June 30, 2011, - 1:20 am
As longtime readers might remember, I absolutely hated the second Transformers movie, “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” (read my review). And it wasn’t just ‘cuz Israel was wiped off the map, as was the Middle East’s greatest air force (and along with the USAF, the world’s greatest), the Israeli Air Force. It was because the movie was preposterous, with little story. And it was simply waaay tooo looong. Well, “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” is far better than the second installment. But it’s still a mess. And 2 hours, 40 minutes? Come on, Michael Bay. Learn some editing skills. Still waaay toooo loooong.
I also question the use of multiple four-letter words, sexual innuendos, and a chick’s butt shots in a movie based on a kids’ cartoon (and toy) and aimed at kids, complete with multiple movie tie-in toys. (They pulled this foul-mouthed, vulgar crap in the second Transformers flick, too, and I raised the same issue then.) I mean, really, you feature a dialogue about a sex book, “She Comes First,” and show a vaginal-like fruit on the cover, in a movie like this? Mommy, Mommy, I want that book with the nice open papaya with black seeds on it. She Comes First, Daddy. Even worse, the dialogue is between main character Sam (Shia LeBeouf) and his mother. Not just icky. Creepy.
That said, I loved the special effects, especially the stuff in the last part of the movie, in which a building keeps falling and splitting and the main characters try to hang on. Very cool in a post- “Inception” (read my review) kinda way. And, as we know, the special effects are the only reason people go to see this thing. It was in 3-D, which is something of a headache, after more than two hours.
As for the story, well, I wasn’t completely sure what was going on, until it became clear that it was a new fight between the decepticons and the good transformers, the autobots. But it started out with something about the various moon landings and how when we landed on the moon, we saw an old transformer ship that crashed on the moon. Also, John F. Kennedy, Richard Nixon, and even (sadly) Barack Obama make their cameos. It’s interesting that this is the second movie–and second movie sequel–this summer to weave footage of JFK and history into the movie (the first being “X-Men: First Class” – read my review). The various incarnations of landing on the moon and the U.S. space program play a role in the storyline because in modern day, apparently the reason the space program has been ruined is that humans working for the decepticons made it too expensive to afford advancements in space. Well, I give it an “A” for inventiveness, but a “C-” for delivery.
Like I said, there wasn’t much of a story. But, basically, Sam (LeBeouf) is dating and living with a Victoria’s Secret model (Rosie Huntington-Whitely) who works for a champion auto racer (Patrick Dempsey). Sam is jealous . . . and unemployed. He gets a job at a NASA contractor, and is suddenly back to helping his transformer friends stave off the decepticons who are trying to colonize earth and enslave humans.
I found most of the movie dull and kinda silly, until the last, very prolonged scenes of great special effects with American soldiers fighting machines from other planets. And a lot of it seemed like rehashes of the first couple of movies fights between the various parties. But it had its moments, like an appearance by real-life astronaut Buzz Aldrin. Love him.
HALF A REAGAN
Watch the trailer . . .
Tags: autobots, Buzz Aldrin, cars, decepticons, Michael Bay, movie, movie review, Movie Reviews, Patrick Dempsey, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Sam Witwicky, Shia LeBoeuf, Transformers, Transformers 3, Transformers: Dark of the Moon