May 5, 2014, - 3:36 pm

Kidnapped Like a Kardashian: The Sequel – Joan Rivers Blacklisted by PC Kidnappee Brand Builders

By Debbie Schlussel

Joan Rivers is caught up in controversy for joking about something I pointed out a couple of years ago: that former kidnap victims are a fame-seeking “brand” you can’t touch . . . even though many of them are trying harder to become Kardashians than even the Kardashians.


I’ve covered the topic of kidnap victims constantly seeking the spotlight, even selling merchandise, and so on. I wrote about it in “Kidnapped Like a Kardashian,” and I was attacked left and right by defenders of these former kidnappees who sell their wedding photos to People, appear in fashion spreads, and try to create a brand. I was kidnapped and raped, now buy my stuff! It’s sad. And it’s sick. As I pointed out, it’s not like Jaycee Dugard or Elizabeth Smart are hurting for money. Both are now worth several million dollars (nearly $30 million in Dugard’s case). Yet, they write and sell books, products, and photos. (And Smart is ABC News’ “kidnapping consultant,” as if she’s some sort of law enforcement expert who will help you avoid your kid being kidnapped.) Enough, already.

Rivers was dumped by Norwegian Cruise Lines because she joked that, living with her daughter Melissa Rivers, she has less room than even the victims of Cleveland kidnapping victims of Ariel Castro (who were also raped). Tasteless, yes. Funny, not really. But it’s typical Joan Rivers stuff. And in our PC world, even she can’t say any of that anymore. Or so she’s being told. Rivers isn’t apologizing and, this morning on ABC’s yenta hag-fest, “The View,” she attacked Norwegian Cruise Lines and Norwegians in general, saying she won’t back down. But Rivers is a hypocrite because she backed down from calling Michelle Obama, “Blackie O” (a joke she plagiarized from this site), and said she would stop using it because it offended people. Yes, Rivers isn’t the anti-PC warrior she would have us believe. Still, America needs to get its sense of humor back and stop being so sensitive.

And, regardless of that, I’m tired of seeing these women who endured the horrors of Ariel Castro’s captivity. Aren’t you?

Yes, it is tragic, but they survived, and they got oodles of money in a settlement with the City of Cleveland, even though there is no evidence that the Cleveland Police Department “should have discovered” them–the whine that the kidnap victim industry’s lawyers constantly wail. It’s time to move on, retreat to private life, and live that life (out of the public eye). I don’t need to hear the details about this now-dead dirtbag captor of yours and how he raped you. I kinda get the picture. But Michelle Knight wrote a whole book about it, thinking the world needs to know every detail (it doesn’t) and–cha-ching!–cashing her big, fat advance check. This morning, she was on NBC’s “Today Show”–complete with garish red lipstick and multiple hideous face-piercings–pimping her new book.

And she’s all over the media telling us that she forgives her captor/rapist/tormentor. Do I care? Um, not really? Does she really forgive him? I doubt it. But, otherwise what else is there for her to say to make news after we’ve already had excessive wall-to-wall coverage of her kidnapping rescue and experience? Only a moron would forgive a person who tortured and raped her in captivity for years. Sorry, but kissing the other cheek is a foreign concept for me. A stupid concept. I wouldn’t forgive a man who stole ten or whatever number of years of my life and raped me in a basement. People who do are weak or just lying fame-seekers. I couldn’t give a crap which of these Knight is (probably both). I just wish she would shut up and go away, for everyone’s sake. Live your life (out of the spotlight). MOVE. ON. But, no, when she attends a Nelly concert, we all need to be alerted. Because, after all, she was kidnapped and raped. That’s why!

I wonder which idiotettes in America (and let’s face it–women are the ones buying these books and sustaining this silly industry) have the money and time to waste on this unfortunate murder of trees. But, then, I don’t ponder this too seriously because I saw the answer: the two-thirds who voted for Obama. They can buy this book and waste time on it, because you are busy working and paying for their ObamaCare, ObamaPhones, and other entitlements.

And this isn’t the first or last time we’ll see this woman. Every time Michelle Knight appears on stage with a band–and there have been several such incidents–I’m told about it in the newspaper. Every time she says anything or thinks she has something to say, she’s on the “Today” show on NBC or ABC’s “World News Tonight” or “20/20” or “Nightline.” It never ends. I don’t get the reasoning. I was kidnapped and raped, so now whatever I have to say has meaning and must be revomited by the media? Well, I guess that is the very definition of a Kardashian . . . other than the fact that in that family’s case the sex is voluntary, on film, and available for sale. In Michelle Knight’s case, while the sex wasn’t voluntary, the visuals are brought to you in writing in her book, also available for sale.

So, I’m not too worried about what Joan Rivers is saying or that she joked that, in a few years, Knight and the other two surviving victims of Castro will be on “Dancing with the Stars.”

Don’t bet against that.

