May 29, 2011, - 5:18 pm

Wknd Box Office 2: Incendies, The Double Hour, Everything Must Go, Hesher

By Debbie Schlussel

I posted my reviews of “The Hangover Part II” and “Kung Fu Panda” on Thursday.  But there are four other movies I didn’t get to, one of which I liked a lot, and two I hated intensely.

*  “Incendies“:  Rarely have I been so angry walking out of a movie because it is such a lie.  This movie is a complete fraud, written by a pan-Muslim Lebanese Arab PLO-ass-kisser (Wajdi Mouawad) and designed to propagandize the West with a fiction about what really happened in Lebanon in the last several decades.  In this movie, there are no Islamic terrorists in Lebanon, only Christian ones; no Islamic homicide bombers, just Christians who do that; no Muslim honor killers, just Christian ones.  The Muslims in this movie are universally and without exception innocent, kind, downtrodden, the underdogs, and they give you tea and help you find your long lost relatives.  The Christians are the Islamic terrorists who wear masks and shoot up buses full of people.  There is no Hezbollah or Amal, even though predecessors to both of these Shi’ite terrorist groups, if not the groups themselves, existed at the time this movie takes place.  It’s simply absurd and would be hilarious, if it wasn’t so effective at propagandizing the mindless American movie critics (who are raving about this fraud of a movie) and artsy fartsy crowd, who are woefully ignorant about real contemporary Lebanese history.  In this film, there is no P.L.O., which, in real life, invaded Lebanon and raped, tortured, and killed both Christans and Muslims, as I’ve documented on this site many times.  Google the Damour Massacre.  Yup, you gotta learn the real history on your own because the movies lie.

The story:  a twin 20-something boy and girl are read the will of their single mother, an Arab woman in Montreal, who has just died.  The will instructs them to go back to Lebanon to meet their brother and their father, both of whom they never knew they had.  The girl goes back and is treated horribly by Christians all over Lebanon, but the Muslims are so kind.  Her brother, who wants nothing to do with the search, eventually goes to Lebanon to get his sister to return to Canada, and he, too, gets sucked into the quest.

We learn that their mother was a Christian woman pregnant with her Palestinian Muslim boyfriend’s baby.  Of course, they never tell us he’s Palestinian, but he lives in the refugee camps, which–memo to the many ignorant Americans watching this movie–means that’s what he is.  The Muslim is shot in an honor killing by the woman’s brothers, and they are about to shoot her, but her aunt or mother or grandmother or something (I forget which and don’t care) rescues her, delivers the baby, and after putting an identifying tattoo on its heel, makes the woman give the baby up for adoption.  Thereafter, the woman becomes a revolutionary in college, siding with Islamic terrorists against her fellow Christians.  Of course, we aren’t told they are Muslim or terrorists.  The only religion specifically identified, and constantly portrayed as terrorists are “right wing Christians.”

After this, the woman tries to find her baby and finds herself on a bus full of Muslims who are shot up by “right wing Christian terrorists.”  The Christian “terrorists” are wearing green masks and Arabic headbands, which in real life are worn by Islamic terrorists, like HAMAS and Hezbollah, not Christian ones.  Even more ridiculous, the “Christian terrorists” wear t-shirts depicting their leader, who is supposed to resemble the real-life Christian leader Bashir Gemayel, assassinated by Muslims at the behest of Syria.  What terrorists wear t-shirts of their leader?  It’s absurd.

The woman is spared murder on the bus because she is Christian and is horrified by what she sees, so she approaches the Muslims (who, again, are never identified as Muslim, but they wear keffiyehs and they are fighting the Christians based on religion, so we know who they are supposed to be).  The woman joins the Muslims and helps them in their terrorist attacks, including assassinating the Christian leader, the Gemayel-esque man.  She is sent to a prison in South Lebanon, where she is repeatedly raped and tortured by–you guessed it!–the Christians.  Muslims would never ever do such a thing, right?  From the rape at the hands of the interrogator, Abu Tarek, she becomes pregnant and gives birth to twins, the twins who are now looking for their long-lost half-brother and their father.

The ending is messed up, but something I predicted about half-way through.  And, frankly, it’s just more fictional propaganda designed to make you feel for the nice, oppressed Muslims in Lebanon versus the “evil” Christians.  How sad that there aren’t any movies telling it the other way around.  But, then, truth just isn’t something that Hollywood–our version or the imitations around the world–are interested in when the villains are actually the Muslims and their innocent victims are Christian.

In French with English subtitles, but would have been just easily translated using deceptive Koranic verses and Muslim Hadith.

FOUR ARAFATS PLUS A NASRALLAH PLUS A BIN LADEN
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Watch the trailer . . .

