February 21, 2013, - 12:08 pm

Fisher-Price Did What?!: “Toy Equality” for Your Kids Gets Even More Ridiculous

By Debbie Schlussel

Your daughter can now take her place as a pirate, albeit sans eye-patch. So this is the new “gender equality” in toys.

My friend, Dena, recently looked into buying a Fisher-Price “Little People Lil Pirate Ship” for her toddler son. She noted that it comes with a female pirate in addition to the male one. She said:


Fisher-Price Gender Equality in Piratery

It’s good to know that the next generation will think of piracy as an equal opportunity profession.

Since boys will probably still be the majority of the audience for this toy, it’s probably also to teach boys that girls can be pirates, too, dammit! Well, it’s not exactly equal, as I noted, because the chick pirate still has both eyes. I guess she doesn’t do the “heavy lifting” (or any swashbuckling)–so we know that Fisher-Price pirate toy equality is exactly the same as real-life “equality.”

But until both pirates are Somali Muslims tied to Al-Qaeda, who kidnap and kill Americans, then the toy isn’t exactly accurate.

Exit Question: How many female pirates throughout history can you name? Long Jill Silver? How many female pirates do you know of today? (Women wearing pirate Halloween costumes don’t count. Sorry.)

I rest my case.


Yes, I’m well aware that if you google “female pirates,” you’ll get results. But that’s the point. If you have to google it, you make my case. Historically, the vast majority–like 99%–of pirates were men (and still are–how many female Somali Muslim pirates have you seen?). Most people can’t name a single female pirate. Pirate equality in toys is stupid.

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49 Responses

ICE detained Emad Burnat, the Arab director of an anti-Israel film at LAX. He was subsequently released and will be allowed to attend the Oscars this Sunday.

He should have been deported. But when it comes to foreign visitors here, some are more equal than others on ICE’s Animal Farm.

Now back to the subject of this post. If you think about it, glorifying Islamic terrorists isn’t very different from glorifying 18th Century pirates. Maybe Fisher-Price Toys can come with a cute little suicide bomber girl toy figure dressed up in a burqa and outfitted with explosives chic. You know its not such a big step forward (or is that in truth backward?) anymore.

Just the kind of “female equality” Islamic terrorists the world over approve of. It all starts with pirates… gotta have role models for the kids! Thanks Fisher-Price, for making the world a kinder and gentler place for all.

NormanF on February 21, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    So we object to them making toy pirates? Talk about overthinking things. We’ve been making that kind of brand of the pirates with the swashbuckling and the eyepatches for at least 80 years.
    That’s the problem with our culture nowadays. We’re too sensitive. Our culture gets outraged over the most minor, trivial things.

    Tim on February 24, 2013 at 12:10 am

Did you hear about the PlayMobil (I think that is the right name…) play-set that is for sale that depicts bank robbery? It comes with a bandit (w/ gun) and the whole bank and bank employees to hold up.

I think that’s a pretty disgusting toy in 2013…but then again, almost everything in 2013 is disgusting (I am sad to say).

This kooky pirate toy is a nice bookend to the other horrible toy. Sad.

Skunky on February 21, 2013 at 12:30 pm

    Kids have always played “cops and robbers” or other variations on good guys vs. bad guys. The only difference is there was usually a whole passel of kids to take the various parts and switch roles. Now families are smaller, kids don’t play spontaneously but must arrange “play dates” so any sort of imaginary play is done with these inanimate figures. If the kid is taught morality and values, he can take the part of the hero/cop and foil the bank robbers. Doesn’t have to be all bad.

    Italkit on February 21, 2013 at 11:49 pm

      Italkit, when I was growing up we had the “Sunshine Family”, The “Tree House Family” and the Barbie Townhouse. YES, kids played cops & robbers but most kids wanted to be the cops NOT the robbers.

      This play-set sets a bad example by making a bank robbery toy that focuses on robbing the bloody bank. That’s disgusting! Where is the “Red-Light District” playset with skanky whores and pervo men? Where is the
      “Crack-House” play set with with scummy needles, crackheads, meth-mouth losers and a condemned shack? Where is Fisher Prices’s “In Da Ghetto” with a bunch of project losers, shack-up no-hopers and baby mamas galore?

      You’re older than me Italkit. You should know what I am alluding to! Jeez!

      Skunky on February 22, 2013 at 11:16 am

        Skunky, that’s what I’m saying. This lets the kids imagine they’re the cops and stopping the bank robbery. When we played cops and robbers or cowboys and Indians, no one wanted to be the bad guys but every one took turns doing so. We KNEW it was make believe and being a bank robber was not something to aspire to. FTR, My daughter was not allowed to have a Barbie because of the skank factor.

