February 26, 2008, - 3:36 pm

S & M Desperation Pop: Janet Jackson Tries Waaaay Too Hard to Regain Relevance

By Debbie Schlussel
The era of the Jacksons is long over. While I’m talking about Michael, Janet, Germaine (his son, the classically-named, Jermajesty), LaToya, etc., I wish that also included Jesse, Jesse Jr., and Andrew. Sadly, it does not. The evidence that the Jacksons are out: Michael’s innovative “Thriller” just celebrated its 25th anniversary, and no-one noticed.
But back to Janet Jackson. She was already completely irrelevant before she and Justin Timberlake cooked up that dumb stunt to show her pierced nipple on national television at the Superbowl. Before and since, her recent albums were flops, despite heavy promotion on Oprah. No-one cares about her anymore.
And Jackson–Ms. Jackson, if you’re nasty–can’t handle it. So, she’s trying to up the S&M factor on her latest destined-to-flop album, “Discipline.” The lyrics span the gamut from bad lines suited to the script of a porno flick to flat-out cheese you could imagine some ’80s video star with too much gel singing:

janetjackson.jpg

Latest Photo of Janet, er . . . Ms. Jackson, Since I’m Nasty

“Tie me to something/Take off all my clothes,” Jackson sings on the title track of Discipline, her 10th studio album, out today. “Blindfold me, daddy. . . I’ve been very bad/Make me cry.” On the first single, Feedback, she croons, “Feed my fetish. . . Strum me like a guitar/Blow out my amplifier.”

Nice try at getting noticed, Janet. But the only way you could get noticed–at the Superbowl–didn’t exactly revive an aging plastic surgery victim’s career. So she’s trying to manufacture some controversy:

Some people might say, “Discipline–is that about S&M?” If that’s where their imagination takes them, that’s what it is.

Um, actually no people–other than the five or six who buy it will ask that? No-one cares.
Good-bye, Ms. Jackson. You’re nasty. But not relevant. Or interesting in any way. Your best days were as Willis’ girlfriend on “Diff’rent Strokes” and as Jimmie Walker’s sis on “Good Times.” Dyno-miiite. Been downhill evah since.

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4 Responses

Actually Debs, she was not JJ’s little sister, but Walona Woods adopted Daughter, JJ’s neighbor.
TV Land – Making the world a better place – One boob tube at a time…

tita2juju on February 27, 2008 at 12:58 am

Kids don’t usually think that there Mom’s older menopausal dirty talking easy, friend who’s a little too old to be in the club as hip or hot.
They generally think of as sad or scarey or an unbragged about booty call(except in the army) but not something to emulate.

gordito on February 27, 2008 at 5:48 am

I never liked her music. And well…..your right. She’s done. Stick a fork in her. The jacksons are so 1990′s.

Squirrel3D on February 27, 2008 at 2:39 pm

THE LOW LIFE BITCH WHO WROTE THIS SMP UR JUST PISSED OFF CUZ U PROB STILL LIVE IN YOUR MOTHER’S BASEMENT AND HAVE NO FUCKIN LIFE GET A REAL FUCKIN JOB JANET IS UNTOUCHABLE SHE IS A LEGEND SHE IS QUEEN OF MUSIC GET UR EARS CHECKED HONEY CAUSE JANET’S MUSIC IS ALWAYS IN STYLE YOU PROB LISTEN TO SOME GAY ASS SHIT. ALSO JANET IS AGELESS MAYBE UR JUST REFELCTIN UR PROBLEMS ON OTHER PPL HONEY. BITCH THE SUPERBOWL INCIDENT WAS LONG AGO LET IT GO ANYWAYS IT WAS ANY ACCIDENT I MEAN SHE IS A SEX SYMBOL BUT JANET WOULD NEVER STOOP TO THAT LEVEL SHE IS WAY TO GOOD AND CLASSY FOR THAT AND HONEY SHE IS ALWAYS RELEVANT BEFORE AND AFTER SHES HIT MAYBE YOUR JUST TOO OLD TO UNDERSTAND.SHES BEEN KNOWN AS 2ND MOST SUCCESSFUL FEMALE ARTIST AND 6TH MOST SUCCESSFUL ARTIST.TALK ABOUT BEING NOTICABLE THIS PAGE IS BEARLY NOTICED JANET IS PLENTY NOTICED IN FACT OVER NOTICED SHE HAS AN INFINITE AMOUNT OF FANS SHES AN ICON THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT WOULD DIE FOR HER

JANETLOVERx3 on July 14, 2010 at 12:40 am

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