January 11, 2016, - 4:47 pm

Sean Penn is El Chapo’s Bitch: Spicoli Wrote WHAT?!

By Debbie Schlussel



I think it’s absolutely hilarious that Sean Penn–while giving verbal and written oral sex to mass murderer kingpin El Chapo–led authorities to the Joaquín Guzmán, the Sinaloa cartel drug lord. But even more hilarious is some of the urinalism that Jeff Spicoli thinks is actual “reporting.” To wit, his, um, “pearls of wisdom” on urinating and farts:

I throw my satchel into the open back of one of the SUVs, and lumber over to the tree line to take a piss. D-ck in hand, I do consider it among my body parts vulnerable to the knives of irrational narco types, and take a fond last look, before tucking it back into my pants.

Wow, information the world needed and could never live without. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

But, wait, there’s more of this written splendor from Penn’s Rolling Stone joke of an “interview” and “story”:

Chapo puts his arm over my shoulder and renews his request that I see him in eight days. “I’ll be saying goodbye now,” he says. At this moment, I expel a minor traveler’s flatulence (sorry), and with it, I experience the same chivalry he’d offered when putting Kate to bed, as he pretends not to notice.

Wow, El Chapo pretends not to notice Spicoli’s farts. Whatta guy! I mean, no big deal that El Chapo tortured and murdered hundreds–and probably thousands–of people in the furtherance of his illegal drug empire. If he ignores farts, then he’s a humanitarian for sure. Especially has-been actor Sean Penn’s farts. That’s ex-Mr. Madonna royalty.

The rest of the interview–riddled with F-words–is mostly unreadable and utterly repulsive. But what it definitely isn’t, is journalism. Of any sort. This was positive PR puffery for a mass murderer. Sean Penn gave a written Lewinsky to an animal. He gave an unfettered, unchallenging public forum to a savage. And, make no mistake, if Hitler were alive today, Penn would deliver the same Rolling Stone BJ to him, too. And Jann Wenner, Rolling Stone’s crazy publisher, would print that and seal it with a wet kiss.

But that’s the great thing about this–the fact that Penn led authorities to capture Guzman. Penn hung out with Hugo Chavez and Ahmadinejad and the like singing the praises of these monsters. But, now, no other wanted dictator or cretinous, murderous thug will ever grant an interview to Penn again (unless they fear no capture, which, in the case of “Retreating America” is a legit feeling). They know Penn’s like a tracking device. So, hopefully, this Islamo-pandering, murderer-lovin’ crappy actor’s “career” in urinalism is over. His “coverage” of Iranian elections was a joke. He’s a joke. And, now, one would hope: the joke will end. Sadly, that’s wishful thinking.

Too many moronic wannabes who are taken seriously–like Rabbi Shmuley Boteach–have kissed the ass that sits on Sean Penn’s personal toilet bowl. Boteach invited this lowlife to his birthday party and honored him with some bogus humanitarian award. And the media still gives this guy credence he doesn’t deserve.

The only thing America and the world should ever have gotten from Sean Penn was “a cool buzz and a tasty wave.” But even on that, Spicoli never really delivered.

Thankfully though, by being El Chapo’s bitch, Sean Penn did deliver a murderer.

Where is Mr. Hand when you need him?

By the way, remember when Presidential candidate John Edwards sought Penn’s advice on his illegit baby?

How many times has Obama consulted with Spicoli?

Fast Times at Stupidity High.

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17 Responses

Knowing Obama’s regular consulting with Hollywood airheads on serious issues of all types, I’d say that many types too many.

ConcernedPatriot on January 11, 2016 at 4:59 pm

Too many of those beans that they’re not used to.

Little Al on January 11, 2016 at 5:04 pm

They don’t make actors like they used to.

That’s why I no longer watch Hollywood’s fatuous self-promotion – like the Golden Globes and Oscars.

Its sickening as these are the people who have done so much to degrade the popular culture.

Sean Penn among them.

NormanF on January 11, 2016 at 5:18 pm

Sounds like Sean Penn fancies himself as the next Hunter Thompson.

Harry on January 11, 2016 at 5:55 pm

Rolling Stone and now the “literary” venturing Sean Penn are qualified presstitutes and will ultimately be making some serious money from their El Chapo tripe. When a far left media outlet like CNN refers to Penn’s interview as “naive and dangerous,” you know that RS and Penn have reached a lower low — if that’s possible. Penn refers to El Chapo as a “simple man from a simple place” who “does not initially strike [him] as the big bad wolf of lore.” Penn also says he has a “warm smile” and “indisputable charisma.” Wow. Sort of makes you want to invite him over for some tea and biscuits.

