December 22, 2006, - 12:22 pm

Hello . . . It’s Just a TV Show: Did You Buy Your Festivus Pole?

By Debbie Schlussel
AP reports that way too many people are taking the “Seinfeld” concept of “Festivus” seriously. (Festivus is a non-descript, secular replacement for Christmas and Chanukah, celebrated by George Costanza’s father, Frank.)


In fact, so many people are celebrating this stupid, fictional holiday that the Milwaukee-based Wagner copmany is briskly selling its line of Festivus poles, this holiday season.

Just remember, these fools are celebrating a fake holiday from a television comedy, with what amounts to a stripper pole. Nice. “Festivus for the Rest of Us”? I don’t think so.

Sad: Festivus Poles Doing Brisk Business

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12 Responses

i plan on getting THAT and a Michael Richards Sambo doll for ALL my homies this Kwanzaa…another made-up holiday

EminemsRevenge on December 22, 2006 at 1:06 pm

That’s interesting, for me at least. I don’t know what you’re talking about, Debbie.
I never watched one single episode of that “Seinfeld” show. Nor “Friends,” nor any of that crap. I just heard about them and saw some clips.
Did I miss something?
Does that mean I’m a boring person?
I don’t like sitcoms, nor these so-called “cops”, “forensic” and “doctors” shows that are on TV these days.
90% of my time, when I need news and entertainment, is spent online.
Does it make me a boring person or a smart one?

Independent Conservative on December 22, 2006 at 1:31 pm

I think people are purchasing said poles because they are stricken with a very serious medical condition called a “sense of humor”. Symptoms of this terrible, terrible disease are often laughing at “jokes”, and producing “jokes” yourself. Sufferers have also been seen “smiling” and “enjoying themselves”. So far, there is no cure.

ConservativesLovePuns(descent) on December 22, 2006 at 1:42 pm

Don’t worry IC, I’m a “more boring” person than you…expecally considerig my age (24). So your still relevant to me as a person.
Well, I guess with this so-called holiday, just puts another nail in the word “Christmas”.

Squirrel3D on December 22, 2006 at 2:28 pm

Thanks Squirrel3D for lifting my spirit on this Christmas season. I thought I was the only member of what people might think is the “Boring Club.”
Merry Christmas!

Independent Conservative on December 22, 2006 at 2:54 pm

To me, it is no different than people who actually celebrate Qwanza, which is also a fake holiday.

Travis on December 22, 2006 at 7:31 pm

Kwaaaanza is another fake holiday – and invented by a Black Panther.
I wonder how long until the multicultural bulletin boards on middle schools across America announce Festivus the way the ìChristmasî decorations in my townís public school currently wish everyone ìHappy Kwaanzaî?

dm60462 on December 22, 2006 at 8:36 pm

I never understood the whole Seinfeld thingy.
I watched about 20 seconds of it (that’s the most i’ll do … like the simpsons, etc.) and determined that a show about unfunny whiny New Yawkers was a complete waste of time. Life is too short.

Rocketman on December 23, 2006 at 9:28 am

Two things:
The amount of TV you watch has nothing to do with how boring or exciting you are. If you are unable to appreciate humor of any kind, you’re probably boring. But humor is like beauty, it’s personal opinion and there is no right or wrong. Liking sitcoms is not a prerequisite, nor does it make you a simpleton.
Festivus was a joke on a TV show. Buying a “festivus pole” because you think it’s a funny conversation piece is fine, similar to buying a t-shirt with a catch phrase from the show printed on it. Buying a pole to actually celebrate a joke holiday from a sitcom is just plain stupid. If you do that, then yes you are stupid. But I think the majority of the people buying these poles are doing it because they saw it and said, “Hey, that is hillarious! I gotta have one!” To accuse them of “celebrating festivus” is also pretty stupid.

Stealthkix on December 28, 2006 at 2:03 pm

    Wow, your post makes mine look feelbe. More power to you!

    Lucka on August 29, 2011 at 3:58 pm

It’s part of my war on Xmas. Christ’s dad was a rapist (Mary) and a conductor of genocide (ordered the Hebrews to exterminate the entire population of the people of Ai). Not the kind of family I like to celebrate, and with all the whining ‘war on xmas’ people, I don’t want to be in the company of xmas celebrators either.

FatSean on October 15, 2009 at 1:22 pm

Festivus did not begin on Seinfeld. A simple Google search would verify that.

Jim on December 23, 2011 at 7:48 am

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