By Debbie Schlussel

**** UPDATE, 10/31/07: Forgot to mention that in the original 1982 “Blade Runner,” Harrison Ford narrates, like in the old detective movies. That was removed by Director Ridley Scott and isn’t in the new “Blade Runner: The Final Cut,” which was too bad, ‘cuz I liked the narration. ****
One of my absolute favorite movies of all time is “Blade Runner.” I saw it, again, over the summer, and unlike many futuristic movies from the ’80s, this one stood the test of time for me. Hard to believe the movie’s 25 years old.
Still, a re-mastered version is being rolled out for a limited engagement in movie theaters around the country (already in New York and Los Angeles theaters. It’s mostly appearing in arthouse theaters, like Mark Cuban’s Landmark Theaters. “Blade Runner: The Final Cut,” will–of course–be reviewed on this site, when after we screen it, early next week.
So, what’s different about the updated version? Here’s the info Warner Brothers studio sent me:

In honor of its 25th anniversary, Ridley Scott’s science fiction masterpiece, “Blade Runner,” starring Harrison Ford, is making a long-awaited return to the big screen with a completely re-mastered director’s cut, “Blade Runner: The Final Cut.” The film has not only been completely restored with new and improved special effects, but also includes never-before-seen added and extended scenes that Ridley Scott created specifically for the new edition.
Visually spectacular, action-packed and enduringly provocative since its original 1982 release, the stylish noir thriller “Blade Runner: The Final Cut” stars Harrison Ford in the enigmatic role of 21st-century detective Rick Deckard. As he hunts for vengeful, fugitive replicants in a high-tech future soured by urban and social decay, he is drawn to a mysterious woman (Sean Young) whose secrets may undermine his own soul.

Here’s the trailer:

No word yet on whether Vangelis’ excellent “Blade Runner” music (among my fave futuristic music), which runs during the end credits, is in the new version, but here it is:

One of the things I love about this movie–and the book upon which it’s based, by the late Philip K. Dick (“Robot Blues: Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?“)–is that it’s almost impossible to tell the difference between the humans and the Replicants. The only difference is that the humans have empathy, and the Replicants do not. It’s kind of the same difference between those of us who value freedom and love America, and those who are in America strictly to further their extremist Islamic religion. We have empathy, they have none . . . especially for us. Oh, sure there are a few exceptions like the Sean Young character, but you get the point. Phony niceness does not equal empathy.
Yup, a great movie on so many levels. As I always say–and it applies to this film–I love Harrison Ford, the actor (versus Harrison Ford, the person and draft dodger). The script dialogue is also the source for the title of one of my favorite Rob Zombie songs (actually, the only Rob Zombie song I like), “More Human Than Human.” That’s the motto of the Replicant makers in the movie, as one of them proclaims:

More human than human is our motto.

(On an interesting side note, Harrison Ford’s career kept up on a steadily rising trajectory after this, whereas Sean Young’s really went nowhere, unless you count her stint as a transsexual football player/police detective in “Ace Ventura, Pet Detective.” Laces Out!)
Visit the “Blade Runner: The Final Cut” website.

By Debbie Schlussel
What’s the definition of chutzpah? Well, it could be the Arab American Institute.
This past weekend, the organization which claims to speak for a mythical 6-7 million Arabs in America (reality check: the census says there are at most 2.2 million, including illegal alien Arabs), held a conference on political activism in Dearbornistan, this weekend. You’d think if there were really 6-7 million, they’d actually have more than a hundred or so participants at this national event. But the hotel confirms that they didn’t. And guess who sponsored the conference?