        Italkit on February 23, 2013 at 2:38 pm

I’m a big admirer of your work Debbie but it’s perhaps worth pointing out that there were in fact female pirates, at least 2 of them. Anne Bonney and Mary Reade, both very formidable. Though they initially dressed as men they were able to reveal themselves in time, I believe. Quite a tale.

T: Thanks! I’m definitely aware that there were (a very, very few) female pirates. But most were men and most still are men. And most people couldn’t name a single female pirate. Historically, he vast majority–about 99%–were men. But thanks for sharing the names, as I’d never heard of these two. DS

Tim on February 21, 2013 at 12:53 pm

    Debbie is 100% correct – most folks could not name a female pirate. Most folks cannot name one of their senators, a supreme court justice, their congressman, etc. However, I’m sure many sheeple could name the winner of American Idol…I prefer to call it “American Idle.” However, I’m glad to see that FINALLY there is “Toy equality.” After all, this is really an issue of civil rights. Didn’t obambi mention toy equality in his scam of the union speech? The A.P. now decided that the terms “His husband,” and “Her wife” will be used in their articles. What happens if “His husband” gets a sex change operation in order to marry Janet (Jack) Napolitano and become “Her wife?” The mind is boggled…….and the lawyers will be lining up. After all, if there is a “Divorce,” who gets the gender neutral, toys of equality? The mind continues to be boggled.

    Victoryman on February 22, 2013 at 10:12 am

There are extremely few toys for boys these days. A great case in point is Dora. While she does all sorts of adventures, her cousin Diego is an animal loving wuss, who doesn’t do any of the things Dora does.

Of course, these days, toy soldiers are out of fashion, so forget about teaching boys about the valor in fighting. You can’t have toy guns or monster action figures in schools. The wussification of boys is getting to the point that if the Muslims wait us out long enough, they’ll have a superior army to what the West has.

Infidel on February 21, 2013 at 1:01 pm

Where do we go from here? I guess the next idea will be a toy embezzler. Someone for instance like Jesse Jackson Jr.

Or maybe a toy adulterer, like the attempted rehabilitator, Mark Sanford, now working on his comeback.

Complete with equal opportunity models.

Little Al on February 21, 2013 at 1:19 pm

    @Little Al–

    Hasn’t Fisher-Price already announced their new Desperate Housewives kit?

    Red Ryder on February 21, 2013 at 2:42 pm


Yes, female pirates were rare, but they were not non-existent. Did you know that a fair number of pirates were Jewish? Why you ask? Well, the Spanish continued the Inquisition and brought it to the New World, such that as late as the 18th Century, a number of Jews were being burned for not converting to Judaism (Peru, etc.) Some Jews, with a wink and a nod from the English, became pirates, attacking Spanish ships as vengeance for the massive slaughter of what has become known as the Sephardic Jews.

I am not too troubled by this toy. I leave you with the pirate saying, “Yo ho ho and a bottle of Schnaps.”

JEG: I have quite a few books on pirates, including the Jewish ones, and it is not correct to say “a fair amount of the pirates were Jewish.” Most pirates–the vast majority–were not Jewish. And, in fact, a far larger number/percentage of the pirates were Arab Muslims. Thus, the term, the “Pirates of Barbary.” DS

Jonathan E. Grant on February 21, 2013 at 2:19 pm


    You are correct. By “fair number” I did not mean that they were the majority or a plurality. However, they were historically significant, for the fact of what they did and why.

    Jonathan E. Grant on February 21, 2013 at 2:24 pm

    No, Debbie, not the majority but the one who helped Andrew Jackson save New Orleans from the Brits was. His name was Jean Lafitte. There is a book “Jewish Pirates of the Caribbean” and they were quite common.

    I: I actually have and read that book. They were not “quite common,” contrary to your claim. RIF–Reading Is Fundamental. DS

    Italkit on February 21, 2013 at 3:18 pm

      Debbie, you need to take a break from movies. You have fallen into the “15 minutes of fame trap” that no one counts unless they’re famous or well known. Someone down thread mentioned a couple of women pirates with all female crews. There are probably more that history hasn’t recorded. We dont’ have names of the Barbary Pirates, just general information that they were a problem. For all we know, some might have been women and if you really READ history, RIF, the more obscure documents of any era, you will find women doing the things a biased and populist view of history says, women never and were never allowed to do. With their husbands going off to fight other warlords, the women of the Middle Ages were the ones at home running the Castle and Estates, for example. There were women studying, practicing and TEACHING medicine in 10th C. Italian universities. RIF, Debbie, but you gotta first get the material to read.

