June 15, 2014, - 3:46 pm

Happy Mother’s Day, Dad: The Death of Fatherhood Continues; I Miss You, Dad

By Debbie Schlussel

Happy Mother’s Day, “Dad.” Not my dad, but many of the “dads” in America, now.

Me and My Dad, Ten Days After I Was Born


My Dad (Center) Receives Award From Michigan Lions Club for Providing Free Eye Care to the Poor, Blind

Sadly, that’s what more and more American kids should be saying to their fathers, today, assuming–and that’s a big assumption–that they even have a father in their lives (about half of American kids born in the last several years do not). American society–media, pop culture, education, and government–are pushing men as the new mothers. And for far too many kids, their dads have bent over and assumed the position

Last year, on Father’s Day, I wrote about my loving, dear late father, who insisted on a traditional family and traditional parental roles for himself and my mother. He did not want my mother to work full time (or even part time, though she did anyway–as a Hebrew school teacher at a phony baloney conservative Jewish “synagogue” that welcomes HAMAS and Hezbollah supporters). He wanted to be the one to bring home the bacon (or, in his case, kosher bacon). And he wanted my mother to be home and take care of us, to cook and clean (we had a maid, so there wasn’t much cleaning she had to do), and be there when we got home from school. And I was very lucky that my father insisted on those things and, for the most part, succeeded in having that traditional household. (This is the seventh Father’s Day I’ve celebrated without my father, H.L. Schlussel, M.D., Of Blessed Memory. And, Dad, I miss you a lot.)

Today, any man who wants that for his family is seen as backward and an idiot to be mocked. And any man who wants that will have a hard time finding a woman to agree, unless he’s wealthy and ready to provide a lifestyle of the rich and famous. Moreover, because the economy long ago adjusted to feminist urges and two-income households, it’s a lot harder for a family to get by on the wages of just the husband. Or is it?

Maybe not, because today, in a far worse development, our quickly-emasculated society is heavily pushing Mr. Mom stay-at-home dads, and the numbers are increasing exponentially. There is a reason, “Lean In,” the feminist manual written by Facebook billionaire Sheryl Sandberg, was a best-selling book for nearly a year. The media in unison hyped her manifesto for women to pursue their careers at all cost and to pursue only men who would stay home and change diapers while those women were chasing ambition at work. The book was essentially this message to women: if you get married, make sure it’s to a guy whose testicles you’ve amputated (and, then, make sure you augment your own body with them).

American men have been encouraged to strip themselves of their ambition, their drive, their desire to be the breadwinner. They’ve been told it’s no longer hip to be masculine in our “Dove for Men” moisturizer culture. And, in fact, Dove has been pushing the “Dads–the New Moms” ethos in recent ads and promotional campaigns. So, too, have employers, the Wall Street Journal reports. Many companies are encouraging men to stay at home, use “flextime,” and “recognize men’s role as caregivers.” The article was frightening to anyone who cares about the future of America, because we know that where there is a moral void, something very bad will fill it. In America’s case, that void will be filled more and more by Islam, which is increasingly the choice for many aimless youthful males seeking a way to be a real man.

There is nothing wrong with being a more involved dad. In fact, that is a good thing and should be encouraged. I and my siblings were very lucky to have a caring dad who was very involved in our lives. But there is a very clear line between being an involved, caring dad and simply becoming the mom with a penis (albeit a penis that clearly is no longer in use).

The Wall Street Journal article, excerpts of which are below was scary in that it quoted polls showing more and more American men no longer care about making it to the top at work. They are ambitionless and would rather make it home in time to make dinner and support their wives’ higher incomes. If that sounds like Europe (where Islam is thriving and will soon overtake the place, in some part because of men converting to Islam), it’s because it is. With ObamaCare, gay marriage, government-funded sex-change operations, illegal aliens galore, and men not caring about being men anymore, men not caring about being FATHERS, we are Europe, just maybe a decade or two behind (but fast “catching up”–which means regressing).

