February 24, 2010, - 2:32 am
There are so many man-tears flooding out of the Golf Channel’s Charlie Rymer’s eyes over–of all things–the Tiger Woods press conference, I thought I was watching an episode of “The Bachelor,” and it was “the most dramatic rose ceremony ever!” Not only does this Rymer dude lose points for surrendering his testicles, but apparently he traded ’em for a timeshare on Gullible Island. He claims part of the reason he was crying is that Tiger Woods was “very genuine” in his press conference. Huh? Newsflash: the dude robotically read some statement the PR people told him to, as if he was an automoton. Wake up, Charlie. And, please, lay off the lavender and tea tree oil.
I could see a guy–maybe–crying over . . . a death or tragedy befalling one of his family members, losing a fellow soldier in battle, or experiencing extremely excruciating pain from a serious injury or debilitating illness. But a heavily scripted, staged press conference by a spoiled brat with a harem and a constantly descending zipper? Come on. Girlie-man City. And, Charlie, one word: perspective. Get some. Man, if I were Bin Laden, I’d be playing this video over and over and over again on my cave widescreen, and I’d consider it for my next martyr recruitment vid. Yup, it’s more pathetic and sad than it is funny, that any grown man other than Tiger Woods would cry over a Tiger Woods press conference.
Frankly, if I had to cry over a Tiger press conference, it would be over the White Tiger press conference, not the Cablinasian Tiger press conference. And only because it wasn’t that funny.
Tags: Charlie Rymer, cried, cries, crying, funny, girlie-man, girlieman, Golf Channel, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Kimmel Live, man-tears, pathetic, press conference, SAD, tears, Tiger Woods, video, White Tiger press conference