Birds of a Feather . . .
Why, none other than La Shish, the restaurant that the federal government says money laundered and funded Hezbollah to the tune of over $20 million, on which income tax was NEVER paid. The owner, Talal Chahine, is a fugitive in Lebanon, where he was allowed to flee by U.S. Attorney Stephen Murphy III a/k/a “Abu Porno”.
So, you ask, why would a restaurant owned by a fugitive who owes millions to the federal government continue to be open? Wouldn’t the government seize or freeze its assets . . . like they do with every other income tax cheat?
Well, those are great questions. I’ve asked them, too. But the Justice Department and U.S. Attorney Murphy won’t answer them. They’ve allowed fugitive tax cheat/Hezbollah financier Chahine to continue to operate and collect income and revenue from La Shish for 1.5 years and counting after they indicted him.
I guess the reason they can’t shut down the restaurant or freeze the assets is that they need someone to fund the Arab American Institute’s “political empowerment” conferences. And if Hezbollah’s financiers can’t fund Hezbollah’s supporters’ political activity in the States, who will? And we can’t have that stopped.
So, you can’t blame the Arab American Institute for getting Hezbollah’s American money-laundering operation to sponsor its event. After all, chutzpah only happens when it’s allowed to flourish and fester.
And our Justice Department is gladly seeing to that. That’s why the AAI has no prob taking sponsorship money from the man who finances the group that murdered over 300 of our Marines and civilians in Lebanon in the early ’80s.
The AAI will only feel shame about Hezbollah’s financier when we make them. And our government is only not making them feel shame, it’s patting them on the back, with a good ole’ PC hand.

By Debbie Schlussel
I shot this at the end of last week. It’s a new experiment I’m trying. The lighting is not what I’m used to for my usual TV appearances, so, yes, the makeup is too heavy and severe. Blechhh. And I have quite a few other probs with it. But still, I’m enjoying this and I’ll do and post more. To my harsh critics, don’t worry–nothing you can say about this is tougher on me than I am on myself in watching this. Also, there is no teleprompter or anything like that. I memorized my points so that’s why it’s kinda stiff. Working on that. Would love your reax, even that of the critics. But, please, be constructive. Huge thanks to my friend, “Big T” for producing this.
So, what does Suha Arafat have to do with American healthcare?:

Exit comment: Nope. I’m not a Bears fan (the colors of the football T). I just liked the shirt, which is not a Bears shirt, either.

By Debbie Schlussel
**** SCROLL DOWN FOR UPDATE ****
Who is more dangerous in the eyes of the men atop Central Command a/k/a “CENTCOM”–the founder and frontman for Islamic Jihad who financed homicide bombings of buses . . . or me?!

Censor Command (CENSCOM) By Boycott Watch
Well, if you answered me, you are not only right, but you’ve been well-schooled in the predictability of some of the boneheaded decisionmakers atop our military, like Brigadier General Robert Holmes (one of the highest-ranking CentCom officials) who apologized to Muslim extremist in Dearbornistan for our policy towards ally Israel. The top generals at Central Command once paid Sami Al-Arian, Ramadan Abdullah Shallah, and other Islamic Jihad leaders to teach them about the Middle East, but as for me, they are blocking my website, especially in Iraq. This is from a top former government official who is now a contractor with the Army and Central Command in Iraq, passed on by his friend who also is a former government official:
Who is More Dangerous?: Me. . .

Or Him?

Convicted Islamic Jihad Terrorist Sami Al-Arian

Interesting one for you. I am not sure what happened but the Army here in CentCom has blocked access to Debbie Schlussel. When you try to go to her website you get a really nasty warning message. I have tried enough times to make sure it was not an error, that I am probably going to get KP or something worse.
I think that is interesting. . . .
Anyway if you want to let her know that she is censored content, feel
free. I think that would piss her off:)

Yes, I’m not too happy about it, especially since my late father served with honor in the U.S. Army during Vietnam War. But, hey, why worry about our troops getting blown to bits by Islamic terrorists, or about whom they pick as Middle East instructors (like Al-Arian and Shallah) when you can worry about my patriotic, pro-American, pro-troops website?
What are the scared of? Clearly, the wrong things.
Yup, that’s how you “spread democracy” to barbarians who don’t want it: You ban democracy–including free speech, web access, freedom of association, etc.–for those who do want it, ie. the Americans over there who are sacrificing life and limb.
Way to go, CentCom.
Exit question: Who is really more dangerous–Islamic Jihad terrorist Sami Al-Arian or me? I think my friend, Stephen Flatow, whose daughter Alisa was murdered by CentCom Mid-East teacher Al-Arian (in a bus bombing he financed) would beg to differ with CentCom’s apparent answer.
Get a clue, Army . . . and CentCom, too.

