March 13, 2012, - 7:25 pm

ICK! Enough w/ the Nude Pregnant Famous People Photos

By Debbie Schlussel

If you’re one of those weird sickos who has a strange fetish for naked pregnant women, this post isn’t for you. Report to your nearest loony bin.  But for everybody else, I hope you agree with me that this “look at me naked and pregnant” craze must go.  First, it was Demi Moore years ago, when she hadn’t yet moved on to marrying her son.  Then, it was fellow skanks Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera.  Then, it was Mariah Carey and Nia Long, ‘cuz you know that in the age of civil rights and equality the Black chicks gotta get in on the stupidity.  And now it’s Jessica Simpson.  And she’s not just posing pregnant and nude on the cover of the latest issue of Elle magazine.  She’s also shown again in underpants with her babydaddy kissing her stomach.  Uggh.  Yet another thing to file under the TMI category.  Too.  Much.  Information.


A Trend That Needs to Go Out of Business (Nude Jessica Simpson Cover Photo Edited for Decency Standards)

Is there a reason we need to see this naked pregnant chick?  I mean, is there a reason beyond . . . look at me, look at me, look at me?  Nope.  Tonight, her new fashion competition reality show debuts on NBC, and I understand the need for attention and attention-seeking stunts to drive ratings her way.  But it says a lot if posing naked and pregnant on a magazine cover is the only way you can get it.  Sad.  As I’ve said repeatedly on this site, there is sadly no such thing as privacy anymore in our Twitter/Facebook/look-at-me/notice-me/make-me-famous-and-if-I’m-famous-do-anything-to-get-attention-and-keep-me-famous culture.

In any event, the naked pregnant celebrity pose is something that’s gotta go.  I wouldn’t wanna see the pregnant transsexual man naked and pregnant on a magazine cover, and I don’t wanna see Jessica Simpson on the cover either.  Keep something to yourself.  (You just know that kid is gonna be a spoiled, troubled disaster. . . in addition to being born out of wedlock to a kept man and a sugarmommy mother.)

It’s a never-ending trend about which I gotta scream . . . PLEASE. MAKE. IT. STOP.  Yuck!

Her line of shoes (which someone else designs and on which she slaps her name) is cool. And she (or, more likely, the people who design the stuff bearing her name) is pretty good at spotting trends.

But as for her latest trend, put some clothes on. We don’t wanna see it.

35 Responses

Another ringer, Debbie,

It’s the husband’s job to make the pregnant woman feel desired and sexy. not to be paraded around on magazine covers to nauseate (or entice, as the case may be for fetishists) the public.

DS_ROCKS! on March 13, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    Agreed. Its one of those things that belongs between a husband and wife. Nothing wrong if he admires her as the mother of their child but it shouldn’t be shared with the world.

    TMI. Some things are meant to remain private, in the family so to speak and one’s spouse is NOT meant to be an object of prurient curiosity for others.

    There’s still such thing as decency and good taste. And if your woman likes being paraded like that in front of the world, you’re not even a husband!

    ‘Nuff said. The sickos who come to view Debbie’s thread to indulge their depraved fetish may not care but the rest of us should.

    In our society, boundaries are important.

    NormanF on March 13, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Yup. Its indecent. A naked woman may be flattering but there’s something lost in seeing a naked AND pregnant woman.

We already have a surfeit of softcore porn. How much further do we really need to go? This is one trend that should definitely go out of fashion!

NormanF on March 13, 2012 at 7:35 pm

Yup, we get to see centerfolds of knocked up nude skanks. This used to be considered a fetish item that was concealed in a plain brown wrapper. Those days are long gone. Instead, you get to view it while checking out at your local Meijer’s or AP.

Worry01 on March 13, 2012 at 7:46 pm

You mean the Christ-Child has not been born yet? You’d think with all these celebrity births the second-coming would be well on its way.

These narcissistic skanks wonder why they have stalkers. We know there is a danger for that without the naked photos but these idiots who sell their soul and every ounce of self-respect for the glory of “love me, LOVE ME” (like “Ren & Stimpy” and if you know what I am talking about good on you!) and sharing things with the public that should be only shown to a loving husband. What’s next vaginal shots taken by they obygn?????

I love that the baby-daddy is photographed looking like a mouse when he ain’t no man. If I got knocked up by a guy and he didn’t respect me enough to marry me I’d be far from showing the world what a girly-man mouse he really is. Dignity is not a word the vapid Jessica Simpson understands (the one time “role model” of waiting for sex within marriage). They should give her a TV show with Elliot Spitzer.

Looney bin is right! This rag should be only given out in mental hospitals and half-way houses nation-wide! Then given to aviary’s to line the bird cages (if the mental patients fail to use it as TP)!

(The poor child. These kids *ALWAYS* suffer. One of the most messed up kid of a famous celebrity (other than Bobbi-Kristina!) is Oliva Newton-John’s only child…who would have thought SHE would be a bad mum? Narcissistic mums always mess up their children and when the Mum is famous, that’s double-trouble!!!!)