      Italkit on February 21, 2013 at 11:56 pm

The most famous woman pirates were:
Anne Bonny (1719-1720) Female Pirate of the Caribbean

Mary Read – Famous English Female Pirate of the Caribbean

Lady Killigrew (1530-1570)

Grace O’Malley – Famous Irish woman pirate who commanded three galleys and 200 men

Mrs. Peter Lambert of Aldeburgh, Suffolk

Jacquotte Delahaye – Female Pirate of the Caribbean

Anne Dieu-le-veut – Female Pirate of the Caribbean

Charlotte de Berry – Woman pirate

Mrs Ching – Chinese wife of a pirate who turned to Piracy after his death

Mary Crickett (or Crichett) was a female pirate who was hung

Jonathan E. Grant on February 21, 2013 at 2:21 pm

    Yep! and what’s wrong with Googling? That’s what it’s there for. This IS the 21st C. It’s the modern alternative to the card catalog and reference section of the library.

    Italkit on February 21, 2013 at 3:20 pm

      Nothing is wrong with googling per se. The problem is, that because of the tremendous scope of the internet it is easy to throw all kinds of irrelevant data onto this post.

      An internet search can dredge (pardon the pun) dozens of female pirates who are deservedly obscure, but since the internet does not differentiate as to importance, there they are.

      Similarly, when a post is entered, an internet search can turn up massive amounts of data, tangentially relevant, but only tangentially. A flood of knowledge better left buried because it is pedantic, and those who flood this blog with such material seem unable to make distinctions about the importance of such data. It is on the internet, so let’s paste it on, and show how smart we are. Plastering a post with internet garbage shows how smart we are, and how much knowledge we were able to paste on the post, even if only marginally (at best) relevant. A factual and irritating nuisance. We have lost the ability to categorize comments based on how responsive they are to the arguments in the post.

      Female pirates is a good example. Like all the dissertations about ‘lost’ female composers, artists, writers, mathematicians, etc., material is dug up via the internet about figures better left obscure.

      Where in all the posts about female pirates, is an analysis of their relevance or importance? Never mind — they are somewhere on the internet so they must be as important as the male pirates who have been part of our culture for centuries.

      Little Al on February 21, 2013 at 7:20 pm

Easy solution- tell the kid the lady figure is the pirate’s wench or a hostage ready to battle over being made to walk the plank. And aside from the lack of facial hair on the figure, no reason it can’t pass muster as a second male pirate. If you don’t want to tell a kid a PC story about female pirates, then don’t.

But more ridiculous to me would be the warning that the toy is not for kids under 3 (choking hazard from small parts) but the product pictures show a kid that looks considerably younger than 3 playing with it, followed by the Manufacturer’s recommended age of 24 months- 5 years.

Robert on February 21, 2013 at 2:26 pm

Actually, Fisher Price has plastic molds for girls and boys. Depending on what the theme is, they had the appropriate costume features. In this case, for the purpose of the production run, they used a female pirate so they could run off twice as many pirates.

I suspect this is more a matter of dollars and cents than it is political correctness. On the other hand, maybe the female pirate is Nancy Pelosi. She has been robbing the American public for years.

Jonathan E. Grant on February 21, 2013 at 2:58 pm

But wait– that female pirate doesn’t appear to be Caucasion– I smell a law suit in the making for such blatant racism…

SDF on February 21, 2013 at 3:06 pm

I can think of some more female pirates. There are Shrillary, Madeleine Albright (sic), Michelle Obama, and a number of others who plunder and appropriate what is not rightfully theirs.

Little Al on February 21, 2013 at 3:06 pm

Somebody had to keep the ship clean, cook, etc.

Panhandle on February 21, 2013 at 3:16 pm

It’s kind of cute really

Frankz on February 21, 2013 at 3:24 pm

Piracy is as old as shipping. The Somalis didn’t invent it and neither did Mohammed. Get a grip.

Italkit on February 21, 2013 at 3:24 pm

Only you can make issue out of nothing. Not surprise by the subject. As always, you never fail to make me laugh. Keep up the hate DS!!!

Jalen on February 21, 2013 at 4:01 pm

Romanticizing piracy has been common in literature and film for a long time, but it sends an incorrect message nowadays if kids equate what they watch in Johnny Depp movies with what they hear about Somali pirates and think that the muslims in Somali are “just like us except on paper.”

DS_ROCKS! on February 21, 2013 at 4:49 pm

Some of the most notorious pirates of all time were female. Mary Reed. Anne Bonney. There was an Irish woman. And a Chinese woman who had the largest pirate fleet in history.

Fleiter on February 21, 2013 at 5:04 pm

Actually, the real problem here is turning pirates into toys. They are, after all, nothing but the carjackers of the sea.

Fleiter on February 21, 2013 at 5:05 pm

“Equality” is manmade. It is not found in the animal kingdom that we reside in. Women should not try to do all the things a man can do nor should men try to be like women…there are some laws of nature that should not be violated.

Making these type of toys only shows me that they are now focusing on our children with their hurtful agendas.

MagnoliaFlower on February 21, 2013 at 5:13 pm

It is the progressive insanity penetrating into more and more areas of daily life. Gender neutral toys are now no longer odd things you just hear about.