**** UPDATE: Forgot to mention that high-ranking CentCom officials have repeatedly contacted me about posting CentCom info on my site, etc. Guess the right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing there . . . great news for our troops in harm’s way.
Oh, and I’m sure they didn’t want the troops to read my post exposing top CentCom idiot, Gen. Holmes. Wouldn’t want our boys over there to know that while they getting killed, fighting Islamists over there, the commanders at the very top of the food chain are playing pander bear to the Islamists over here. Cheers.

By Debbie Schlussel
Tonight is Devil’s Night, er . . . “Angel’s Night” in Detroit. You see, you’re not supposed to say “Devil’s Night,” about the night before Halloween, on which hundreds of houses are burnt to the ground through arson.
The fires still happen by the hundreds, many Detroit cops tell me (they send me the pics, too), but the media and the Pimp-Daddy Mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick, cover it up, making like there are few fires. They want people to think that Detroit–40 years after the riots–is not anymore the city of the Night of 1,000 fires.

Detroit’s Pimp-Daddy Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick
Pretends Devil’s Night Fires Disappeared
But the fact is, the arson fires continue, despite what they want you to think. These days the official count is generally under 100 fires, when the real count still numbers far larger than that. Many of the houses that are burned down are set on fire by fed up neighbors who are tired of Detroit doing nothing to tear down crackhouses and homes of vagrant squatters in their neighborhoods. While I don’t advocate crime, who can blame them.
Despite the orange costumes and the gushing spin, Detroit is the same old city as–probably worse than–the one that writer Zev Chafetz wrote about in his book, “Devil’s Night: And Other True Tales of Detroit.” It hasn’t changed (other than for the worse). They just have better PR and a biased, non-objective group of media outlets who won’t report the real story. Instead, they’re all wearing these stupid, orange “Angel’s Night” hats, t-shirts, and ribbons promoting this new pretense for the night of many fires. That, despite the fact that all along the Lodge Freeway–a main artery from the suburbs into Detroit–there are burnt out shells of former houses that were torched on Devil’s Nights past, and never torn down.
So, taking bets: How many fires will actually occur this Devil’s Night, er . . . “Angel’s Night”? I’m not talking the pretend number.
Trust me, if there were no fires and Detroit was a peaceful place, there’d be no reason to marshal hundreds of orange-clad volunteers this week, and have curfews, last night through Halloween. And they wouldn’t have so many police officers scheduled to work.
Detroit is burning, and it’s a whole lot different than “Rome is burning.”

Devil’s Night in Detroit

By Debbie Schlussel
**** UPDATE: I’ve added this first paragraph, below, to remind readers to what I’m referring. ****
Remember Bill Clinton’s impeachment hearings, when a number of female MSM reporters nonchalantly said they’d love to perform a “Monica Lewinsky” on the President? Well, Christiane Amanpour reminds me of those “objective” “reporters,” but her objects of “affection” are the most radical Muslim leaders and terrorists she can find in the Mid-East.
As I always say, Christiane Amanpour puts the Amman in “journalism.” Like the Bill Clinton fans, the arrogant, know-it-all, pan-Islamist reporter would give oral sex to all the Muslim leaders in the Mid-East if they’d only let her–she basically does that in her “reporting,” anyway. And her husband, Mr. Amanpour a/k/a Clintonista State Department spokesliar and Hillary campaigner Jamie Rubin, would applaud. Yes, he is that wimpy and far left.
I recently noted (here and here) Aman-fraud’s three-night anti-Christian, anti-Semitic, pro-Muslim “God’s Warriors” series on the Crescent News Network, and what a sham it was. Used toilet paper contains less fertilizer than that three night piece of cable BS.

CNN’s Christiane Amanpour:
Servicing a Lot of Things, But Journalism Ain’t One of ‘Em
Well, last week, one of the usual suspects–Queen Elizabeth–honored Aman-sore with the CBE, or Commander in the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire, for the Islamist shill’s “services to journalism.” I’ve already noted her dumbo-eared son’s fellating of Islam. Now, I guess it’s her turn through Aman-whore. They’ll let just about anyone into Buckingham Palace, these days.
Um, “services to journalism”? What’s next–the posthumous CBE to John Dillinger for “services to high finance”?!
Aman-sewer told Brits that “People imagine that I relax . . . with my Kalashnikov.” Um, no, many of us think you relax with snakes. You know, some like to keep company with their own.
She’s reportedly the highest paid reporter in the world. The question is: Who’s doin’ the payin’? We have several ideas.
There’s a reason–actually several–why Maxim Magazine named Amanpour one of “TV’s Ten Least Appealing Ladies,” a title she holds more legitimately than the “service to journalism” claim.

