February 24, 2010, - 2:32 am

Man Up: Golf Channel Dude Turns in Man Card (for . . . Tiger Woods?!)

By Debbie Schlussel

There are so many man-tears flooding out of the Golf Channel’s Charlie Rymer’s eyes over–of all things–the Tiger Woods press conference, I thought I was watching an episode of “The Bachelor,” and it was “the most dramatic rose ceremony ever!”  Not only does this Rymer dude lose points for surrendering his testicles, but apparently he traded ‘em for a timeshare on Gullible Island.  He claims part of the reason he was crying is that Tiger Woods was “very genuine” in his press conference.  Huh?  Newsflash: the dude robotically read some statement the PR people told him to, as if he was an automoton.  Wake up, Charlie.  And, please, lay off the lavender and tea tree oil.

tigerwoodssmilingcharlierymer

I could see a guy–maybe–crying over . . . a death or tragedy befalling one of his family members, losing a fellow soldier in battle, or experiencing extremely excruciating pain from a serious injury or debilitating illness.  But a heavily scripted, staged press conference by a spoiled brat with a harem and a constantly descending zipper?  Come on.  Girlie-man City. And, Charlie, one word: perspective. Get some.  Man, if I were Bin Laden, I’d be playing this video over and over and over again on my cave widescreen, and I’d consider it for my next martyr recruitment vid. Yup, it’s more pathetic and sad than it is funny, that any grown man other than Tiger Woods would cry over a Tiger Woods press conference.

Frankly, if I had to cry over a Tiger press conference, it would be over the White Tiger press conference, not the Cablinasian Tiger press conference. And only because it wasn’t that funny.

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21 Responses

It’s not as if Golf was a contact sport. (And please be quite because that ball might fall off that tee)

Bob on February 24, 2010 at 3:43 am

And since we’re on the subject of golf…Neither golf nor bowling are an Olympic event but Curling is? Don’t get me wrong; if an old fat man can do it it is a hobby not a sport. (I suppose that’s why they call them Olympic Events not necessarily sports)
But I digress…aside from the competitive nature of the “sport”, the only manly thing about golf is you can smoke cigars while playing. (C’mon…look at the clothes they wear)

Bob on February 24, 2010 at 3:56 am

I am hoping that this is the last posting for a while on T.W (total wus). I think most of America is tired of hear/reading about this creep.
There is one thing I find confusing about what appears to be many of the tramps he slept with. I was watching one interview with a reporter from Vegas who claimed that it was common knowledge that Tiger was an atrociously bad tipper. As in really, really, really bad. Now that doesn’t surprise me at all. What does surprise me is that all these cocktail waitresses would date a guy who is not attractive and doesn’t tip. Was he that smooth a talker? And don’t tell me it was because he was rich, because if he doesn’t tip you, he may as well be the busboy (nothing against busboys, I’m just sayin’).

Bob on February 24, 2010 at 4:09 am

Maybe that guy should be on the Lifetime channel, not the Golf channel.

The last time I cried was, damned if I can remember.

Tempus Fugit on February 24, 2010 at 7:01 am

60 minutes should rerun their Tiger Woods episode so people can see him in a different light than what his was portrayed by Ed Bradley. What you will see is the brash cockiness that the press so diligently hid from the public.

Tim on February 24, 2010 at 8:24 am

Flipping around on the TV this past weekend, I stopped at golf and I saw a male player wearing all pink. My Wed. night golf buddies would beat me up if I showed up dressed like that.

Tiger and Derek Jeter are man-whores, but the difference is that Tiger got married. This whole rehab BS is not to rehab his behavior, rather his marketability.

If Tiger is a Buddhist, then why did he get married? Aren’t Buddhist suppose to avoid attachments? But, really, who cares anyway?

Rick on February 24, 2010 at 9:21 am

Deb – I think you were punked!
That Golf Channel clip is actually a SNL skit…..right?

Nick Fury on February 24, 2010 at 9:41 am

I’d have more respect for golfers if they carried their own bag, or at least rolled a pull cart. Also if they weren’t always complaining about “too much noise, quiet down fellas”. A real man can hit a golf ball with 10,000 people screaming, no problem.

Truth on February 24, 2010 at 9:42 am

For the record golf and auto racing are not sports. They are outdoor activities. When women can compete at the same level like Danica Patrick or Michelle Wie then it is not a sport. For it to be a sport the men must be physically superior than the women in the same sport like boxing, hockey, basketball, tennis, baseball or football. None of those sports have women even coming close to being in the men’s leagues.

CaliforniaScreaming on February 24, 2010 at 10:38 am

    I agree golf and racing aren’t sports.

    But, when is Danica Patrick and Michelle Wei actually competing at the same level?

    They are both ESPN media creations. Patrick has finished far, far out of competition in Nascar and didn’t she win just one minor Indy style race?

