December 27, 2007, - 8:26 pm

Woman of the Year: Tom Brady

By Debbie Schlussel
Many of you will sadly be rooting for him, this weekend, against the Giants. And Esquire Magazine nominated him as “Sexiest Woman Alive 2007.” But they got it only half right. There is nothing sexy about BabyDaddy Tom Brady . . . and nothing masculine.
Sorry, but it’s not masculine to abandon the woman who is about to have your child and, instead gallivant around town with the next supermodel in your conquest chain. And there’s nothing masculine about skipping the birth of your kid because you are too busy doing other things–training camp with meaningless exhibition games you barely play in and posing for important Stetson cologne ads that are far more pressing. (Not only does he date supermodels, now he wants to be one.) Nothing sexy about it. It’s sleazy, actually.

tombrady.jpg

Woman of the Year, Tom Brady:

Shallowest Puddle on the New England Sidewalk

Yes, Brady would have been docked some pay for leaving camp to see his kid being born–but it would be a drop in the bucket for this playboy multi-millionaire. Many American dads who would love to be there for their kids’ births can’t because they actually do need the money and are scraping to survive. But this guy, who has it all, can’t budge to do the decent thing.
Sure, Tom Brady isn’t as bad as, say, Travis Henry–who fathered 9 kids s with as many different women in at least six states and owes child support for many of them. But Tom Brady’s behavior is not exactly sterling. And the message he sends to the thousands of young boys out there who idolize him isn’t good either: Have nothing to do with the mother of your kid, don’t attend to the birth, and get on with the next belt-notch . . . and ponder a million dollar underwear modeling opportunity. That’s far more important. Collecting the next female trophy is a priority.
Sadly, on list after list, Tom Brady gets away with this behavior, with Athlete of the Year accolade upon accolade. And nary a mention of his neglectful BabyDaddy status. What you do on the field doesn’t mean you’re a great human being. There are so many examples of that. And Brady is just the latest.
Sadly, though, he’s the one who is most admired and most gets away with this shenanigans. The guy is still considered wholesome Disneyland kind of material, when he is anything but. He didn’t do the right thing, the honorable thing. And then he shoved it in everyone’s face with his swinging bachelor activities.
And he’s just added another very-likely-to-be-dysfunctional kid to the world. It’s not like he’s your average working stiff who might not be able to be around. He’s a multi-millionaire with the world at his feet.
And this weekend, while everyone gushes over this Emperor in Helmet and Pads and his Patriot team’s almost perfect record, remember this: Whether or not the Patriots beat the Giants and maintain a perfect season, Tom Brady’s season has a giant blemish off the field. And he did suffer a defeat. At his own hands. Sadly, that defeat, includes a kid who is the real loser in this “game.”
Tom Brady may win yet another in his string of Superbowl victories. He may get to mug for the camera and brag that his next step is “I’m going to Disneyland.” But will he take the kid he doesn’t even know with him? Don’t count on that. New supermodels, partying, and posing for cheesy ad campaigns are more his thing. Father of the Year material, this guy.
And that’s why DebbieSchlussel.com picks sperm donor/absentee father Tom Brady as its Woman of the Year. He may have all the right chromosomes and physical equipment, but a man he definitely isn’t. He simply doesn’t have the character.
Given that, all I can guess about his cologne, Stetson, is that it matches his own malodor. Like him, it stinks.
***
On a related note, in doing a radio interview this week, on my choice for Woman of the Year (sorry, I don’t do the “Person” of the Year thing), one radio personality mentioned that Brady can’t be all that bad because he’s smart–after all, he graduated from my alma mater, The University of Michigan . . . with a Bachelor in Organizational Studies. Well, he could have graduated Phi Beta Kappa from Harvard, and he’s still a lowlife, wearing the mask of an angel.
But, as a Michigan grad, I’m in the know on this one. At Michigan, there are real students, and then there are those who get Bachelor of General Studies and Bachelor of Organizational Studies Degrees. These are known as the airhead jock degrees. They get to take courses in how to build a toothpick sculpture. Well, not really. I made that one up. But it’s pretty close. Even non-Einstein former Michigan gridiron star Jim Harbaugh dissed these degrees as meaningless, in a recent, highly controversial statement. It’s part of the reason he didn’t get the Michigan head coaching job when Lloyd Carr vacated.

