December 31, 2010, - 4:49 pm

HOprah Watch: Just Kill Me TV Rings in the New Year

By Debbie Schlussel

As you must know if you read a newspaper or watch any TV, on New Year’s Day, along with ringing in a new calendar year, cable TV will ring in yet another crappy channel with more crappy, empty filler “programming.”  It’s called OWN a/k/a the Oprah Winfrey Network.  I call it, “Just Kill Me TV.”  ‘Cuz, below, is the garbage that’s on this, um, “network.”  Utter CUH-RAP.  Fecal material to the max.  Even the cooking show, ” Cristina’s Big Bowl of Love,” sounds like a new age show for gay poodles chanting at an ashram . . . or a sex therapy show set in a swimming pool.  I wouldn’t want to eat anything cooked in it.  Nope.

oprahislam.jpg

(Oprah artwork by Six Meat Buffet/Preston Taylor Holmes)

And the Oprah-niks know it’s crap.  That’s why in her barrage of interviews for the last two weeks flacking this ADC–All Dung Channel–Oprah is trying to “manage expectations downward” about ratings and she and Lisa Erspamer, the network chief she hired, are saying they won’t look at ratings (riiiight).  Only a moron would watch Dr. Phil re-runs, behind the scenes of the making of Oprah, and HAMAS-panderer Lisa Ling‘s documentary series against America.  But, then, only morons watch Oprah and Dr. Phil in the first place.  And you know that conventional wisdom about the birthrate of suckers–one a minute?  That’s a very conservative estimate, or these idiots wouldn’t be big, wealthy stars to begin with.

Dude, how on earth can there be a “Best of” Dr. Phil?  That’s like saying, “Best of Saudi Beheadings in Chop-Chop Square.”  Or, “Best Noises Heard from Someone Having a Bowel Movement in an Airport Restroom.”  There just is no “best” possible in this case.  Sorry.

I mean, if you’re a woman (that’s the target audience, plus gay men who assume the position) who has nothing better to do than watch shows with has-beens like Rosie O’Donnell, the Judds, Tatum & Ryan O’Neal, and some desperate red-headed, plump, divorced princess who needs money ‘cuz the royals cut her off and she got caught on video soliciting bribes (Princess Sarah Ferguson if you don’t know), then you’re pathetic, baby.  Ditto, if you need to watch a show about the redemption of female cons in Indiana prison.  Or if  you feel the compulsion to watch a reality show about one of the many morons who watch “Oprah” and are trying to host a show on this moronic new channel.  Yeah, this is the high-quality stuff of Gitmo torture.

I’m gonna make a bold prediction:  OWN will be a ratings failure.  Oprah and her peeps (that’s “people,” to you and me and others who don’t live in a $120 million seaside California mansion and then pretend we’re soooo ghetto and “down with the struggle, girlfriend”) know this.  That’s why, as I noted above, they’re warning everyone not to expect much.

And guess what?  I never expect much when it comes to Oprah.  I haven’t been disappointed yet . . . but only on that front.  Every time she achieves a new low in her HOprahness, I always know the nadir can reach a further bottom.

You know why I own the website, OprahSucks.com. It’s an eternal truth. She always has, and she always will.

Hey, It’s My Fave Oprah Personalities, HAMAS Lisa Ling & the Execrable, Islamo-Pandering Dr. Phil . . .

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56 Responses

Since I’ve never watched even a moment of HoPrah I’m about 100 percent sure that this is simply something else that I’m not going to watch. Shows like this one, the original HoPrah and many others are the reason why I rarely watch any television at all.

kenny komodo on December 31, 2010 at 11:36 pm

Oprah and Whoopi–Two pieces of trash that just won’t go away.

