June 1, 2011, - 1:30 pm

Girlie Man USA: “Groomzilla” – Men Now Planning Their Weddings; In Touch w/Their “Inner Girl”

By Debbie Schlussel

Sadly, it’s time for another installment of “Men: The New Women.”

Over the years on this site, I’ve documented the many, many ways in which American (and sometimes other Western) men are ever increasingly feminized into America’s weaker sex and America’s women are the new men.  The latest is this horrifying story from a women’s magazine, which seems to enjoy this further example of more American men who’ve voluntarily surrendered their testicles.

Groomzilla: Another Word for Girlie Man

You’ve heard of “Bridezilla,” the term used to describe the unhinged behavior of far too many American brides planning their weddings (for marriages, which will probably last five years tops).  Now, though, America is seeing an increase in “Groomzilla,” men–YES, they claim to be men–who are planning their weddings and getting carried away. I can understand that, if a guy is paying for his wedding, he wants to cut down on costs. But the guys in this article already cut up their mancards.

Meet Groomzilla. He’s seizing wedding planning, obsessing about details that were once strictly bridal turf. . . .

Financial analyst Jonathan Nowling, 28, says he’s an “over-the-top penny-pincher” when it comes to planning his September 2011 nuptials to insurance underwriter Nicole Johnson, 30, in Sacramento, California. “I feel guilty — it’s supposed to be her day,” he says. . . .

Wedding planning has evoked my inner girl,” he says. “I used to cut my hair at Walmart, now I have my own stylist. And I may get a manicure with clear polish for the wedding.”

Although his fiancée is thrilled to have some help, “I get embarrassed sometimes,” says Johnson.

Gee, I wonder why.

Another reason grooms are freaking out: The wedding industry has recently set their sights on men. Having already sold women on the fairy-tale ending, savvy marketers are appealing to guys. Bridal websites provide tips for coed showers (“Jack and Jill parties”), and luxury spas offer “Groom Specials.” Even wedding reality shows aren’t solely female-focused anymore. Cake Boss and My Big Friggin’ Wedding appeal to a male audience.

Oy. This is what’s so sad and so wrong about America and the rest of the West–one of the many things, anyway. We’ve become so obsessed with “equality” and blurring the gender lines that now there simply aren’t any beyond DNA and organs. “Coed showers” is a phrase that should ONLY refer to a sexual experience involving water, not a froofy, frilly party where men get to act like women . . . in front of women. J. Edgar Hoover is jealous. He was born a few decades too early.

Seth Abbey, 37, a New Jersey-based sports researcher, is engaged to writer Abigail Lorge, 34. They watch TLC’s Four Weddings, and recently bickered over whether to DVR a marathon of reruns (his choice) or a ball game (her choice). “When I click on The Knot and it says, ‘Welcome back, Seth!’ I feel like a deadbeat bride,” says Lorge.

Um, methinks Seth belongs in a San Francisco bath house, not in a heterosexual coupling.

Teacher Tara Gerritz, 30, is married to Jeff Trinci, 31, “The CEO of our wedding.” When they wed in 2007, Gerritz was startled by Trinci’s zeal. “Jeff did way more than me.”

Back then, there were no male-oriented resources for the things Trinci cared about — the music for the reception and first dance; booking the venue, the budget, the menu, the color scheme. So he created thegroomslist.com, a guide for men who want a voice in wedding planning.

Ah, just what we needed!

“Weddings aren’t just for women,” says Trinci. “Men really need this.”

Uh, no, men who think they are women really need this. Dude, where are your testicles? Time for them to obsess on getting some testosterone mega-transfusions.

Oh, and by the way, the article comes from Marie Claire, which also is a huge cheerleader for Islam and Islamic extremism.  You think men in the Muslim world are planning their weddings or getting in touch with their inner “Fatima?”  Trust me, they didn’t plan their wedding to wife #1 and they ain’t gonna do it for wives #2-4.

America, take note. While the men in Muslim nations are thinking up new ways to kill us, the “men” in America are now thinking about color schemes and flowers. Pathetic.

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28 Responses

Its one thing if a guy has an idea of what kind of wedding he wants. But no real man would be caught dead planning a wedding. Those are usually details rightly left to the bride.

Personally, I find elaborate weddings expensive and unnecessary. In these frugal times, you can get married, like my parents did, in a civil ceremony. There is no good reason to show off your love in front of the entire world.

