By Debbie Schlussel
The 1990 “2 Live Jews” parody song and video (from the album, “As Kosher as They Wanna Be“) stands the test of time (first video). Somebody else even thinks it should be the Al Gore theme song (“An Inconvenient Schmuck”), given his constant “global warming” whining (second video-just okay, but great concept).
Remember, it’s not the heat. It’s the humidity:

By Debbie Schlussel
**** UPDATE: Predictably, Dearbornistan-Miami Port Three hold CAIR Press Conference to attack law enforcement. Convicted Felon, Hassan El-Sayed, claims they were “treated like animals.” Yes, Treated Like Convicted Felon Animals Who Lie to Police (and now plan to file a lawsuit!?!?). ****
**** SCROLL DOWN FOR MORE UPDATES ****
Yesterday, when I wrote about the three men in a truck at the Miami port, I said they could possibly be involved in stolen auto parts or other forms of fraudulent auto sales frequently tied to Islamic terrorism.

As of yesterday morning, unfortunately, the men–two Iraqis and a Lebanese man–were released and the charges against them dropped by Judge Gerald Klein, one of the many members of the not-so-exclusive “Stupid Judges and the Terrorists Who Love Them” club.
But now we know their names, Amar Al-Hadad, Hussain Al-Hadad, and Hassan El-Sayed. And we know a lot about their history. And it suggests incarcerating and investigating them, NOT releasing them and dropping all charges.
I mentioned the work of private investigator and terrorism analyst Bill Warner of South Florida. His work on terrorist group Al-Muhajiroun and Islamic Thinkers Society (and their presence in New York) is unmatched, but often plagiarized by a prominent so-called terrorism expert.
Warner has also exposed many used car rings around the country and their ties to Islamic terrorism and various forms of fraud involving used cars, as well as their use in car bombs. Bill has linked prominent Islamic terrorists, like Sami Al-Arian, with the used car business, a fact that prosecutors in the case confirmed (but, unfortunately, did not use in the everything-but-the-kitchen-sink case against him).
Bill looked into the Dearbornistan-Miami Three and cannot believe they were released. I agree with him. It’s incredible, but leave it to our “law enforcement” to do the PC thing and let these “poor souls” go. Here’s what Bill tells me about the men:

THESE GUYS IN MIAMI ARE INTO SHIPPING USED CAR PARTS AND SALVAGE VEHICLES OUT OF THE USA, ONE OF THEM, HASSAN MOHAMMED EL-SAYED HAS AN ARREST FOR Motor Vehicle CD, False Certification.
Motor Vehicle CD, False Certification MEANS THAT THE GUY HAD A FALSE CERTIFICATE OF DESTRUCTION (CD) ON A SALVAGE VEHICLE THAT WOULD BE SHIPPED OUT OF THE USA AND THEN YOU USE THE VIN ON THAT CD VEHICLE TO MAKE A “BLACK CAR” OUT OF A STOLEN VEHICLE OF THE SAME MAKE AND MODEL, THESE GUYS ARE INTO IT.
EL-SAYED DID AT LEAST THREE YEARS IN PRISON THESE GUYS ARE EXACTLY WHAT I HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT FOR THE LAST 3 YEARS!
YOU DO NOT DRIVE FROM DEARBORN TO THE PORT OF MIAMI IN A 18 WHEELER TO SHIP CAR PARTS!
THEY LET THEM GO, WHAT IDIOTS!
Charges dropped and at least one guy is an ex-con linked to the stolen car racket?
Is there something wrong with the Sea Ports in Michigan or New York State that would cause these goons to drive an 18 wheeler loaded with car-parts, 1,386 miles to Miami’s Sea Port?

