By Debbie Schlussel

OMG, I think I just got back from the WORST. FUNERAL. EVER!

Earlier today, I went to the funeral for my 90-year-old neighbor of 11.5 years, who just died of cancer. I was shocked by what I heard. It was the most rude, most absurd eulogy ever. I believe that real Jewish women aren’t rabbis. And that real Jewish rabbis aren’t women. That said, I wouldn’t be writing this if “Rabbi” Keren Alpert hadn’t delivered the most disgraceful eulogy ever–attacking the dead man who isn’t here to defend himself . . . and who was a really good guy. It was jarring for me and many of my neighbors who were there, most of whom are not Jewish and couldn’t believe the cruelty, nor could I.

My poor deceased neighbor was dissed and ignored by his grown, adult children for decades. We, his neighbors, helped him out and one of my neighbors took care of him until just a couple of days before his death, when one of his kids decided to finally put him in hospice with a full-time caretaker. But the children orchestrated the funeral, and they got a dumb, liberal chick rabbi to do their bidding and say absurd things, despite what should have been better judgment by a purported rabbi who is apparently vacant of all decency.

My jaw dropped as the “rabbi”-ette talked about my poor neighbor’s “estranged” relationship with his kids and how because of an alleged “emotional wall” he put up, he didn’t have contact with his grandchildren (a total lie, but even if true, completely inappropriate for a funeral eulogy where the deceased’s good graces should be sung). It was like out of a bad movie . . . and the kind of behavior that was so rotten, I thought it could only be confined to the fiction of movies. But I was wrong. A very disturbing and distressing experience in the very room of the funeral home where I delivered my eulogy of my dear late father nearly six years ago.

Even worse, the “rabbi” chick surmised about whether or not the dead man’s late father (from the early 1900s!) “was possibly” abusive and whether or not my departed neighbor’s deceased mother (who died in the early ’30s) “might have perhaps possibly been a buffer” for him from his father. Um, if it wasn’t so disgusting and tragic, this speculation upon speculation by grown children who didn’t know their father or his life as read by a paid-off tool of a fake rabbi would have been hilarious. Here’s a tip, Rabbi Alpert: if you don’t know whether or not something is a fact, don’t include it in a eulogy. Read the rest of this entry »

By Debbie Schlussel

About an hour ago, Muhammad Qori Dwi Adya a/k/a Corey of Woodbridge, Suffolk in the United Kingdom, left me this message on my Facebook page (join me on Facebook). The guy is a Muslim of Indonesian descent. Do I feel threatened? Damn straight I do. This is that religion they keep telling us had “nothing whatsoever” to do with the Boston Marathon terrorist attacks, and nothing whatsoever to do with 9/11. And nothing whatsoever to do with the Fort Hood Massacre “workplace violence.” And so on, and so on, and so on. Yup, this is definitely a very peaceful, tolerant religion. Read the “peaceful, tolerant” words. But, hey, he likes Vans, just like Jeff Spicoli in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High,” so no way he’s a jihadist, right? (His Facebook page features a suicide note, dated April 20th, but sadly, he apparently chose to stay on earth and send me death threats instead.)

Read the rest of this entry »

By Debbie Schlussel

As I always say, Jews are the Jews’ worst enemy and the jihadists’ best friend. And, so, it figures that a company founded and headed up by Jews–Sergey Brin and David Page (whose mother, Gloria Page, is Jewish)–would be the first major Internet resource/tool to recognize the HAMAS/PLO terrorist state and give it cover and legitimacy it doesn’t deserve. Maybe if Brin’s and Page’s family members were blown up at coffee shops, bars, pizza joints, and Passover dinners at hotels, they’d have some decency or at least common sense knocked into them. Alas, they are dhimmi-billionaires for whom politically correct ignorance is bliss. And, if Google were really interested in accuracy, it would read “Google HAMASastan – Get Blown Up Here.” It gives real meaning to the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button on Google’s search engine. You gotta feel really lucky to enter that place.

Google has swapped in the word “Palestine” for “Palestinian Territories” on its search site for the area, prompting comments from both sides of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. The word appears directly beneath the Google logo and above the search field on the site’s home page, www.google.ps, and the change follows a vote by the United Nations’ General Assembly late last year to grant Palestine the status of “non-member observer state.” Read the rest of this entry »

By Debbie Schlussel

Hey, it’s another brainless pop star jihad.

Justin Bieber refused to meet with young fans of his who were Israeli victims of HAMAS Islamic terrorism, canceling a meeting with Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu which included the young Jewish fans. (He also disrespected Anne Frank, by saying she woulda been a fan of his.) But when it comes to Muslims, he shows all the respect in the world. In Turkey, late last week, the newly halal Bieber stopped his concert twice to accommodate the Islamic call to prayer, which explicitly says that there is “no god but allah.”

