October 13, 2008, - 2:00 pm

Don’t Worry, America: Failing MSM Newspaper Brings You Great Financial “Help”

By Debbie Schlussel
With America failing economically, homes in foreclosure, and prices rising, you’d think that newspapers–especially failing a failing newspaper like the Detroit Free Press–would bring you news and advice you could use.
But you’d be wrong.
The liberal newspaper, today, brings down-and-out, economically depressed Michigan residents this gem of a suggestion, courtesy of wackjob freelance writer and panderer Kimberly Lifton:
Consult the “Dream Dudes”. Michael and Nicole Sebastian, for the bargain price of $1,000 per session, will tell you what your dream means. And for your $1,000, you get “dream therapy”–whatever the heck that is. I guess the “therapy” is losing two calories writing out the check.

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Detroit “Free” Press: On Guard on Behalf of “Dream Therapy” Snake Oil

You see, these high class snake oil salesmen, er . . . “celebrity dream coaches” were originally in Hollywood, where they charged $10,000 per session. But apparently they couldn’t find enough suckers even in LalaLand, so they packed up their bags and moved to a place where they thought they could find a better pool of suckers: Michigan.

“We’ve been getting a lot of clients who are really worried about finances,” Michael Sebastian said.

Hmmm . . . if you’re wasting thousands of dollars to get two Hollywood failures to play psychic for you, then you probably have the answer to why your finances stink.
That’s not to mention the fifty cents you wasted on what you thought was a major newspaper and was really a pimp for cheap charlatanry.
Not to worry for the Sebastians if their expensive New Age snake oil doesn’t sell well in the economic desert of Michigan. Their friend, Kim Lifton, tells us that they’re shopping around a dream therapy reality show, starring Katherin Pacino (widow of Al Pacino’s father–wow, that’s really a stretch for trying to pretend you’re a celebrity) and their client rapper/Obama cheerleader Ludacris.
And they wonder why the Detroit Free Press is a dying newspaper. Lifton’s last Pulitzer-quality article for the Freep was how her rich, homely, terrorist-enabling friend Brenda Rosenberg has lots of pairs of expensive shoes (and in which she lied and claimed her noxious friend is a “shoe designer”–well, she is a heel).
With more articles like this from Kim Lifton, I think I prefer the Weekly World News–higher quality journalism. Looking forward to the issue where the extraterrestrial alien meets with Sarah Palin for an intergalactic Hockey Mom summit.
Oh, and did I mention this “article” was in the Detroit Free Press Business section? Hilarious.
And they complain to us about blogs. Hello . . .?

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4 Responses

But look at all the newspapers that carry astrology columns. given the dumbing down in this country, maybe this will boost their circulation.

c f on October 13, 2008 at 2:20 pm

Maybe today’s newspapers should go to comic book format? We can’t expect Harvard grads to be able to read.

Burt on October 16, 2008 at 8:41 am

After listening once again to the Obama ” I was only 8″ excuse for Bill Ayers I checked when McCain was 8. John McCain turned 8 years old during the Holocaust. I don’t think McCain launched his campaign from the home of any former Nazis.

Dennis D on October 17, 2008 at 2:14 pm

Liberal Bias joke of the Day.
New Yahoo-AP poll shows a 2 Pt race now. SO what is the AP Headline ?
ï Poll: Voters souring on McCain, Obama stays steady

Dennis D on October 17, 2008 at 2:16 pm

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