July 18, 2011, - 6:36 pm
Apparently, it wasn’t obvious to some “brainiac” government “researchers” that gay men’s penis size affects the quality of gay sex life. So the National Institutes of Health (NIH) decided to spend $9.4 milion on a ten-year study on how penis size affects a gay man’s sex life and his general overall well-being. Where are the Republicans in cutting crap like this? Here are several expensive NIH studies that have questionable value to most Americans but sound like something the Unabomber or Charles Manson might have dreamed up:
• At least $9.4 million for a 10-year study that included a survey of gay men to determine average penis sizes “…to better understand the real individual-level consequences of living in a penis-centered society;”
I don’t even wanna know the sordid details of how they conducted that study or how they, um, “measured” accurately.
• $154,500 spent asking individuals to mail in their toenails in an effort to research how much toenail nicotine is present versus saliva swabbing, at a cost of $154.50 per batch of toenails;
• $163,500 spent seeking to explain the “drug-using and sexual behaviors among men who have sex with men (MSM) during a circuit party;” and
• $1.2 million spent since 2003 trying to find out whether a mother rat, if given cocaine, will abandon her babies.
For half the money, I can predict with quite a bit of accuracy–no studies necessary–that a mother in Detroit who is addicted to cocaine might abandon her babies . . . or try to trade them for the white stuff. It ain’t Einstein stuff. And it ain’t worthy of study. Not at all.