June 23, 2011, - 1:43 pm
Is it just me . . . or are you sick of the faux moral “outrage” over the frank private conversation of a Southwest pilot who forgot to turn off his microphone? I have a theory about why the tape was suddenly released. Gold-digging flight attendants and blood-sucking lawyers are preparing to file suit over the tape of the pilot’s comments (despite the fact that he was already required to go to political correctness mind programming, er . . . “sensititivity training”). Cha-ching! After the release of this tape and all the absurd false piety over it, good luck at getting a fair jury to try this thing. Southwest will quickly settle.
Yes, the pilot’s slurs against gays and repeated F-bombs are offensive. But let’s be honest. America has a schizophrenic relationship with airline pilots. Over the decades, we’ve glamorized exactly the kind of stuff (other than the attacks on gays) that the pilot said over the airwaves. There have been countless movies, TV shows, novels, etc. about pilots who supposedly live the life of James Bond: women, drinks, and a whirlwind lifestyle. And then we’re OUTRAGED! that one of ‘em actually might live something close to that life … or, rather, whines that he can’t.
Listen to the Southwest Pilot’s Rant:
In real life, most pilots don’t live this life, especially not today, now that planes have been reduced to Amtrak cattle cars in the sky. And, clearly, this pilot doesn’t live that life either, since he pointedly says on the audio that only one airline stewardess, er . . . flight attendant was “part doable.” Most pilots are not paid a lot, don’t meet glamorous “flight attendants” in sexy outfits, and are just tired out, unappreciated men in danger of the next job lay-off. Oh, and many of them are in affirmative action fights against less qualified female pilots who fly fewer hours and get pushed into slots because the accident of birth gave them female plumbing.
The Southwest pilot in question thought he was engaged in a private conversation with a fellow co-pilot. And it’s not as if his conversation went out to the passengers on the plane. It went out to fellow pilots and air traffic controllers, one or more of whom recorded it for posterity.
Yes, if you or I engaged in a similar conversation within the hearing capability of others, we’d probably be fired from our jobs. But let’s get real. This is how many men talk in private when they are among other guys. Does anyone really think that this is the first guy on earth rating women’s looks and talking about the prospects? Again, isn’t this how our culture–both pop and otherwise–has portrayed pilots for decades? And now, suddenly, we’re shocked–shocked!–that some pilots actually talk about it in private conversations?
Frankly, other than the attacks on gays–and if we’re honest, we know that 102.3% of male flight attendants are gay–I thought some of his comments were funny, even if I was laughing more at him, though a little with him. Calling larger flight attendants, “grandes”–that’s very creative. I think I’ll steal that. We know that in the more glamorous days of flight, airline stewardesses were carefully chosen because they were good-looking, glamorous, and passed certain weight and appearance requirements. In this day of flying cattle cars of the great unwashed and discrimination lawsuits by every fat, ugly woman, airlines simply can’t provide that atmosphere anymore.
And while the pilot may sound like a pig–and probably is, it’s not like it’s rare or unusual for BOTH male AND female employees in most employment settings to size up the looks of their co-workers in private conversation. Anyone who thinks this doesn’t go on, is living on another planet. And anyone outraged–OUTRAGED!–by this is a fraud. That’s the society we live in, today. It’s, sadly, very vain and emphasizes looks and plastic surgery. That’s why skanks like Kim Kardashian and Lindsay Lohan are all over celebrity magazines. It ain’t for reasons of talent . . . at least, vertical talents. It’s not a good thing. But this pilot wasn’t the inventor of this ethos. He won’t be the first to comment on which employees are “doable,” “grandes,” and “grannies,” and he won’t be the last.
It’s a sign that pilots are decent men–or, at least, watching each others’ backs–that the other pilots heard on the recording are warning and/or admonishing the pilot. But how many of them have private conversations just like this? More than this one pilot, I guarantee you. Yes, probably most pilots are classy and not foul-mouthed like this. But I’m sure there’s a significant percentage who talk just like this guy. . . when they think it’s a private conversation.
One pilot’s chastising on the recording says that this is why airline pilots have a bad reputation. No, I don’t think most passengers care if the pilot is sizing up “doables,” “grandes,” and “grannies.” Passengers care that they land safely and in one piece. And many of the stories that have led to a bad public image for pilots involve drunk pilots, texting/net-surfing pilots who missed their destination, and pilots who don’t get enough sleep and crash. All of these involve safety. A private conversation about female and male co-workers doesn’t even approach those hazardous behaviors by some pilots. Frankly, I’m more concerned about the pilot pressing the wrong buttons on a flying plane than with what he said thereafter.
Last night, when I couldn’t fall asleep, I watched the same ABC News overnight anchors who gushed over a story about parents allowing their teen kids to have sex at home, get all upset over this adult pilot’s private comments. Puh-leeze. You people are morons. It’s okay for kids who are still kids to start having sex at 15 under your own roof with your permission, but you get upset when a pilot talks about how only one flight attendant is “part doable?”
The same Americans who have no problem with a society that worships Paris Hilton and the Kardashians are the same Americans who are suddenly outraged by this pilot’s private conversation that is more typical than not. These are the same people who went to see both installments of the far more offensive and graphic, “The Hangover,” and made those and most Judd Apatow movies hundreds of millions of dollars each. If you’re outraged at this pilot’s private conversations, but not at these far more disgusting, offensive movies, you’re a fraud. And sadly, most Americans with this kind of moral outrage are frauds. They’re simply not consistent with their political correctness.
Yup, we’re a nation of hypocrites. And this piggish pilot is the scapegoat. Lighten up, people. And get a sense of priorities. And proportion.
One guy’s private conversation in the air isn’t nearly as destructive as the shows that appear nightly on E!, VH-1, and MTV.
The most offensive thing the Southwest pilot did here was that he forgot to push the off button on the mic.
Tags: airline pilot, audio, cute chicks, doable, faux moral outrage, faux outrage, flight attendants union, gays, grandes, grannies, grannys, homosexuals, lawsuit, lawyers, moral outrage, outrage, part doable, pilot, pilot's rant, private conversation, rant, Southwest, Southwest Airline, Southwest Airlines, Southwest pilot, Southwest pilot rant, stewardesses, union lawsuit