Worry01 on February 21, 2013 at 5:37 pm

What, another polak attack?

skzion on February 21, 2013 at 5:42 pm

    (I was responding to a sudden problem with the comments here yesterday.)

    skzion on February 22, 2013 at 8:54 am

If a female pirate tried to plunder my treasures, I wouldn’t be that worried. I’d just make her walk the plank and keep sailing on.

Bomb on February 21, 2013 at 7:00 pm

Maybe she can put the female pirate inside the Eazy-bake oven they’re making for boys and put it out of its misery.

JeffT on February 21, 2013 at 7:19 pm

The female pirates don’t have an eye patch? Maybe they’ll make some with a hook or peg leg, ARRRR!!!

CornCoLeo on February 21, 2013 at 8:08 pm

A female pirate and not a cabin boy? Is F-P anti-gay or anti-pedophile??? It seems that they are bucking the liberal, promoting trend of today. Heterosexuality is sooo passe today.

Pats on February 21, 2013 at 8:23 pm

And to elaborate a little further on my previous comments about pasting internet data, it reminds me a little bit of sticking numbers into a formula, or depending on calculators (now computers) rather than thinking things through.

Pasting whatever comes up under ‘female pirates’ or some such term is not a substitute for reasoning, analysis, or thinking of the subtleties, extensions, and implications of what others have had to say.

Little Al on February 21, 2013 at 9:22 pm

What Fisher Price is trying to do is capitalize where other companies have already. These small toys are coming back in favor with girls, and they want in on the action. Lego profits went up 25%, mainly due to their Lego Friends line designed for girls (I know, I have nieces that love them). That, coupled with the Disney ride and movie series, is what they’re attempting to exploit. It used to be that toy companies focused their girl lines on baby dolls, Barbie dolls, and associated accessories. Small, imaginative-play figurines were concentrated on males. Lego has now proved this is a big market for girls too. The bigger issue is the whole romanticizing of pirates, who were for the most part terrorists, thieves, rapists and goons. But with Veggie Tales pirates and Backyardigan pirates and these other adorable characters playing pirates on TV, this is what kids see, and subsequently want. it’s business.

please on February 21, 2013 at 10:17 pm

Well, speaking of sound bites, cutting and pasting from the internet is kind of equivalent to sound bites. Most scholarly books today don’t even list the internet in their footnotes or endnotes, and even the few that do, place internet sources in an extremely subordinate role.

Little Al on February 22, 2013 at 1:15 am

Pirates also served a political role, sometimes. The Brits encourages some pirates to go out and attack Spanish ships. Of course, the Brits did not take kindly to Spanish pirates attacking British ships.

Of course, the biggest female pirates today are Nancy Pelosi and Senator Reid of Nevada(come one, “he” is so bitchy he must be a girl).

Jonathan E. Grant on February 22, 2013 at 7:33 am

now that the trailblazing panetta has set the new standard for all-things-combat, the somali pirates need to follow suit and get some chicks out there off the african coastline.

kirche on February 22, 2013 at 11:45 am

It’s cute but I did notice that the Pirates are dressed in red, white and blue – the colors of the American flag.
A coincidence? Maybe.
Well if they’re equal opportunity pirates then they would have to be western pirates so they get points for honesty as far as that goes anyway.

Frankz on February 22, 2013 at 3:16 pm

There has been a belief for centuries that women on ships at sea was bad luck. The idea was still going strong when I served back in the 1960’s. Now the U.S. Navy has floating birth centers- the old superstition was right.

Bobby99 on February 22, 2013 at 4:22 pm

What an outrage!!! We all should boycott fisher price for this, they are promoting those Mooozlim teggaists. This article is genius. Please do tell me where u get all this exciting info from Debbie? Marvelous work, keep up the fight Debster.

Mike Hunt on February 22, 2013 at 5:25 pm

I support the good work DS does, but this feels like it’s not that important. I assume there’s been thousands of pirate toys by now, so it feels like old news.

Tim on February 24, 2013 at 12:23 am

Doesn’t Fisher-Price know “Cutthroat Island” bombed at the box office???

Alan on February 27, 2013 at 6:29 pm

I agree with most of your posts, but in this case I disagree.. I support pirate gender equality.

PP206 on March 1, 2013 at 10:21 am

The problem lies in the fact that barbarous lifestyles are being forced upon our children and it cant be stopped due to the misinterpretation of freedom thats been fed to us by the same people selling these disgusting toys. I can just imagine a somali pirate who recently raped,killed and plundered innocents buying this toy for his kids. I believe a they should only be sold in somali shops. I could go on for days but i hope my message is understood, that negatives should not be masked as positive games for western kids, lest we be barbarous ourselves…well what do you know..

EVANGELOS on April 8, 2013 at 12:30 am

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