June 2, 2005, - 2:02 pm

Condom Ads, Si; Cigarette Ads, No?-Clinton, Spokesman?

By Debbie Schlussel
So now condom ads will be on prime time TV. Yet, cigarette ads are banned. What’s the difference? Yes, I know–smoking causes cancer, but kids using condoms, which don’t always work, may lead to other illnesses, like AIDS. And do we really need kids who watch “American Idol” and might be very young to see these ads? It’s not like everyone else doesn’t know about condoms. Think about it. If this is about free speech for the condom industry, why isn’t “big tobacco’s” right to free speech as sacred as “big (or small) condom’s” right? And then there’s the uncomfortability factor. Do you enjoy seeing tampon or Levitra, Cialis, and Viagra ads during your shows? Bob Dole as the ED poster child. Who would be the new spokesman for condoms? Bill Clinton as the new “Trojan Man”? I can just see it now: “My name is Bill Clinton, and you know me as former President of the United States. I want you to know about a product that has come in quite handy in my marriage to Hillary and all of my relationships. That’s right, whether it was Miss America or Juanita Broaddrick, Eleanor Mondale, or Monica, condoms have helped me to keep Chelsea an only child. Streisand? Well, yeah, her, too. I didn’t want a kid with that kind of schnoz, if you know what I mean.”

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