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18 Responses

Where are the real sportswriters to vote this the best place-kick of the season?

gringoman on December 27, 2007 at 8:56 pm

OK, I found something I can agree with you on. Tom Brady is a tool.

lawdood on December 27, 2007 at 9:07 pm

Sissy-boy Tom; T.B. is a “tool,” indeed, and would be leading an 8-and-7 team right now were it not for Randy Moss, who apparently can catch pretty much anything thrown his way.
Debbie, even worse (if possible): “Many American dads who would love to be there for their kids’ births can’t because they actually do need the money and are scraping to survive.”
How about all the Dads, and Dads-to-be in our armed services now serving in Iraq and Afghanistan, or anywhere else overseas, who will miss the birth of one (or more) of their children while defending this nation from Islamist scum, all so little TommyGirl can have his fun, avoid the birth of his own child like the plague, and get busy impregnating various other twits who want his baby, whether child support is forthcoming or not?
Pathetic, TommyGirl, pathetic! Enjoy the narcisistic hedonism while you can, TommyGirl — it’ll all be over very soon — and, I hate to tell you, that day’s coming much sooner than you think.

theendisnear on December 27, 2007 at 10:14 pm

No way am I rooting for the New England Cheaters.

Mark L. Jackson on December 27, 2007 at 10:52 pm

Good grief…as a fan of football (go ravens..even if they lost to miami) I never expected this AT ALL. I’m sitting here thinking Tom Brady was a great role model, great quarterback, instant hall of famer, etc etc etc.
But now I read this and it’s got me split on the patriots winning the game saturday and winning the super bowl. Too me their like the chicago bulls (90′s) of the NFL, and brady is like their jordan.
But after reading what debbie said…I doubt anyone would wanna BE LIKE TOM.

Squirrel3D on December 28, 2007 at 12:22 am

Why call it the “Woman of the Year Award”? Is it a womanly trait to abandon one’s child? I think in an attempt to call him a pussy boy, you’ve insulted women everywhere! How about “Scumsucker of the Year Award” instead?

AmericanJewess on December 28, 2007 at 5:26 am

nobody perfect in this world, the mother bridget is known to be a little kooky, and i think she knew he didnt want to settle down, he is today version of broadway joe and the poon thang is coming out of the woodworks for him , maybe if it dried up he settle down and get married but that broad is a kook. oh debbie you need to write an article on matt millen and the lions player who do the same thing and yes we all forget any lions player news ends up on the who give a rats ass page of the paper. maybe if they drafted great players and traded for great players they would been writen up in the blog, keep up the great works debbie and have a happy new year and try to get back on the stern show you on there is so educational to his fans.

PNAMARBLE on December 28, 2007 at 8:07 am

Give me a break! There is not a single woman on this blog who would not go out with Brady if he called them tonight. He got involved with an actress and their morals are not exactly sterling the last I checked. Brady at press conferences is a perfect gentleman unlike the steroid injecting morons who infest much of sports.

Ripper on December 28, 2007 at 8:12 am

In this day and age there is no such thing as “accidental” pregnancies. She wanted a kid and a meal ticket. She got it.
“Of course I take birth control pills, silly. Do it again, lover. Do it again.”
Brady is only guilty of believing a tramp out for a buck and not wearing a condom. I wouldn’t take care of “our” kid either if I felt she did it deliberately. You can say he’s a moron, like the other qb on the prowl, Lienart at Phoenix, but nothing more.
She got exactly what she wanted. Money for life for just laying around and spreading her legs. I’ve had a ton of sex with women on the pill and I’d never have willingly paid for a kid either. Period. End of story.