Patrick on January 1, 2011 at 1:08 am

Dear Oprah, The 50 foot tall, gold statue of yourself you commissioned me to sculpt will be finished in time for your first new show. Sincerely, Michelangelo

David on January 1, 2011 at 9:26 am

Debbie, I’m right with you, Girl! I don’t watch Oprah, can’t stand Dr. Phil and have been sure this All Oprah All the Time Channel will fail since I first heard about it. Looking at the programming information you provided, it doesn’t look like all of this put together will fill an entire day, so will they just broadcast a test pattern the rest of the time? I know as soon as her show goes out of syndication she will fill the hours with More Oprah, but what about until then? And giving her BFF Gayle King her own show. R-i-i-g-h-t! More Oprah all the time. This woman’s ego has no end.

And David, apparently there really IS a giant gold statue of Oprah somewhere, as I saw a photo of it in her Kitty Kelley biography. Oprah thought it made her look fat.

DG in GA on January 1, 2011 at 9:33 am

C’mon Debbie, how do you REALLY feel about this network?

gregdn on January 1, 2011 at 11:17 am

Oprah Winfrey is a has been. The only reason she is vanishing from a more mainstream venue is due to her long evident decline in ratings. Oprah Winfrey has been unable to attract a significan number of new viewers, so her audience demographic is leaving what would be considered a desirable for advertisers. To be blunt, Oprah has an aging audience which is shrinking. Women in their late fifties and above tend not to go for the same products that are of interest to women still actively forming and raising families. Even those exotic and expensive vacations that Oprah Winfrey pushes are increasingly out of the reach of most women, especially since the recession. So, Oprah is really just taking a prolonged exit, rather than extending her career with this new network. She will be lucky if her show lineups exceed the viewership of public access television or C-Span.

Worry01 on January 1, 2011 at 11:57 am

Well!*! I’m glad I wasn’t eating when I read this post.

But really, the Oprah network is just a step ahead (or behind, really), the newspapers. The newspapers were never that great, but bad as they were, they are continuing to sink and dumb down, and succomb even more to mock feminism and political correctness. And they will reach (or, rather, fall to) the level of the Oprah network before long. The Oprah network just shows everyone else what direction to decline to in the future. Lighting a lamp for them really isn’t the correct expression; digging a hole might be a better one.

Little Al on January 1, 2011 at 1:02 pm

The other thing that really strikes you when you look at this schedule is the arrogance of this network, which isn’t surprising for a bunch of liberals.

Makes sense w/Debbie’s comment that only a bunch of morons watch this. Whatever happened to entertainment? Advice in the kitchen, advice in the bedroom, advice in the living room, will they get to the bathroom next? Aside from the nasty character of the ‘advice’, didn’t people used to listen to radio and TV to be entertained?

Ironically, when this was the case, people were better informed and more level-headed than now, when they watch in order to be advised. And the educational shows of years ago were really educational, discussing our country’s great traditions and history, science (real science, not fraud science like global warming), and education about the flaws of Communism and other totalitarian movements.

Just part, whether consciously or unconsciously, of the liberal, totalitarian-like campaign to mold our minds by all this ‘advice’. Let’s hope Debbie’s right and the ratings fall to zero=territory. But, unfortunately, it is still just a matter of time until the liberals mold all of us. I don’t see meaningful trends in the opposite direction.

Little Al on January 1, 2011 at 1:16 pm

LMAO…wait until you’re as successful as her then talk shit Debbie.

Maggie on January 1, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    What sort of success are you talking about? Do you measure success as something financial? You are quite the materialist, aren’t you? Do you look up to drug dealers as well? Al Capone and Pablo Escobar would be sucessful by your definition.

    Worry01 on January 2, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Maggie, Debbie is a successful woman, so what the hell are you talking about? Debbie is giving out the “FACTS” about your woman, Oprah Winfrey, and I guess to left wingers like Maggie giving out the facts towards anyone is is risky? Maggie, if you can’t use any type of critical thinking, then I advise you don’t post here anymore, we use what god gave us all, & that’s a brain. If you want to be a clueless and ignorant sheep, then this is not the place for you, I suggest you go to one of Oprah’s sites or this Lisa Ling’s website and use emotions and no thinking at all.

BTW, happy new year to all of you here, including you Ms. Schlussel!

“A nation is identified by it’s borders, language & culture!”