Bill Warner provided me a copy of the El-Sayed’s criminal and prison records, which is on the Michigan Department of Corrections Website. The man has two aliases in addition to his name. He was sentenced for seven different crimes. He has an “Allah” tattoo and another bearing a black and red panther.
Given his past crimes, did anyone bother to check the origin or destination of the car parts found in the truck? Would love to know the name of the trucking company, too. I asked these questions, yesterday. I doubt that’s happening. If an investigation were ongoing as one commenter tried to claim, yesterday, it’s unlikely the men would have been released and the charges dropped.
And since he did at least 2.5 years in jail, Warner asks how it is that El-Sayed doesn’t speak or understand English, as he claims? (It was all a “miscommunication,” we’ve been told by authorities.) Anyone in law enforcement will tell you that’s a common lie employed by aliens (legal AND illegal) up to no good.
And there’s more. It was reported that inside the truck were 9 pallets of automobile wiring harnesses. Bill Warner asks:

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH LAW ENFORCEMENT?
WHERE DID THESE GOONS GET 9 PALLETS OF AUTOMOBILE WIRING HARNESSES?

(See UPDATE #4, below. It’s now 22 pallets, according to the latest press accounts.)

Automobile Wiring Harness
Warner explains that automobile wiring harnesses:

replace old, frayed, or damaged wiring.
Such a product would be needed to rewire cars that have ignition problems which occur in flood cars such as Katrina cars from New Orleans that are shipped to Latin America or the Middle East for resale.
It all revolves around the used car racket, flood cars are listed as a (CD) certificate of destruction cars, that needs to be destroyed and yet such cars are sold every week at the Auto Salvage Sales and then shipped to Latin America or the Middle East for resale, big profits if you buy a 2005 BMW flood car for $2,500.00, ship by container for $1200.00, clean it up and rewire it and then sell it for $48,000.00 or more.
At retail of $339.99 ea wiring harness, these goons had 9 pallets of the product, and they were hauling a load worth at least $600,000.00. Where did these goons get the product if it was theirs, and where did they get the cash?

Great questions I’d bet law enforcement, including the FBI, didn’t ask. They just let the guys go. Great. And the profits from these car sales often go to finance terorrism, if the cars, themselves, aren’t used in car bombs.
Hard to feel safe when the Dearbornistan-Miami Port Three roam the streets, free and clear.
**** UPDATE #2: Incredibly, “former” Islamic terrorist, friend of ICE’s Abu Moskowitz, and eternal FBI award revokee, Imad Hamad, is upset about the “cloud” on their criminal records:

We understand that mistakes happen, but when they happen this often, it makes you wonder,” Imad Hamad, regional director of the American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee in Dearborn said. . . .
Hamad said all of the men would continue to live under a cloud because the charges are part of their criminal records.

Because convictions, 3 years in prison for seven felonies involving forgery, and auto fraud are NOT a “cloud,” right?

Didn’t They Get the Memo?: Miami Vice Look is Out
**** UPDATE #3: Press reports are now saying Hassan El-Sayyed is 26, NOT 20, as was reported heretofore. How did his age suddenly change? Did he lie about that, too? Just asking. Did the FBI and DHS?
**** UPDATE #4: Apparently, they didn’t just have 9 pallets of the automobile wiring harnesses. They had 22 pallets. And not only that, the parts and harnesses were headed to Latin America, where Hezbollah and other Islamic terrorist groups have a growing, unfettered presence, and from which they could easily be shipped out to the Middle East. And, oh yeah, they apparently didn’t have Commercial Driver’s Licenses, though still looking in to that (and if so, how did the driver get a job with a trucking company? which trucking company?).

By Debbie Schlussel
Today marks the first (and, hopefully, the last) anniversary of Julie L. Myers‘ a/k/a “The ICE Princess” reign over Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE).
More than a year ago, I began writing about the “President’s” awful nomination of this incompetent woman to head up the enforcement of our nation’s immigration laws and the ever shrinking customs investigations (drug smuggling, money laundering, weapons smuggling, child pornography, etc.) that were the domain of the Office of Investigations of the U.S. Customs Service.

