February 4, 2013, - 4:35 pm

FUNNY VIDEO: The Iranian Space Monkey; Iran Announces Plans for Human Astronaut

By Debbie Schlussel

As you probably know, last week, Iran claimed it sent a monkey into space. But a number of news sources say it’s a hoax, based on the photos Iran presented which obviously used more than one monkey. In any event, today, Iran announced that within the next six years, it will send the first Iranian human into space. Hopefully, they’ll send Ahmadinejad and the Ayatollahs and leave ’em there, though Ahmadinejad will soon be term-limited out of the Iranian Presidency (yes, they have term limits there). Ironically, today, one week after this video, below, aired, Ahmadinejad volunteered to be the first Iranian astronaut. Life imitates art . . . or something. Whether or not that will actually happen and whether or not the monkey story is a hoax, this video is pretty funny. And you gotta watch until the end for the bonus classy “CNN Headline News Segue of the Day.”

Reader Peter R.:

While they’ve demonstrated the ability to have one of their monkeys survive a trip to space allegedly, they’ve never had one survive air combat against an American.

“Bar Keep, a bunch of bananas for my bare handed ass wiping friends, and shots of Patron for the rest of us.”


Exit Question: If they actually do have real monkey astronauts, are those monkeys Iranian monkey astronauts . . . or Persian monkey astronauts? The debate of our time ensues.


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37 Responses

Their new “stealth” fighter plane they’ve unveiled may not actually exist.

In the Middle East, its hard to distinguish fable from fact.

That said, the Iranians are always good for a laugh and endlessly entertaining!

NormanF on February 4, 2013 at 4:52 pm

That would be a great way for Iran to deal with their religious fanatics and tyrants. Just shoot ’em off into space. They should have sent Amadenajad instead of a monkey, because monkeys at least are good for something.

RT on February 4, 2013 at 5:01 pm

Guess what? The Iranians are laughing at us.

They will build an atomic bomb, because Obama did nothing to stop it.

Jonathan E. Grant on February 4, 2013 at 5:19 pm

    They will build or have they already built?

    Kershaw on February 5, 2013 at 11:06 am

I can’t laugh because that monkey looks miserable.

Seems to me they have term limits because Ahmadinejad is a show piece simpleton of a president not unlike their Russian style space program monkey and they need to at least ape western democracies to give people an excuse to take them seriously.

The other reason I can’t laugh is because their space program may be sham but they need a delivery system for their nukes and rocket development is probably a part of that.

But even if they lacked a delivery system the bigger problem could be who they share their nuclear materials and capabilities with.

Frankz on February 4, 2013 at 5:29 pm

That monkey does not look happy, poor thing.

Karen on February 4, 2013 at 5:32 pm

Outrage after McCain tweet compares Ahmadinejad, monkey

The Washington Times (Monday, February 4, 2013)

Sen. John McCain came under fire Monday after posting a tweet that compared Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to the monkey the Iranian government allegedly launched into space last week.

“So Ahmadinejad wants to be first Iranian in space — wasn’t he just there last week?” Mr. McCain, Arizona Republican, tweeted. Then he cited a recent Yahoo News story: “Iran launches monkey into space.”

The tweet currently has more than 2,000 retweets and comes after Mr. Ahmadinejad’s statement Monday about Iran’s space program, saying he is ready “to be the first man in space.”

Mr. McCain’s tweet quickly received harsh criticism, with many in the Twitterverse calling the senator’s comment “racist.”

Even Rep. Justin Amash, Michigan Republican, felt the need to chime in, tweeting, “Maybe you should wisen up & not make racist jokes.”

Mr. McCain posted a follow-up tweet, insisting the zinger was meant to be lighthearted: “Re: Iran space tweet – lighten up folks, can’t everyone take a joke?”

Read more: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2013/feb/4/outrage-after-mccain-tweet-compares-ahmadinejad-mo/#ixzz2JyQvBimw
Follow us: @washtimes on Twitter

Jonathan E. Grant on February 4, 2013 at 5:54 pm

    Yeah, John McCain should indeed apologize … to the monkey. How dare McCain equate the monkey to Ahmadinejad. The nerve of him insulting the monkey.

    JeffE on February 4, 2013 at 8:30 pm

If only McCain mirrored his anti-Ahmadinejad comments w/ actions that solidly opposed Muslims everywhere, he would have more credibility, and be more worthy of support on this issue.

Yeah, I too felt sorry for that Iranian monkey. But they’ll have other issues to bother about when they send Ahmadinejad, or any other Iranian Simian into space. A few years ago, when Malaysia sent up its first astronaut, that guy was obsessed about which is the direction to Mecca. The same issue would face any Islamic Republican astronaut as well.

