July 15, 2009, - 2:42 pm

Your Tax $$$s @ Work: DHS Chief’s New Terror Alert Bureaucracy

By Debbie Schlussel
Since the borders are secure, the 20 million illegal aliens in our midst have been apprehended and deported, and no one will ever again try to sneak weapons onto planes, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano a/k/a “The Lesbionic Woman” has her priorities in order.
J-No is concentrating her efforts on the important national security order of the day: scraping the color-coded terror alert system (you remember the orange, yellow, red levels, etc.) and coming up with her own new systerm of terror alert code.
This “model administrator” has already appointed a whole task force–a whole new mini-bureaucracy–to review the color alert system and issue findings. This committe will have staff, and it will publish its findings on this unimportant issue. Just how much will this brilliant committee and its review cost you, the American taxpayer? Well, that part is conveniently left out of The Lesbionic Woman’s press release about this.


(Lesbionic Woman Artwork by David Lunde/Lundesigns)

It’s ridiculous and a waste of time. Yes, the current colored terror alert system is silly. But it’s adequate. And multi-millions of dollars have been spent on it. There is no legitimate reason to change it.
So, why scrap it and spend millions more on a new and likely equally stupid system? There’s only one answer: So that J-No can look useful and important and put her own bureaucratic system in place, while feeling the grand sense of power in wasting more taxpayer gazillions on her new pet system of alerts.
This tells me one thing, a thing I already knew: that the DHS is in dire shape, it’s own condition is at red on the terror color chart. DHS’ stupidity, like this latest example, continues to put us at an unconscious Severe Risk on the terror alert system.
While Homeland Security officials are busy studying and analyzing color charts and systems, terrorists continue to plan our demise, while the agency supposedly charged with stopping them is doing the work of Sesame Street.

4 Responses

Homeland Security is bigger than the Defense Department but isn’t up to the task on two things: securing the borders and preventing future terrorist attacks. What you have is classic Washington red tape, turf protection and bureaucratic paralysis. We’ve been lucky since 9/11 but America’s luck won’t last forever.

NormanF on July 15, 2009 at 3:27 pm

Can we add lavender to the color code?

Kalifornia Kafir on July 15, 2009 at 3:45 pm

The color coded terror alert system is absolutely preposterous. Let’s face it – “terror” is itself a code word or euphemism for Muslim aggression, i.e. jihad, against the rest of us. Until we come to our senses and clearly apprehend the danger that an increasing Muslim population poses to the non-Muslim majority, and change our immigration policies (and actually enforce same once changed) to reflect this reality, the terror alert system is irrelevant, and will necessarily remain so, until it is based upon a direct positive correlation between the number of Muslims resident here and the degree to which the rest of us are, necessarily, threatened.

commonsense on July 15, 2009 at 9:23 pm

One addendum to my comment, above: Alternatively, to be meaningful, the terror alert system should reflect what is going on in the mosques and in other Muslim venues in America – to wit, the terror alert should be eased if and only if Muslim religious and community leaders publically disavow Islamic supremacy and the obligation of believers to make every effort to replace secular, constitutional law with Shari’a; reject the violent, intolerant (i.e. antisemitic and anti-Christian) passages in the Koran and Hadith collections; and admit that many of Muhammed’s deeds are in fact to be decried by modern Muslims and are not to be emulated (such as marrying six year old Ayesha and consummating the marriage with her only three years later; arranging for the murders of three poets critical of him; mass murdering Arabian Jews and enslaving and raping their women and children, etc.). Otherwise, terror warnings should remain high, and go higher as Muslims here increase in number. Such a Muslim reformation, of course, is about as likely as Debbie Schlussel’s eating a ham sandwich on Wonder bread with mayonnaise on Yom Kippur.

commonsense on July 16, 2009 at 1:13 am

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