February 26, 2008, - 3:36 pm
By Debbie Schlussel
The era of the Jacksons is long over. While I’m talking about Michael, Janet, Germaine (his son, the classically-named, Jermajesty), LaToya, etc., I wish that also included Jesse, Jesse Jr., and Andrew. Sadly, it does not. The evidence that the Jacksons are out: Michael’s innovative “Thriller” just celebrated its 25th anniversary, and no-one noticed.
But back to Janet Jackson. She was already completely irrelevant before she and Justin Timberlake cooked up that dumb stunt to show her pierced nipple on national television at the Superbowl. Before and since, her recent albums were flops, despite heavy promotion on Oprah. No-one cares about her anymore.
And Jackson–Ms. Jackson, if you’re nasty–can’t handle it. So, she’s trying to up the S&M factor on her latest destined-to-flop album, “Discipline.” The lyrics span the gamut from bad lines suited to the script of a porno flick to flat-out cheese you could imagine some ’80s video star with too much gel singing:
“Tie me to something/Take off all my clothes,” Jackson sings on the title track of Discipline, her 10th studio album, out today. “Blindfold me, daddy. . . I’ve been very bad/Make me cry.” On the first single, Feedback, she croons, “Feed my fetish. . . Strum me like a guitar/Blow out my amplifier.”
Nice try at getting noticed, Janet. But the only way you could get noticed–at the Superbowl–didn’t exactly revive an aging plastic surgery victim’s career. So she’s trying to manufacture some controversy:
Some people might say, “Discipline–is that about S&M?” If that’s where their imagination takes them, that’s what it is.
Um, actually no people–other than the five or six who buy it will ask that? No-one cares.
Good-bye, Ms. Jackson. You’re nasty. But not relevant. Or interesting in any way. Your best days were as Willis’ girlfriend on “Diff’rent Strokes” and as Jimmie Walker’s sis on “Good Times.” Dyno-miiite. Been downhill evah since.
Tags: Andrew, Debbie Schlussel, Discipline, Feedback, Good Times, Janet Jackson, Janet Jackson Tries Waaaay Too, Jesse Jr., Jimmie Walker, Justin Timberlake, plastic surgery, Thriller