October 5, 2009, - 10:24 am

Go Away, Levi Johnston . . . & the Rest of the Pistachio Cast

By Debbie Schlussel

As readers know, I’m no fan of Sarah Palin and her dysfunctional Mr. Mom family.  But I’m no fan of her daughter’s babydaddy, Levi Johnston, either.  I wish this tabloid clan would just go away . . . all of them.  Sadly, that won’t happen on any count.  It’s not just that Sarah Palin’s ghostwriter’s book is already topping best-sellers lists.  It’s that this idiot, Levi Johnston, actually got some ad agency to buy into his silly attempts to be in “acting” and serve as a spokesmodel (not that he’s any dumber than the current Hollywood crop). Below is Johnston’s new “star turn,” in a set of dumb ads for pistachios.

Hahaha! Did you get that? He does it “with protection.” Frickin’ hilarious. . . if you’re a moron.

I love pistachios, but these silly sexually-laden, double entendre ads–featuring Johnston, a dominatrix, a mobster (Vincent Pastore) from “The Sopranos,” some poor midget, and assorted others–are making me rethink my support.  Apparently, the pistachio industry still hasn’t recovered  from a salmonella contamination scare and recall back in April.  Now, they’re spending $15 million in an ad campaign.  No word on how much the Palin babydaddy made from this, but you can bet the Palins–regardless of the millions they’ve now made–will hit him up for child support.  Below are some of the ads (all of which are here):

Watch more of the videos . . .

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11 Responses

This has got to be one of the worst ad campaigns ever. People either like pistachios or they don’t. It’s not like they need a commercial to tell them to go eat pistachios.

Norman Blizter on October 5, 2009 at 11:24 am

As a marketing major, I feel that this stupid ad would actually drive people…especially moral people away from pistachio nuts. So you were right that this won’t help the profits for pistachio nuts. These marketing execs are nuts. No pun intended.

Matthew on October 5, 2009 at 11:28 am

Aw, c’mon Debbie. Maybe the kid actually got this gig in an attempt to actually earn something to help raise his kid. I don’t condone the bad ad campaign, but the kid has to know he’s already on the hook for child support, right?

puffofsmoke on October 5, 2009 at 12:38 pm

I only listened to the first two, and it seems that these people are dumb like a fox! They know we critics are now virally tuning into their silly pistachio ads without any cost to them because they are controversial.

The “get-crackin” crapola is marketing genius, because pistachio lovers do love that little crack of the opening shells. They will sell more pistachios. I will have to make a deliberate effort to avoid the Wonderful brand!

BB on October 5, 2009 at 1:17 pm

A good advertisement not to buy pistachios. Now let’s make one of an Iranian mullah eating pistachios!

Frickin’ hilarious! Would be mission accomplished for the worst ad campaign ever!

NormanF on October 5, 2009 at 1:50 pm

The nerve of this kid to attack the Palins but use his connection to them to make money. As for Sarah’s book being “ghostwritten” I wish that Bill Clinton’s tome had been “ghostedited”. It was awful. I don’t care if her book is “ghostwritten” – most of them are! And some of them are actually not bad.

JulieJ on October 5, 2009 at 3:28 pm

Just like Obama’s book has been ghostwritten…BY NONE OTHER THAN BILL AYERS!


Bob Porrazzo on October 5, 2009 at 5:54 pm

Anyone know who the agency for these are?

ad scribe on October 5, 2009 at 9:48 pm

“Anyone know who the agency for these are?”

McMahan & Tate?

Richard on October 6, 2009 at 1:45 pm

I gotta admit, the Dominatrix one was intriguing . . . and a little frightening.

lowandslow on October 6, 2009 at 9:01 pm

Yes very lame. Very lame. Pistachios are great, about as great as cashews and roasted almonds. Had many ‘stachios as a kid. One good thing about being a farmers son’s we always got all the fruits, vegetables and nuts we wanted. Trading with other farmers was great. Dad always had anything we wanted in Central Valley California. I loathe paying for fresh fruit, vegetables when I used to get it all free.

The ad campaign kinda sucks. I agree. However it is Christmas season and people want their mixed nuts. For the farmers in the Central Valley California, hope they sell well.

CaliforniaScreaming on October 7, 2009 at 12:32 am

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