By Debbie Schlussel
Don’t expect the people in Hollywood to have a clue . . . ever.
Last night on ABC’s prime-time soap, “Desperate Housewives,” a Canadian-born character who is not a U.S. citizen was arrested and taken away in cuffs and a cop car. He asked a character to perpetrate marriage fraud with him, and she agrees. (Yup, the majority of marriage fraud is by Christian Canadians, not Muslim Arabs and some Latinos, right?) But before they can undertake the wedding and get the marriage license, the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents detain him.
Or do they? Nope. Actually the agents who arrest the man are from a mythical agency called “Immigration.” The word–and not ICE–is emblazoned on their jackets and shirts. Yup, there is no ICE on the fictional Wisteria Lane. Kind of like, there is no ICE in real-life America, with DHS chief Janet Napolitano a/k/a “The Lesbionic Woman” investigating agents for arresting illegal aliens and granting those aliens work permits to stay and work here. First, ICE gets snubbed by Michelle Obama, now by an ABC soap opera. It’s the Rodney Dangerfield of federal law enforcement.

ICE is Persona Non Grata on “Desperate Housewives”
But, hey, “Desperate Housewives” is written by a rich gay liberal, Marc Cherry, who long ago openly announced his detestation of all things conservative (and his support for Obama).
Can’t expect him to get things right. But it’s ironic that ICE can’t even get credit for the job–immigration enforcement–it’s now not allowed to do. Still, ICE pays someone to work with Hollywood, and clearly it’s not getting its money’s worth. (Time to fire that person and use the money on real immigration enforcement personnel and action.) Also ironic is that since ICE won’t be enforcing much immigration law (thanks to Napolitano and Obama policy), it will now focus on the function it’s largely neglected, customs law enforcement.
But, then, I got something wrong, too. As readers know, I write a lot about ICE. And recently, I wrote about a new “green,” eco-friendly immigration center in Detroit, which was designed specifically to be more friendly and “attractive” to alien immigrants.
I mistakenly referred to the center as an ICE building because the media reports referred to it as an “immigration center” and didn’t delineate which agency it was for. The story also referred to the old immigration building, which is the one that has always housed ICE’s DRO operations. But ICE agents recently informed me that they are stuck in their old, dark, dank building, and that this new building is for Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS)–you know, the agency I told you is soon to be headed by Alexander Mayorkas, freer of drug kingpins.
Sorry, ICE agents. You deserve the newer building more than the grunts at USCIS–who spend less than six minutes checking the background of each citizenship and green card applicant and rubber stamp the golden tickets of some of the most dangerous terrorists and criminals.