Skunky on March 13, 2012 at 8:51 pm

    Well Skunky, I guess there are only the conception photos to put up now. That would make this sort of “Family Album” complete. That is where things are now. Jessica Simpson is having a litter of one.

    Worry01 on March 13, 2012 at 11:44 pm

    Skunky. Great post. One suggestion for the TV show. Ratface Spitzer is the wrong guy. John Edwards would be perfect!

    Herbster on March 14, 2012 at 8:45 am


What is happening is that our women are losing or have lost their sense of modesty. Things that should be private are now spread all over the internet. This is a long way from Ozzie
and Harriet.

Tripleog2010 on March 13, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Demi Moore, years ago, so yesterday.

Jo on March 13, 2012 at 10:49 pm

Debbie if B’H I were to knock you up I would not have you pose for a pregnant photo shoot. In fact I wouldn’t hardly bother you at all. I’ll even get a hot live-in maid who only speaks Swedish to help you out with the household chores. Also Debbie if we have to live in Detroit can we at least find a heimisch neighborhood?

A1 on March 13, 2012 at 11:34 pm

If I may state the obvious, between this posting and the previous one (about the Smart wedding), I have reached the conclusion that you (Debbie) spend way too much time within close proximity of magazine stands. I say this because I’m assuming that as a practicing attorney and movie reviewer, you wouldn’t have time to subscribe to any of them and actually read all the mindless tripe that’s inside.

Could anybody who regularly posts here possibly be interested in whatever the latest news is about the likes of Jessica Simpson, Demi Moore, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Mariah Carey or Nia Long, fully clothed and not pregnant?

If I were waiting in a doctor’s office and the reading material consisted of a choice between “People” “Us” “Cosmopolitan” “Elle” or “Highlights” I’d definitely choose the latter. “Goofus & Gallant” are of more interest to me than any of the women mentioned in the previous paragraph.

I: I neither subscribe to nor do I read Elle. But I do read many newspapers and you cannot get away from either of these stories. Also, I pay attention to pop culture, since that’s the greatest influence on the downfall of America right now. If you don’t pay attention to it and you are a commentator/social critic of any magnitude, you are sticking your head in the sand. DS

Irving on March 14, 2012 at 12:59 am

    Unfortunately, this sort of thing has a popularity outside of magazine covers. The women mentioned are not erotic models or porn stars pushing their products, but mainstream women in the entertainment industry. You do not have to be excited about the exploits of these women in order to be concerned with the consequences of what they are doing. Would it be just a Hollywood thing if your underaged daughter(if you ever had one)posed in such a way in front of a web or digital camera? On top of that, would it just be doctor’s office material if this daughter’s picture or more likely pictures were uploaded to a site, and then passed around for years? You might try reading the article again, and then you might get what the problem is.

    Worry01 on March 14, 2012 at 2:13 am

    It should be noted that when it comes to cultural expression and artistic license, Debbie’s views are libertarian.

    That said, she’s right about the pop culture. It sets the barometer for what is acceptable behavior and like it or not, people look up to celebrities as role models.

    Simpson is sending us the message that this kind of behavior is socially acceptable. Now its not like the Murdoch porno flick “Shame” (that Debbie reviewed reviewed before Christmas last year) is hitting the mainstream but I think the the title is an apt sign for our times.

    We’re losing our sense of social shame and the inhibitions that go along with it – faster than a pregnant Simpson poses in the nude for the cover of Elle.

    Its not something we can ignore looking at in Meijer even if Debbie or the rest of us for that matter ever opens that cover of Elle. Her point that we can’t escape it, as she wrote you in response, is a valid one.

    NormanF on March 14, 2012 at 12:37 pm

we got the same plague

muzzie_narried_to_jewish_girl on March 14, 2012 at 2:44 am

Ditto. Pure vanity for airheads that have illusions of beauty about their narcissistic selves. Bizarre, frankly. Borders on creepy.

pat on March 14, 2012 at 2:54 am

She’s also shown again in underpants with her babydaddy kissing her stomach.

A man kissing his preganat wife’s tummy could be a beautiful, tender moment IN PRIVATE!!!! You’re right about it being icky in a magazine picture.

Miranda Rose Smith on March 14, 2012 at 2:54 am

    A man kissing his pregnant wife’s tummy could be a beautiful, tender moment IN PRIVATE!!!! You’re right about it being icky in a magazine picture.

    Miranda Rose Smith on March 14, 2012 at 2:54 am


    Miranda Rose Smith on March 14, 2012 at 3:19 am

      I have no problem with that sort of affection between a husband and wife. It is making it a callous exhibitionist routine in a magazine that makes it awful.

      Worry01 on March 14, 2012 at 5:24 am

They think of themselves as museum pieces.

pat on March 14, 2012 at 2:55 am

    They think of themselves as museum pieces.

    pat on March 14, 2012 at 2:55 am

    I thought museum piece was an INSULT. I thought it meant OLD.

