March 1, 2010, - 1:20 pm

The Prob w/ Starstruck Federal Air Marshals – Kim Kardashian Edition

By Debbie Schlussel

What is it with starstruck Federal Air Marshals (FAMs) who can’t stop blabbing their real identities to attractive female celebrities (who also then re-blab)?  The Air Marshals are supposed to be undercover and on the lookout for men who would storm the cockpit and try to use the plane as a weapon . . . not their next “dating” (euphemism) opportunity or tickets to the taping of some TV show.



Last year, I told you about airhead faux-conservative Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s outing of a Federal Air Marshal.  The ditzy co-host of ABC’s anti-male hag-fest, “The View,” told the audience the full name of a Federal Air Marshal who sat next to her on a New York to Los Angeles flight.  Not only did we learn the air marshal’s full name, but the time of the flight, its departure city and destination, where the Air Marshal sat on the flight, and what his cover story was (a cover story used by many FAMs).  As a result, the blabbermouth FAM was put under investigation and Federal Air Marshal Service brass had to contact ABC to remove his name from the episode, which was repeated during “The View’s” summer break.

Now, the same has happened with Kim Kardashian, but for the big-mouthed Air Marshal’s last name.

Kardashian used her Twitter account to tweet from the flight (while it was in the air–a no-no, as we all know), and told us the Air Marshal’s first name (Jim), that he was sitting next to her in First Class, and other details, like that the flight was another New York to Los Angeles flight, and the time.  It’s not like no-one noticed, either.  Kardashian has over three million Twitter followers, and even Us Magazine noticed (see below, from the March 8th issue).    She claims she figured it out and is “a Private Eye.”  PUH-LEEZE.  The skank is an airhead, who got famous for taking her clothes off and having sex on video.




If I were an observant Islamic terrorist, with these two chicks spilling, I’d know that my next terrorist attack on a plane should be on a flight other than New York or Newark to Los Angeles.  Thanks to Hasselbeck, Kardashian . . . and the drooling Air Marshals who couldn’t keep their mouths shut.

Shukran [Arabic for “Thanks”], infidel girls.  And thanks, starstruck Federal Air Marshals.  For the record, I know several Federal Air Marshals, who’ve sat next to celebrities on flights.  They don’t give them their identities and ask for autographs  because they’re fans of the Kardashian/Ray-J sex tape, or tickets to a taping for their wife, who is a fan of “The View.”  It’s against the rules.  But all it takes is a few who think with their pants and not with their brains, to jeopardize the safety of the rest of the passengers, and more importantly, any buildings terrorists might use the planes to strike and the innocent people working inside of them.

As one Federal Air Marshal wrote me when Hasselbeck did the previous outing, after a FAM revealed his identity to her:

WTF was he thinking? Our agency does not condone its agents slobbering over celebs like a soccer mom sitting next to Brad Pitt. I mean of alllll people to yap to? Jeez. I can count the number of times I have even engaged someone in conversation in the last year on one hand.

Biggest fan-FAM deserves whatever the agency does to him. I hope his teammates take him aside and advise him that they don’t like him risking their asses to score points . . . . Wow is all I can say.

It’s not like terrorists haven’t thought of using women to distract and extract information from federal officials. You can find this “novel” tact way back in biblical times, when Jael enticed and killed General Sisera of Canaan.

Are we approaching the point where were going to have to employ only gay men as Federal Air Marshals?  No.  As I noted, I know many Air Marshals who think of the safety of the plane, not the plot line of their wildest fantasies.  But it’s time for strict discipline for the Air Marshals who blab.

Let’s start with Kim Kardashian’s new friend, Jim.


If you follow me on Twitter, I guarantee you I won’t be tweeting the names of Federal Air Marshals who are supposed to be anonymous.

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24 Responses

You would think one of the only rules to be followed by so called air marshalls is to never give your identity away. What a joke, and to blow your cover when talking to a paris hilton bff come on.

tyler on March 1, 2010 at 2:49 pm

Stupid AIRHEADS!! I’d never out an Air Marshall!! As that old saying goes “Loose Lips Sink Ships” and , these Air Marshalls need to keep their big mouths shut!!

Michael Smith on March 1, 2010 at 2:52 pm

i think samson and delilah is a better example-everyone knows that story. sisera and jael is over the head of most of your readers.

drdean on March 1, 2010 at 3:15 pm

    Anyone who has read the book of Judges is familiar with the story of Sisera and his demise at the rugged hands of Jael after he fled for his life having been routed by the armies of ancient Israel. Save the smug condescension and arrogance for our sitting president. = )

    chuck poindexter on March 1, 2010 at 4:13 pm

Sarcasm on

Hey I think I am going to tell the next hot looking chick I am a Federal Air Marshall when I board the next plane. When they find out you aren’t you can ad lib like the Holiday Inn commercial, “I may not be a Federal Air Marshall but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express.” I think this probably happened. Some dude is trying to get her attention just made some phony claim and she bit. Who knows this guy could be lying. Hopefully it was a lie.