By Debbie Schlussel
Looks like the Senate Judiciary Hearings for The ICE Princess were postponed ’til this Thursday Morning. How quaint that the witch of Immigration and Customs Enforcement, Julie L. Myers, will face the Senate just after Halloween concludes.
As I noted before, this is our second bite at the apple (the first nibble was with the gushing and clueless Senate Committee on Homeland Security and Government) on this incompetentette who hung out a couple weeks ago at the Hezbollah Social Club with Immigration Defrauder and “former” Islamic Terrorist Imad Hamad and helped honor judges who deep-six the good cases hard-working ICE agents make. Remember, she’s keeping the hearings hush-hush, because she knows she has lots of legitimate detractors.

STOP HER
Below are the numbers of the U.S. Senators on the Senate Judiciary Committee. Call them, ask for their Judiciary Committee staff member, then register your complaints about The ICE Princess. Feel free to refer to my recent New York Post column on this law enforcement dwarf with undue chutzpah.
PLEASE CALL THEM:
Biden, Joseph R., Jr.-(202) 224-5042
Brownback, Sam-(202) 224-6521
Cardin, Benjamin L.-(202) 224-4524
Coburn, Tom-(202) 224-5754
Cornyn, John-(202) 224-2934
Durbin, Richard-(202) 224-2152
Feingold, Russell D.-(202) 224-5323
Feinstein, Dianne-(202) 224-3841
Graham, Lindsey-(202) 224-5972
Grassley, Chuck-(202) 224-3744
Hatch, Orrin G.-(202) 224-5251
Kennedy, Edward M.-(202) 224-4543
Kohl, Herb-(202) 224-5653
Kyl, Jon-(202) 224-4521
Leahy, Patrick J.-(202) 224-4242
Schumer, Charles E.-(202) 224-6542
Sessions, Jeff-(202) 224-4124
Specter, Arlen-(202) 224-4254
Whitehouse, Sheldon-(202) 224-2921

ICE Chieftess Julie Myers Feted Hezbollah,
Immigration Defrauder/Islamic Terrorist Imad Hamad, 2 Weeks Ago
(Julie Myers’ Hezbollah ICE by David Lunde/Lundesigns)
(Hamadafat by Six Meat Buffet/Preston Taylor Holmes)

By Debbie Schlussel
You’ve heard of “junk science.” Now there’s a new form, which I call “Bimbo Science.”
The latest (and maybe the first of many such bims to come) “scientist” to come along and dismiss accepted, proven medicine is former Playboy model, Playboy video star, and all around blow-up doll Jenny McCarthy. She’s parading around all the usual shows that welcome Bimbo Science–Oprah, The View, etc.–claiming that vaccines caused her son’s autism.
But while the “New McCarthyist” has a medical degree from the University of Google, Dr. Ari Brown, a Medical Doctor, pediatrician, and fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics exposes McCarthy’s many lies and idiocy in one of the best Wall Street Journal op-eds I’ve read in a while (among many excellent ones).

Smackdown:
Dr. Ari Brown’s Brain KOs Jenny McCarthy’s Silicone “Medicine”
Dr. Brown refers to Jenny McCarthy as an “actress.” That’s being charitable. But who knew America would actually be taking medical advice from this bim?:

