April 24, 2008, - 3:38 pm

Dirty Harry is Dead

By Debbie Schlussel
No, Clint Eastwood is not dead. He’s still very much alive.
But “Dirty Harry,” the character that made him a big star, is very much dead. Rigor mortis long ago set in, when Eastwood began his years-long repentance tour around Hollywood for having played the conservative, no-nonsense law and order cop.
When Eastwood made the pro-euthanasia, bait-and-switch “Million Dollar Baby,” Dirty Harry went into a coma. When he made the anti-American “Flags of Our Fathers,” Dirty Harry’s heart stopped beating. And with “Letters from Iwo Jima,” which showed American soldiers on the WWII island battlefield as heartless killers, Dirty Harry was dead. When Eastwood told USA Today, he thought there might be some “great stories” from Al-Qaeda’s point of view to tell onscreen, rigor mortis set in to the body of Dirty Harry.


Dirty Harry is Dead

Now, Eastwood has decided to make a sixth Dirty Harry film, “Gran Torino,” to be filmed in Michigan (now that suffering Michigan taxpayers will be subsidizing the film under a stupid new law). But, aside from Eastwood being a gazillion years old, there’s a great reason not to make this film.
With Eastwood’s liberal, anti-war politics–which he’s adopted to do penance to Hollywood for daring to play Dirty Harry in the first place–Dirty Harry is dead. Gone. Forever.
Don’t go ahead. Don’t make my day. I don’t feel lucky.
Dirty Harry is Dead. DO NOT RESUSCITATE.

18 Responses

I realize I’m reaching, but one thing I’ve learned through the years is that many people, especially ‘artists’ have enormous egos. Eastwood may have seen that Sly Stallone successfully made a new Rocky movie. He may figure if there is a Rocky movie about an overage boxer, why can’t he do the same thing?
Especially with our overall society becoming more & more narcissistic, this is what I suspect, although of course I can’t prove it.

c f on April 24, 2008 at 4:03 pm

Thanks for declaring dead and not metrosexual (a fate worse than the grave in some cases.) Sigh! Where have all the cowboys gone?…Brokeback Moutain obviously.

currambrooklyn on April 24, 2008 at 4:11 pm

Dirty Old Man Harry!

TheOmegaMan on April 24, 2008 at 4:38 pm

Conservative though I am, I never really liked the Dirty Harry movies…they were always too slow for my tastes and lacked plot. Basically, they were TV cop show episodes stretched out to feature film length, but with extra violence.
I can guarantee you, this is a movie I won’t be going to.

Sharps Rifle on April 24, 2008 at 5:10 pm

Dear ‘Sharps Rifle’,
I wonder if you are referencing, in your username, the charismatic Richard Sharpe, from Bernard Cornwell’s ‘Sharpe’ novels (one of these is titled ‘Sharpes rifles’ and is a wonderful book). If so I would like to point out the ‘e’ on the end of Sharpe.
Kind regards
A fellow fan

fattulip on April 24, 2008 at 5:53 pm

Eastwood has not been a conservative for years. Remember the movie “In the Line of Fire”? He tells somebody “What have you been doing all these years, running drugs for the Contras”? The price he paid for being treated as an icon (what a joke!) was to abandon his fan base. Look at all teh lefties who ahve acted in his movies – Tim Robbins, Sean Penn, Gene Hackman, Hillary Swank, Meryl Streep. By the way Eastwood was always a mediocre actor – he was best as Rowdy Yates in Rawhide but that was almost half a century ago. Flags of Our Fathers and Letters From Iwo Jima were disgraceful. Other lefty Eastwood movies – “A Perfect World” and that movie about someone on death row (I forgot the title). Clint Eastwood being recognized as a great director and actor? What a joke!!

Ripper on April 24, 2008 at 6:27 pm

FT: Nope, my name is a reference to the .50 caliber buffalo rifle manufactured by Christian Sharps’ company. It was a single shot weapon, but accurate and deadly at long range. In .54 caliber carbine configuration, it was the standard arm of US and Confederate Cavalry troopers…as a military rifle it was used by Berdan’s 1st US Sharpshooters, and was noted for making kills at close to 1 mile (Billy Dixon at Adobe Walls held off Kiowa warriors with a .50 cal. Sharps sporter).
I’m familiar with the Sharpe’s Rifles series, but I’m thinking more in line with occasionally nailing the left with commentary and opinions that hit like the round from a buffalo gun…and except for Bill Cody’s M1866 Springfield that he called “Lucretia Borgia,” no rifle ever hit harder than a Sharps. If I achieve half my aim, I’ll be living up to my nic.