Julie Myers: The Joke That’s Lasted A Year.
What’s the punchline?
(Artwork by David Lunde/Lundesigns)
I put the word “President” in quotation marks because–even though it is his ultimate and foolhardy nomination and subsequent recess appointment–The ICE Princess was in charge of the search for the new ICE chieftain, and she pulled a Cheney. She chose herself, and the President approved because her uncle–General Richard Myers–pressed the President to help his “talented” niece, and her old crony and former boss, DHS chief Michael Chertoff, pimped her to the White House and on America, as well.
It was a year ago today, January 9th–after the cowardly recess appointment–that Myers stepped into her way totally cool office, got her runaway bride glare photogged to be posted all over ICE, and got her unearned credentials.
In that one year, I’ve detailed the tremendous waste of your tax dollars in the name of Myers’ and her cronies’ self-promotion, including a week-long party in her hometown of Kansas City, featuring respected immigration enforcement authority, Tommy Lasorda. At $30-50K, it was a big cha-ching for Lasorda (courtesy of U.S. taxpayers), a good time for ICE Princessdom, and the loss of hundreds of thousands of dollars in your money that could have gone to–and Congress allocated expressly for–immigration enforcement. Myers also absurd, wasteful bonuses–like the $45,000 reportedly given to ICE Director of Investigations Marcy Forman-Friedman a/k/a “Peppermint Patty.”
In that same time, ICE agents from all over the country have repeatedly complained to me that ICE is constantly short of money–that they are constantly short of pens and files to open new cases and investigations, and are not allowed to get oil changes on cars that have driven several thousand miles. ICE can’t afford it.
Then, there are Myers’ failures–no, refusals–to work with local law enforcement to help them help ICE enforce immigration laws. When Costa Mesa, California Mayor Allan Mansoor announced plans to have about 200 officers train with ICE and engage in immigration enforcement, little did he know that Myers would put the kabosh on it. Ditto for a group of Oklahoma legislators who also wanted to partner with ICE to make Oklahoma a State friendly to immigration enforcement. Myers couldn’t be bothered.
She was too busy partying in Kansas City, making dumb ICE Promotional videos, when a great video (minus Myers’ runaway bride visage) was already in existence. Taxpayers paid twice so Myers could stamp herself into it. Proving that twice is not always twice as nice.
And don’t forget The ICE Princess’ creation of a new, high-paying personal legal counsel position, because she wanted her own personal lawyer–being too good to go to the ICE army of lawyers everyone else in her agency uses.
In January, when she started the job (though she had a spy–fellow cronyist spoiled brat, Daniel T. Fahner–at ICE for months before), she began by ordering ICE agents in Texas to turn illegal aliens they arrested at a job site back to the great American abyss, without even verifying their identities. And it’s been similar tactics ever since.
Under her watch, The ICE Princess has allowed agents who participated in sex crimes and harassment to remain on the job, with one even being allowed to retire and collect a generous pension. She’s changed the rules so cronies, like her friend, Traci Lembke (head of ICE’s Office of Professional Responsibility), can keep jobs with limited hours and flexible conditions that are unacceptable and unheard of for a man.
And Lembke’s job doesn’t really matter anymore, anyway. When it comes to professional responsibility, Myers doesn’t care about maintaining honesty and integrity within ICE ranks. She promoted John P. Torres, a man who obtained a job for an unqualified alleged extramarital paramour of his, to a permanent position within ICE and nixed ICE OPR’s prescribed several-month suspension of him. He’s Director of ICE’s Detention and Removal Operations. Not good to have a guy so willing to engage in unethical conduct running that operation (and he’s no qualified to do so, either). Yet, despite that, Myers made him the permanent chief of that division and canceled any discipline for his unethical–and, likely, illegal–behavior. So much for discipline.
She encouraged agents like Brian Moskowitz a/k/a “Abu Moskowitz” to continue consorting with extremist Muslims–even a “former” terrorist–who support terrorism. She hasn’t had a problem with Moskowitz asking that “former” terrorist to recruit Muslim agents, or with the fact that serious investigations into the Islamic community’s involvement in immigration violations have been shut down or ridiculously compromised, to sustain this absurd relationship.
So what are Myers achievements, other than promoting herself at the cost to you, the American taxpayer? Well, she did have ICE do some arrests at employers–first the pallet company in the spring, and then the raid of Swift & Co. meat packing in December. But did you know the Swift raid was a year in the making and planning? If all raids take that long, don’t look for many to happen. Do you enjoy the fact that you paid for a week’s worth of partying for 1,000 ICE personnel in Denver in connection with the raid? Gives extra special significance to the moniker, “Mile High City,” in a lot of ways.
In the case of the pallet company, previously incarcerated illegal aliens were released to freedom to make room for those newly arrested for the cameras. Many of those arrested were released within a day. A big waste, but useful in crafting Myers’ PR and image to the outside world, which is her main goal, since she’s roundly despised within her agency.
Despite zero law enforcement experience, barely having held any job in the Bush Administration for more than a year, and a lackluster record of ever having done anything to deserve this job, a 36-year-old from Kansas had enough pull, enough cronies, and enough protectzia to get the job she wanted, with wanton and wholesale disregard for America’s national security.
We’re not sure who is more harmed by The ICE Princess–the citizenry of the United States of America, or the baby she chose to have while in this very important position that requires 24/7 attention and involvement. Either that baby is suffering from inadequate attention by its mother or the country is suffering from inadequate attention to running the fiefdom that enforces immigration law.
It’s clearly the latter, judging by the past year. Agents are leaving in droves, retiring early despite plans to stay on, and transferring to other agencies even with a steep cut in government paygrade to do so. Morale is at an all-time low. And that is due, in no small part, to the person at the top and her lack of management, leadership, and law enforcement knowledge.
Happy Anniversary to ICE’s own Veruca Salt–the selfish, incompetent Julie Myers. We hope there won’t be a second one.
American Immigration Enforcement Held Hostage, Year One.

