April 4, 2014, - 4:11 pm
Ugly LPGA golfer chicks (at least I think they’re chicks but only the gynecologist knows for sure) are upset with Golf Digest for putting model Paulina Gretzky on the magazine’s cover, after a series of other models, like Kate Upton. These sensible-shoes-endowed golfer feminists are upset that the magazine hasn’t put a female pro golfer on the cover since 2008. And they’re obviously jealous that good-looking models make it to magazine covers instead of second rate golfers who make a living at it only because they have vaginas for plumbing.
I’ve been quoted in Golf Digest before about the whiny, phony chick golfers. And I’ve long argued, dating back to my appearances on ESPN and FOX Sports back in 2000 and beyond, that pro sports–especially women’s fake “pro sports”–are showbiz. Sexualization of everything isn’t a good thing. But we live in a Kardashian, celeb-obsessed, vain society. Women’s sports is only about who looks good, not who can best do a fourth-rate imitation of a man playing pro sports. Nobody wants to see an LPGA player who looks only slightly better than Janet Napolitano on the cover of a magazine. It doesn’t sell. Scantily-clad models sell, for better or for worse, especially to the target demo of 25-45-year-old males to whom advertisers want to sell golf clubs, resort vacations, and so on. But even women don’t buy magazines with ugly women on the cover. Check out the covers of Glamour, Cosmopolitan, and Allure, the next time you’re at the drugstore. Okay, so Glamour and Vogue had Michelle Obama on the cover, but everybody makes mistakes. In any event, nobody cares about who is the best of the bottom 50% of pro-golfers, which is what the LPGA Tour is.
Anna Kournikova got that in the late ’90s and early 2000s, when she made millions in endorsements and was all over the tabloids, even though she hadn’t cracked women’s tennis’ top ten at the time and hadn’t won a major tournament. The racist, anti-Israel Williams sisters, at the top of the women’s game, couldn’t get arrested because they were–how do you say it?–“looks-challenged” or, um, “differently-visaged.” Plus people thought their milk mustaches in the ad were real Williams facial hair or that it was really the Wayans Brothers in the ad. VenuSerena constantly whined, “raaaaaayyyycism!” But it was really just, you’re very ugly. (Plus the Williams Bros are arrogant and act like the world owes them. It ain’t attractive.)
And, now, it is the same thing all over again. The LPGA hags are upset that they aren’t on the cover but a model is.
With a provocative pose, Paulina Gretzky will be the cover girl in the upcoming issue of Golf Digest. That doesn’t sit well with some LPGA tour stars.
Gretzky isn’t a professional golfer. . . . The last three women to appear on the cover have been Golf Channel anchor and personality Holly Sonders (May 2013), Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover girl Kate Upton, who appeared with Arnold Palmer (December 2013), and Gretzky. Lorena Ochoa was the last player to appear on the cover – in 2008.
“That’s just been the way it is for over 20, 30 years,” world No. 1 Inbee Park told reporters on Thursday after her round in the Kraft Nabisco Championship. “We are trying to get closer to the guys (in popularity), but obviously we are never going to get there. That’s for sure. The LPGA is getting better and better.”
Uh-huh. Just like the plague and herpes are getting better and better.
Stacy Lewis, the top-ranked American at No. 3 in the world, was asked by a New York Times reporter what she thought of the choice. “It’s frustrating for female golfers,” Lewis told reporters. “It’s the state of where we’ve always been. We don’t get the respect for being the golfers we are. Obviously, Golf Digest is trying to sell magazines, but at the same time you like to see a little respect for the women’s game.”
Why? They aren’t the best golfers. Not even close. Just the best golfers with estrogen. Men who can’t make it to the PGA Tour or even lesser pro golf leagues can beat these women easily.
Angela Stanford agreed. The veteran from Texas has been playing golf on a professional level since 1990 but wasn’t surprised when told of the Gretzky cover. . . . “The LPGA has some attractive women and very fit women, so why not use them? I’m just baffled by it.”
Waaaah! Waaah! Waaah! Now, go back to trying on your pantsuit and signing up for the Hillary Cankles Clinton Fan Club.
Here’s a tip, Ls of the LPGA, nobody cares. If this LPGA beef was really about skill and if people really cared about the best golfers being on the cover of a golf magazine, the magazine would have the best golfers–all of them, MEN!–on the cover. And it has. If women golfers were really that good and so meritorious of the cover shot, they would disband the LPGA, qualify for the PGA Tour, and beat the men at the game. But they can’t and they won’t. So, all they can do is whine about the model. So sad, too bad. Our world is gonna collapse with this great travesty of lesbian golfers not being on the cover of Golf Digest.
By the way, Paulina Gretzky is the daughter of former NHL phenom Wayne Gretzky and retired actress Janet Jones Gretzky.
Tags: Golf Digest, Golf Digest cover, LGPA Paulina Gretzky, LPGA, LPGA Golf Digest, Paulina Gretzky, Pauline Gretzky Golf Digest, sex sells, women golfers