. I doubt Adam suffered anything from coming in No.2. He’ll still get a record contract and be as popular as Chris Daughtry.

redrose on May 22, 2009 at 11:26 am

Once again, another “victim.”
QUICK! Somebody call a waaambulance

SamAdams on May 22, 2009 at 1:30 pm

Maybe Barney Frank can bail him out!

ScottyDog on May 22, 2009 at 2:53 pm

For someone who didn’t watch, Debbie, I’d say you have it nailed, again. Right on.
I think Lambert will become a very famous person–more than any previous AI contestant ever has or will.
I’m no fan of gay-ness, but like, Freddy Mercury, with whom I’v heard Adam is often compared to, you cannot deny this level of talent/giftedness!

BB on May 22, 2009 at 3:24 pm

The HOMOSEXUAL community….err KU KLUX KWEERS, will always say that the world is out to get them. I really don’t care who won but seeing the reaction of the modern day KKK always astonishes me. Everyone is ‘homophobic’ they claim. No we are homo-nauseous. We don’t fear HOMOSEXUALS we get nauseous about their behavior.

californiascreaming on May 22, 2009 at 5:04 pm

After viewing the pictures of Adam French Kissing another male, my skin began to crawl.I will never be able to seperate the singer from those photos on the net.
Yes, they were nauseous and I could understand anyone not wanting him to be the Amerian Idol based on those disgusting photos on the link.

ScottyDog on May 22, 2009 at 8:40 pm

I Admit it….. I voted against Adam because he is fairy dust.==== Now off to Homo-Phobic rehab for me. They have ways of dealing with anti-social, evil haters who won’t kiss the Liberace ring. I am also president of the air-head Miss California fan club. Keith Olbermann is quite a handsome dude I have to admit though. I think it’s those sexy Clark Kent glasses that turn me on.

Juggler on May 23, 2009 at 7:33 am

A few things to deal with here…
1) Juggler–Y’AIN’T FUNNY even if it is sarcasm
2) My mom watches Idol–I HAVE TO MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE!
3) It’s interesting Deb you mention Paul Lynde (Greatest Center Square ever). My monopoly cable company just added Boomerang, the retro-toon channel from Cartoon Network. As I am typing this I am watching The Perils of Penelope Pitstop where Lynde was the voice of…THE HOODED CLAW!
4) It’s time to tell queer nation–STEP OFF OR GETS AIDS AND DIE! Savage is right when he calls AIDS a behavioral disease, since blood is screened (supposedly) for HIV.

NEPatriot on May 23, 2009 at 8:41 am

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