*  “The Double Hour [La Doppia Ora]“:  This was a fantastic thriller with so many twists.  I figured out one of them, but not the rest.  It’s that good.  And it moves pretty quickly along. If you like a great psychological thriller, this is it, although the white subtitles were sometimes hard to read on light backgrounds (the movie is in Italian with English subtitles).

Sonia (Ksenia Rappoport), a Slovenian immigrant and maid at a fancy hotel in Turin, Italy, meets a security guard/former cop, Guido (Filippo Timi) at a speed dating event.  Soon, they are dating, and he takes her to the giant mansion he guards.  The owner is out of town, and he turns off the security system, so they can go into the woods for a walk.  But they are blindsided by a group of robbers who tie them up.  They shoot the security guard boyfriend, killing him, and a bullet just grazes her.  She survives.

I can’t tell you anymore because it would give away the movie, but as in all great psychological thrillers, NOTHING is as it seems.  I loved this, except for the ending, which was not justice served.  It was riveting, and kept you thinking, guessing, and enjoying.  It’s a light, fun, enjoyable movie that is definitely escapist stuff.

FOUR REAGANS
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Watch the trailer . . .

*  “Hesher“:  I absolutely hated this.  If an intellectually-challenged frat boy on crack was challenged to make a movie, this is the crap he’d produce.  Absolute garbage.  Filthy, vulgar, violent, stupid, slow, and boring beyond belief.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays a homeless hippie hoodlum in the ’70s or early ’80s who terrorizes an eleven-year-old kid and soon moves into the home of the kid’s father and grandmother.  The father (Rainn Wilson) is a loser who grows a beard and lives on the couch after his wife, the kid’s mother, died just a few months earlier.  The kid also has a crush on the supermarket clerk (Natalie Portman), who saves him from the son of a used car dealer, who is also terrorizing him.  The kid keeps trying to get his mother’s crashed up car back from the used car dealership.

The movie was pointless, absolute dreck-beyond-belief, and a complete waste of time.  Four-letter words populate most of the dialogue, and it’s just simply disgusting–jokes about an old grandmother being raped, a kid being forced to eat a urinal cake, and a nose being cut off.  This is entertainment?  Only if you need to be locked up, which should be the consequence for everyone who made and/or starred in this utter piece of dung.  Did the soldiers–the fallen heroes–we honor tomorrow really make the ultimate sacrifice so movies like this could be made?  Oy.

FOUR MARXES PLUS A BIN LADEN
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Watch the trailer . . .

*  “Everything Must Go“:  Will Ferrell takes a serious role as a vice president of sales who loses his job because of his alcoholism and the accusations of sexual harrassment of an underling.  When he gets home, his front lawn is filled with his stuff, and his wife has locked him out of the house.  For the rest of the movie, Ferrell is living on his front lawn struggling to survive and hold a yard sale, while he drinks beer.  Oh, and his wife has frozen his bank account and canceled his credit cards, so he has no money and no way to get around or survive.  In the meantime, he meets a boy whose mother is a nurse for a dying resident of the neighborhood.  He befriends the boy and teaches him how to sell things and become a sales genius.  Ferrell is also contemplating what to do with the rest of his life and befriends the pregnant young new neighbor across the street.

This movie was somewhat slow and depressing, but not all that bad.  I wouldn’t pay $10 or even $5 to see it, though.  But it had its moments, even if it seemed somewhat anti-corporate and anti-police at times.

ZERO REAGANS OR MARXES – A WASH
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Watch the trailer . . .

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23 Responses

Is there anything we, the American people, do collectively to encourage Natalie Portman to take a couple of decades off from acting to raise the brat that she is having out of wedlock so that Hollywood can kindly cease casting the annoying skeeze in two out of every three movies they release these days? I’m sick of seeing her. I’m sick of films looking like they could have promise instead going on my “will not watch” list because I find her name in the lineup (Thor, I’m looking at you here). If there is anybody who can convince her to go away for a while, I’d be thrilled. Oh, and if that individual could have Anne Hathaway and her penchant for filmed nudity follow suit in disappearing from public life, I would be eternally grateful.

Also please keep cast members from The Office at Dunder Mifflin, instead of in stupid frat-boy flicks.

DS, thanks for the heads up on that Italian movie. Never would have known of it otherwise.

Brian R. on May 29, 2011 at 5:42 pm

    Natalie Portman must be in desperate need of paychecks to star in movies no one watches.

    Her presence isn’t enough to redeem them.

    NormanF on May 29, 2011 at 8:29 pm

This is what happens when Hollywood only hires mushpucha (relatives) and Harvard types, not talented types.