Sean R. on January 1, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Oh & BTW Maggie, how much did “OWN” (assuming your on OWN’s payroll) paid your ass to come onto this website and shill for your woman Oprah Winfrey? And if your not employed by OWN, more likely your one of Oprah’s mindless followers?

“A nation is identified by it’s borders, language & culture!”

Sean R. on January 1, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Too late, Al. Oprah has already done a bathroom show. She had a specialist come on and describe the perfect poop. And it shouldn’t stink, don’t ya know? Ever eager to be the new little best friend of some Important Person, Oprah proclaimed that her poop don’t stink!

And I am not making this up.

Too Late! on January 1, 2011 at 4:31 pm

“sigh” -more media not to watch.

Tanstaafl on January 1, 2011 at 4:49 pm

Exactly how is Oprah a ho? And since when is saying peeps ghetto? Just give up the hate Debs! It’s a whole new year to Start over and be a good, nice person!

Mike on January 1, 2011 at 5:00 pm

    You are even worse here than you are on your Islamist rants Mike. Get your caregiver to do the posting for you.

    Worry01 on January 2, 2011 at 3:38 pm

Happy New Year Debbie!

More vapid programming (at best). I THINK public access television has higher ratings on average than HOprah right about now. As usual Debbie, you hit it ON THE SCREWS.

Liberalism is a mental disorder.

Jon

Jon on January 1, 2011 at 6:43 pm

Gotta disagree with you, Debbie: “Strangest noises heard in an airport restroom” has a lot of potential as a show compared to the OWN. A lot of potential. Yeah…

Occam's Tool on January 1, 2011 at 7:03 pm

Really? Judge fairly and not by your biases. Hate doesn’t get you anywhere and you should represent us, the Jewish people, correctly, don’t fight hate with hate.

John on January 1, 2011 at 8:12 pm

And to think that (Dis)OWN replaced another cable channel of (in some people’s opinions) somewhat dubious value – Discovery Health. Which I only really watched for “Dr. G: Medical Examiner.”

ConcernedPatriot on January 1, 2011 at 8:13 pm

I have yet to figure out what people see in Oprah or Dr. Phil for that matter. Tried watching each once and vowed never again. Maybe it’s the sensationalism or the inflated egos. Whatever it is I surely don’t need them to advise me how to live my life. Belief in G-d and Jewish ethics fills the bill every time.

Naomi Romm on January 1, 2011 at 8:18 pm

I have a couple of remarks also to make re Maggie’s gutter comments. Sean R. is correct. Unfortunately we are defined by our culture, and with Oprah around, our culture is pretty pathetic.

Maggie makes a grammatical error in her short comment — she says:

“wait until you’re as successful as her then talk shit Debbie.”

Aside from the obscenity showing a lack of ability to use language effectively, the correct wording is “successful as ‘she’. Maybe if Maggie spent more time learning English instead of watching (or producing or participating in) Oprah, she would be able to use proper English.

But on a more fundamental level, Maggie reflects the typical arrogance of the elite. Leaving aside Debbie’s success, and her intellectual integrity, something her critics lack, elitists assume that if you are not as successful as they, you forfeit your right to criticize them. This is why they are so mad at the people who voted against the Democrats this fall. Who are these lowly people who have the nerve to criticize the successful elite? The contempt just oozes out of them. We are all beneath them, and thus how dare we criticize them? All we’re good for is paying taxes for their ill-conceived schemes.

Little Al on January 1, 2011 at 8:36 pm

Well, I guess no post would be complete unless we heard from the muzzies. Guess this one learned how to write in Saudi Arabia, judging from the semi-literacy of it. It is fitting that an anti-semitic lowlife like this would identify with Oprah and choose to write this trash on a post that deals with Oprah; they’re two of a kind. Oprah is just a little bit slicker, but rest assured, she agrees with ‘fisher”s substance. He just writes what she is really thinking.

And for fisher to write his lies about the Liberty when his muslim buddies are responsible for 9/11, and hundreds upon hundreds of other terrorist acts against decent people. Then again,remember he is speaking for Oprah.