Dangerous vaccines that harm kids. An epidemic of disabled children, hurt by an uncaring medical establishment.
Sounds like a B-grade Hollywood thriller. But this is supposedly a true story as told by actress Jenny McCarthy, author of the best seller, “Louder Than Words: A Mother’s Journey in Healing Autism.”
When I heard Ms. McCarthy tell Oprah and Larry King that vaccines caused her son’s autism, I had a flashback to a cold winter’s night, 13 years ago. I was the senior pediatric resident on call in the Intensive Care Unit. Cradled in the arms of her parents, a seven-year-old girl was brought to the emergency room at Children’s Hospital Boston. The girl had come down with chickenpox a few days earlier — she had a fever and hundreds of itchy skin lesions. That night, she had taken a turn for the worse. Her fever shot up to 106 and she became confused and lethargic. She was unresponsive and limp in her mother’s arms.
The ER doctors suspected that her open sores allowed Strep bacteria to get under her skin and rage through her bloodstream. Now she was in “multiple system organ failure” — every square inch of her body was shutting down all at once. IVs were placed into her veins to start fluids, antibiotics and medications to stabilize her heart and blood pressure. She was placed on a ventilator machine to breathe. Then she was brought to the Intensive Care Unit.
By the time I met my patient, she had tubes coming out of every opening and weeping skin lesions all over her body. I was used to blood and gore, but it was hard to look at her and not cry. Imagine how her parents felt when they saw their once-beautiful little girl in this grotesque state, struggling to survive.
My attending physician told me to grab dinner. This child would need me for the rest of the night. I returned to the ICU to find that my patient had gone into cardiac arrest and died. I watched, helplessly, as the nurses placed the little girl into a body bag.
Fast forward five months: The first chickenpox vaccine was approved. That day, I vowed never to let a child on my watch suffer from a disease that was preventable by vaccination.
That’s a story that doesn’t grab headlines or guest shots on Larry King. Vaccines are one of mankind’s greatest scientific achievements. This year alone, they prevented 14 million infections, $40 billion in medical costs, and most important, 33,000 deaths. Yet vaccines are victims of their own success. Today’s parents are unfamiliar with the diseases they prevent, but these diseases are alive and well in the U.S. — I have personally seen children suffer from them.
Call it the New McCarthyism: Who cares about 100 years of scientific research? Vaccines are evil, because the Internet says they are. When a well-meaning parent like Ms. McCarthy blames vaccines for her child’s autism, it’s dangerous. Celebrity books come and go, but the anxiety they create lives on in pediatricians’ offices across the country. A small but growing number of parents are even lying about their religious beliefs to avoid having their children vaccinated, thanks in part to the media hysteria created by this book.
Parents go through stages of grief when their child is diagnosed with a disorder like autism. We all want to blame someone for our suffering. That’s understandable. Was there something we could have done as parents to prevent this? But why hasn’t the media called out Ms. McCarthy on all the medical inaccuracies in her book? Has anyone actually read it? I have — cover to cover. Here are two revealing points:
Ms. McCarthy told Oprah that her son was a normal toddler until he received his Measles, Mumps and Rubella vaccine (at 15 months of age). Soon after — boom — the soul is gone from his eyes. Yet she contradicts herself in her book: “My friends’ babies all cracked a smile way before Evan did . . . he was almost five months old.” Which is it? Was he normal until his MMR vaccine or were some of the signs missed before he got that shot?
Ms. McCarthy also contends that mercury in vaccines caused damage to her son’s gut and immune system, leading to autism. Yet the mercury preservative Ms. McCarthy assails was removed from the childhood vaccination series in 2001. Her son, Evan, was born in 2002. It’s hard to trust Ms. McCarthy’s medical degree from the University of Google — she comments about the Hepatitis C vaccine that wreaked havoc on a friend’s child. An inconvenient truth: There is no Hepatitis C vaccine.
Doctors do need to do a better job of guiding families through the maze of autism treatments. I also desperately want to know why autism happens and how to treat it. But let’s put our energy into funding autism research and treatment, not demonizing our vaccination program.
Ms. McCarthy is in the trenches, fighting for her son. I, too, am fighting. I am on the front lines everyday, trying to keep our kids healthy and protected. And, after all I have seen, one thing is certain — I’ve vaccinated my own kids and would do it again in a heartbeat.

Readers, Dr. Brown exposes the type of “medical advice” and Bimbo Science the Oprah, The View, and Larry King viewers in your life are getting.
While life often imitates art, it’s sad that the world of “Idiocracy” is already this dominant.

Idiocracy: Millions of American Women Are Taking Medical Advice From Her

By Debbie Schlussel
**** UPDATE: Video Posted Below. ****
Jack Bauer’s, er . . . Kiefer Sutherland’s people are up to their same old one-trick pony: That the real terrorists are not Muslims. This time, they’re . . . Hispanic.
Amidst a lot of fanfare, today, including the usual play on the big screen in New York’s Time Square, the “24” Trailer debuted.
A plane is heading toward the White House to attack it. And wouldn’t you know it?–the plane is not being led by four Muslim terrorists, the way it was on the actual plane that was headed that way, UNITED 93. Nope, it’s Hispanic former CTU agent Tony Almeida (the very hot Carlos Bernard) who’s misdirecting the plane. As on “24,” even when Muslims are the terrorists, it’s only because they’re working for “the man”–the (non-Muslim) White corporate man, the (non-Muslim) Russian man, or some other (non-Muslim) entity or party.