I miss the screenwriters of yesteryear who experienced and understood life, and thus could write a good movie.

Jonathan Grant on May 29, 2011 at 6:50 pm

Israel’s Culture Minister Limor Livnat walked out of the screening of Shlomi Elkabetz’s “Testimony” because it was Bin Laden quality pro-Palestinian propaganda.

She didn’t sit through it and I thought it was the right move. Israel’s version of Hollywood is as leftist as America’s.

Now if only Israel would stop financing and promoting such movies, the country would be better off. You don’t need to come across looking a certain way abroad.

No matter how much the filmmakers think its “cool.”

NormanF on May 29, 2011 at 8:03 pm

The only thing missing from “Hesher” was the explicit sex and the NC-17 rating – which this movie deserved.

NormanF on May 29, 2011 at 8:07 pm

Again my opinion of hollywierd is reinforced.

samurai on May 29, 2011 at 8:27 pm

“Incendies” – it may be a Canadian film, but I’ll be damned if I would even contemplate on debating whether or not I should think to consider deciding whether or not I’d be crazy or sane enough to se or not see it. Whew.

“Hesher” – what? I’d rather watch pr0n.

That Italian movie – sounds good but “fuhgeddaboutit”: it won’t be playing in my neck of wood anytime soon.

“Everything Must Go” – I prefer funny Ferrell over depressing Ferrell. He needs a better movie. Better yet, he sould concentrate on his FuunyOrDie website. It rocks me stupid.

So, for the rest… TORRENT!

Plus I’m reloading my computer – I do have a life, too.

The Reverend Jacques on May 29, 2011 at 11:23 pm

I saw Incendies 2 or 3 months back. Too bad all the bad stuff happened to the young lady, but the pro- Islamo BS was obvious all the way through and I wound up not feeling sympathetic to her. I was wondering what kind of agenda-driven sicko would write that plot.

Not Ovenready on May 29, 2011 at 11:54 pm

Incendies is obviously another in a long line Muslim financed movies, The Kingdom, Sex and the City 2, etc.
It’s amazing what you can do when you hundreds of billions of dollars to blow.

Everything that liberals hate about Christians the Muslims have just as much and more to be hated for.
So why in world to liberals not attack Muslims like they do Christians?
It just makes no sense what so ever, but when did liberalism ever make sense?

Steve on May 30, 2011 at 9:43 am

    Liberalism = cowardice and hypocrisy. Gone are the radicals of old who’d risk their lives for civil rights. We have the spoiled twits who believe whatever propaganda is handed to them. Logic, reason…who needs them? Follow the party line, do what the cool kids are doing…challenge the lies and you might be called what every liberal fears to be called by their peers…”racist”.

    All you have to do is study history to learn that Islam has been at war with christianity, judaism and the west (and the east, too,) since the religion began.

    But libbies shun history they don’t like. They are revisionists, intellectual frauds and propagandists.

    The Left Gets an "F" on May 30, 2011 at 11:04 am

      Not only that . . . the kool-aid drinking lefties who follow the party line insist with a straight face that THEY are the ones with “logic” and “reason.” Yeah, right.

      ConcernedPatriot on May 30, 2011 at 6:37 pm

“Incendies” is what you have filthy rich Muslims in the Mideast funding and supporting movies to show the West how wonderful and peaceful Islam and its followers are. Great BS talk, money walk away with rich Muslims laughing all the way to the bank.

Rob on May 30, 2011 at 10:24 am

Thanks for the Incendies review Debbie. This is where as they so often do, media, leftwing propaganda and lib politics meet. This is why you must continue tdoing the movie reviews.

cactusjacki on May 30, 2011 at 10:56 am

Will Ferrell needs to stop making movies and start selling vacuum cleaners, no one will ever miss him.

Anthony on May 30, 2011 at 11:58 am

Heroes are defined by the depravity of those they fight.

Our heroes are fighting the completely depraved.

Sharia Delenda Est.

Occam's Tool on May 30, 2011 at 3:40 pm

Seriously you shouldnt review movies ms Schlussel. Your hatred of people of muslim faith and people who dont believe in what you believe clouds your every written word. Its kinda sad how you yourself write propaganda that supports your beliefs. Now im sure your followers will follow up this post with something in the style of: youre a muslim, youre a terrorist,supporter etc. But as long as there are people that support hatred towards other people there will be no peace there will be no tranquility, there is just going to be hatred. And yes i realise that radicalist and terrorist and other people who spout hatred in their sayings, but is it worth it to do the same. The hatred will consume you one day and then you will realise that. The world is a very small little rock in the infinite space for us to slowly destroy our future. We are all the same by anathomy, its the actions we do that define us.

