June 24, 2011, - 5:50 pm
I did not see “Cars 2″ because I did not see the first “Cars,” and that wouldn’t have been fair since, per my rules, I saw “Breakin’” before I saw “Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo.” (To those of you who really believe I actually threw away two hours of my life on “Breakin’ 2,” I’m just kidding.) However, “Cars 2″ does feature a fan/friend of this site, Larry the Cable Guy a/k/a Dan Whitney, a true conservative and a great guy (I have even been on the Git’R'Done 1.) So, I support whatever he’s doing. Here’s what I did see:
* “Bad Teacher“: There are a lot of movies I like about bad people–bad Santas (“Bad Santa”), bad cops (“Bad Lieutenant”), etc. But “Bad Teacher?” Um, no thanks. Sometimes bad is good. This ain’t one of those times. Sorry.
While this was better than I expected, it was still pretty awful. Vile, juvenile, disgusting, and laced with four-letter words, gratuitous shots of naked breasts and erections. Yup, most movies these days have been brought down under the rush to imitate the vulgar Judd Apatow. I laughed a few times, but not as much as I should have for a comedy. Oh, and of course, the pro-life character is a geek in this movie. Aren’t they always, in the world according to Hollywood? The thing I liked most–no, the only thing I liked–about this movie was Cameron Diaz’s awesome haute couture designer wardrobe and shoes. Diaz is looking tired and haggard, these days. The body still has it, but the face has hit the wall along with this horrible script and storyline.
Diaz plays a vain, shallow, alcoholic, pothead, lazy, incompetent middle school teacher who’s been dumped by her rich boyfriend. She thinks that if she gets breast implants, she will attract a rich guy. So she steals, cajoles, and otherwise scams her way into getting the nearly $10,000 she needs to pay for the implants. While a gym teacher (Jason Segel) chases after her, she chases after the wealthy substitute teacher, played by Justin Timberlake. Timberlake turns out to be geeky and strange, and pro-life. As I noted, this is deliberate. The conservatives are always weirdos in Hollywood’s telling of any story.
Diaz spends all day showing her students movies, while she sleeps at her desk, smokes pot in her car and displays other bad behavior. All the while, she is being shadowed by a goody-goody teacher who is jealous of her success in “just getting by” and scamming and is trying to take her down. Predictably, like most Hollywood movies these days, the good teacher is the villain and the bad teacher is the heroine and gets rewarded. Yay, Hollywood. Great message. And Diaz’s character is so miserable, with zero charm. Yet, we’re supposed to root for this con-man criminalette in a skirt. HUH?
If you liked this and you are over 30, you really need to grow up. This movie wasn’t aimed at me or my demographic. It’s clearly for 2o-something slacker frat boys and moronic girls who smoke pot, love the slutty Kardashians, and loathe good taste and behavior. And for them, there is a scene of Cameron Diaz in a sexy car wash romp along with the in-your-face erection. Classy. And, like everything else in this movie, it’s gratuitous and pointless . . . other than to separate you from your $10. Don’t fall for the ruse.
Watch the trailer . . .
* “Buck“: Loved this documentary about a great American cowboy and one of the many decent, real men still left rural, G-d’s Country America. Buck Brannaman is “The Horse Whisperer,” on whom the Robert Redford movie was based. And Redford makes an appearance in the movie. But don’t let that fool ya. This is about a down to earth man who lives modestly in an RV he drives around North America for most of the year. Some people are street wise. And some, like Buck, are barn wise or great rural outdoors wise.
Brannaman trains people how to tame their horses in a humane and gentle way and has a magic and sparkle that leaves the animals quiet and docile without any sort of harsh discipline. He learned that in reaction to his abusive alcoholic father’s beatings and as a way to make something of himself as he lived in a foster home. Although I am often annoyed by the need to portray every great American somehow “damaged” by abuse, I still loved this movie for the story it told of a quintessential American in a working class environment. Brannaman is also a businessman and small business owner, but you’d hardly know it as you watch him and his folksy ways and skill.
I could have done without Brannaman telling about how he watches Oprah and how she says men should help with chores. Even he seems embarrassed by saying so and chortles at this revelation. But other than that, it’s simply a fun, relaxing, escapist look at Americana. It’s kind of an unvarnished Ralph Lauren ad with working class cowboys instead of the wealthy polo player/male model types the designer presents.
Brannaman speaks occasionally about his brother, who is also a horse whisperer, but we never see the brother anywhere in the movie, something that’s never explained. Perhaps they do not get along and in researching this, it appears they are something of competitors in the business and have strikingly different personalities. But we meet Buck’s daughter, a cowgirl in the making, Buck’s wife, and Buck’s foster mother.
I enjoyed this. Even if you’ve never ridden horses and aren’t a horse person, you will still enjoy this.
Watch the trailer . . .
Tags: Bad Teacher, Buck, Buck Brannaman, Cameron Diaz, Documentary, Horse Whisperer, Jason Segel, Justin Timberlake, Lucy Punch, movie, movie review, Movie Reviews, Oprah, Robert Redford