Little Al on January 2, 2011 at 12:28 am

Although I have seldom more than a portion of Oprah or Dr. Phil, from what little I’ve seen, Oprah productions are junk and a total waste of time. I’m am 100% certain that the Oprah Network is to be avoided. From what little I’ve seen of America’s Oprah fixation, the comedy masters at MadTV surely have got her number: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kN_l7NRXLBk

Ralph Adamo on January 2, 2011 at 1:54 am

And fisher and maggie are almost certainly the same person. Same poor grammar, obscenity and point of view.

Little Al on January 2, 2011 at 3:26 am

Well, George A., or fisher or maggie or whatever your latest incarnation is, the canard of a deliberate Israeli attack on the USS Liberty is another in a long series of antisemitic smears by a disgusting crew of Muslims, Buchanites, and some military and government people who either know better or should know better.

I am enclosing a link to a definitive article in Azure, an Israeli publication, written in 1990 by Michael Oren, an academic and current Israeli Ambassador to the US.

http://www.azure.org.il/article.php?id=290

The article is in Azure, a publication of the Shalem Think Tank in Israel, and appeared in 2000. It is exhaustive and definitive.

Only the preview can be read online without a subscription, but it is obtainable online from any good college library, and public libraries can obtain it by Interlibrary Loan. It is a mark of antisemitism that this article is not more readily available.

The article, relying partially on US classified information inexplicably not available for 33 years after the incident, shows that the attack was based on a series of unintentional communication mishaps by both sides occuring in large part due to the 1967 war caused by Arab aggression against Israel. It is 40 pages long, and goes into massive detail. It puts to rest all the antisemitic smears, but just like the lie of Israeli terrorism against the Palestinians (sic) and the racial, religious and economic antisemitic myths that have existed for centuries, it has now acquired its own existence, and its own life on the internet.

LA: George’s anti-Semitic comment has been removed. The best book on the USS Liberty is by Judge A. J. Cristol. The Liberty Incident: The 1967 Attack on the U.S. Navy Spy Ship. I recommend it highly. DS

Little Al on January 2, 2011 at 10:23 am

Correction; the article appeared in 2000 rather than 1990. However, like all anti-semitic myths, it seems like the alleged deliberate attack on the Liberty will earn a place along the blood libel legends, and the Protocols of Zion.

Little Al on January 2, 2011 at 10:25 am

BRA-VOH! A perfect diatribe on the Queen of Crap. How anyone can fall for this phony-baloney hypocrite still amazes me even after 25 years.

Then again, the dopes of this nation gave us Cap’n Zero and his gross wife!

Down with Dirty Beeotch Winfrey! Never forget the time she had on the woman who was torn apart by the Chimpanzee and lifted her veil for all her Oprahniks (what a great name!!!) to ogle! THAT’s COMPASSION? Go suck it, DB Winfrey!

Skunky on January 2, 2011 at 10:45 am

HOprah is nothing more than some self appointed cult leader, oh wait, that is what all cult leaders are. The minions follow her and never challenge all her false assumptions and rhetoric. She never puts anyone on her show who challenges her. Everyone is a yes man or yes woman. She has acolytes like her trashy slutty airhead Lisa Ling.
HOprah has too much influence. That is why she is dangerous. She basically made KING HUSSEIN OBAMA. She handpicked the President for the liberals and they followed. And KING HUSEIN OBAMA has paid her back in return with a Kennedy Center Honor.

CaliforniaScreaming on January 2, 2011 at 11:02 am

OWN is definetely a must-skip network.

Oh, and fisher, neither Debbie nor any of us want HOprah’s money. We just want HOprah to go away.

JeffE on January 2, 2011 at 11:28 am

Correction: definitely

JeffE on January 2, 2011 at 11:29 am

Debbie,
I love your posts. You are sooo friggin’ funny. You’re a smart hottie w/ a man’s sense of humour.