By Debbie Schlussel
**** UPDATED: No, this isn’t a joke. Oprah had on her buddy, doctor Mehmet Oz, and these were the questions. ****
Today on Oprah, this was the first topic of discussion:

Oprah, I can’t get my poop to come out in the shape of an “S”. How do you get your poop to come out in the shape of an “S”? Oprah, Please Help!

Other scintillating, high-brow questions were about why Oprah and Stedman’s poop sometimes smells bad.
That’s where HRHSBotU (Her Royal Highness Supreme Being of the Universe) Oprah and I differ. She thinks her “poop” don’t stink. And I think it’s pretty smelly, all the time, including the verbal poop excreted on her daily talk show and in her magazine.

By Debbie Schlussel
Well, now we know “where the heck he is.” As if we care.
Convicted and deported Islamic Jihad terrorist Fawaz Abu Damra, whose relatives were whining that he’s missing, have now “found” him. . . in an Israeli jail.
Seems he was arrested by Israelis after Fatah terrorists who control the Palestinian Authority turned him over. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) says they turned Damra over to the Fatah-controlled PA, so what happened after that seems to indicate that Fatah, which is feuding with its HAMAS terrorist brethren, gave him over to the Israelis:

Immigration and Customs Enforcement spokesman Greg Palmore repeated Monday what had been said Friday – that Damra was flown to Amman on Thursday and taken to the Allenby Bridge, where he was directly handed over to Palestinian authorities. . . .

Israeli Jailhouse Rock:
Islamic Terrorist Fawaz Abu Damra Meets Poetic Justice

Palmore said that if Damra were arrested, Palestinian authorities – not U.S. authorities – must have handed him over to the Israelis.

Why would the PA do that–hand him over?
Well, ostensibly, Islamic Jihad (Damra’s terrorist group) is trying to act as the “broker” of “peace” between HAMAS and Fatah terrorist groups, but it’s hardly an independent broker, and Fatah knows that.
Islamic Jihad is basically HAMAS. The two groups coordinate homicide bombings and a lot of other stuff together, and often claim joint credit for the operations. They are so close that you can almost hear Captain and Tennille singing “Love Will Keep Us Together” (written by evil Zionist Neil Sedaka) in the background. In a letter convicted Islamic Jihad terrorist chief Sami Al-Arian (Damra’s partner in crime) faxed to a friend in Yemen, he wrote,

the merger with the brothers in HAMAS is almost complete.

Well, the “merger” was never completed. The guys in Mergers and Acquisitions never completed the paperwork, apparently. But they’re allies.
So, now, Fawaz Abu Damra is part of the war between the two rival terrorist groups for control of the Palestinian Authority hellhole. And he’s in jail in Israel, where it’s possible he’ll be treated with the “appropriate measures” we humanitarians running American jails never gave him. . . if you know what I mean. Torture of terrorists has been outlawed in Israel since at least 2000. But perhaps he’ll get his from Fatah inmates.
Call it poetic justice. Fawaz Abu Damra, Welcome to “Palestine.”
Meanwhile, back home, his buddy–some idiot named Don Bryant–is very concerned that a terrorist mass-murder fundraiser might actually face justice:

Don Bryant, president of the Greater Cleveland Immigrant Support Network and a friend of Damra’s, was alarmed when he learned Damra had been detained.
“Our biggest fear is that he might stand trial in Israel,” Bryant said. “This is a nightmare for him.”