The other thing – when Neil Armstrong made his moon landing, Muslims came up w/ that urban (or rural) legend about him hearing the azaan out there, and converting to Islam – something that he several times denied. If the Iranians land on the moon, wouldn’t all Muslims be looking up @ them? A better idea would be to send all the world’s 1.5 billion Muslims to the moon.

And leave them there.

Infidel on February 4, 2013 at 6:20 pm

Ahmadinejad volunteered to be the first Iranian astronaut?

The Iranians should be offered every possible encouragement to oblige him. Aloha Akbar!

lee of the lower case "l" on February 4, 2013 at 6:29 pm

Sorry, but Garbageinamad is not the only problem. The mullahs that are above him in the Supreme Council are even worse. They all have to go, along with the fundamentalists that support them.

Jonathan E. Grant on February 4, 2013 at 6:33 pm

    The world’s greatest engineering minds need to be put to work designing a Noah’s Spacecraft capable of accommodating the world’s entire Muslim population.

    lee of the lower case "l" on February 4, 2013 at 7:13 pm

Where’s PETA!!!!!!!!

Pam “Skank or Slut” (Whatever come first) Anderson should go to Iran and demand equal rights for the monkey.

Peter on February 4, 2013 at 6:53 pm

I saw shots of the rocket and nosecone where that poor creature was allegedly stuffed. The whole event seems doubtful, due to the small size of the rocket and its nosecone.

Worry01 on February 4, 2013 at 7:14 pm

Why was McCain’s comment racist? Was it racist against the monkey, or against Amadinejad? What race is Amadinejad? When his countrymen come to the U.S. and go on welfare and tax free status, what do they put down for race on the forms they have to fill out?

RT on February 4, 2013 at 9:21 pm

The only person people mock when they say Ahmadinejad resembles an ape is… Ahmadinejad. They’re not insulting Iranians as a whole. Although it is insulting to monkeys or apes to equate them w/ Ahmadinejad

Jon is right – he’s hardly the only problem. And even if Iran were to go fully democratic, there is absolutely nothing to suggest that they would jettison Islam. They love having their Shia lackeys wherever they are – Iraq, Lebanon, Bahrein, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Afghanistan, et al, and are hardly going to dump them to embrace, say, Zoroastrianism.

The only thing that’s gonna undo Islam in Iran and anywhere else would be an all out war in the same manner as WWII was to Japan. At the end of it all, Japan was occupied, and the central tenet of Shintoism – emperor worship – was abandoned. Same thing would have to happen here – the Islamic countries would have to be flattened by nuked before they cry uncle and apostatize from Islam in record numbers.

Of course, for that, first the Rest of the World has to recognize that there are problems w/ Muslims – not just the handful of us here on this site.

Infidel on February 5, 2013 at 6:39 am

Actually the monkey bore a better resemblance to Obamster…..

IceNoMore on February 5, 2013 at 11:09 am

But but but but…. I thought they say JOOOOOS are monkeys and pigs….. ???

SDF on February 5, 2013 at 11:36 am

Neat trick, but when will they train monkeys to highjack and fly airliners into American skyscrapers?

DS_ROCKS! on February 5, 2013 at 3:47 pm

this is the mullahs saying to Israel we have a rocket that can reach you and we can destroy you.this is exactly the kind of bull s**t that will force Israel to nuke iran and the rest of pisslam.all we need to do to put iran out of business is destroy their oil fields!

bruce on February 5, 2013 at 3:48 pm

    Bruce, when you say “we” who are u talking about? Are you ready to deploy there and combat on the ground or do u just want to drop a few nukes on Iran? What happens if they retaliate in defense and attack Israel with their own nukes? I’m glad to see that you’ve thought your plan through.

    The truth is Iran’s economy is currently being crippled by the sanctions being imposed on them, but how can any strategy President Obama uses be effective?

    Kershaw on February 6, 2013 at 1:00 am

SDF, a.k.a Simian Defence Force a.k.a Sam, a.k.a Saddam Deliverance type Fascist…

Yes, and when that becomes the official position of our heads of state and media we’ll be monkeys too but until then go and tell your wife what to think.

Frankz on February 5, 2013 at 3:51 pm

I know some people from iran who call them selves Persians and are not practicing muzzies.they were surprise that I knew that they spoke farsi and not Arabic.persia changed it’s to iran when they were kissing up to the Nazis in the late thirties.my wife bought a Persian Kitty from them who’s parents came from Persia after that they gave us a kitty that they sold to an arab who could not take care of her.when we got her she was a half starved crazy cat who took a while to trust us but she came around and is now a fat little sweety.

bruce on February 5, 2013 at 4:03 pm

Many in Iran hate the government, but when they revolted against the Islamic terrorist regime, in 2010, Obama did not support the people. Of course, his future Defense Secretary Hagel believes that the Iranian government is duly elected, so do not expect to see either this country support a new revolution, or attempt to stop the Iranian atomic bomb. This administration wants to see Israel destroyed.