Michelle Knight has seen taste after taste of the spotlight. And, like the pioneers in the kidnapette brand industry, Elizabeth Smart and Jaycee Dugard, she’s gone from involuntary kidnap victim to very voluntary media seeker.

Here’s a tip: if you have a publicist, you cease to be a victim. Now, you’re just an attention whore.

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14 Responses

In a victimology society, there is a slippery slope. If one victim (or former victim) is ridiculed, it is easier to criticize the next one. Who knows? Maybe affirmative action beneficiaries or illegal aliens might be next, or the unemployed bums and loafers.

Little Al on May 5, 2014 at 4:09 pm

And, after all, none of them are capable of thinking, so they have to talk about how they “feel.”

Little Al on May 5, 2014 at 4:19 pm


I’ll say it: she’s a whore.

Not in the sense of prostituting her body but really in prostituting her image and soul out to the world to get paid.

What she’s doing with the media is no different from what hookers do with their johns.

Its beneath a victim of a violent crime. Its time for Michelle Knight and the rest of them to move on.

Plus, its TMI to hear about what the scum did to them. We don’t need to know about evil to understand its depraved.

Let the PC Kidnappee Brand Builders have it at for me for being insensitive, uncaring, insulting, cruel, heartless and whatever. The truth speaks for itself.

NormanF on May 5, 2014 at 4:19 pm

Joan Rivers one of the last honest comedians. She’s real.
Its a bad thing when comedians and iennes, can’t tell jokes anymore. A sad day.

Big D on May 5, 2014 at 5:32 pm

The problem is that the American public devours this garbage. As a result, the networks put it out there. The more salacious the better. If our society wasn’t filled with nitwits who actually focused on important issues instead of what they are fed by the talking heads and other yentas on TV, this trash wouldn’t “sell” and we wouldn’t see it on TV. Unfortunately, it does sell and we will continue to see it.

Jeff on May 5, 2014 at 5:48 pm

Debbie, at the start of the OT, you clarified when you wrote a few similar articles to this one in the past, that you were attacked by half-witted morons on the left-wing and the right-wing who are incapable of using critical-thought and common-sense.

You know what DS, the more I get older in life (not too old, still relatively a young man), the more I realized that they’re a handful of dumbasses on both the right and the left, the right watches WAY too much Fox News and listens to too much conservative talk-radio shows, whilst, the left watches WAY too much MSNBC, etc. Now to the OT, this could be for “profiting” what this girl is doing and also for PR reasoning as well, that’s what I think at the end of the day, that they’re doing it for the big-money?

Sean R. on May 5, 2014 at 5:50 pm

So glad she was able to come out.

HK on May 5, 2014 at 8:23 pm

A while back, I watched a TV special of Rivers performing in front of a live audience, I believe in Vegas…not sure. Before long, she began making Anne Frank jokes (e.g. Anne Frank fell out of the overhead luggage storage compartments on an airplane). I turned off the television set, and nearly vomited. I will never watch her again. She can join George Carlin in hell, who in one of his HBO routines referred to Israeli soldiers as “murderers” but said nothing about Palestinians who slaughter innocent Israelis and exult in the commission of such atrocities.

commonsense on May 5, 2014 at 8:28 pm

Joan is the best.

Bikerrich on May 6, 2014 at 9:12 am


Michelle Knight is on right schedule to become the Tonya Harding of this decade.

Nick Fury on May 6, 2014 at 9:39 am

I know they all truly suffered and this one conceived 5 of his children which she lost to miscarriages but I always felt of the three, there was something off with Michelle Knight. Some Stockholm Syndrome going on there, I think.

Meira on May 6, 2014 at 10:24 am

Some experiences you don’t survive.
You carry on but not as the same person.

Luckily the industrial media complex offers an afterlife of sorts but as hard as they try they can never get back home.

Frankz on May 6, 2014 at 12:43 pm

“This morning, she was on NBC’s “Today Show”–complete with garish red lipstick and multiple hideous face-piercings–pimping her new book.”

Not to mention that many more people suffer worse atrocities all the time and receive no compensation whatsoever or are dead. So the fact that she survived, became a millionaire and is now a celebrity makes her somehow honorable or deserving?

DS_ROCKS! on May 6, 2014 at 4:09 pm

In America, you can make money in many ways, and G-d Bless America.

But this lady is an idiot who happened to be kidnapped. the odds of her being an idiot were, of course, greater than 50-50.

Time to read “Drug Interactions with Tobacco Smoke: Implications for Patient Care” over dinner, and then go home and watch Riff-Trax with the wife after squeezing the children.

These idiots on the TV are idiots, worse and worse. I like to watch The MST3K guys make fun of old bad movies instead. They did a great job on National Geographic nailing their other favorites: really stupid educational videos. I especially liked the British ponce chasing down the non-existent monster bat one.

Occam's Tool on May 6, 2014 at 10:20 pm

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