JD on January 2, 2011 at 12:49 pm

Just a tip to “Fisher”: If you switch from a PC to a Mac you will find spell check works for all text input, including these blog comment entries. Then you will no longer appear to be a semi-literate moron, as well as a fool.

vegasrider on January 2, 2011 at 12:53 pm

Fisher, you dimwitted moron, we and Debbie DO NOT want your woman’s (Oprah Winfrey) money, none of us on this website are socialist or communist. And for you to say that where a bunch of “yes-men”, you jackass, I totally take offense at that! Are you trying to say that we can’t use no critical thinking or where all stupid? Most of us on this site use alot of critical thinking, because Debbie to her own credit writes the whole truth and she backs up what she’s saying with “FACTS” whenever she writes any of her articles. And I also have to disappoint your sorry ass, just about all of us use one screen-name (as you can tell by the way we all type, I type a little differently from most of the posters on this site), so NO one person isn’t typing numerous posters at one time, we all have LIVES away from this site and away from our computers.

Another question Fisher, if your an employee of OWN, how much did they pay to come onto this site and shill for your woman Oprah Winfrey? And if your not an employed by OWN, your just another unthinking Oprahite who can’t use no type of critical thinking, only uses emotions & feelings like most left wingers!

“A nation is identified by it’s borders, language & culture!”

Sean R. on January 2, 2011 at 3:27 pm

Oh yeah and people, the Oprahites are no different than Obama followers, Palin followers, Hannity followers, Fox News followers, Buchanan followers, & muslim extremist apologist. Their the reason why this country is in some trouble these days, and they also happen to be the stupidest people in our country today, so try and not debate these morons with the facts, because they can’t use no thinking at all.

“A nation is identified by it’s borders, language & culture!”

Sean R. on January 2, 2011 at 3:40 pm

“Execrable”? When I first saw that word I thought “Excretable”, but that’s not a real word. Excremental, excretable, or however you put it, it certainly is the first thing that comes to mind when it comes to Dr Phil or Oprah.

CornCoLeo on January 2, 2011 at 6:03 pm

Hey,maybe the Muslim Cosby Show Katie Couric thinks should be produced could be done so on OWN….just a thought. Both are really sad people who can’t see the truth for their own egos.

Daphne Y. on January 2, 2011 at 11:04 pm

One
Wussified
Nation

CaliforniaScreaming on January 3, 2011 at 12:06 am

So, I see the Schlusseljugend and loyal minions are still defending a self-proclaimed lawyer who openly calls people bitches, hoes and whores (yet also criticise “rap culture” for these same words).

Debbie Schlussel gives herself more importance that is merited. She only allows strategically taken pictures of her to be circulated. See that woman on the site’s header — just WHO is that? She will threaten anyone who uses any other pictures – and I do not mean offensive pictures because that is low, I mean *any* picture taken in public (i.e. during a speech).

Yeah it’s fine and dandy when she criticised “HOprah” (Again, “ho?” What kind of self-respecting person uses that term so frequently?) yet 90% of DS most loyal readers took extreme offense when she dissed on fat people. What does this say about her readers? lol (Oh and she ain’t size 1 either)

And notice how I never once used ethnicity in my comment. But I am sure, since you guys are Republicans, you will openly use all the racist epithets in your arsenal to “refute” me. El-oh-el. :D

Christian Arab on January 3, 2011 at 2:10 am

    Thank you for your contribution Mustafa. You will be in the same boat as the Chaldeans in the not too distant future, and that is assuming you are in fact not a Muslim troll doing a bad impersonation.

    Worry01 on January 3, 2011 at 8:20 pm

Criticise israel = anti-semite? I don’t think so

You guys sound like a broken record

Semetic = people/religion that originate from the middle east

Yes, that includes the muslims/arabs and all the other people you dimwits love

Debbie schlussel + her followers = blind shepherd that talks crap who is folloed by mentally retarded zionists

fisher on January 3, 2011 at 7:53 am

    Yawn. You should go back to your Wudu. It is something up to your skill level.

    Worry01 on January 3, 2011 at 8:22 pm

Criticise israel = anti-semite? I don’t think so

You guys sound like a broken record

Semetic = people/religion that originate from the middle east

Yes, that includes the muslims/arabs and all the other people you dimwits love

Debbie schlussel + her followers = blind shepherd that talks crap who is folloed by mentally retarded zionists who think they’ve got it all figured out. Why do I refer to you as retarded? Because you beleieve your own lies.