Jonathan E. Grant on February 5, 2013 at 8:57 pm

    Joe Biden has been the point man with Iran from day1.
    The Mossad is manipulating this scenario.

    Jay on February 5, 2013 at 10:09 pm

Where is Skunky??? Is she in space? I miss her!

To honor her I have come up with two new nicknames for her because she was always a huge fan of that. There’s Skunky-Monkey or Skunky the space Monkey!

Iranian “space” program, what a joke! Do they mean taking up space?

Kershaw on February 6, 2013 at 12:51 am

Jon, many Iranians may hate their regime, but there’s absolutely nothing to suggest that they’d turn on Islam if they became free. They’d simply support different Ayatollahs, while they search for the ‘true Islam’

Infidel on February 6, 2013 at 3:06 am

Bruce, that may be true of some Iranians in the US. Near the place that I worked, there were 2 Persian churches, so it was a case of local Persians jettisoning Islam for Christianity and practicing there.

Iranians have never spoken Arabic, even after they embraced Islam in the 8th century after being conquered. But they were amongst the historical Islamizers of the region – helping Islamize southern parts of Turkistan, Afghanistan and large parts of India.

In fact, during the 12th century, they were ruled by a non-Muslim dynasty – the Ilkhanate of Hulegu Khan, and had the full freedom to revert to whatever they liked. During the Ilkhanate, Zoroastrians, Jews & Christians in Persia had the maximum religious freedom that they ever did since the fall of the Sassanid empire, but the Iranians who had embraced Islam did not re-embrace Zoroastrianism. Eight generations later, an Ilkhan contender to the throne embraced islam, and so that empire too became Muslim. However, note that a subsequent Iranian dynasty – Safavid – forcibly converted all Iranians – who were then Sunnis – to Shia Islam, which they’ve been ever since. That’s exactly the way Iranians (and anyone else) can be converted out of Islam.

Infidel on February 6, 2013 at 3:17 am



All desert monkeys with blood feuds going back centuries. No amount of scientific progress can cure this disease

steveba on February 6, 2013 at 9:32 am

    Oh look, it’s the anti-Semite steve baaaa.

    skzion on February 6, 2013 at 12:03 pm

steveba: well, one of those groups of “desert monkeys” have won over 1/4 of the world’s Nobels, moreoff (more off than on, you see).

The Israelis will deal with the Iranians appropriately. Wait and see. (Incidentally, Steveba, the Israeli-Iranian fued goes back to 1979. The Shah was a pal.)

Occam's Tool on February 6, 2013 at 11:56 am

Genuine PEACE will only begin after the ‘rapture’ and after the 7 year triblulation and then after the battle of Armeggedon. So it will be a while yet. In the meantime God says that “evil will get worse and worse.” It’s hard to believe that evil will get worse than it already is. God says it will and so it will be!!

Folks, we all need to repent of our sins and ASK Jesus to forgive us of our sins and then we need to ASK ASK Jesus to wash away all our sins with the blood of Jesus that Jesus shed on the cross for all of us reading this right now. There is no other way to escape the fires of eteranl HELL! Just bow your head right now and pray to God the things I just wrote above.

Can any reader here suggest a better way than what Almighty God has given to us for free?

Last word on February 6, 2013 at 2:38 pm

    “Last word” is a wet dream for liberals who want Jews to fear and/or loathe Christians. “Last word” wouldn’t murder millions of Jewish bodies, mind you–just millions of Jewish souls.

    Great way to attack a Christian-Jewish coalition against Islam, LW! I’m sure G-d is thrilled!

    skzion on February 6, 2013 at 7:27 pm

Kerslaw, I’m sure you’re used to girls who go missing when you turn up. Guess we’re stuck with your imbecilic attempts a humor instead.
Skunky if you’re out there please come back and give Kerslaw a smack down pulp fiction style.

“The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee.”

Frankz on February 6, 2013 at 4:06 pm

    I really do miss Skunky-Monkey!
    Frankz I love pulp fiction!! Could be the greatest of all time…

    Butch Coolidge: Are you okay?
    Marsellus Wallace: Nah, man. I’m pretty f@ckin’ far from okay [Zed screams]
    Butch Coolidge: What now?
    Marsellus Wallace: What now? I’ll tell you what now. I’m gonna call a couple of hard-pipe hittin’ ni&&as to go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow-torch. You hear me talkin’, hillbilly boy?! I ain’t through with you by a damn sight! I’ma get medieval on your ass!

    Kershaw on February 6, 2013 at 11:30 pm

P’Shaw has developed an A1-like fixation on Skunky.

skzion on February 7, 2013 at 10:38 am

I think you’re right skzion.
Kerslaw, you’re a medieval donkey’s ass and the sad thing is I think you really do miss Skunky because she was the only person that bothered to tell you to take a hike.

Frankz on February 7, 2013 at 5:42 pm

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