My biggest fear is that there are too many Americans as clueless as Bryant in our midst. I wonder how many other terrorists Don Bryant has helped in the Cleveland area.
Hopefully, someone’s keeping an eye on him. But, unfortunately, probably not. Just like I was the only media person to attend and cover Damra’s deportation hearing, I’m probably the only one looking into Bryant.

By Debbie Schlussel
ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) deportation agents did their job and deported Imam Fawaz Abu Damra, as I noted Friday. But some people are upset that this convicted terrorist (stripped of his citizenship for failing to note he was part of Islamic Jihad) is gone from U.S. soil.
In possibly one of the most absurdly ridiculous outpourings of compassion I have ever read about, it again begs the question just which terrorists the Muslims–who tell us they are against terrorism–would ever denounce (none, unless there are Americans and Jews involved; don’t you know that they are the “real terrorists” a la O.J.’s “real killers”?).

Probably @ Homicide Bombing Plenary Session:
Islamic Terrorist Fawaz Abu Damra Gone Missing
The sentiments expressed by these people in this article are so outlandish, they’re funny. The man, after all, financed mass murder, and they’re crying for him. It’s a little–no, a lot–like those who are crying over Saddam:

“Being Americans as we are, we expect a little fairness, to a degree, to the extent they would let him call his wife and children,” said Haider Alawan, Damra’s friend and member of the Islamic Center of Cleveland’s council of elders.

Fairness?! The man was tried and convicted, twice–in federal court and immigration court. The man was recently indicted again on federal tax evasion charges. He got to spend years on U.S. soil, had terrorist anchor baby kids who get to stay here and have kids who will stay here. And all the while he was raising money across America for Islamic Jihad homicide bombings, the victims of which included Americans. And they’re whining about “fairness”? If anything, the U.S. bent over backward to treat this guy more fairly than non-Muslim, non-terrorists.

Alawan said Palestinian government officials said they didn’t know where Damra is. A spokesman for the Israeli Prime Minister’s office said Sunday that it had no immediate knowledge of Damra’s case, either.

So tragic. A terrorist is lost in terrorist-land. My heart bleeds.

“We want to know where the heck he is,” said Don Bryant, president of the Greater Cleveland Immigrant Support Network and another of Damra’s friends. “We are outraged with the way this was handled. He was taken away on a witch hunt.”

“Where the heck he is”? How ’bout where the heck your brain is, dude? Outraged at “the way this was handled”? “Witch hunt”? Hello . . .? See my comment above about fairness. And BTW, illegal aliens are gathered up and deported every day like this. Only they didn’t get to languish here for more than a decade after they raised funds for terrorist mass-murder of innocents.

Bryant said Damra was a peaceful interfaith leader in the Cleveland community, who didn’t deserve to be “whisked away.”

Two letters: BS.

Damra’s wife Nasreen and his three U.S.-born daughters are “frantic” with worry, Bryant said. He said Nasreen Damra was too upset about her husband to comment.

Three letters: BFD. I’m upset that they got to be born here because their terrorist daddy was here based on a lie. I’m upset he financed the murder of hundreds. I wish Alisa Flatow’s dad, Stephen, could be “frantic” with worry about her. But he can’t. Because he knows she’s dead . . . dead from one of the many operations for which the “frantic” worrier Mrs. Damra’s husband fundraised.

Alawan said it is most likely that Israeli authorities are holding him. The Allenby Bridge border crossing between Jordan and the West Bank is under Israeli military control.
If that is the case, he could be held in jail, Alawan said.
“He was concerned about going back to Palestine” for just this reason, Alawan said. “He had strong reservations about it.”

That old standby: If at first you don’t succeed, blame the Jews (or their proxy, Israel).