Regarding spelling mistakes, I use a cellphone, so please forgive me for my illiteracy.

fisher on January 3, 2011 at 7:56 am

And by the way, if you’re christian and you believe the crap on this site, I truly feel sorry for you guys

fisher on January 3, 2011 at 7:59 am

I see scum has entered the blog for the New Year. Fisher and C-A are one in the same. Go back and watch your nasty disgusting HOprah and revel in her myopic network.

CaliforniaScreaming on January 3, 2011 at 10:41 am

CS, happy year to you to bro, Fisher has mental deficiencies, you can tell the way this thing types, lots of bad grammer and spelling, I can tell that Fisher probably dropped out of high school.

And as for Christian Arab, hey schmuck, Debbie is giving out the facts of your woman Oprah Winfrey, since you can’t handle the truth and the whole facts, I suggest that you and Fisher go back to Oprah’s website and not use critical thinking. Atleast we on this site use alot of critical thinking and know what’s going on, unlike you CA and Fisher. And I’m going to ask this again, if any of you two morons work for OWN, how much that network paid you guys to come over here and shill for Oprah? And if none of you work for OWN, I suggest that you jackasses are Oprah’s blind, unthinking followers, now the two of you go away, far away!

“A nation is identified by it’s borders, language & culture!”

Sean R. on January 3, 2011 at 11:12 am

    You could say that the likes of ‘fisher’ and (so-called) ‘ChristianArab’ are “OWN’d,” whether they work for that channel or not.

    ConcernedPatriot on January 4, 2011 at 12:06 am

I am a man and Oprah hates men so she has lost me before she began. BET is not on my channel list so I guess her channel won’t be either.

burt on January 3, 2011 at 11:15 am

Burt, I currently have “Verizon Fios” and OWN is channel 161 on my cable. So NO I haven’t seen that network yet, I believe that network used to be one of the Discovery channel networks (I believe it was Discovery Health, they showed the Duggar family’s program on that network a few times a week)? Look, I don’t hate Oprah Winfrey, I think she’s a phony and a fake, unfortunately, my mother watches her show and she’s one of the few people among my relatives who likes Mrs. Winfrey.

“A nation is identified by it’s borders, language & culture!”

Sean R. on January 3, 2011 at 11:36 am

Is it possible that Hoprah is oblivious to the modern connotation of the word “own” (aka “pwn”), or does she just think she has pwnd all of us?

Graty Slapchop on January 3, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Ralph adamo, an italian catholic name I’d say

YOU COMPLETE MORON

fisher on January 3, 2011 at 4:24 pm

    And, fisher, you’re an authority on what? Nothing, you say? Then it’s time to shut up, fisher. You seem to take great pride in being puerile, jejune, unctuous, oleaginous, and saponaceous. You can look those words up later.

    Ralph Adamo on January 4, 2011 at 1:45 am

By the way, the attack on the Liberty was led by a pilot with a history of blunders—good at shooting down enemy aircraft, but a complete craphead at other aspects of leadership.

Occam's Tool on January 3, 2011 at 9:22 pm

The USS Liberty story is mainly kept alive by anti-semitic, and anti-Zionist groups of varying extremism. None of these “investigations” which claim that it was a deliberate attack can explain the most obvious, basic question about the case:

Because the US knew that Israel was in the midst for preparing for the most important war in the short lifetime of the nation, WHY didn’t the US alert Israel that it was sending the USS Liberty into an area that even Egypt stated was prohibited?

Consequently, the sad fact is that the USA put the lives of all the people on board the ship at risk of attack from any number of nations, and thereby shoulders most of the blame for the tragic results. But these are my own views on this subject, and I’ve read much about it from all sides.

You can read a fairly comprehensive and balanced article by Michael Oren, an academic and current Israeli Ambassador to the US. The article appeared in Azure. Here’s a link to it:
http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/History/liberty1.html

Ralph Adamo on January 3, 2011 at 2:27 am

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