Funny, He Doesn’t Look Like Ziad Jarrah (In Love Gaze w/Mohammed Atta):
Carlos Bernard’s Tony Almeida Is “24’s” Newest Terrorist
This time–as it has been on some movies (to quell angry Muslims)–it’s Hispanics. Remember that Hispanic who gave the orders to the Muslim men piloting Flight 93? Osama Bin Ladenez? Khalid Sheikh Mohammedez?
So, where are LULAC and MeCHa? You know–the groups that claim to stand up for the rights of Latinos in this country, to the point that they support the reconquistador movement?
Do they mind that Tony Almeida–NOT Ziad Jarrah, Saeed Al-Ghamdi, Ahmed Al Haznawi, and Ahmed Al-Nami–is piloting the plane in a whitewash using a Latino as the vehicle?
Apparently not. But CAIR and MPAC and ISNA and MAS do. And their whines are heard in spades.
Well, Tony does have an “Al” (“The” in Arabic) at the beginning of his surname. Close, but no cigar.
Thanks, Jack Bauer. You can’t handle the truth.
**** UPDATE: Here’s the video:

Exit Question: How ’bout, since they’re bringing Tony Almeida back from the dead, they bring Curtis back, too . . . and have him kill off Jack? I liked Jack until he killed Curtis to save a useless Islamic terrorist.
Let’s Roll.
Oh, and one other thing: This business about “the most thrilling season of ’24’ yet” is getting a little bit tired. It reminds me of that annoying “The Bachelor” show, where it’s always “The most dramatic rose ceremony ever.” Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatevah. If they have to say it’s “the most,” it’s probably the least.
What is it they say about “tastes great, less filling?” Less is more.

By Debbie Schlussel
**** SCROLL DOWN FOR UPDATE: “King of California” Review ****
A couple of great choices in this weekend’s new offerings, but neither of them stars Steve Carell. Sorry, “Office” fans, this ain’t it:
* “Lars & the Real Girl“: This has to be the funniest movie I’ve seen all year; no–make that, many years. So bizarre and absurd, I loved it.