Justin Bieber sure knows how to make his Turkish fans happy. The 19-year-old singer halted his concert in Istanbul twice to honor the Azan. The Azan, which also goes by a few other names like the Adhan, is the Islamic call to prayer and occurs in the main mosque five times a day. Fans were shocked and delighted at when the “Boyfriend” singer paused his show for the first time thanking the singer for being “respectful” and a “great man.”Concertgoers flooded Twitter with their heartfelt comments about the singer’s decision to observe the prayer call. Read the rest of this entry »

By Debbie Schlussel

The behavior of Katherine Russell/Karima Tsarnaeva, the widow of Islamic terrorist Tamerlan Tsarnaev, looks more and more like that of a guilty criminal, a co-conspirator who knew about the Boston Marathon terrorist attacks before they happened. As many of you know, part of my law practice as an attorney involves criminal defense. And the machinations of Russell Tsarnaeva and her lawyer are not those of an innocent person. It looks like they are seeking–and may have already partially gotten–immunity from prosecution, known as a “Kastigar letter.”

Earlier in the week, I told you that Russell Tsarnaeva, in whose home the Boston Marathon bombs were made, still wouldn’t talk to the FBI and other federal investigators about her husband’s terrorist activities and what she knew about the Boston Marathon bombings. As I noted, the feds were seeking a subpoena just to get her DNA, which they obtained and which we’ve learned does not match the female DNA found on one of the bombs. But it appears that Russell Tsarnaeva still isn’t talking to the feds and isn’t cooperating, despite the statements of her attorney to the press.

As a criminal defense attorney, if I was representing an innocent bystander, we’d have talked to the feds completely by now. We wouldn’t need immunity from prosecution for what my client told federal investigators. That immunity from prosecution prevents a party from asserting his/her Fifth Amendment rights to decline to answer and is usually spelled out in a letter from the U.S. Attorney’s office. The letter is known as a “Kastigar letter,” based on the case, USA v. Kastigar. I’ve represented clients who were innocent, who talked with the U.S. Attorney’s Office and testified before Federal Grand Juries. And when they’re innocent, they talk. They don’t need to spend weeks, as Russell Tsarnaeva’s attorney has, “negotiating” with the feds. The only negotiations are done when the represented party is guilty and needs a Kastigar letter. That’s clearly what’s going on here. And if the feds give her one of those letters, that means they won’t use anything she tells them in order to prosecute her. If she is or has already been granted a Kastigar letter, it would be a travesty of justice and a slap in the face to nearly 300 innocent civilians that her husband murdered or maimed.

From Tuesday’s Wall Street Journal:

Her lawyer has said she is “doing everything she can to assist with the investigation.” One official familiar with the case said agents went to the house Monday to collect a DNA sample from Ms. Russell, the culmination of days of negotiations. FBI officials also have been negotiating with Ms. Russell’s attorney in recent days to gain fuller access to question her, the officials familiar with the case said. The officials said the DNA request was needed to determine whether it matched the DNA found on the bomb remnants. Read the rest of this entry »

By Debbie Schlussel

Hey, it’s another Western skank converting to Islam for a man, a la Katherine/Karima Russell Tsarnaeva. As I always say, women like this always gotta put the vagina first, instead of what’s right. This time, she’s a gold-digger to boot a la Islamic convert Janet Jackson, obviously the only other reason she’s doing this. “Supermodel” (and I use the term loosely since this chick is more like a lesser known model than a “supermodel”) Kendra Spears is converting to Islam to marry Prince Rahim Aga Khan, a fake prince without a country. The Khans have a history of getting Westerners to convert to Islam for them, such as Khan’s grandfather who got actress Rita Hayworth to reportedly convert to Islam to marry him.

Runway model Kendra Spears will become a princess when she marries Prince Rahim Aga Khan of the Shia Ismaili Muslims. The engagement was announced last week by the Aga Khan, the spiritual leader or Imam of the global community of the Shi’a Ismaili Muslims. He currently lives in France, according to Us Weekly. The Shi’a Ismaili Muslims number nearly 15 million, according to the Daily Beast. The Aga Khan is the 49th hereditary Imam and is regarded as a direct descendent [DS: sic} of the prophet Mohamed. Read the rest of this entry »

By Debbie Schlussel

Nothing all that great and new at the movies, this weekend:

* “Iron Man 3“: I did not like this movie and found it incredibly boring, especially for something with so much action and such a big budget. The movie was blah and didn’t have a tight script. A lot of it didn’t even make sense (such as how they can remove Tony Stark’s power source in this movie, when in the other “Iron Man” movies it was deemed impossible). It was a yawner with zero plot or story to speak of.