Immigration authorities said Friday that Damra was flown to Amman, Jordan, at 4 a.m. EST Thursday, then crossed the Allenby Bridge to the West Bank.
But his friends and family in Cleveland and in Damra’s hometown of Nablus say no one has heard from him since he was taken.
Hamas and Fatah forces in Nablus are engaged in a bloody battle for power. The Hamas deputy mayor in Nablus was kidnapped over the weekend.

They kill each other, and again, blame the Jews . . . and America.

Alawan expressed bitterness about federal agencies’ efforts to reach out to the Muslim community while at the same time treating Damra in such a callous manner.

Yes, let’s make nice to terrorists to show our Muslim brothers and sisters how much we want them to like us. “Callous”? See comments above about “fairness,” etc.

“You want to have a good relations, based on what?” he said. “You wouldn’t let a man in custody say goodbye? And now, he’s in a black hole in the Mideast.”

We want to have good relations with Islamic Jihad? News to me. Hmmm . . . saying goodbye. Did Alisa Flatow, one of Damra’s victims, get to say goodbye? No, she didn’t. “A black hole in the Mideast.” Wait a sec . . . his co-religionists and countrymen create a black hole out of land they were given, and this is somehow someone’s fault.
I thought Damra was asserting his and his fellow Palestinian’s right to that black hole. Now, he doesn’t want to lay claim to it?
Too late.
So, Damra’s supposedly missing. So sad, too bad.
Thanks to Bill Warner for sending the article.

By Debbie Schlussel
This is about 2.5 years old, but still very funny. It’s just over a minute long and stars the fictional Marv Kleinman, New York City Deputy Commissioner of Savings. It’s made by liberals, but it’s hilarious. You’ll note the credits at the end include Benjamin Chertoff. No, he’s not related to Michael Chertoff (he says if they’re related, it’s “back in the 18th Century”), but he is the journalist who wrote the Popular Mechanics piece and book debunking the 9/11 conspiracy theories.
The funny–no, sad–thing is that, these days, with the Bloomberg Administration welcoming pan-Islamists into its ranks, this could probably be a real welcome video for the Big Apple. And it actually sort of is. The video was made in response to idiotic New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg’s announcement he was offering special savings and discounts to protestors and “activists” who came to town during the 2004 Republican National Convention. “How do you say Akuna Matata in your crazy language?”

By Debbie Schlussel
“Nothing to see here. Move along. No ties to terrorism.”
That’s the trite response we always hear from the FBI and other authorities whenever news of something that seems very, very suspicious breaks. In many of the cases, there probably are ties to terrorism.
That’s been the case with the then-missing 11 Egyptian students. It was also the case with the tunnel-plot in Baltimore (which has a link to the Egyptian students). It’s the case with many breaking news incidents.
The latest is yesterday’s case of the three truck drivers, Iraqi and Lebanese, from Dearbornistan, who tried to enter the Port of Miami in a truck. Two were hiding inside the truck, and the driver lied to authorities, saying that no-one was inside.

Now, law enforcement is saying it’s all a “misunderstanding” and a “miscommunication” and that the men were “legal immigrants.” Well, the driver was age 20. I’m told that you cannot legally drive a truck of that kind at age 20. You must be 21. If that’s the case, how did he get a CDL (Commercial Driver’s License)? Was his fraudulent?
I’ve written time and again about suspicious Muslims seeking CDLs at schools that have subsequently been raided by the FBI, resulting in federal charges. I’ve also written about terrorists like Nabil Al-Marabh, a Bin Laden associate who sought a CDL and the Detroit Terror Cell, which also sought CDLs
Also, what was the name of the trucking company? There are a few in Detroit that I can name, which are suspicious, engaged in apparent fraud, and run by Muslims. Is this one of those companies? Stay tuned.
Finally, the truck was carrying auto parts. Where did they come from? In 2000, Ali and “Mike” Boumelhem, convicted felons, ran a chop shop. As I wrote well before 9/11, they sold auto parts, too. And once, they got caught trying to sneak weapons to Hezbollah inside those auto parts. Would love to know if the auto parts in Miami, yesterday, were legally obtained.
And where were they headed? For what purpose? Investigator Bill Warner has long documented the multiple terrorists involved in the sale of used cars for use in carbombs and to finance terrorism.
That at least 2 of the 3 men have criminal records doesn’t make it any less suspicious.
Lots of questions. Few answers. But instant declarations of “miscommunication,” “not suspicious,” “no ties to terrorism.”
If that’s the case and there’s “nothing doing” here, why are authorities still holding the men, as of the last press reports? Just asking.