Sharps Rifle on April 24, 2008 at 6:27 pm

I was just telling a friend about Clint’s about face since the 70’s and 80’s. I guess marrying Dina Ruiz, the news lady out of L.A. had some consequences. He’s been trying to be kinder and gentler (and more liberal) and less of a common man. Magnum Force ws the apology movie for Harry being the bad ass. Oh well, I watch a lot less stuff at the movies these days and more on dvd because of the crap that gets churned out.
By the way Debbie, The Mist was a disappointment. Have you noticed how most of Kings movies have children being killed? WTF? I quit reading him 8 years ago after reading Cujo.

samurai on April 24, 2008 at 6:40 pm

Clint Eastwood is not an actor,
he is merely a movie star.
A real actor just passed away recently, what was his name; played Moses or something like that?

LocalLawman on April 24, 2008 at 10:49 pm

you are thinking of charelton heston who played moses. As for the topic, a movie from AL-QAEDA’s VIEWPINT????? Is he nuts? who would want to see anything from their view? who could sympathize with them?

mindy1 on April 25, 2008 at 7:08 am

Strange things happen when you get old. Goldwater met a woman and made a complete fool of himself. Eastwood’s latest movies where he tries to make heroes out of Japanese war criminals were complete flops.

Burt on April 25, 2008 at 7:34 am

If Clint follows liberalism to its natural conclusion, Harry Callahan could look a lot different:
*The hackneyed chase scenes through the streets of SF will take place with Eastwood pursuing his foe while driving a Prius. The foe, of course, is a balding, pudgy white guy who committed the crime of heckling Medea Benjamin at a Code Pink rally.
*Harry doesn’t carry the cannon any longer, but being that the perp is oviously a bible thumping, racist, homophobic son of privilge, Callahan still gets to beat the crap out of him.
Harry, ignoring the attractive, available widow who lives across from him, decides that it’s time to stop the charade and devotes himself to the attractive, available widower who lives next door.
Harry dies in the end, is cremated and his ashes are smoked in a bong at a memorial service held at Berkeley.

Southernops on April 25, 2008 at 8:40 am

Bravo, Southernops! That was hilarious…careful, they seriously might try to rip off your idea.
Eh, this is why years ago I don’t pay attention to any single celeb, liberal or supposedly conservative. It’s such a different life, a fantasy world, that is so far removed from what most people face. For all their talk of thier pet issues, to me it always always always comes down to money and prestige for 99.9% of these overprivileged bozos. We should return to the long ago mindset that looked down on actors. (OK, I might make a slight exception for Chuck Norris).
You know The Apocalypse is near if Eastwood goes on Oprah and promotes this.

Jeff_W on April 25, 2008 at 9:15 am

Southernops, that was great. Sounds like typical SF elitism. You have to replace his .44 magnum with a can of pepper spray or taser gun though and the plot would involve him against those evil…evil US Marines. We must have non-violence in secularist SF.

RadicalRightWinger on April 25, 2008 at 10:20 am

hahaha at southernops-i love sarcastic humor.

mindy1 on April 25, 2008 at 11:24 am

Did anyone ever notice that Clint Eastwood plays virtually the same character in every movie he stars in? It’s the same character played in different time periods, wearing different costumes. The man is a one-dimensional actor.
The olny way to explain his shift in politics and how he views this country is this: Old age breeds senility. We saw the same thing happen to Barry Goldwater as he aged. Clint Eastwood is brain dead!

Thee_Bruno on April 25, 2008 at 12:16 pm

Ever notice that in Eastwood’s movies the past few years he winds up banging a chick who is young enough to be his granddaughter? I saw a photo of Eastwood directing the Iwo Jima movie (a colossal bore along with Flags of Our Fathers) and he was wearing a Japanese solider hat. I wanted to shoot him on the spot!

Ripper on April 25, 2008 at 8:34 pm

Letters from Iwa Jima was not made to glorify the Japanese. It was made from the perspective of the Japanese during WWII…it is not an anti-American film. Also, Mr. Eastwood is still the same staunch supported of guns and no-nonsense politics as he ever was. Everyone mellows in old age and can’t be as “bad ass” as once upon a time.

The Girl With No Name on December 31, 2008 at 11:15 pm

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