Duke on December 28, 2007 at 10:01 am

I have to admit I was pretty much falling for all the hype about Brady–he is almost a folk legend rock star now–who has done more as QB, especially from such lower expectations from his college days? You have to give him his due for Brady’s performances on the field which is where many of us draw the line as to who we root for.
Enter DS with this story and I have to admit–I am rethinking my going gaga over Brady as a fan. I don’t judge the effect his super-tramp behavior on his QB accomplishments will be as seriously damaged as Barry Bonds’ and others who cheated in their sports using banned steroids. Still, the “good guy” factor which I used to think Brady oozed has been seriously damaged–perhaps beyond repair.

BB on December 28, 2007 at 10:57 am

Tom’s irresponsibility is nothing, compared to Evander Holyfield,Sean Kemp,the late Derrick Thomas( Seven illegitemates,by FIVE different women), and so many others,who are far worse.

OldSchoolW on December 28, 2007 at 12:04 pm

On a positive note, I nominate Brett Favre as the anti-Brady candidate for Man of the Year. He’s made mistakes but at least he has manned up to his responsiblities and stood beside his wife during her cancer ordeal. Read her book. I would love to see a superbowl rematch between these two. Even if the Packers lost they would be a come from behind winner because no one thought they’d have any season at all.

poligirl on December 28, 2007 at 12:08 pm

theendisnear and others..
Interesting thread. Your take on the Pats being 8-7 but for Moss is correct.
The best way to judge a QB is to see how he would do with a mediocre O-line and receivers. Here, though, nothing succeeds like success.
Best outcome would be for Pats to go 16-0 and then die immediately in the playoffs.

Red Ryder on December 28, 2007 at 3:30 pm

Thanks again, DS! You echo my thoughts in regard to this man. What a poor example he is to the thousands of young fans – “I want to be just like Tom Brady when I grow up” – RIGHT!
He may play a good game of football, but he has failed miserably at the game of life – and that is the one that matters!

CapeConservative on December 28, 2007 at 3:36 pm

Good to post this Debbie. I am surprised that this has not received more attention. I guess that this type of practice is becoming more and more acceptable. The rate of children born out of wedlock has long since been overwhelming for black players. I guess this same pattern is now occuring among white players.
Brady’s on the field performance has been nothing short of spectacular. He is showing that he is a better Q/B than Peyton Manning when he finally got some great receivers such as Moss, Stallworth and Welker.

GFB on December 28, 2007 at 5:17 pm

Who’s the tool?
First of all, she left him.
Second of all Tom Brady IS a real talent, the best QB in the NFL, no hands down. Whining and crying from adults, how pathetic. Oh and I’m sure Peyton Manning whoring himself far worse is okay though, after all he’s not kicking the butt f every other QB in history.
Third, cheaters? Sure, and the NY Jets admitted they film too, in fact ALL teams do it. The only difference is where they were filming from.
Jealousy is a terrible thing.

SultericDrums on December 28, 2007 at 9:21 pm

LOL- The 8-7 without Moss people have me laughing. Brady has 3 SB rings and MVP honors without Moss. And who can name more than one WR from those teams? He is a great QB and Moss has helped his numbers this year but, this also works in reverse. Brady has helped Moss achieve record breaking status. Something he’d never attain with any other team, except maybe the Colts. 8-7 without Moss? Ppffft, I say. They’ve won the SB with less. It’s a TEAM game folks. And as far as a role model, kids look up to Brady for one thing, his excellence on the playing field. No worries. Panties in a bunch for nothing.

jimbabwe on December 30, 2007 at 11:45 am

Besides being a Giants fan, I was really hoping the Cheat-riots would lose. It even seems a little suspicious to me how they came back.

hairymon on December 31, 2007 at 2:18 pm

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