CaliforniaScreaming on March 1, 2010 at 4:32 pm

How do we know this guy really was a Federal Air Marshal?

Did he show her his badge or credentials?

Did he reveal his weapon(s)?

Maybe he was just saying that to try to impress a female.

Were there other Federal Air Marshals aboard this same flight, and were they monitoring each other’s conduct?

I would assume that there are more than one Federal Air Marshal on the flight, and that they have the means and method to surrepticiously communicate with each other.

It’s just a guess, but I am wondering about the veracity of anything Kim Kardashian might publicize?

John Robert Mallernee on March 1, 2010 at 4:50 pm

    “It’s just a guess, but I am wondering about the veracity of anything Kim Kardashian might publicize?”

    I didn’t think of that but I believe you may be on to something. Maybe she was trying to “one up” that bimbo Elisabeth Hackleback or whatever The View hags name is.

    juswondern on March 1, 2010 at 10:03 pm

Although the marshals must be careful not to go to their other extreme and not conversing at all — they don’t want to be typecast as saying nothing at all; the best thing may be a couple of comments about the weather, or the Superbowl, or whatever, but not be stereotyped as typically saying nothing at all. Granted that extreme is not as bad as this example, but extremes of all kinds are undesirable.

Little Al on March 1, 2010 at 5:44 pm

If it were possible in our politically correct society, it might also be good to have personality screening for hiring of federal marshals to eliminate these insecure or sick people. Personality screening is becoming more and more common in industry, and might help eliminate some of these problems.

Little Al on March 1, 2010 at 6:00 pm

Those air Marshals, and any others who follow suit, should be fired. What they did was pure negligence. I’m sure they were trained better than that.

Bill on March 1, 2010 at 7:18 pm

I’m sure it was just some dude BSing her and trying to get in her pants.

GianniV on March 1, 2010 at 7:22 pm

Kim Kardashian should have been mindful that at least one of her Twitter followers may have been a terrorist who happened to be on the same flight as her.

Kim Kardashian’s actually a decent person.

Keamon on March 1, 2010 at 10:43 pm

    She wasn’t all that decent when she was making her sex tape!

    T. Y. on March 1, 2010 at 11:12 pm

One can only hope that the dude was lying to her about his job. Wouldn’t surprise me if he just blurted it out though. Need more serious demeanor from our air marshalls.

Joe on March 1, 2010 at 11:43 pm

They’ll end up weeding these idiots out, fire them, and then they’ll get picked by ice as stupidvisors in hq.

IceNoMore on March 1, 2010 at 11:51 pm

Ex-FAM Jim now works for TSA. He’s the guy that runs those new body scanners. Look out, Kim.

Sam Deakins on March 2, 2010 at 6:49 am

I am just outraged. In no other country would this security breach ever happen! the view and E! are just wrong for America.

linda on March 2, 2010 at 7:26 am

Hey I why are the air marshalls in forst class? Gee, have we given an easier target to the Muslims? Gee, you think so?

Bill Ford on March 2, 2010 at 7:54 am

    FAMs are in 1st class because that’s what’s closest to the Cockpit. Doh!

    mk750 on March 2, 2010 at 1:08 pm

Doesn’t it seem ironic about this chick. Her father Robert Kardashian defended ex Heisman Trophy winner USC running back O.J. Simpson. Mr. Kardashian went to his death bed knowing he defended a double murderer. Now Kim Kardashian is dating an ex Heisman Trophy winner USC running back, Reggie Bush. Hmmm…I’m Just Saying?
Someone must be spinning in their grave.

CaliforniaScreaming on March 2, 2010 at 12:44 pm

    CS, everyone is entitled to a defense, even those who turn out to be guilty. What’s changed is the idea that “defense” means working to get you off even when the atty. knows your guilty. The original theory was to ensure everyone got a fair trial & sentence. That an accidental killer wasn’t given the death penalty or an innocent person found guilty on circumstance.

    mk750 on March 2, 2010 at 1:13 pm

After the 09 incident of the “blabbermouth” FAM (who by the way is still a FAM) no other similar incidents have occurred. Point being, untrue news. What’s next? Talking about a Transportation Security Officer receiving a citation for speeding?People just love critiquing TSA. If society only knew all of the things local law enforcement agencies hide from the public they would be even more shocked (for lack of a better word) then what they hear about TSA.

Real FAM out of Los Angeles, C.A.

XXXXX XXXXX on March 3, 2010 at 7:44 pm

Yes, men ogling my breasts always makes me feel safe too.

Anne-Marie on November 19, 2010 at 2:27 pm

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