Tristan on May 30, 2011 at 4:42 pm

Right back @ Tristan…

” Now im sure your followers will follow up this post with something in the style of: youre a muslim, youre a terrorist,supporter etc. But as long as there are people that support hatred towards other people there will be no peace there will be no tranquility, there is just going to be hatred.”

I used to believe in a “Star Trek” future where everyone would set aside differences to explore new worlds, to seek new civilizations and to boldly go where no man has gone before – especially when it comes to females from other outworldly species.

The reality is that we are still a bunch of uncouth apes who would kill for some imaginary god led by a prophet (or prophets) who may or may not have existed.

And while I commend you for posting your views on this forum, you’ll have to realise that those who regularly post have a) either served in the armed forces; and/or b) had personally experienced or had relatives experiences the horrors of racially/religiously motivated wars.

I fall in both categories. I’m pretty damn opionated. Sometimes, in order to defeat evil or conquer demons you have to be just as evil towards them as they have been towards you, sometimes in a pre-emptive fashion.

All this coming from an agnostic, recovering addict.

As long as we are still superstitious apes (just look around you), there will always be inequity. The sick irony is that all our combined faults have caused this species to progress.

If you can say the same thing on all the other forums and come away unscathed, all the power to you and everything else. Just don’t forget your armour.

And load up on some di-lithium crystals for a good, quick getaway.

The Reverend Jacques on May 30, 2011 at 10:40 pm

I respect your opinion Reverend Jacques, yet as a man who seen what the wars in yugoslavia and the hatred of religions did to its people and how it scarred us/them, i still think that maybe one day we might get along if all religions would respect each others boundaries. I also read the quoran and bible both so i know that the terrorists teach some kind of weird version of it. I know people of all religions and all of them are good human beings the difference is just in what they believe, maybe i have the luck of living in a country which has a few religions and even with some nationalism people get along here ok. I saw ms Schlussel having a general disliking or hatred of muslim people in general and that is the only thing that bothers me. Judge the person by his actions and not by his faith or beliefs.

Tristan on May 31, 2011 at 4:24 am

We have not been to see a movie in many years (probably 10 or more ) as we do not want to be offended by bad language, hate America, whites are bad, Muslims are good and so on.

I say boycott the movies. Do not go. You go to a movie to be entertained and feel good after the movie is over. NOT ANYMORE.

Fred on May 31, 2011 at 2:55 pm

You has added a +Hitler to your review of Incendies. Nazi Leftism at it’s best no doubt.

Daniel Middleman on June 3, 2011 at 8:34 pm

I think Debbie Schlussel has gone off the deep end now! I just watched Incendies. Its made for an audience that understands the civil war in Lebanon, and most Americans are ignorant of this. O am a Lebanese Christian, and many of the scenes in the movie are taken from from war. The “Nationalist” party in the movie was suppose to portray the Phalange party, which DID shoot up a bus full of Muslims. Yes, honor killings do occur in Middle Eastern society- among ALL religious groups- Christians, Muslims and Druze too! Debbie would like you to believe it is only a Muslim practice. Yes, a Lebanese Christian having a sexual relationship, especially outside of marriage, ESPECIALLY with a man of a different religion and ESPECIALLY during a civil war could, and would often lead to an “honor” killing.

The Phalange and the Christians in Lebanon were not innocent. And neither were the Muslims or the PLO. ALL of which are portrayed as bad in the movie. The Muslims were accused of attacking Christian villages in the movie. A PLO warlord massacres a village and takes children in a orphange to become child soldiers.

No one in the movie is innocent. Debbie Schlussel is only upset that it wasn’t ONLY Muslims and Palestinians who were portrayed as terrorists. If the movie was the way Debbie would want it, it wouldn’t be historically accurate. It would be propaganda.

Plus Debbie hates Arab Christians, especially Palestinian Christians. She simply just hates Arab Muslims more.

David on October 22, 2011 at 3:34 pm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sabra_and_Shatila_massacre

I think of your review to be odd as the kindest way to describe it. I am neither “anti-christian” nor “pro-muslim”, but so is the movie. You totally miss the point. Once in it it was stated, that a warlord would be the best person to ask to find the father because “this are exactly the people to remember everything because they have to take any attack and counter-attack in account.” It is just the description of the downward spiral of violence. Massacres of the Phalangists among muslims are fact and the film does not claim Christian faith to be a source of violence, Christianity is just a kind of bogus justification for the hatred-crimes among the Maronites, likewise it was in case of the crusades, likewise it is among Palestinian suicide bombers today.

Mathew on March 28, 2012 at 6:16 pm

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