Lars (Ryan Gosling, a dead-ringer for David Arquette in his mustachioed splendor, and awesome as the straight man in a comedy routine) is a loner in a small Midwestern town who doesn’t have a girlfriend, even though everyone desperately wants him to have one. Soon enough, though, he announces that he’s met someone and she’s come to visit. Problem is, “Bianca” is an anatomically correct dummy he ordered on the Internet, and he’s psychologically deluded: He thinks she’s a real person.
It’s absolutely hilarious to see Lars take Bianca to church in her wheelchair, to the doctor, and everywhere else. But the funnier part is his brother and sister-in-law. His brother just can’t take the insanity here. And his sister-in-law and the townspeople–initially acting like this dummy is normal per a psychologist’s prescription–ultimately treat this dummy–NOT a human–like a real human being.
It’s so absurd. It reminds me of the way so many PC-types in our world will treat the most abnormal, deviant, or destructive people in our society as normal, just because we can’t make anyone feel different. It’s the same way with Muslims who want to destroy us. Everyone is jumping all over themselves to gush over the most extremist ones. Yup, they are the ones who pander to Biance, and we are the “insane” ones for objecting to treating the non-human as superhuman.
A great movie and parable for what ails America. Completely hilarious. Although I wouldn’t recommend it for kids (it has some crude language and suggestive situations), it’s generally a pretty tame and funny movie despite the movie’s filthy double entendre slogan: “The Search for Love Begins Outside the Box.”
The movie has its unwanted melodramatic moments, but every time it borders on getting to “Lifetime-y,” something absolutely hilarious happens.
At first, I thought this was going to be like one of those endless “Saturday Night Live” skits, with one gag that keeps on repeating worse than a non-Beano-treated chile consumer. But I was wrong. It’s more like the energizer. It keeps going . . . and going, except toward the end where it gets mired in itself. And that’s a minor detail. Fun and entertaining mostly throughout. And a million laughs in between.
Bummed, though, that “Bianca” didn’t get a credit for this film. She’s my fave kinda Hollywood actress. The silent type.
* “Dan in Real Life“: Hands down, the MOST ANNOYING MOVIE OF THE YEAR. If you like Steve Carell’s wit and humor in “The Office,” this ain’t your flick. Nothing funny or witty about this. It’s a sappy chick flick. And the chick is Steve Carell, er . . . Dan. This movie was so annoying I wanted to kill myself. I could not wait for it to be over. NOT funny. Again, NOT funny.
The “Plot,” if you can call it that: An advice columnist and widower on the verge of stardom has three bratty, whiny, annoying daughters. He meets up with his totally annoying entire extended family to Thanksgiving weekend at their cottage on the lake. At a bookstore, he meets a woman he knows is “the one” (Hollywood’s most over-rated actress–tired, haggard, pretentious, and annoying Juliette Binoche; huh?–she’s soooo pretentious). But on his return to the cottage he realizes she’s his brother’s (the NOT funny “comedian” Dane Cook) new girlfriend. That doesn’t stop him from not taking his own advice, and pursuing her through a series of bad, silly, trite “Three’s Company” sitcom situations. Oy.
Then, there’s this whole scene where his family is trying to set him up with a woman who allegedly has a “pig face”. Uh, hello, Steve Carell’s oldest daughter who participates in the joking looks just like a pig face. Better casting, next time. And better placement, too, like on the Lifetime Channel or Nick at Nite.
Jack Tripper and Greg Brady (and Jan Brady, too) called. They want their life story back.
There is absolutely no-one likable in this sappy, predictable movie, so why should we care about any of them, including’ Carell’s Dan? Dan in Real Life. Dan in Imaginary Life. Don’t waste your two hours and ten bucks for either one of them.

* “Bella“: There are few movies coming out of mainstream Hollywood, these days, that are pro-life. Fewer still that win as many major film festival awards as “Bella.” Glad to see this one crashed through the glass ceiling of feminist abortion Orthodoxy. And it has a certain charm to it, too, while being a tad too emotional and melodramatic for my taste. But maybe that’s necessary, given the topic and storyline. The movie’s pro-life message is subtle and doesn’t hit you over the head the way liberal messages from Hollywood do.
A non-Hispanic waitress at a Hispanic (Puerto Ricano) restaurant in New York comes late to work one to many times, and she gets fired. But Jose, the restaurant owner’s handsome, moral brother and main chef walks out in solidarity with her (and to give her comfort). He learns she’s pregnant with the baby of a man she doesn’t love and plans to get an abortion. Now, out of a job, she can’t afford the kid, and didn’t want to have it anyway. She had to grow up too fast, at age 12 when her father died. And her mother and she are not close. She has no-one to help her with this child, so she wants to snuff it out at the clinic.
But Jose–once about to become a multi-million dollar pro soccer player–has had tragedy strike in his life. He knows what it’s like to take a child away, and he wants to stop this. He takes Nina to the beach and to meet his family, where she learns about his life.
This is a movie about crossroads. Do you have an abortion and get on with your life and forget this was a life? Or do you make another choice? Does Nina keep her baby for Jose’s sake? And is the ending real or an image of what could happen in their future?
The movie raises the question in a poignant way, which–like I said–we rarely, if ever, see from LaLa Land.
**** UPDATE–“King of California“: Several readers have asked my opinion about this indie flick starring Michael Douglas and Evan Rachel Wood. Douglas is teen Wood’s loser father, who just came out of the mental hospital. But even though he seems, as usual, deluded, his daughter (who supports herself working at McDonald’s) wants to believe in her Dad. So, when he comes up with this cockamamie-sounding scheme to find allegedly hidden treasure–and it ends up being buried under a local Costco–she goes along, even though she doubts it every step of the way and thinks he’s mad yet again.
At first, I hated this movie. You know–the usual disheveled, loser, deadbeat, nutty father figure portrayed by Hollywood. But, in the end, this father appears to be the unsung courageous man who makes the ultimate sacrifice to make sure his daughter’s life is a good one. I liked it, though I wish there was more of a pay-off at the end. Bonus: It’s only about 1.5 hours, my ideal movie length.