November 25, 2009, - 7:38 pm
One of the great things about Thanksgiving (other than a day to give thanks for the great country and our freedoms) is that it’s not a holiday for vegetarians. And certainly not vegans. Yes, there’s the pumpkin pie (or sweet potato pie–they taste very similar to me). And the cranberry sauce. But it doesn’t taste too good on a tofurkey. CNN has a whole thing on vegetarian Thanksgivings, which sounds like an oxymoron to me. None of it sounds too delish. Soya chunks? Yuck-a-not-licious. Add brown food coloring, and it sounds like artificial feces for a movie set.
No, tomorrow is for carnivores, meat eaters. I love turkey. Yes, mine’ll be kosher. But, hey, as I’ve noted in Thanksgivings past, we Jews invented brine. Kosher is the original brine, as we salt all of our meat and poultry. Thus, the name, “Kosher Salt.” Kosher turkey comes brined already. So, we’re already one step ahead on the Thanksgivin’ fixins. Plus no le jambon for us, either. (But, unlike a certain other religion, it’s just fine with us if those non-Jews around us eat ham to their hearts’ content.)
But those of us who are not vegan slobs have one other thing to be thankful for . . . or, rather, thankful for NOT having, those of the male persuasion, anyway: man-boobs a/k/a “moobs.” So, is Jeremy Piven the male Dolly Parton b/c of soy milk, or is this yet another lame excuse for not working out? I post, you decide. And don’t forget that, as I’ve noted in the past, there are, indeed, certain frequently occurring substances and essences in products that make boys and men unwittingly like chicks. From the November 23 issue of US Magazine:
Hey, maybe they should rename his show, “Entourage Plus Twins.”
Tags: brine, carnivores, Entourage, ham, Jeremy Piven, kosher, kosher salt, kosher the original brine, kosher turkey, le jambon, man boobs, meat, moobs, salt, soy milk, Thanksgiving, Thanksgiving is for carnivores, Thanksgiving not for vegans, Thanksgiving not for vegetarians, Tofurkey, Turkey, twins, vegan, vegetarian