If there isn’t a reason to do it quietly and without the fanfare, there’s probably nothing getting worth married over. That’s the same reason I look in askance on public marriage proposals. The more public the wedding ceremony, the more likely it is the marriage will lack real substance.

Let’s see if they are still married in five years.

NormanF on June 1, 2011 at 1:41 pm

G-d, we have become a nation of fags. Most guys are dragged kicking and screaming to wedding shops, flower shops, etc. The proper man complains about cost.

Jonathan E. Grant on June 1, 2011 at 1:42 pm

    Don’t drag us into this! We can’t married and if you can’t keep your women in line it’s not my fault.

    Pete Bone on June 1, 2011 at 11:12 pm

Jon, I definitely know how I want to get married. And if it can’t be simple and spare, maybe I am with the wrong woman. And trust me on this, I have no desire to get in touch with my “inner girl!”

NormanF on June 1, 2011 at 1:49 pm

Right on Norman and Jon Grant, you have to put all the blame on the so-called “feminist movement”, they’ve done a good job of emasculating some of us males by turning some of us into metrosexual guys.

I’m planning on getting a girlfriend and marry her one day, but I personally will never plan a wedding the two of us, I’ll let my girlfriend do that. And no, I will NEVER get in touch with my so-called “inner female”, as long as I’m alive, I will never do that nonsense to myself.

“A nation is defined by it’s borders, language & culture!”

Sean R. on June 1, 2011 at 2:01 pm

Sean, no. But you do have the right to decide what kind of wedding you want. The fact the woman plans it doesn’t give her the right to have it her way, especially if the cost might be astronomical. Real men in a word, don’t plan weddings but they do make it clear to the woman how much wedding they can afford.

NormanF on June 1, 2011 at 2:06 pm

I would like to dub a new term for these types of guys:

“Fem-males”

their anthem: “What What (in the butt)” by Samwell

Pats on June 1, 2011 at 2:11 pm

It makes me wonder why have grooms when you can have twin brides at the altar. Same sex weddings are already here and its not a joke!

NormanF on June 1, 2011 at 2:13 pm

Norman, your right man, I’m a little wrong in my last post, the time when I decide that I want to marry my girlfriend, I can decide which type of wedding me and her want, and I also acklowedge the cost of the wedding as you written Norman. If it’s affordable, more power to the two of us, if it’s unaffordable, then the both of us will have a “plan B” solution. Norman, thanks for enlighten me, because I was wrong on what I wrote.

“A nation is defined by it’s borders, language & culture!”

Sean R. on June 1, 2011 at 2:16 pm

Men…I say go “half-sies” with the bride-to-be, up to a maximum amount you are willing to part with (for that ONE DAY’s festivities) and make it clear that anything ‘above-and-beyond’ comes straight out of her (or her family’s) pocket.

Oh, and lest she simply say, “No matter, I’ll just charge-it” make sure to check out the joint-indebtedness laws in your state first! You might get stuck with the bill anyways.

Patrice Stanton on June 1, 2011 at 2:24 pm

“We’ve become so obsessed with “equality” and blurring the gender lines that now there simply aren’t any beyond DNA and organs.”

The feminization campaign seems these days to start when they’re very young. There’s a commercial running in which a young girl is putting make-up on … her little brother! The mother comes in and, instead of expressing dismay, asks curiously “What are you doing?” “Fighting cavities,” they respond. (It’s a toothpaste commercial for heaven’s sake!)

Raymond in DC on June 1, 2011 at 2:51 pm

As a former militant feminist, it is so troublesome how men have become so feminized. It’s disgusting and unappealing.

And since females have become such skanks, it’s amazing that any guy would would marry anyone (and like DS pointed out…very ephemerally) when the milk is so free these days. It’s skanky-guy Shangri-La!

Oh, and these *maybe* closeted men are doing even a worse disservice because they are NOT being true to their sexuality. I have NO SYMPATHY for closeted gays who pull that BS. It hurts the woman/men and the potential children. Heinous all around.

Skunky on June 1, 2011 at 3:10 pm

@ Skunky

Yeah but a bonesmoker can’t make babies by tapping roundeye

AnusPresley on June 1, 2011 at 3:23 pm

    DUH. I was speaking of the closeted gays who AT FIRST marry a heterosexual partner.

    Then they get all the courage (now it’s like 30 years since there really has been no stigma) after they destroy the wife/hubby and all the kids.