    Miranda Rose Smith on March 14, 2012 at 3:18 am

Either nudity is okay, or it isn’t. If it is, why is Jessica covering her nip and vagina w/ her hands? And if it isn’t, why’s she posing that way in the first place?

I agree w/ Worry01 – I guess the next step is conception videos, followed soon by the spermnastic olympics movies.

Infidel on March 14, 2012 at 5:19 am

    It is not the nudity that is the problem. It is a pregnant woman using a pregnancy to promote a fetish, which becomes obvious in the second photo. Something that should be a very private and intimate moment between a (preferably)married man and woman is turned into an exhibitionist stunt for a magazine. Even a quarter of a century ago, this would have been considered by the public to be soft porn and unfit for a supermarket shelf. Demi Moore broke that barrier, and now Jessica Simpson through Elle has given it rather explicit content with the second photo. Of course, we now have the spectcacle of Demi Moore has gone even further in recent years.

    Worry01 on March 14, 2012 at 5:34 am

^^ I disagree! If Jessica was fully clothed in both those cover shots, would Debbie even be writing this article? After all, the pictures would just be that of a normal woman, albeit pregnant. Nothing to see there.

Even the scene of the babydaddy kissing her womb, if she was fully dressed, would be barely worth noticing. Yeah, that too would still be TMI, but a lot less gratuitious than what’s been shown above.

Infidel on March 14, 2012 at 6:43 am

Incidentally, did Jessica Simpson yet marry Eric Johnson? I know this would normally be a ‘who cares’ question, but given that she’s bringing in another daughter into this world, seems like an appropriate question to ask

Infidel on March 14, 2012 at 6:54 am

    “Incidentally, did Jessica Simpson yet marry Eric Johnson? I know this would normally be a ‘who cares’ question, but given that she’s bringing in another daughter into this world, seems like an appropriate question to ask

    Infidel on March 14, 2012 at 6:54 am”


    Good one. 😉

    PitandPen on March 14, 2012 at 9:31 am

“She’s also shown again in underpants with her babydaddy kissing her stomach. Uggh. Yet another thing to file under the TMI category.”

If a celebrity who is a lesbian does this would it also be gross for her to appear in the photo with the test tube and/or turkey baster?

CornCoLeo on March 14, 2012 at 10:40 am

    A tender, loving moment between a husband and wife should remain private.

    If its public, its tasteless exhibitionism. Nothing romantic or loving about it.

    Its just more than I want to see. Remember what I wrote yesterday about the importance of boundaries! That applies especially to a situation like that one.

    NormanF on March 14, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Poor little Jessica. So vapid, so stupid. Is it chicken or fish? Debbie as usual you are spot on about this twit and her fellow twits with their need to be sensational. I remember when that picture of Demi Mooore can out. My sister was preggers with her first child and she told me back then how ickified it was. She knew then what I know now that we have lost all modesty in what we do. Jessica has been of her rocker ever since her divorce from Nick Lachey (whose current wife is a bit of an airhead also). This is an attempt to get the publicity rolling for when her album comes out in mid 2012. Skunky you are right about the celebstalkers. If Simpson and the other narcissistic jerks wouldn’t make everything so public maybe they would be better off.

Ken b on March 14, 2012 at 11:41 am

Its sad when you have to literally shed your clothes to get attention.

What person does that? And its not like Simpson exactly needed the money!

I won’t reiterate my comments from yesterday except to observe that just cuz we have a social trend doesn’t mean it worth aping.

And the Muslim World, though its full of hypocrites and hates us anyway, finds one less reason to admire us for our debauched lifestyle.

NormanF on March 14, 2012 at 12:27 pm

At an office party, I had made the mistake of asking a colleague’s wife, when she was expecting…she gave me an annoyed look and said she wasn’t pregnant…now that’s one to grow on!

Steve Epps on March 14, 2012 at 12:40 pm

There was an excerpt posted from her interview with Elle Magazine in which she states that “pregnant sex is the best” and that she has an insatiable appetite for sex when she’s knocked up.

Uh, isn’t that what got her there to begin with? This bimbo is dumber than a box of rocks (or ICE management…tough call).

IceNoMore on March 14, 2012 at 2:48 pm

    Now THAT is TMI! Do I really hear to hear about her sex life while she’s knocked up? Or that she thinks other people want to hear about it?

    That is even more disturbing than the photos! As for the imagery… well it leaves nothing to the imagination and like Debbie wrote, if you’re in love get a room! You shouldn’t share your most intimate moments with the world.

    What belongs between a man and a woman should stay private! Its no one else’s business.

    NormanF on March 14, 2012 at 5:12 pm

I am a photographer and refuse to do bare belly shots, but I see it all the time on the web.

Teresa Barrie on March 14, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Am I the only one that thinks (clothed or naked) pregnant women are beautiful? It isn’t a sick or aberrant attraction to me, and no, I’m not some kind of nudist. I just appreciate beautiful women.

That said, I still have the horrible image burned in my brain of the huge, obese #300 pregnant woman in a bikini I saw on a Lake Michigan beach ~35 years ago.

Dr Dale on March 14, 2012 at 10:55 pm

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