August 26, 2011, - 4:40 pm

Stuff We Don’t Need to See: 54-Yr-Old Princess Leia in Star Wars Bikini

By Debbie Schlussel

File this under “Stuff We Absolutely Don’t Want to See.”

In this age of internet inspired oversharing and TMI, we are subject to far too many “visions” that we simply don’t need to see.  The site of a 54-year-old Carrie Fisher in the “Star Wars” sequel metal bikini she donned as a prisoner/slave of Jabba the Hutt is one of ’em.  In her ’20s, she looked good.  But at age 54 . . . please, make it stop.

Fisher is the new Jennie Craig girl.  And she’s so proud of the 50 pounds she lost, she’s threatening to don the “Return of the Jedi” bikini of Hutt fame again.  Please, don’t do it.  She also says of herself, “I wouldn’t kick me out of bed.”  Um, that’s debatable.  In the oversharing/TMI category, Fisher also tells us how much weight she’s lost in her breasts, er . . . “the sisters.”  Oy.  I repeat, PLEASE, Make It Stop!

Actress Carrie Fisher, 54, best known for her role as Princess Leia in the Star Wars movies, says she’ll squeeze back into that famous Return of the Jedi bikini on one condition:

“I will do it if a whole bunch of women over 40 come to Yankee Stadium. We’ll put everyone in metal bikinis, and we will sit around and laugh and talk about the old days when we ate a lot.”

Sadly, you know there are other over-40s who will oblige. Get ready for your eyes to hurt.

Fisher would like to lose an additional 8 pounds or so, especially in her stomach and “the sisters” (her chest), she says.

“I’m at war with my chest. I’ve lost 10 inches in the sisters. That must have meant that I had an end table under my chin. I have exhausted the alphabet on bra sizes and had to go to Sanskrit.” . . .

Fisher says when she saw the new photo of herself in the suit, she thought, “I wouldn’t kick me out of bed.”

Where’s Darth Vader when you need him?

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26 Responses

Remind not to watch the Yankees game on whatever day this happens.

John on August 26, 2011 at 4:46 pm

Sorry, Remind me.

John on August 26, 2011 at 4:47 pm

Yes, as a fan of Carrie Fisher, I would NOT want to see her in the bikini at 54. It’s not dignified and with her past I am surprised she doesn’t know better.

Carrie Fisher is one of those rare actresses/writers that is like “grandfathered” in for me (in terms of liking). I think it’s because being 9 and seeing “Star Wars” was such an event for me. I loved Princess Leia. Well, at least for the first two films. Never saw any others. Didn’t even see “Return Of The Jedi” (which was originally supposed to be called “Revenge Of The Jedi”) because I HATED where Lucas took the story. So I have only seen her in snaps of the “bikini” and never the movie.

CF really hates “Republicans”. Since I am familiar with the knee-jerk instant dislike of them Liberals have, it shows me that she really is NOT clued into politics at all. If she did, she’d see there is a difference between Conservatives and Republicans and that the “Republicans” are in shambles because they are predominately LIBERAL ones today. If she had a clue, she’d see that many “Republicans” today are as Liberal and ill-informed as she is. She can’t see they like the same things.

I did LOVE her book “Wishful Drinking”. The cover is great! I loved her one-woman show on it too. What I have liked about CF AFTER my “Star Wars” fan years is that she is a very good writer. Acerbic and sardonically funny. I just love that type of humour.

Skunky on August 26, 2011 at 4:59 pm

    Acerbic and sardonically funny. I just love that type of humour.

    Skunky on August 26, 2011 at 4:59 pm

    Reply

    When I read this column, I remembered an interview that Carrie Fisher did, for, I believe, the Sunday New York Times, in the Fall of 1977, shortly after the release of the first STAR WARS film. THAT’S the woman who shone through that article, a woman who would have relaized how demeaning it was to suggest that a bunch of formerly fat women go to Yankee Stadium and put on metal bikinis. How mighty are the fallen!!!
    Dig out the article. It may be too old to appear on the Internet, but you can go to the library, consult the Times Index, and read it on microfilm.

    Miranda Rose Smith on August 29, 2011 at 7:40 am

      THAT’S the woman who shone through that article, a woman who would have realized how demeaning it was to suggest that a bunch of formerly fat women go to Yankee Stadium and put on metal bikinis. How mighty are the fallen!!!

      Miranda Rose Smith on August 29, 2011 at 8:16 am

    Carrie has the option of *not* wearing the bikini. Perhaps we should count our blessings.

    Tex Pepper on October 17, 2011 at 12:17 pm

I think some people would rather see Jabba the Hutt wear the metal bikini. Sorry, Carrie, you’ve lost weight, not years!

Alan on August 26, 2011 at 5:18 pm

Whatever. Another Hollywoodite-has-been craving attention. Some people just don’t know how to age gracefully.

Road Warrior on August 26, 2011 at 5:22 pm

Paul Simon eventually kicked her out of bed when she still looked like she did in “Return Of The Jedi,” therefore, I would logically assume there might be other reasons for not jumping into the sack with her than her appearance. Anyhow, as long as nobody is forcing me to look at her, she’s free to dress as she pleases. This is not an Islamic country…at least most of it still isn’t…for the time being.

Irving on August 26, 2011 at 6:11 pm

“The Sisters?”

Grow up…please.

ebayer on August 26, 2011 at 6:30 pm

I have caught bits and pieces of her one woman show…. Wishful Drinking. She was looking very haggardly. I enjoy the booze as much as anyone but you can see people who lived hard. She is one of them. Let it also be noted that her voice is at least 4 octaves lower then mine.