    Sorry. I do like gays but I don’t respect gays like above (and bisexuals).

    Skunky on June 2, 2011 at 12:01 am

Man, my idea of a good wedding is one with as few guests as possible, as little of my money being spent as possible – except on nice medium rare steaks. Most of my focus in preparation will be in finding ways to avoid having to dance. Forget getting participation from me in flowers and crap; I may have to take a hammer to my foot.

Brian R. on June 1, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    My parents were married in the New York Mayor’s Office. Just before I was born. It wouldn’t do have me born in sin. :)

    NormanF on June 1, 2011 at 4:14 pm

This is just one more effect of the many disastrous social engineering concepts dribbled on us by the baby-boomers. Gen-x elders are old enough to remember what the world was really like, but powerless to undo the massive destruction already saddled on to the social fabric and mores of almost 2 generations after.

DS_ROCKS! on June 1, 2011 at 3:51 pm

Show me a man that want to plan the wedding, and I will show you a man Patton would have slapped.

This feminization of America began in the Clinton years, and has continued up to the present administration.

The same thing is starting to happen in Israel, but every now and then a terrorist explosion snaps them back into reality.

Jonathan E. Grant on June 1, 2011 at 3:56 pm

    Jon, with women taking over traditional male prerogatives, let’s not be hypocritical. You and Debbie have a good point but why shouldn’t men do the stuff women used to do if they can no longer have what’s theirs? I mean women can no longer have it both ways. Men need to feel relevant. And if they’re denied that, they’ll be girlie-men. Not that I approve of it but I understand they’re reacting in the only way they can to the loss of their old status in our society.

    NormanF on June 1, 2011 at 4:19 pm

I have no problem with a man expressing his preferences for his wedding, and helping with some of the organization aspects. I do, however, have a problem with a person of either gender going overboard and flipping out over incosequential aspects of a party, when they should be focusing on building relationships, with their spouse-to-be and their new extended families.

Bridezilla, Groomzilla, they’re both overgrown monsters.

Bring back the days of a wedding fitting in the nave of the chapel, or the parlor, or the judge’s chambers. Have A maid/matron of honor and A best man. Invite only the nearest and dearest. Everyone else gets an announcement.

If you want food that will inspire your tastebuds, take the the 10 or 20 people in the wedding to a super restaurant, and be happy with whatever decor they have. They’ll probably have background music, so dance, if you want to.

Forget the whole “It’s my day” or even “It’s our day,” tripe. It is a day for the joining of two families, and it’s everybody’s day! Dad’s getting a new son. Granny’s getting a new granddaughter. Celebrate that, and don’t be such selfish twits.

The groom was fussing over flatware, rather than comforting his panicking, crying bride? It will never last.

Michelle on June 1, 2011 at 4:38 pm

During the planning of our wedding, my wife was considerate enough to ask me what I wanted at the wedding. I firmly answered, “uh . . . “

Harry on June 1, 2011 at 5:00 pm

Sorry,but wedding planning is not on my agenda.

Ghostwriter on June 1, 2011 at 5:56 pm

Thank G-d my wife’s friends were so happy to help her plan ours, simple as it was.

CornCoLeo on June 2, 2011 at 12:36 am

i had read some near scientic news article that too much stress change steroid hormon levels, increase corticosteroids and decrease testosteron. and this results man being ‘metrosexuals’ aka fags;)

edgarm7 on June 2, 2011 at 8:49 am

i had read near scientific news article, that stress change steroid hormon levels increasing korticosteroids and decreasing testosteron. so everyday stress of modern western life turns man into ‘metrosexuals’ aka fags.

edgarm7 on June 2, 2011 at 9:00 am

I just want to go outside and pee on a tree.

Tanstaafl on June 3, 2011 at 9:04 am

onathan Nowling is very much a dirtbag. I can tell you that he is a liar and a cheater and has been stringing someone along for months now. Never once did he mention he was engaged, as a matter of fact he was very adamant Nicole was just a friend and was engaged to someone else and he was just helping her out with the wedding planning. If I was Nicole, I would do some digging to make sure he isn’t keeping anyone else on the side.

lkjslkjel ljklkl;jk on July 1, 2011 at 9:29 am

One word… nausea. That’s what I experienced reading this article. And that’s because it’s so true. LOL on the “Coed Showers” :)

Chanuka Erdita on December 21, 2011 at 6:15 am

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