    Same for Michelle Wei. Did she ever even win a ladies tourney? I don’t think she ever even qualified for a men’s tournament.

    Jeff W. on February 24, 2010 at 6:19 pm

Tiger is a BIG phony. His mother is a BIGGER PHONY.

Does anyone have discernment anymore?

goldenmike4393 on February 24, 2010 at 11:52 am

We should’ve known better …when he changed his name from “Eldrick” to ” Tiger “…and kept his personal life a big secret…you can’t trust people like that.

Signed,
Barry Soetoro

Catfur on February 24, 2010 at 12:46 pm

That was hilarious. Charlie Rymer just earned a spot in the wuss hall of fame. I think the real reason he was crying is because the whole Gold Channel owes its existence to Tiger Woods.

Kaiser Sozay on February 24, 2010 at 1:17 pm

california screaming: you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. My son is a top age-group golfer, and he works out about an hour each day (in addition to playing golf). There are whole gyms which do nothing but specific training for golfers. Any golfer who dosen’t work out (and run or bike) is destined to suck.

Clearly, you haven’t played golf competitively, because there is tremendous athleticism involved accelerating a club head to speeds of 100 mph plus and hitting a ball 200 yards to within a few yards.

Oh, and, BTW: check out the HBO special on Jimmie Johnson, and then tell me auto racing’s not a sport.

adam on February 24, 2010 at 3:15 pm

    Curlers, shuffle board players, dart players, bocci ball, and bowling all require a great skill but they aren’t sports. Cheerleading requires great athleticism but it isn’t a sport either. Hey cheerleaders burn more calories an hour than golfers. I don’t buy that Golf is a sport. Walking from one hole to the next isn’t a requirement, you can use a golf cart. Oh I guess the PGA won’t allow golf cart. Well walking isn’t part of the scoring or part of the strategy of golf.

    Let’s not start with auto racing. When I drive 140mph down a dusty barren highway in the desert it doesn’t make me more of an athlete. Plus Danica Patrick did defeat all the boys in an Indy certified race, plus second place in the Detroit Grand Prix.

    http://jalopnik.com/381837/danica-patrick-first-woman-to-win-indycar-race-proves-shes-not-just-a-piece-of-meat

    Now try boxing. Will a woman ever beat a top flight male boxer? Never. Tennis? Venus or Serena Williams would get pounded by Roger Federer. Let’s not even talk about the WNBA.

    CaliforniaScreaming on February 24, 2010 at 10:13 pm

Tiger is a media robot programmed by his controllers. If he was real he might have said he loved his wife. Chances are she is just a paid employee in the Tiger Camp.

Tim Flaherty on February 24, 2010 at 3:35 pm

I would say that the tears arise from that man’s realization that the Golf Channel is going to see its viewership plunge. Golf, in and of itself, is not a very exciting game to watch. Tiger Woods gave golf an excitement that it never intrinsically possessed.

sorrow01 on February 24, 2010 at 4:49 pm

me thinks he is looking for a position or at the least an exclusive interview with tiger. or a little attention. real men do not become worked up over this crap let alone women.
i hope he has no wife or children ( or living parents ),if so they must be ashamed of their sissy man.
i am guessing he is a liberal dem. by his compasion (open gayness).
i am still stunned that anyone would cry over tiger,let alone on tv. what a huge girlie boy.

c stryker on February 24, 2010 at 8:41 pm

i just saw the picture of charlie with the golf club on his shoulder! he is allllll the way out of the closet.
mabe the muslims are on to something when
they condem our society.
since obama was elected the media is showing its true colors.
it would be awesome to send charlie to hati to report on the condition of the golf courses after the earthquake and let some starving tiger wanna be caddys snatch his mike from him when he starts welling up over the damaged sand traps and club houses and mandingo him live on camera.
i can smell the ratings.

c stryker on February 24, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    mr stryker,
    i am outraged that you seem to believe hatians and black men in general are bisexual in that they would ” mandingo ” a chubby white sissy boy in a fit of outrage.
    do not paint all black men with your outrageous gay/bisexual brush.
    yes,many strong black brothers are on the “down low” but this is only due to the gay white man teaching my brothers bad habits over the years in schools and prisons.
    white men and women lust after the powerful african warrior male so it is only natural that tiger and other black men fall prey to the devious white men and women who desire the so called mandingo love. i do agree that the picture of charlie is really gay. free mandela!

    velvet williams on February 24, 2010 at 9:39 pm

Velvet Williams, all I can say is ewww, gross. Anyways, the cry baby on that golf show should be embarrassed. Sorry, but most of us women want a real man…not some “sensitive” guy who is in touch with his emotions and cries on T.V. about Tiger Woods apology. The only thing Tiger is sorry about is that he got caught…otherwise he would still be boinking skanky cocktail waitresses.

Angela04 on February 28, 2010 at 9:54 am

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