Honest men–real men, if they could say what they actually think without consequences–don’t really want to be Mr. Moms, but society has encouraged them to feel comfortable with it. Really, it’s embarrassing and emasculating, if they were really truthful about it. But, no, they have to push this on everyone else.

And so we have wimps like Lionel Beehner, some jerk who frequently contributes lefty drivel to USA Today, proudly saying, “Dads, We’re the New Moms. Stay-at-home fathers are a growing trend. I’m one of them–and it’s a blast.” Puh-leeze. A blast? More like a blast of hot air. This guy proudly proclaims, “I just cut my balls off, and I love it!” Okay, so he didn’t use those words. I had to translate from this, “The number of stay-at-home-dads has shot up in recent years. I know; I am one of them . . . . I just recently became a dad for the second time, and my wife is our family’s breadwinner.” He says it with such glee. And he talks about the support network and support groups. Here’s a tip: support groups are for the afflicted. And you, sir (er. . . . ma’am) are afflicted with decojonesia, my new medical term for an all too common mental illness in the Western world, especially America.

This imbecile ridicules his “hyper-ambitious” male friend, and talks about how he enjoys wearing skinny pants and a fanny pack. He brags about how he knows the difference between baby strollers and is “motherly.” G-d, I am so lucky my dad never wanted to be “motherly.” He wanted to be my father. Thank G-d. But, sadly, with 2012 figures showing there are 2 million stay-at-home dads and growing, this is our future. Wimps like this “guy.” They’ve lost their will to be men . . . and fathers. Without ambitious men–without real fathers (who are fathers, not “moms”), this country is finished. Kids want and need fathers who teach them how to be men (if they are boys) and how to be treated by men (if they are girls). They don’t want or need two moms of opposite genders.

Read these dismaying excerpts from the Wall Street Journal for more:

As the number of dual-earner couples grows and more men make sacrifices to support their wives’ careers, some fathers are asking employers for guidance and action or tapping flexible-workplace policies originally designed for working mothers. Others are curbing their career goals to spend more time at home. Employers have been slow to recognize men’s role as caregivers, fathers and researchers say. . . .

The shift comes at a time when more women are out-earning their husbands—a percentage that has risen steadily from 3.5% of families in 1960 to 15% of families in 2011, according to the Pew Research Center—and men are redefining what it means to be a dad. A study by the Boston College Center for Work & Family found that a majority of fathers, especially those under 40, are moving away from the traditional “breadwinner” role and see themselves as responsible for both the emotional and financial needs of their children.

“There is considerable confusion and angst among young men about how they’re going to make it work,” says Stew Friedman, a management professor and head of the Work/Life Integration Project at the University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School. . . . Thomas Hsu, an Accenture PLC executive with two young children . . . . is part of a team trying to increase Accenture’s paid paternity leave to three weeks from one. . . . Mr. Hsu says Accenture bosses regard taking on such roles as a sign of leadership.

Ford Motor Co. allows salaried U.S. employees to work a reduced schedule. Around 8.5% of 600 workers doing so in 2013 were men, up from 5% in 2009, according to Ford. As men take on more caregiving duties, they need flexibility at work, said Felicia Fields, Ford’s group vice president of human resources. Yet many still fear that reducing time at the office will dead-end their careers. Ford safety engineer Roger Trombley, 37, started a 70% schedule after his son’s birth in 2009. He says he was the first man in his department to do so, but three male colleagues eventually followed suit. At first, “they didn’t think it was really an option for them as guys,” he recalls.

But here’s a stat that counts:

A Harvard researcher has shown that men with children earn higher salaries when their wives work less than full-time.

Not in the Sheryl Sandberg playbook, huh?

Fred Bermont, 35, left his job at a Boston-area pharmaceuticals firm in pursuit of work-life balance in 2012, shortly after his first child was born. He joined Shire PLC, which offered paid paternity leave and some flexible scheduling. He’s usually at his desk by 8 a.m. and leaves at 4:30 p.m.