By Debbie Schlussel
**** SCROLL DOWN FOR UPDATE. B&V CHANGE ONLY FOR FOUR ISSUES, NOT PERMANENT. ****
Sometimes tradition rules supreme after all. First, New Coke didn’t work, and Classic Coke returned. Now, it’s Betty and Veronica.
Recently, I lamented the change of Betty and Veronica in Archie Comics from their glam original look to a new, trashy Paris Hilton/Nicole Hilton “makeover.”
Archie Comics contacted me, and they say the story isn’t completely true. Apparently, the Wall Street Journal and a gazillion other mainstream media outlets got it wrong. The “new” Betty and Veronica were for one story in four digest comic books. But other than that, they’ll remain the same B & V we’ve always known and loved? I’ve e-mailed Archie Comics, asking about that. Also, what’s the point that they’ll stay the same in the other Archie Comics, if they are the new, trashy version on “Betty & Veronica” digests? Or is it only for one story line, after which they’ll revert back to the old version? Stay tuned.

New Betty & Veronica vs. Old
Here’s the scoop, so far, straight from Archie Comics:

— “[Archie Comics PR] Rik Offenberger” wrote:
From: “[Archie Comics PR] Rik Offenberger”
To: dschlussel@yahoo.com
Subject: If It Ain’t Broke . . .: This Time, It’s Betty & Veronica
Date: Sun, 7 Jan 2007 22:30:29 -0800
Debbie,
I just read https://www.debbieschlussel.com/archives/2006/12/if_it_aint_brok_1.html, Just so you know, we are only talking about changing Betty & Veronica in one story in one of our digest comics. All the other stories and comics will continue to have the classics Archie style. This story although longer will still retain all of the family values found in all Archie comics. When you see the story, you will be pleasantly surprised. If you would like we would be happy to send you a copy.
Rik
——————————————————————————–
Rik Offenberger
Public Relations Coordinator
Archie Comic Publications, Inc.
Archie Comic Publications, Inc.
325 Fayette Ave. Mamaroneck, New York 10543
Phone 914-381-5155
Fax 914-381-2335
www.archiecomic.com

I’ve accepted Rik Offenberger’s offer to send me a copy. And I’ll post my review. But I still don’t like the New Betty and Veronica, and hope it is just restricted to one Digest. We’ll see.
**** UPDATE: Archie Comics responds that the change is only for four issues and one story of the Betty & Veronica Digest. Only temporary:

Debbie,
It’s a 100 page story broken up into four 25 page parts it will be appearing in four issues of Betty & Veronica Double Digest numbers 151-154. The Double digest is 192 pages so this is just a part of that comics. The rest of the comic we will feature the classic Archie look as will every other comic we publish. Since this was planned in addition to what we are doing not instead of classic Archie we think fans will be excited. Somehow people got the impression we were changing the entire line and I have had to spend a lot of time clearing up that misconception. . . . [“Betty & Veronica” Digest] #155 is 100% classic Archie style.
Rik

By Debbie Schlussel
**** SCROLL DOWN FOR UPDATES ****
Many of you, especially my Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agent readers, have been e-mailing me and asking why incompetent, unqualified ICE Chieftess Julie L. Myers a/k/a “The ICE Princess” is still “on the job.”
After all, the Senate rejected her nomination and returned it to the President. And I reported on rumors from high-ranking ICE agents that The ICE Princess was to resign between Christmas and New Years. Unfortunately, that did not happen, and she is still on the job.