Ralph Adamo on January 11, 2016 at 7:27 pm

Sean, Sean, Sean…

Obviously, your Mom never told you that “Acting is not real life” and that the real-life bad boys are only there to make you – from the OXFORD DICTIONARIES / Language Matters site –
the following:

Definition of useful idiot in English:


(Originally) a citizen of a non-communist country sympathetic to communism who is regarded (by communists) as naive and susceptible to manipulation for propaganda or other purposes; (more widely) any person similarly manipulable for political purposes.

Does the shoe fit???

Dennis on January 12, 2016 at 10:15 am

Sean Penn, a pretend tough guy, and they are a dime a dozen. He said he would punch anyone in the face who called Hugo Chavez an anti-Semite. When he said that, back when Chavez was alive, I used to hope I would run in to Penn on the street. I would have liked to ask him some things about Chavez’ and his “love” for the Jewish people, proving that he wasn’t an anti-Semite.

Of course Penn would not have had a leg to stand on in such a discussion. It is typical of the left, they have nothing but their emotional knee jerk response to any opposition. I just finished reading Debbie’s article from the archives about Dr. Lazar Greenfield. Her description of feminists is quite right on. All emotion, no substance, which is why one of their great champions Saul Alinsky, said never to get in to an ideological discussion with your enemy.

But of courrrrrrrrrrse. When you have no substance, all you can do is attack. Sean Penn is nothing but a Hollywood political attack dog.

Alfredo from Puerto Rico on January 12, 2016 at 10:49 am

This little Commie bitch is a talentless POS. I wish someone would plant this sperm-gurgling little buttwhore in the ground!

MuzzCrusher on January 12, 2016 at 11:44 am

I’ve had it clear up to my neck with this jackass. He has always been on my list of celebrities I’d like to punch in the gut. I’m sure he’s sad that his new friend is being extradited to the “Evil” United States. I just wish it was Texas he was being extradited to. I wonder if there are any laws which broke in Mexico for meeting with this crook–wait, calling him a “crook” is an insult to crooks who have at least some semblance of humanity. It would be wonderful to see Penn extradited to Mexico to stand trial for obstructing justice. Of course Obama wouldn’t turn of what he undoubtedly considers a “national treasure”. Ugh.

Dan on January 12, 2016 at 11:50 am

I think Penn was wired, snitched out El Chapo. Whatever. they got him, and I’m sure Mr. hotshot will get his. It all works out in the end. Just my opinion, I think El Chapo was working with the U.S. government anyway.

Ronald Taylor on January 12, 2016 at 12:27 pm

“sperm-gurgling little buttwhore in the ground!”

Dang, am I on the right site? ha ha

MrBigBrain on January 12, 2016 at 4:10 pm

Very nice to think that Mr. Madonna must be sh*tting his pants worrying if El Chapo has ordered his murder for snitching him out.


DS_ROCKS! on January 12, 2016 at 5:10 pm

Penn did one good thing in his life by helping Ostereicher get out of corrupt Bolivia.

Facts of Life on January 12, 2016 at 7:15 pm

You know what Debbie every time this Communist loving America hating POS is in the news I harken back to his Spicoli character. Sean Penn is on another level as far as Hollyweird repulsiveness goes and with that bunch that says a lot. His slobbering over another mass murdering scumbag will sadly only give him more “street cred” with idiots like Ed Asner, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Samuel L Jackson, Susan Sarandon, and George Clooney. The only good thing is that El Chapo de Guano is safely back in custody and has paper in the works to bring his sorry carcass to the US. I wonder if Chappy has put a hit on Spicoli yet. It would give this dirt bag something else to keep in the back of his tiny mind. It would serve him right.

Ken B on January 13, 2016 at 11:41 am

He was in a couple of pretty good movies a while back. Can we photoshop someone who isn’t a total prick in his place?

joe on January 13, 2016 at 9:33 pm

I listened to the liveleak gun battle between Mexi marines and el chapo henchmen while I read the unfascinating rolling drone article. It certainly adds another dimension to his stupidity.

Lars on January 14, 2016 at 1:38 am

Is Penn now in danger of being knocked off? Gang leaders are known to have a long reach from the cell.

Bill Markavich on January 16, 2016 at 9:37 am

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