July 23, 2009, - 3:17 pm

Continental Airlines Apologizes to Muslim Oompa Loompa Lookalike for Making Him Go Through Security

By Debbie Schlussel
If you’re traveling abroad. It might not be a good idea to fly Continental Airlines on the way home to the West.
You see, Continental has decided to abide by India’s absurd policy of mandating that “specified VIPS” are “exempt” from security, including removing shoes, being wanded, etc. And apparently, that includes some Muslims. You might be wondering why the airline and a foreign government get to decide this and not the U.S. government. After all, this regards flights heading to the U.S. and which will, therefore, be in U.S. airspace . . . just like the planes on 9/11. But apparently, for flights originating elsewhere, it’s out of TSA control and in the hands of the airline.
That’s scary, given that we know planes coming into the U.S. are every bit as vulnerable to terrorist plots as those originating here. Remember the Shoe Bomber (who came here from France)?

oompaloompa.jpgabdulkalam.jpg

Muslim Oompa Loompa Lookalike A. P. J. Abdul Kalam

Outraged He Got Wanded By Continental Airline

India’s “exempt specified VIP” list was brought to light as Continental apologized yesterday to Oompa Loompa lookalike A. P. J. Abdul Kalam, a Muslim and India’s former President. You see, Mr. Loompa . . .er, Kalam, is upset because

former President A.P.J. Abdul Kalam was told to remove his shoes and scanned by a metal detector. . . .
The former president was told to remove his shoes and the contents of his pockets, and a hand-held metal detector was run over his body.

Oh, the horror. Mr. Kalam’s fellow co-religionists blow up our planes and murder 3,000 Americans, and yet only we–and not him–should be subject to the increased hassles his fellow worshippers of Mohammed caused for us.
And India–which you’d think would get a clue after the Mumbai attacks–lodged a protest against Continental, claiming the search violates its laws and that the man is 77. Ah, welcome to America, where little old ladies from Pasadena who aren’t Muslims are searched for more invasively at age 80.
At first, the airline defended itself and these normal security procedures and said there was “no special rule for VIPs.” But all that has changed, and Continental has put on its best pander dancing shoes. Terrorists, take note, and pick a top Muslim VIP for the next India to New York Continental flight.

Continental Airlines Inc. has apologized to a former Indian president after he was frisked before boarding a flight to New York in April, a breach of protocol denounced as “unpardonable” by a[n Indian] government minister.

Attention, India: taking your shoes off, emptying your pockets, and being wanded is not “frisking.” Get a clue.

“Our intention was never to offend Dr. Kalam or the sentiments of the people of India,” the airline said in an e-mailed statement. “We have tendered a formal apology to Dr. Kalam and we sincerely hope he will fly with us again.”

Translation: We hope he won’t carry a bomb or other explosives, since we’ve acquiesced to India’s absurd “don’t search VIPs” policy.
You know what? To about 150 million Muslim Indians, there’s another guy who qualifies as a VIP. His last name is Bin Laden.
*** UPDATE: Some Tribute Music:

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41 Responses

Ok, that just made me laugh! Now I’ve got that song in my head. Ugh.
I’m still never setting foot on a Continental flight. Evah!!
(OT, but had to share–Your dose of idiocy for the day: http://www.thenewstribune.com/news/local/story/817036.html The “America Apologizes” tour continues on.)

cirrus1701 on July 23, 2009 at 4:30 pm

Another Victim? Can Debbie just have a seperate section, maybe “Victimhood Roster” or “Today’s Victim” column set up so that the Victims could get the attention they so desperately crave, and the rest of us Readers, could move on to the really imporatant stuff, like, say, oh, Socialized Medicine or Tax and End Trade?

Roads Skolar on July 23, 2009 at 4:38 pm

Oh, yes, the FORMER PRESIDENT OF INDIA, the world’s largest representative democracy, that has had leaders of many religious and ethnic groups as well as females long before the Obama administation, must be a terrorist because of his religion. Get a clue, you racist lemur.

Tim on July 29, 2009 at 10:25 am

India needs to throw Continental out of India – take your business some other place and start a strip search of any American who lands in India. India is a free country not an American colony.

H: Can we take all of our call centers with us, too? Get a clue. The man was NOT strip searched. He was asked to empty his pockets and take off his shoes, which they do to all of us Americans who fly (and far worse–some of us are strip searched and felt up; he wasn’t). If you had had this kind of security at the Mumbai hotels, last November, a lot of people who were murdered would still be alive. DS

hathi1841 on August 4, 2009 at 9:25 pm

You do not have the courage to publish my comments. What I wrote was cleaned out – what a shame.

H: Uh, your comment was posted. I guess we can call this latest comment from you “premature articulation.” Easy on the trigger, boy. DS

hathi1841 on August 4, 2009 at 9:26 pm

Ms. Shlussel,
Humanity has to learn respect for one another. Instances like the one that occurred on April 24, 2009 in New Delhi at Indira Gandhi National Airport only seem to highlight the U.S.’s ignorance and lack of respect for people outside it’s borders.

Dr. A.P.J. Kalam (the only surviving former president of the world’s largest democracy) submitted willingly to a routine security check administered by U.S. carrier Continental Airlines in New Delhi. If one pauses for a moment and considers what transpired, it is fairly shocking. Imagine former President George W. Bush being submitted to the same security procedure in Washington, D.C. at Dulles International. Our response would be just as indignant as India’s, even though our former president’s approval rating comes nowhere close to how highly Indian’s regard Dr. Kalam (a thrice nationally decorated scientist/engineer and recipient of the U.S.’s Hoover Medal for Outstanding Public Service in 2008 [our last president to receive this honor was Dwight Eisenhower].)

Freedom of speech is a right I hold dear. I respect views other than my own. Calling Dr. Kalam a “muslim oompa loompa” and comparing him to bin Laden is a deplorable utilization of the First Amendment and does harm to U.S. diplomacy in South Asia. I find it somewhat odd that a descendant of immigrant Polish Jews could take such a small minded stance regarding world affairs.

Sincerely,
Jon Bryan
Dallas, Texas

Jon Bryan on August 7, 2009 at 11:04 am

    W should be searched if he’s flying commercial airliners. Sorry, but he’s not above the law. I get sick and tired of one law for plebs, one law for “important folk.”

    Occam's Tool on June 13, 2011 at 2:51 pm

What Continental Airlines did was against the law. American companies are not exempt from the law where they do business just because they are American. You are claiming that just because Dr Kalam is Muslim, he is a terrorist? And that bin Laden is a VIP? Indian Muslims do not know much or care about bin Laden. He is only VIP in USA (which he attacked) and Afghanistan (where his base was) and nobody else cares about who he is. And our President looks like an Oompa Loompa? I see you people are still racist. India can survive without American call centres as well. We’ll just stop buying your overpriced weapons and buy them from Russia instead and that will compensate for the business lost. The only danger to Continental Airlines is if it goes down into the sea because of excess weight. lol

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oto on January 13, 2015 at 12:21 pm

Our country, our laws. If Continental Airlines refuses to follow our laws, we will have no choice but to programme our air defence systems to shoot down their illegal aircraft in Indian airpsace.

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