Wow, bankers’ hours (except banks are now open longer and later than this guy is at work.

“I don’t know if I can work like this and become a vice president,” says Mr. Bermont, a senior specialist in the clinical standards and data management department. “But I don’t know if I want to be one. . . .

American Express Co.’s occasional Fatherhood Breakfast Series invites male colleagues, including high-ranking executives, to talk about blending career and family. It was started in 2010 by Todd Goodwin, a vice president of information management, who says he hit a breaking point years ago while trying to balance his job with his daughters’ school drop-offs and other family duties.

Eddie Hollowell Jr. , 31, attended a MetLife parenting webinar shortly before his son’s birth last June. . . . Following his wife’s return to work, Mr. Hollowell used vacation time to work a four-day week last August and December. Because he had just started a new role in May 2013, “it was awkward to even broach the subject of a reduced work schedule,” he says. The webinar, he said, helped him ask his boss for the time off. He will work a four-day schedule again this July and August to help with child care. “I wouldn’t say that it has been easy balancing work and family,” he adds.

Um, what is not easy here is being the mom when you are supposed to be the dad.

But in our blurred society chock full of blurred everything (blurred sense of right and wrong, blurred sense of what is male and female, blurred sense of what is absurd and what isn’t), this is where we are.

This is the future. And thanks to the urgings of people like Sheryl Sandberg and others, these men will soon not have to worry about how many days to take off to play mother. They will be doing it full-time.

As I always say, name a matriarchy in Western civilization that has survived. You can’t. And you won’t be able to name a country of Mr. Moms that stays around long. You only need look at Scandinavia, where this phenomenon is dominant. But, where, because of it, Islam is even more dominant.

Saying good-bye to fathers means saying good-bye to America.

My dad taught us love of G-d, country, and family. These stay-at-home “dads” teach their kids love of diapers and cooking for men and love of the feminist emasculation of America. No thanks.

Happy Mother’s Day, “Dad.”

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8 Responses

I have raised my baby girl by my self for most of her life alone, and have always said “men are parents too”… Men get a bad rap all the time, get blamed for all the failings in single mother home. And when their kids are failing they cry and whine about the absent of the men in the house. Should the finger not be pointed at the mother who lives with, and raising the kid(s)? Forget the general loser father who bails, there’s about 15% men out there raising children like me- alone. We don’t get any awards and have very little support networks. I find it mean spirited by the media who seem to put on movies like “Burning Bed” and have other shows characterizing men as buffoons, or evil, with some form of deleterious form of Misindry to remind everyone how bad ALL men are. My daughter graduated with 4.2 GPA and 30 college credits, got a full scholarship at Texas A&M. I did it without bitching in-spite of how hard it was.

RP: Amen. Good for you! You sound like a great dad. Happy Father’s Day especially to men like you. DS

Rick Peterson on June 15, 2014 at 4:48 pm

The way Beehner writes, it’s not surprising his wife is the breadwinner.

Part of this matriarchal trend is related to the dumbing down of education, and inability of all too many men to develop skills that employers would want.

But on a deeper level, we know that the leftists want to break up the family, and have government, more and more, take over the functions associated with fatherhood.

They do this in so many ways that it is not surprising to see feminization take over.

And of course, I suspect that some of the males who writing about relinquishing some of their roles to their wives, girlfriends, etc. are just being opportunistic. They know what sells, and what is accepted, and glorifying women is PC now. They know they will make more money if they bow to this, at least in their silly writings.

Little Al on June 15, 2014 at 5:15 pm

I don’t want to have too rosy a view, yet I was struck by the following:

“The shift comes at a time when more women are out-earning their husbands—a percentage that has risen steadily from 3.5% of families in 1960 to 15% of families in 2011, according to the Pew Research Center.”

So, despite the sea change in law and custom over 50 years, the percentage went up by only 11%. I found this statistic surprising.

skzion on June 15, 2014 at 6:30 pm

I have seen this trend too Debbbie, especially from the 18-30 crowd. I am not against a father spending time with their children but I am wary of role-reversals.