Julie Myers: ICE’s Veruca Salt-esque Embarrassment Continues
(Julie Myers Bag Lady by David Lunde/Lundesigns)
Why? Well, as I’ve reported, it has always been The ICE Princess’ and the Bush Admin’s position that the President’s absurd recess appointment of ICE’s own Veruca Salt was good until the beginning of 2008 or 2009 because of the timing of the recess appointment. As I also reported, Newsweek claimed her appointment is good until the end of 2007, but that she might go the way of John Bolton (unfortunately, we lost him, and we’re still apparently stuck with here).
Still, others have said she should legally be out of there, and for now, under the rules regarding nominations, cannot legally collect a salary, by their estimation. Wrote one agent:

I researched recess appointments on the Library of Congress website and concluded that MYERS’ appointment expires when the Congress adjourns “sine die” which I believe has already happened for this Congress. She can be reappointed to another recess appointment but cannot be paid during the second appointment. SO hopefully she is GONE. BUT, just as she is a joke so is the whole agency! The entire structure needs an overhaul. Too many attorneys (sorry) running law enforcement functions leads to no results.
Not that I think anyone of substance will be appointed. What experienced law enforcement official would take on this mess? It’s a losing proposition. I expect that we will keep getting these low level former Assistant U.S. Attorneys who will try to enhance their
careers by getting a judgeship or a United States Attorneys job. Or the ultimate a “K” street job. The lawyers are screwing up all of the
federal law enforcement agencies. They are so afraid of any criticism nothing gets done!

Either way, you would think that a person who was never qualified or wanted for a job, is roundly hated and disrespected by her “colleagues” and employees, and was just rejected by the U.S. Senate without even a vote being held, would get the hint . . . AND LEAVE!!!! But you would be wrong. After all, Veruca Salt Myers chose herself for the job, despite loud, universal objections because, hey, she wanted it. Don’t look for her to leave easily, quickly, or gracefully–as she should have done during this past holiday season.
It’s up to the new Senate to take the reins and dispute her continued presence at Homeland Security. Unfortunately, so far, no dice.
On a related note, the ICE Princess, we hear, figures she can bask in the short-lived PR glow of the Swift meat packing plant raids. But agents tell us that well over $1 million of our tax money was wasted on the raids. Some agents tell us they were put up for a week prior to and just after the raids and spent most of the week partying and visiting bars in locations like Denver (that’s where Abu Moskowitz’s agents spent their tax-paid week-long vacay–vacation, to those of you who don’t get my slang references).
One agent in the know (the agent is involved in some budget-related and management matters) estimates that with all of the money spent on travel, per diems for food and drink, hotels, salaries for the week, the Swift raids may have even cost as much as $2 million in tax money, with very little to show for it, because few charges–if any–will result.
Writes another agent:

The agents and other support staff left for the “raids” on Friday, December 8, 2006. Most went to Denver and deployed from there. Anyway the info on the latest joke “raid” (hyped for the press) is MYERS authorized the spending of about one million taxpayer dollars to send 900 agents to do this “roundup.” Joke is all of these guys will most probably be let go in a day or two and NO CRIMINAL charges will be brought against anyone. Remember the big round-up at the pallet company last spring? Any charges yet? NOPE.

(Actually a couple hundred from Swift were charged. See UPDATE, below.)
One agent points out that many Mexican illegal aliens go home around that time (the time of the Swift & Co. raids) for Christmas holidays, anyway, so The ICE Princess, Veruca Myers, gave them a free trip, courtesy of . . . you!
So there’s bad news and bad news: The ICE Princess is still there (calling it, “on the job,” seems so misleading). And she continues to waste millions in taxpayer money for her own PR campaign. Remember the silly ’50s sex-ed style video she made of herself? More of that coming, for now.
So much for a woman who claimed her sole qualification was that she would introduce “fiscal responsibility” into ICE. Ha!
When will she get the hint . . . and leave? Hard to tell. But not likely, given past selfish ad absurdum behavior.
**** UPDATE: Well, thankfully, one of the ICE agents quoted above incorrectly predicted that no charges would be filed in the Swift cases. Reader John points out that 220 of the aliens were charged with identity theft and other crimes.
**** UPDATE #2: Well, it appears the cost of the Swift & Co. raids is even higher than earlier estimated. Writes an ICE agent:

Debbie, just read the latest on the Ice Princess, you forgot to mention that, in addition to the millions spent during the Swift raid, alot of the agents got comp days off when they returned because the ICE brass screwed them out of overtime that was promised when they all worked on Sat and Sun.