June 1, 2011, - 1:30 pm
Sadly, it’s time for another installment of “Men: The New Women.”
Over the years on this site, I’ve documented the many, many ways in which American (and sometimes other Western) men are ever increasingly feminized into America’s weaker sex and America’s women are the new men. The latest is this horrifying story from a women’s magazine, which seems to enjoy this further example of more American men who’ve voluntarily surrendered their testicles.
Groomzilla: Another Word for Girlie Man
You’ve heard of “Bridezilla,” the term used to describe the unhinged behavior of far too many American brides planning their weddings (for marriages, which will probably last five years tops). Now, though, America is seeing an increase in “Groomzilla,” men–YES, they claim to be men–who are planning their weddings and getting carried away. I can understand that, if a guy is paying for his wedding, he wants to cut down on costs. But the guys in this article already cut up their mancards.
Meet Groomzilla. He’s seizing wedding planning, obsessing about details that were once strictly bridal turf. . . .
Financial analyst Jonathan Nowling, 28, says he’s an “over-the-top penny-pincher” when it comes to planning his September 2011 nuptials to insurance underwriter Nicole Johnson, 30, in Sacramento, California. “I feel guilty — it’s supposed to be her day,” he says. . . .
“Wedding planning has evoked my inner girl,” he says. “I used to cut my hair at Walmart, now I have my own stylist. And I may get a manicure with clear polish for the wedding.”
Although his fiancée is thrilled to have some help, “I get embarrassed sometimes,” says Johnson.
Gee, I wonder why.
Another reason grooms are freaking out: The wedding industry has recently set their sights on men. Having already sold women on the fairy-tale ending, savvy marketers are appealing to guys. Bridal websites provide tips for coed showers (“Jack and Jill parties”), and luxury spas offer “Groom Specials.” Even wedding reality shows aren’t solely female-focused anymore. Cake Boss and My Big Friggin’ Wedding appeal to a male audience.
Oy. This is what’s so sad and so wrong about America and the rest of the West–one of the many things, anyway. We’ve become so obsessed with “equality” and blurring the gender lines that now there simply aren’t any beyond DNA and organs. “Coed showers” is a phrase that should ONLY refer to a sexual experience involving water, not a froofy, frilly party where men get to act like women . . . in front of women. J. Edgar Hoover is jealous. He was born a few decades too early.
Seth Abbey, 37, a New Jersey-based sports researcher, is engaged to writer Abigail Lorge, 34. They watch TLC’s Four Weddings, and recently bickered over whether to DVR a marathon of reruns (his choice) or a ball game (her choice). “When I click on The Knot and it says, ‘Welcome back, Seth!’ I feel like a deadbeat bride,” says Lorge.
Um, methinks Seth belongs in a San Francisco bath house, not in a heterosexual coupling.
Teacher Tara Gerritz, 30, is married to Jeff Trinci, 31, “The CEO of our wedding.” When they wed in 2007, Gerritz was startled by Trinci’s zeal. “Jeff did way more than me.”
Back then, there were no male-oriented resources for the things Trinci cared about — the music for the reception and first dance; booking the venue, the budget, the menu, the color scheme. So he created thegroomslist.com, a guide for men who want a voice in wedding planning.
Ah, just what we needed!
“Weddings aren’t just for women,” says Trinci. “Men really need this.”
Uh, no, men who think they are women really need this. Dude, where are your testicles? Time for them to obsess on getting some testosterone mega-transfusions.
Oh, and by the way, the article comes from Marie Claire, which also is a huge cheerleader for Islam and Islamic extremism. You think men in the Muslim world are planning their weddings or getting in touch with their inner “Fatima?” Trust me, they didn’t plan their wedding to wife #1 and they ain’t gonna do it for wives #2-4.
America, take note. While the men in Muslim nations are thinking up new ways to kill us, the “men” in America are now thinking about color schemes and flowers. Pathetic.
Tags: Abigail Lorge, California, co-ed showers, coed showers, feminized men, girlie-man, girlieman, girly-man, girlyman, groom who plan their weddings, Groomzilla, inner girl, Jeff Trinci, Jonathan Nowling, Marie Claire, men get in touch with inner girl, men planning their weddings, men--the new women, Nicole Johnson, Sacramento, Seth Abbey, Tara Gerritz, The Groom's List