January 4, 2006, - 8:27 pm

BREAKING: As PREDICTED by SCHLUSSEL, Unqualified Julie Myers Gets Bush Recess Appt. to Head ICE

By Debbie Schlussel
DAMN! You heard it here, first. Back in November, we broke the news that Julie L. Myers–President Bush’s unqualified nominee to head Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE)–would get a recess appointment.
Unfortunately, yet another of our dark predictions has come true (like our Al-Arian-would-walk prediction). Today, the White House announced that President Bush gave Ms. Myers the ultimate undeserved Christmas present over the holidays. Bush gave Julie Myers a recess appointment as Assistant Secretary of Homeland Security, overseeing ICE.

laverne&juliemyers.jpg

Laverne & Julie:

Myers Recess Appointment Latest Sitcom Disaster at Immigration Agency

(Artwork by a Concerned Federal Agent)

Happy New Year! Or rather, an UNHAPPY one. On this site, we’ve extensively detailed Myers’ absolute unsuitability for this most important of Homeland Security positions. This silly recess appointment was in response to a number of holds placed on Ms. Myers’ nomination because she is as qualified to run the agency as our personal friend, Carrot Top (and he knows how to use cool gadgets). Put to a vote, Myers would have been voted down. That should have sent a clear message to the President. But, apparently, he is even more out of touch on Homeland Security than we had earlier diagnosed. This appointment is a huge joke on America. What’s the punch line?
Now, thanks to this recess appointment, Myers’ appointment will be valid only until the end of this session of Congress, at the end of 2006. This makes her a lame duck for an entire year–in “leading” this rudderless agency without a clear mission (or leader). Myers has never held a job longer than 11 months, and we hope this new one is no exception. Although, we predict that lazy, gutless politicians will clear the way for this inexperienced Martha Stewart wannabe, when the time comes in 2007 to renew her “contract.”
ICE agents are not celebrating. And no American should be either. Except Myers’ husband (DHS Secretary Chertoff’s Chief of Staff John F. Wood), uncle (Retired General Richard Myers), and the lucky Myers, herself, who selected herself for the job in her job at White House personnel for the Bush Administration. Look at me, I’m the new Queen of the ICE Palace. Like way totally cool.
Look for illegal alien problems to get worse, not better. Ditto for Islamic money laundering through such means as Hawalas. The clueless Myers doesn’t have an inkling about any of this–or about law enforcement. Extensive tutoring and hand-holding by Senior ICE officials didn’t help. But, hey, we hear she makes a mean wedding party favor . . . complete with White House trinkets.
After she’s gone, we vote for Anna Nicole Smith to head ICE next. We hear she, too, is looking for a new position.

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Print Friendly



Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

6 Responses

ohhhhh, geez, Debbie, you ruined my night. Wonder how long it will take to throughly school her on the ever-changing, massive complexities of immigration law, from benefits to detention to removal to investigation?

icechick on January 4, 2006 at 10:46 pm

Looking at her pics, she reminds me of the Runaway Bride, Jennifer Wilbanks. Too bad Ms. Ice Ice Baby Myers doesn’t run away, too.

The_Man on January 5, 2006 at 12:35 am

What is it with Bush and the damned cronyism?! Debbie, you’re becoming the worst kind of seuth-sayer I know of. Bush truly must not give a sh*t about protecting this country.

Yiddish Steel on January 5, 2006 at 12:57 am

Myers, you’re doing one heck of a job…

Nice of Dubya to hook up failed (but Medal of Freedomed!) former Joint Chiefs chairman Dick Myers’ neice and other cronies with recess appointments to jobs they’re not even remotely qualified for.

ReidBlog on January 5, 2006 at 3:05 pm

Bush appoints ICE Princess while Congress away

From Debbie Schlussel: … Yeah, I’d still vote for the dumb shit over Kerry, but it’s a cryin’ shame the Dimocrats didn’t run a Lieberman/Miller ticket. …

Small Town Veteran on January 5, 2006 at 7:30 pm

Bush appoints ICE Princess while Congress away

From Debbie Schlussel: … Yeah, I’d still vote for the dumb shit over Kerry, but it’s a cryin’ shame the Dimocrats didn’t run a Lieberman/Miller ticket. …

Small Town Veteran on January 5, 2006 at 7:30 pm

Leave a Reply

* denotes required field