March 25, 2014, - 4:40 pm

Dear Narcissistic Exhibitionist Men on Instagram . . .

By Debbie Schlussel

Dear Narcissistic Exhibitionist Men on Instagram:

“I Need Attention: Look @ My Unit!”

No, I don’t want to see your penis in a sock. No, it isn’t increasing awareness of testicular cancer (if you’re a man with testicles, I’d imagine you’re well aware, but if not, the sock thing won’t, um, “enhance” the awareness in any way, sagging shape, or shrunken form). No, you aren’t a supermodel. I never thought I’d wish the stupid planking trend was back, but you’ve forced me into that position. And here’s a tip: unless you’re planking with your penis, I don’t wanna see it. And even that, I don’t wanna see. And you are different from the cheesy naked Burt Reynolds centerfold in Cosmo in the ’70s . . . how?


You are everything that’s wrong with America. “Hey, I’ll show everything but my c-ck if it gets me attention!” Now go away. Your 15 minutes are up. Yours and your pubic hair’s, which I also didn’t need to see from you, a self-obsessed stranger.

It figures that the liberal morons at Buzzfeed (who love Islam but hate conservatives) think this is just awesome. Ditto for GQ, which calls it, “Stuff Your C-ck in a Sock for Cancer.”

Exit Question: why is it less respectable when nude gay models make money posing like this without the sock, but just fabulous when these narcissistic frauds pretend they are doing this for cancer? Just askin’.

TMI, guys. TMI.

Exit Question #2: how many of these exhibitionist narcissists voted for Obama? I’m guessin’ north of 100%.

I guarantee they aren’t doing this genitals in a sock for cancer BS in the Muslim Brotherhood or Al Qaeda. Nope. They’re busy laughing at this dumbassity and planning for our destruction. But you keep instagrammin’ your penises, idiots.

Hey, I saw all those pics, and I note no increase in testicular cancer awareness yet. Shocking.

19 Responses

haha, pretty funny…..and youre right about the voting record

HK on March 25, 2014 at 4:44 pm

It does’t have an audience… beyond gay men into these things.

And few men look good without clothes on which is wby they’re usually anonymous in porno films.

Speaking of TMI, I definitely don’t want gay porn to go mainstream.

NormanF on March 25, 2014 at 4:45 pm

To quote Seinfeld.

Elaine: “Whoa! Walking around naked? Ahh… that is not a good look for a
George: “Why not? It’s a good look for a woman.”
Elaine: “Well, the female body is a… work of art. The male body is
utilitarian, it’s for gettin’ around, like a jeep.”
Jerry: “So you don’t think it’s attractive?”
Elaine: “It’s hideous. The hair, the… the lumpiness. It’s simian.”
George: “Well, some women like it.”
Elaine: “Hmm. Sickies.”

john on March 25, 2014 at 5:11 pm

    I never knew Elaine was a lesbo.

    skzion on March 27, 2014 at 6:24 pm

I shudder to think that the current crop of leaders and enablers, when asked “what was the song of your Generation?” will answer “Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?” And their kids the current crop of parents graduating missy and junior when asked will reply 2 Live Crew “Pop That P*ssy” and the current kids graduating high school will reply as to their anthem Kanye West, “Bound 2”.

It sure ain’t Schubert or Itzhak Perlman, huh?

Jack on March 25, 2014 at 5:12 pm

At least I haven’t heard much about neknominate recently.

Frankz on March 25, 2014 at 5:21 pm

So you’re saying I should un send all the pictures I sent you? Damnit. Maybe I will try sticking my tongue out with a group of whores I met at a club. Or maybe me leaning against someone elses luxury car. My final move would of course be a gym picture. If none of these work, you are impossible to crack.

Forsberg on March 25, 2014 at 9:01 pm

I have neither Twitter nor Instagram. A waste of time.

Jonathan E. Grant on March 25, 2014 at 9:57 pm

What came first,women acting like lesbians or men acting like attention whores?They seem to be adopting the worst qualitys of the opposite sex

gordez on March 26, 2014 at 1:01 am

[conspiracy] C’mon guys. We all know that Muslims hate gays that they don’t like. I suspect that they’re behind the wussification of men as a form of divide-and-conquer in their march to re-establish the glorious Caliphate. Since they hate whiteys and Jews and everyone else not related to them (and not speak God’s language, for god’s sake), they encourage decadence and debauchery on an increasingly escalatory scale. These people must be stopped. Like, now, eh? [/conspiracy]

Honestly, I tweet, tumble and instagram as part of my own artistic process and am too happy to share my thoughts. These guys showing off their junk? Forget them: they’re morons.

Now, are we at war with the Russians or not? It’s way past my bedtime – Total Domination, Stormfall and Soldiers, Inc. can take a lot out of a slacker like me.

Love, Jacques.

The Reverend Jacques on March 26, 2014 at 3:05 am

Here’s a better idea. Instead of using a sock why don’t these guys cover themselves up with a bedsheet? Then it could be “Hide Your Meat with a Sheet for Cancer.” I think we can ALL support that.

Sean M on March 26, 2014 at 8:52 am

Let’s be honest…what this boils down to is “Dumb Sh*t by a Twit for Cancer”

Sean M on March 26, 2014 at 8:55 am

Let’s be honest…what this boils down to is “Dumb Sh*t by a Twit for Cancer”

Sean M on March 26, 2014 at 8:55 am


HK on March 26, 2014 at 9:57 am

I’m confused. Not sexually, however. What is this about? How did “we” manage to raise such a crop of complete idiots? So, these moronic twits are sending photos to Debbie just for kicks or what? Maybe it’s good that I don’t get it.

Pray Hard on March 26, 2014 at 12:29 pm

Satan is really stirring the pot these days.

First, we had SaBrett Favre. Then we had Anthony’s Weiner. It is quite possible somewhere in the world, there may be pictures of Barney’s Frank and Tiger’s Wood. Not to mention RayJ, and a host of rappers before and after him. What’s with the World Weewee Exposition?

I have a dream.

I also have a little ditty. No, not that ditty, a poem, if you will. LOL!!!

For all you gents bent on dropping your pants,
May your ding dong be subject to a swarm of fire ants.

And I have first hand knowledge, on several occasions, of what a fire ant attack is like. There was one time in particular, the first, quite an experience. Thankfully they didn’t get “down there,” but they got plenty other places, though mainly my hands.

Alfredo from Puerto Rico on March 26, 2014 at 1:17 pm

Question #3: Why is pubic hair curly?

Answer? So it doesn’t poke you in the eye!

FriscoKid on March 27, 2014 at 12:27 pm

The sick and funny part of this is this article was written by a gay guy. All these straight guys posed for and the gays men are ogling them. Secretly I bet these guys park in the rear.

The Chosen One on April 1, 2014 at 10:30 am

I am the sexual exhibitionist Christofer Döss aka the cum eating bisexual cock sucker and nude model nakencrille.

Christofer Döss sexual exhibitionist on April 10, 2017 at 6:19 pm

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