February 14, 2013, - 11:41 am
Hey, did you know today is Valentine’s Day, or as we more accurately call it on this website, “DREAD” — Doghouse Risk Extra-Avoidance Day (for men only)? Unless you’ve been living inside a mushroom or on another planet, you can’t avoid it, as the mainstream media and every store and related business around America promote this fake holiday endlessly. I’ve written about this many times over the years, but it bears repeating: today is not about romance. It’s about obligation–the obligation of men to rush to CVS or Walgreen’s after work, today, and buy their wives or girlfriends (or both, in some cases) cards, candy, chocolates and/or roses. If they don’t, they’re in the doghouse (the chicks have no such strongly implied obligation), and in many cases they dread this chore.
And today is primarily about avoiding the doghouse. Regardless of the fact that many of these men work every day to support their families (or, in far too many cases, are stuck at home playing Mr. Mom), none of that counts if they don’t bring home something nice today . . . because Hallmark and Kay Jewelers and florists and candy makers and FOX News and “Good Morning America” said so. Even Google, if you visit the search engine today, has some very weird, creepy animal romance cartoons (looks like they got a tip from the sickos’ Valentine’s Day animal sex dinner at the Detroit Zoo) in place of its usual logo, which reminds me of the depraved “interspecies erotica” alluded to in the disgusting Clerks II (read my review).
Here’s an excerpt from one of my previous DREAD columns–it never changes:
Anyone who confuses what Hallmark tells you to do–and the expectations of females who don’t appreciate your hard work and caring 364 other days of the year–with love doesn’t know what the word means. Today is something you gotta do to stay out of the doghouse. It’s not something you chose to do. It’s an expectation you must meet or meet that fury far beyond what’s in store in hell, as the saying goes.
The Real Story Behind DREAD a/k/a Valentine’s Day (J.C. Penney got killed by the PC crowd for this) …
That’s how most American men feel. I see it every year on this day around 6:00 p.m., if I’m at the local drugstore. Like clockwork at that time on Valentine’s Day, a steady stream of hurried, harried, not-too-happy-looking men are intently rushing in-and-out, in an emergency stampede to avoid the cold shoulder at home for the next month. That’s only the case for men. Today is about women. And they’re selfish. They are the recipients, not the givers. The stats show that, as men spend several times as much on their women as women do on their men. And they do it, so they can avoid the whining, no sex, and other results of not American Greeting and Hallmarking the day along with Hershey’s and FTD. If a husband or boyfriend doesn’t get anything for Valentine’s Day, I doubt he’ll be heartbroken over it . . . unless he’s gay. Just doesn’t happen.
I’ve written about this every year (including here and here), and every year it’s the same. It’s expected. And the sheeple men do it because they won’t stand up and say, “Hey, does it not occur to you when I work 365 24/7 to put food on the table and keep our house heated, that that’s love?” Yes, I know, today, many women are the workers and make more than hubby. For the men in those relationships, I’ll bet today is that much worse. They already feel less of a man (if they’re honest), and now they must show they’re more of a man by buying something when their wife/girlfriend–the bigger breadwinner–holds not just the purse, but the purse strings.
So, for me, today is always an entertaining day. So predictable. It never changes. If there’s one good thing about Valentine’s Day, it’s the billions that get pumped into a very sour American economy. But it’s out of obligation and it’s an artificial one-day-a-year thing. Nothing impactful in the long run.
And the DREAD entertainment continues today. Though it gets old. It’s like Groundhog Day. Same old thing each year, only worse.
Happy DREAD, guys! Won’t you not be my DREADentine?
Tags: DREAD, male DREAD, Valentine's Day