June 12, 2005, - 11:15 am

Michael Jackson & Soccer Unite our Enemies

By Debbie Schlussel
What do Michael Jackson and soccer have in common? That’s easy. Smart Americans with taste dislike both. But our enemies just love Michael Jackson and soccer. It’s part of a secret international IQ test. Post 9/11, if you love freedom and decency, you have no interest in either the silly game of low scoring and the bizarre has-been-pop-star-come-plastic-surgery-victim. If you hate America and love terror, soccer and Michael Jackson are the best things since sliced bread (if you’re from those countries who hate us and haven’t yet emerged into the advanced era of sliced bread, then they are the best things since whole pita with hummus).
As USA Today reports, “‘M.J.’ Has Own U.N. in His Corner Outside Courthouse.” Fans from Oslo (home of the failed give-in-to-terrorists Oslo Accords), Germany (home of the Hamburg cell and O.J-style juries that repeatedly fail to convict Al-Qaeda terrorists), and pot-smoking Amsterdam (where Muslim terrorists assassinate Van Gogh descendants), have all convened outside the Santa Barbara Courthouse to worship at the alter of the “King of Pop.” Foreigners hold up signs with such reassuring messages as “Germany Fights With You!” (Germany fought with Der Fuhrer and the Third Reich, too) and “He’s not Hitler.” Hmmm . . . . That explains why every Muslim terrorist gets away with murder in Germany. They’re not Hitler, either. I guess if you’re not Hitler, anything else goes.

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11 Responses

Most of your articles are excellent exposes related to the war on terror that most others are either unable and more often unwilling to root out and in that sense I commend you and you can consider me a great fan (though I am nowhere near as conservative as you in general outlook, probably more of a moderate in the John McCain or Joe Lieberman mode), but pieces like this only diminish your credibility and make you look like a paranoid bigot rather than someone who is truly concerned about the terrorist threat and our hidden lack of vigilance on it. This is by far the worst article/blog entry I have seen on your site.
Almost all Israelis love soccer just as much as their sworn enemies. I’m sure you don’t think that they hate America, freedom or decency and love terror (and hummus with pita bread is somewhat popular there too).
And while I’m no fan of Michael Jackson either, to equate supporting him with supporting the war on terror is like saying that enjoying riding a bicycle means you support the human rights violations of Communist China since bicycles are so popular there. No wonder you’ve been nicknamed in some circles “Six Degrees of Separation to Al-Qaida”.
Debbie, please stick to the facts; fluff about extremely loose connections like this makes you look like many of the people you otherwise legitimately speak out against.
PS Do you hate baseball too? It’s another low scoring game that many outside of the US find to be boring. I love baseball, but I bet if it was invented today instead of in the 1800s it would only be a kid’s game, a lot of our fascination with the sport is a mere “accident of fate” related to it being introduced in a slower time when pro sports didn’t exist.

hairymon on June 26, 2005 at 10:15 am

Ms. Debbie Schlussel: Your words: Low scoring and the bizarre has-been-pop-star-come-plastic-surgery-victim. If you hate America and love terror, soccer and Michael Jackson are the best things since sliced bread (if you’re from those countries who hate us and haven’t yet emerged into the advanced era of sliced bread, then they are the best things since whole pita with hummus).

Crappy statements like this is what hurt MJ…Didn’t his feelings count….he had no control over who loved him or who hated him…you should be ashamed of yourself…how do you think stories like this made him feel..you journalists made him feel like he didn’t matter, especially here in the US.

MJ was without honor in his own country because of haters like you…I am too upset to say too much except God bless you.

MJJFriend on November 6, 2009 at 2:26 pm

Now I understand, you’re a ultra-nationalist.

Yes, I like soccer and MJ and also I enjoy the tasty arab dishes and even if there are countless sortiments of sliced bread in the stores in my city – I don’t touch them because they taste like chemicals.

A kebab is wonderful compared to McDonalds and KFC chemical bullshit. This is what America has brought to the world: chemicals in food.

You know, I had an uncle who used to travel to the States very often. Quite an important figure on the local scene here in Eastern Europe, he met Bill Clinton while he was in office. Actually he used to travel to the States so often that he even got killed by some doctors in a hospital in New York.

And he told me stories about the States, one of them was like that: “I don’t understand why the food there looks so nice but tastes so bad; actually it has no taste at all, we’ve tried at least 8 kinds of apples and none of them tastes like real apple; also we’ve eaten stakes in countless restaurants but none of them tastes like real stake”. And then he finally understood that most food in the States is chemical and it tastes accordingly.

So comparing natural pita with chemical bread is like comparing the lions of the ummah who fight for Allah with fat office Americans who fight to get even fatter.

Andy on March 17, 2011 at 7:33 am

    steak *

    Andy on March 17, 2011 at 7:36 am

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