December 27, 2007, - 8:26 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
Many of you will sadly be rooting for him, this weekend, against the Giants. And Esquire Magazine nominated him as “Sexiest Woman Alive 2007.” But they got it only half right. There is nothing sexy about BabyDaddy Tom Brady . . . and nothing masculine.
Sorry, but it’s not masculine to abandon the woman who is about to have your child and, instead gallivant around town with the next supermodel in your conquest chain. And there’s nothing masculine about skipping the birth of your kid because you are too busy doing other things–training camp with meaningless exhibition games you barely play in and posing for important Stetson cologne ads that are far more pressing. (Not only does he date supermodels, now he wants to be one.) Nothing sexy about it. It’s sleazy, actually.
Yes, Brady would have been docked some pay for leaving camp to see his kid being born–but it would be a drop in the bucket for this playboy multi-millionaire. Many American dads who would love to be there for their kids’ births can’t because they actually do need the money and are scraping to survive. But this guy, who has it all, can’t budge to do the decent thing.
Sure, Tom Brady isn’t as bad as, say, Travis Henry–who fathered 9 kids s with as many different women in at least six states and owes child support for many of them. But Tom Brady’s behavior is not exactly sterling. And the message he sends to the thousands of young boys out there who idolize him isn’t good either: Have nothing to do with the mother of your kid, don’t attend to the birth, and get on with the next belt-notch . . . and ponder a million dollar underwear modeling opportunity. That’s far more important. Collecting the next female trophy is a priority.
Sadly, on list after list, Tom Brady gets away with this behavior, with Athlete of the Year accolade upon accolade. And nary a mention of his neglectful BabyDaddy status. What you do on the field doesn’t mean you’re a great human being. There are so many examples of that. And Brady is just the latest.
Sadly, though, he’s the one who is most admired and most gets away with this shenanigans. The guy is still considered wholesome Disneyland kind of material, when he is anything but. He didn’t do the right thing, the honorable thing. And then he shoved it in everyone’s face with his swinging bachelor activities.
And he’s just added another very-likely-to-be-dysfunctional kid to the world. It’s not like he’s your average working stiff who might not be able to be around. He’s a multi-millionaire with the world at his feet.
And this weekend, while everyone gushes over this Emperor in Helmet and Pads and his Patriot team’s almost perfect record, remember this: Whether or not the Patriots beat the Giants and maintain a perfect season, Tom Brady’s season has a giant blemish off the field. And he did suffer a defeat. At his own hands. Sadly, that defeat, includes a kid who is the real loser in this “game.”
Tom Brady may win yet another in his string of Superbowl victories. He may get to mug for the camera and brag that his next step is “I’m going to Disneyland.” But will he take the kid he doesn’t even know with him? Don’t count on that. New supermodels, partying, and posing for cheesy ad campaigns are more his thing. Father of the Year material, this guy.
And that’s why DebbieSchlussel.com picks sperm donor/absentee father Tom Brady as its Woman of the Year. He may have all the right chromosomes and physical equipment, but a man he definitely isn’t. He simply doesn’t have the character.
Given that, all I can guess about his cologne, Stetson, is that it matches his own malodor. Like him, it stinks.
On a related note, in doing a radio interview this week, on my choice for Woman of the Year (sorry, I don’t do the “Person” of the Year thing), one radio personality mentioned that Brady can’t be all that bad because he’s smart–after all, he graduated from my alma mater, The University of Michigan . . . with a Bachelor in Organizational Studies. Well, he could have graduated Phi Beta Kappa from Harvard, and he’s still a lowlife, wearing the mask of an angel.
But, as a Michigan grad, I’m in the know on this one. At Michigan, there are real students, and then there are those who get Bachelor of General Studies and Bachelor of Organizational Studies Degrees. These are known as the airhead jock degrees. They get to take courses in how to build a toothpick sculpture. Well, not really. I made that one up. But it’s pretty close. Even non-Einstein former Michigan gridiron star Jim Harbaugh dissed these degrees as meaningless, in a recent, highly controversial statement. It’s part of the reason he didn’t get the Michigan head coaching job when Lloyd Carr vacated.
Tags: athlete, emperor, Harvard, Jim Harbaugh, Lloyd Carr, Michigan, New England Patriots, physical equipment, The Giants, The University of Michigan, Tom Brady, Tom Brady By Debbie Schlussel Many, Travis Henry, USD