As anecdotale evidience, I encountered a guy whose car had stopped on the side of the road, with assuming mechanical/electrical problems. I noticed he had two children and but did not see his wife with him. The area has spotty cell phone coverage so depending on the cellphone carrier, you may or maynot be able to make a call. This was a Friday afternoon, I assumed maybe this guy got a Friday off to spend a day with his children. I looked at his car and noticed that one of his sparkplug cables had been to close to the engine block and had melted the rubber insulation and was causing the car to have driveabilty problems. I asked him, “What a day to spend with your children here waiting for AAA to show up.” He told me that it was not too bad because he is always with his kids while his wife is the one working. I got taken a back a bit and asked if he works at all and he said no. That since he got out of college he told me he worked for low level, no pressure jobs and then met his wife. He did tell me that his wife was probably going to yell at him for not believing her that the car was driving erratically. He did not say this in a joking manner but in a serious way like a woman would say if her husband would to arrive home after a long day at work.

I was already picturing your Girly Man on this guy Debbie because I can imagine this guy’s wife actually running him and everyone in the houshold. I see more and more men like this guy here where I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. The only people that are not buying this Mr. Mom insanity are the foreign immigrants that still believe in Father as the provider and mother as the nurturer.

Mario on June 15, 2014 at 8:41 pm

I’ve been blessed to have a wife who believes as I do, and is more than happy to let me go out and fight the “dragons” of the world from 8:00 to 6;00. She does a great job with the kids.
I don’t know how men can live any other way, if given the chance.

Jim from Maine on June 15, 2014 at 9:50 pm

Let us be honest, Deb. A part of this is the rampant, active discrimination against men, where men earn a lower salary for the same job as a woman, if they can even get the same job, thanks to the discriminatory policy known as affirmative action.

In other words, men who are trying are having a tougher and tougher time in American society, thanks to discrimination, particularly against straight white males, the largest unprotected class of people in America.

There are couples where the man cuts off his meat and two veg, let’s his wife go out and get a job, and he takes care of her children. You and I know of a famous plagiarizing columnist in that situation. Even adopted the wife’s religion for the children, even though he is Jewish. Actually, there are a few columnists that come to mind like that.

Jonathan E. Grant on June 15, 2014 at 10:19 pm

Look at it this way, Ms. Schlussel,

The left is trying very hard to mold the men into woozies, into something not much different from a pile of puddy

They may fancy themselves as the “at home dad”, that they are “in constant touch with their children”, while their wives are there climbing the corporate ladder and getting to meet with many other men who are much more REAL than those “home maker dad”

And guess what those “REAL MEN” their wives get to meet in the corporate settings ? Muslims !

Do you ever see any Muslim man allowing their women to expose themselves outside of their adobe. alone ?

No !

The Muslim men are not woozies, their tradition told them that as men they must behave like REAL MEN, someone who is macho, someone who is the LEADER of the family – and guess what happened when the wives of those woozies get to meet and mingle with “REAL MEN” who are Muslims ?

Yep — sooner or later the wives will dump their good for nothing “at home hubby” and fall in the lap of those Muslim men — and guess what that will do to the country ?

Well … more Muslim babies will be born, and the population of Muslims in the US of A will dramatically increase

Remember, one Muslim man can, by the Islamic tradition, is allowed to have 4 wives at any given time

You are right to say that Europe has fallen, and you are correct to predict that America is catching up fast – and if this trend is not checked, the future for America will be a very cloudy one

potato on June 16, 2014 at 1:09 am

Today, any man who wants that for his family is seen as backward and an idiot to be mocked.

The term for this is called Cultural Marxism.

Invented by some very evil people, who wanted to destroy America and it’s values. It’s start came from Frankfurt Germany. The Frankfurt School of political theory. They came to America, and landed at Columbia University, after the rise of Hitler.

…and we’ve been paying for it ever since.

Patrick in Michigan on June 16, 2014 at 8:52 am

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