Forsberg on August 26, 2011 at 7:15 pm

If she hooked up with Bill Clinton then the “sisters” could get together with “the boys”……

LMAO

IceNoMore on August 26, 2011 at 11:26 pm

Forget Fisher, lets see Janet Reno in a string bikini. Hot!

Truth on August 27, 2011 at 8:56 am

“Where’s Darth Vader when you need him”?

I guess Darth must not have done her when she was a captive during the first movie in the trilogy. You know, once you go black you never go back. Worked out good for Han Solo.

As far as her breasts go, may be made a special trip to the planet “Titooine” to get implants.

CornCoLeo on August 27, 2011 at 10:34 am

    LOL! Corn…your post made me LOLOL!

    Actually, so did Truth, Ice and Forsberg! Too funny!

    Skunky on August 27, 2011 at 11:33 am

C’mon Debbie! Don’t be so jealous of those other gals. You are a hottie yourself, and have your admirers, trust me!

RT on August 27, 2011 at 9:36 pm

You can’t kick yourself out of bed, any more than you can kiss your own elbow or cry on your own shoulder.

If a woman, who has lost considerable weight, thinks she’s lost enough to look well in bikinis again, and she wants to wear one at a swimming pool or on the beach, that’s fine with me. I’m very proud of myself because I look well in bikinis again. My bikini is cloth, by the way, not metal.

Like many movie stars, Carrie Fisher is a washing her dirty linen in public ego tripper. I still think it’s very admirable that she took the weight off. This whole Yankee Stadium idea is a ridiculous publicity stunt. Will Carrie Fisher provide the metal bikinis or will the women be expected to provide their own? The fact that she’s inviting a whole bunch of strange women to come and make fools of themselves shows that even she, the movie star, the ego tripper, realizes she won’t look that well in the bikini.

Where is Carrie Fisher’s agent? We aren’t always the best judges of our own behavior. Why didn’t Ms. Fisher’s agent tell her not to make a fool of herself?

Miranda Rose Smith on August 28, 2011 at 6:55 am

    I believe Ms. Fisher suffers from Bipolar disorder. But honestly, I DON’T want to see her in a metal bikini. She’s a Libtard. And they are NEVER sexy.

    Occam's Tool on August 29, 2011 at 1:02 am

“I will do it if a whole bunch of women over 40 come to Yankee Stadium. We’ll put everyone in metal bikinis, and we will sit around and laugh and talk about the old days when we ate a lot.”

Is it possible that that’s her idea of a joke?

Miranda Rose Smith on August 28, 2011 at 7:00 am

This is off-topic, but all of you who are in the path of Hurricane Irene are in my thoughts and prayers.

Miranda Rose Smith on August 28, 2011 at 8:12 am

Perhaps there is a pecuniary interest here. The dam# bikini has its own website and anyone can buy one. Alot of Leia and Carrie photos as well. http://www.LeiasMetalBikini.com

Kent on August 28, 2011 at 10:58 am

Isn’t it amusing how Hollywood truly attracts the vain?

This woman is old enough to be a gramma. Why is she still concerned about wearing something a 20-year old woman should be wearing?

The incessant fixation with youth seems to manifest itself in Hollywood (and most forms of entertainment, TBH).

What’s wrong with 54-year old Carrie Fisher? One that dresses like an adult, and not some horny teen? Why can’t that Carrie Fisher be enough?

pitandpen on August 28, 2011 at 11:10 am

I was surprised she was able to stay of cocaine long enough to lose the weight or to function in society. Wouldn’t be surprised either that she kicks the bucket soon due to her extensive drug use when she was younger. A body can only take so much abuse.

Pats on August 28, 2011 at 4:51 pm

    Pats observed “A body can only take so much abuse.”

    Yeah, take that godawful wookie for example: Used to be a supermodel back in da hood..er..his home planet until he started chillin’ with the wrong crowd and got hooked on Death Stick (see Episode III).

    And Vader, walkin’ around breathing funny and looking badass? You think all that gear was to help him breathe or something? Hell no. The bloke was bloody hot-boxin’ the whole time (psst: it’s the goggles: dead giveaway. Can’t see his eyes).

    I could go on (and on and on and on and…), but I’m gettin’ the shakes and them thar Flintstones Kids Vitamins is callin’ mah name.

    “Yoo hoo! Leia? We’re over here….”

    Princess Leia on October 17, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Carrie Fischer in that Belly Dancing-Slave outfit from “Return of the Jedi” at 54 years of age?

Why not Janet Reno, Janet Napolitano, Janine Garofalo, Kathleen Turner, Barbara Streisand, and Cynthia McKinney all decked out in tiny string bikinis with dental floss, tiny napkins thongs.

I am certaii that liberal males would become more erect than they become trashing Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman, and other female Republicans-Conservatives, and the female liberals would probably all become turned out more than they ever have been with their leftist-liberal boy friends.

Ha, ha, ha!!!!

William on August 28, 2011 at 11:06 pm

William asks: “Why not Janet Reno, Janet Napolitano, Janine Garofalo, Kathleen Turner, Barbara Streisand, and Cynthia McKinney all decked out in tiny string bikinis with dental floss, tiny napkins thongs.”

The correct term is ‘butt floss’

Before anyone feels the urge to diss my latest haute couture (but oh-so-retro) water panties any further (they are a bit scratchy I must admit. Thank goodness for Kevlar), I have it on good authority that Obama himself rather fancies chrome fig leaves. And chrome dog chains. And chokers. And …

How ’bout I run along now and leave you to count your blessings?

:)

Princess Leia on October 17, 2011 at 1:05 pm

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