July 8, 2005, - 5:29 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
Chubby chasers and other sickos will delight in Oxygen Network’s (the channel for chicks that nobody watches–1/2 owned by Oprah) “Fat Chance,” a new “beauty” pageant for fat chicks. (Oxygen’s slogan is “Oh!” but should be “Oh! No!”)
The show is hosted by disgustingly proud fat comedienne Mo’Nique (author of “Skinny Girls are Evil”) and sponsored by–what else?–“Just My Size.” This is NOT a joke . . . unfortunately. It will feature a lingerie competition. Gross. One wonders what they’ll wear in said lingerie competition. Perhaps a “Cross Your Heart” hammock instead of a bra. Hopefully, no size 24 thongs are on display. There’s a reason Victoria’s Secret doesn’t go that big.
“This is going to be groundbreaking,” Mo’Nique told USA Today. Yes, when a 500-pound woman sets foot, the ground does, indeed, crumble beneath. “It’s time for this,” she says. No, it’s never time for this.
We need a whole lot Less’Nique. Not Mo’.
Tags: Debbie Schlussel Chubby, Mo'Nique, USA Today, Victoria's Secret