But if you can call it a plot, it’s the fantasy of every Ron Paulistinian/Muslim/9/11 Truther/anti-American conspiracy theorist. . . and it’s absolutely ridiculous. To wit, an evil defense contractor (played by Guy Pearce) wants to get lots of government defense contracts (and take revenge on Tony Stark/Iron Man (Robert Downey, Jr.)). So, he invents a fake terrorist and pays an actor to play “The Mandarin,” who is a Bin Laden-esque character (and is played by Ben Kingsley) and pretend that he is behind the terrorist attacks and explosions around the world that the evil defense contractor is actually perpetrating. The Mandarin makes Bin-Laden-style videos threatening America and Iron Man. Tony Stark has to stop him and then finds out who is really behind the plot. Uh-huh, just like they say on the Arab Street: Bin Laden didn’t do 9/11. It was the evil CIA, Mossad, and defense contractors seeking to gin up biz. By the way, I understand from real comic book fans that The Mandarin is nothing like this and is a real villain in the comic books. Read the rest of this entry »

By Debbie Schlussel

Hey, everybody, sorry for my absence. Nope, the Muslims and lefties haven’t done away with me yet. But my computers acquired very strong viruses, and we had to spend a lot of time fixing ’em. Plus my air conditioning broke on two very warm days here in the Detroit area, so I decided to focus on some other stuff while the probs were being fixed. But, now, I’m back. Sorry, you had to look at Martha Stewart for two days. Oh, the topics that are on top of my site when this stuff happens. It’s like I’m being jinxed. But I needed a short break, if imposed against my will.

Thanks for your patience and your continued readership. Back in a few with my movie reviews and other stuff you won’t read anywhere else. And thanks to all those who wrote with concern for my well-being. Very humbling to know you care.

By Debbie Schlussel

Martha Stewart’s empire is struggling. She’s just discontinued two magazines and her show was dumped by even the Hallmark Channel. Her TV presence on PBS is easily beaten by younger, hipper chefs and crafters on various cable channels. And, now, at age 71, she’s put herself online as a dating specimen on Match.com. It’s gotta be a publicity stunt, since the only time you ever hear her name anymore is in the lawsuit between Macy’s and J.C. Penney about which can carry her merch, and now that case has ended (with J.C. Penney winning–Macy’s can’t sell her stuff). Or maybe Match.com paid her for the venture and publicity that comes along with it. I’m sure others will say, “Well, if Martha Stewart can do it, maybe I’ll give it a try.”

Reports say Stewart’s online dating profile seeks a man from age 55-70 (she’s seeking a younger man for a reason: vanity, and relative boytoyism). But what kind of guy wants to date a 71-year-old (used to be) billionaire chick who tells you how to make crocheted pastel cashmere Q-tip covers? Maybe a guy who wants to be kept? I don’t know. But I know that usually people of her wealth and stature go to private, expensive matchmakers or they meet others in their own lofty social circles.

What do you think is going on here? I smell a Jason Collins-style publicity grab, in which people praise her “courage” for dating online. Read the rest of this entry »

By Debbie Schlussel

Ramineh Behbehanian, a Johnson & Johnson pharmacist of Iranian descent, decided to fill some orange juice bottles with lethal doses of rubbing alcohol and put them on the Starbucks shelves. But, hey, I’m sure the fact that she’s Iranian had nothin’ to do with it, right? Can’t possibly be jihad . . . if you’re in fantasyland. Police have predictably already uttered the usual “no motive surfaced” BS line. When someone from Iran poisons orange juice at Starbucks, trying to murder random Americans and hurt the business of pro-Israel Jew/Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz (whom Muslims are boycotting for speaking out against anti-Semitism and supporting Israel), I’m sure all those crescent-aligned facts are “just a coinkydink.” Gotta be. (Not the first time, by the way, that Starbucks has been targeted by some sort of extremists.) Oh, and you might wanna check your Johnson & Johnson meds. Just sayin’. I’m sure we’ll also be told more of the usual: that she’s just mentally disturbed or something.

A 50-year-old pharmacist was arrested Monday night after police say she removed two bottles of orange juice from a bag – which they say were filled with rubbing alcohol – and placed them on the shelf with other refrigerated items at a Starbucks in San Jose. San Jose Police Sgt. Jason Dwyer took Ramineh Behbehanian of San Jose into custody on an attempted murder charge because the orange juice contained what police said were lethal quantities of isopropyl alcohol. She is scheduled to appear in court Thursday. Read the rest of this entry »